


Their Damndest

by urgaylol



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Dark Humor, M/M, Smut, a weird amount of political humor, bad, because that's how I like to talk about things, but only at the end, edgy af but like in a lame way, hello children it’s time to talk about utilitarianism, jokes about violence and troubling subjects and existential horror, unapologetically pretentious so sorry in advance, violence and troubling subjects and existential horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-06-25 18:17:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 111,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19751179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urgaylol/pseuds/urgaylol
Summary: Hanzo joins Overwatch and McCree is there and they bounce off each other and there's just barely a plot(UPDATE) now with epilogue





	1. something to drink

**Author's Note:**

> **CW:**
> 
> Hey what up dudes I just wanted to give a warning for this work. It covers a wide variety of troubling subjects with varying degrees of seriousness, many of which are just barely considered appropriate, and although I can't think of anything in specific I want to warn people of I'm still going to give a general warning. I'm interested in a wide variety of subjects and the different ways people react to them but I understand that some of the things that I find interesting can seem provoking to others.
> 
> pls don't sue me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to take a moment to say that i own overwatch and all its characters. I am Jeff Kaplin

_April 15th, 2077_

Too quickly, Hanzo jumped off his couch and got to his feet after hearing a knock at the door to his quarters. When he'd managed to collect himself, he made his way over to the door and opened it.

His mouth grew tight when he saw it was his brother on the other side.

"Hello." Genji greeted.

Hanzo raised an eyebrow as he noticed Genji's face was covered completely by his face plates and visor. Genji rarely covered his face when he was off the job, so it was a bit of a strange sight.

"What do you want?" Hanzo asked.

"There is something you must know. I've come to tell you." Genji replied.

Genji's voice was steady, but there was something in it that made Hanzo feel uneasy.

"Please make it fast." said Hanzo. "I'm expecting company."

"What company?"

"I can hardly see how that is any of your concern."

"McCree has been captured."

Hanzo blinked.

"What?" he asked.

"McCree has been captured and taken as prisoner."

As he processed Genji's words, Hanzo inhaled too quickly and sucked saliva into his lungs. He brought his fist up to his mouth and began to cough.

"By who?" Hanzo sputtered.

"Talon." Genji answered.

"Is he alive?"

"When we last saw him, yes."

"Do we have a plan?"

"No. We know nothing of his location, and Talon has not reached out with demands."

Hanzo squeezed his eyes shut. He knew it was more likely Talon would simply attempt to reprogram him rather than ask for an exchange.

"We are all prepared to offer you support." Genji followed. "Please reach out to--"

Hanzo closed the door in his brother's face.

While he sunk to the ground with his back to the door, Hanzo thought back to the beginning.

* * *

* * *

_January 1st, 2076_

As Genji pulled him down the unfamiliar metal halls of Watchpoint, Gibraltar, Hanzo wondered for the umpteenth time if he'd made a mistake.

Genji's 'choose a side' mentality had initially struck Hanzo the wrong way. Hanzo had chosen a side for the first three decades of his life, and it had ended more than a little poorly. What his brother considered a moral duty, Hanzo considered going in blind. And although he trusted Genji's humanity significantly more than most, Hanzo wasn't as confident in his brother's intelligence. For weeks, Hanzo had been unable to make a decision, as he was too worried his brother would be leading him into a cult.

Unfortunately, he eventually realized he didn't have anything better to do.

"We have arrived." Genji announced as he stopped Hanzo with a hand on his shoulder.

Hanzo brushed his brother's hand off. Setting his jaw, he turned towards the metal door Genji had halted him before.

"Are you prepared to meet your new boss?" asked Genji. "Winston has been looking forward to meeting you."

The door to Winston's office was only decorated by a plate of his first name and a plate that read _No proofs, only busts._ Hanzo found it quite tasteful.

"Does he have a last name?" Hanzo asked.

"No." Genji replied. "He's...well, you'll see."

"He's what?"

"Don't worry about it. You will like him."

Under his missing visor, Genji smiled with his eyes. Hanzo wasn't sure why Genji had insisted on being so friendly towards him ever since he'd agreed to join Overwatch, no matter how rude he'd tried to be in turn. Hanzo suspected it was an attempt to infuriate him.

Although Hanzo also suspected he deserved it.

Genji pointed at the door. Hanzo sighed and reached his palm out to it. It opened as his fingers touched the center. Cautiously, Hanzo stepped inside.

The door closed behind him.

The first thing that Hanzo noticed about Winston's office the light blue color scheme. The second thing Hanzo noticed was that sitting at Winston's desk was a Silverback gorilla.

Hanzo immediately drew his mouth into a tight line. He'd been at Watchpoint for less than an hour and Genji had already set up a practical joke.

The gorilla was an adult, and quite large in size. It sat hunched over at the desk, feeding itself spoonfuls of peanut butter. For reasons unbeknownst to Hanzo, the gorilla was wearing a tiny pair of glasses.

Ready to leave, Hanzo made a small noise of irritation at no one in particular. The gorilla looked up from its peanut butter in Hanzo's direction.

"Oh!" it said. "Hello, Han--"

Against his own volition, both of Hanzo's feet left the ground in unadulterated shock.

It was the first time in a very long while that Hanzo had been physically startled. Hanzo had trained hard in his youth to keep his keep his body from acting against his will no matter how big the surprise. Although apparently, the training hadn't left him prepared for existential ones.

"Sorry! Sorry!" the gorilla followed quickly, his eyes growing wide as he fumbled to put his jar down. "Please don't be scared."

"Akuma!" Hanzo shouted.

The gorilla had the voice of a man. His mouth was moving along with his words, too, so Hanzo was either in new territory, or this was one hell of a prank.

"I'm--getting the feeling that no one told you. I'm Winston." the Silverback said as he pointed to himself.

Forcing his heart to calm down, Hanzo grabbed onto his chest through the fabric of his kimono. After his pulse had managed to lessen, Hanzo gave the Silverback a look.

"You--him?" Hanzo panted.

"Yes. I'd like to offer my deepest apologies that no one informed you of my condition."

Hanzo watched Winston's mouth move with suspicion, still not sure that it wasn't an elaborate hoax.

"I was a science experiment." Winston followed as Hanzo started to gape.

Hanzo closed his mouth. He supposed he'd heard stranger things.

"I've read of other apes spliced with human intellect before." Hanzo admitted. "Are you truly authentic?"

After glancing quickly over both shoulders, Winston pointed at a photo on the wall to his left. Hanzo followed it with his eyes to see that it was a team shot. He briefly recognized his brother's armor before his eyes were drawn to the Silverback gorilla in the back.

Hanzo nodded, impressed. He knew there was probably quite a bit of information that they needed to go over, but he found himself overcome with curiosity at Winston's being.

"Would it offend you if I asked you a few questions regarding your nature?" asked Hanzo.

"Probably not. As long as you refrain from mentioning bananas."

Hanzo nodded again.

"How do you speak?" he asked. "From what I understand, a human's ability to formulate the selection of sounds required for speech is as physical as it is psychological."

"I had more than just my brain tweaked around." Winston answered.

"Why were you genetically altered?"

"I was created to test the effects of prolonged habitation in space."

"And they could not have used Silverbacks of standard neurological capability?"

"No. A standard Silverback lacks the ability to create readable records of their experience."

Winston's answer made no sense to Hanzo.

"You were granted intelligence equal to humans only to be used in an experiment that a human could have participated in just as well?" Hanzo asked. "Why did they not just run the tests on humans?"

"I believe humans are more opposed to putting members of their own kind in danger than other apes."

Hanzo bit the inside of his cheek with irritation. He understood why humans gave more value to those they'd made bonds with than those they'd not, but he'd never been able to grasp the reasons for the differing value they placed on their ethnicity, sex, or species, as long as they could be measured to possess the same levels of intelligence. The way Hanzo saw it, it didn't matter where on the planet a person was from, or even how'd they'd come to be born; be it through woman, a petri dish, or cloning. Just as long as they weren't poor.

"We, uh," Winston continued, "we had an uprising, if it makes you feel better."

"What?"

"On the moon, I mean."

"Oh."

The conversation lulled. Winston looked uncomfortable with the amount of time that passed.

"So, uh, I guess we should go on with the orientation." Winston said as he reached his hand out towards the papers at the end of his desk and accidentally knocked the jar of peanut butter over. "I--darn."

Hanzo watched in silence as Winston readjusted the jar and grabbed the papers successfully. Straightening his glasses, Winston scanned the page before looking back up.

"I'm not sure where to start." Winston followed. "My apologies, I'm not usually the one who does this."

"Do you have a range here?" Hanzo asked.

"We do. We have two gun ranges, a gym, and a sparring room for when you make some friends."

"How do training schedules work?"

"We usually don't have any. We know that you're--uh, a master assassin, so we're fine with letting you train at whatever pace you want as long as we're happy with your service. The only thing we do require is for you is to show up to our meetings, which happen about once a week, as well as all your mission debriefings. Oh, and we require you to have a private lesson with a senior member every Tuesday, not counting this one."

"Very well."

"Because you're a sniper, you'll be training with Commander Amari. Small lady, eye patch. She's hard to miss."

Hanzo had heard of Ana Amari before. He didn't know much, except that she was very talented but refused to work as a solo assassin.

"What is the pay?" Hanzo asked before Winston could take another bite of peanut butter.

"Seventy--no, eighty thousand credits a year." Winston replied, glancing at the papers on his desk. "And you get your own room, free of charge."

"That--"

"We have free laundry, and meal halls too, so it's a good arrangement if you need to pay off a debt."

Winston ended his comment with a tiny chuckle, although he faltered after catching sight of Hanzo's permanently straight face.

"You also have full free access to our health benefits." Winston continued. "Are you familiar with Doctor Angela Ziegler?"

"I've read a little about her technology. And she's wed to my brother."

"She'll be making sure you stay in one piece. She can't regrow limbs or organs, but we can give you a better one if something falls off of you."

"This all sounds like a suspiciously humane arrangement." Hanzo replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, they're unionized." Winston shrugged.

It was a strangely human gesture.

"You allowed them to unionize?" asked Hanzo.

"I encouraged it."

"...Bold of you."

"Any other questions?"

Hanzo thought to himself for a moment, eyes turned towards Winston's expecting face.

"I have a friend who visits me on Wednesdays." Hanzo replied. "What is your policy on visitors?"

"A little complicated, but we can make it happen. Um, ask me about it a few days before they plan to come to base." Winston answered.

"How are assignments distributed?" 

"Uh, Morrison is in charge of assignments. You'll get about two a week, and the schedule is right outside his door. You can sign up for a wait-list for side missions of you're bored enough to want more."

"Very well."

"Would you be alright with us sending you out tomorrow? We've, um, we got a short thing in South America you could help with."

Hanzo thought to himself for a moment.

"I will attend." he answered.

"Great, I'll send you the details about where and when you need to be." Winston replied. "Do you have any other questions?"

"I do not doubt I do, but no other questions are currently presenting themselves to me."

"That's alright. People here are pretty nice, and somebody will be happy to help you at any time of the day. You ready to sign?"

Winston punctuated his comment by turning one of the papers on his desk around so that Hanzo could see it. Hanzo stepped forward until he was in reading range to see that it was a contract.

"I am prepared." said Hanzo.

It wasn't like he had anything to lose. Hanzo reached for the paper to read it over and quickly noticed it was double sided.

"Now, it's a bit of a long contract," Winston warned, "so I'll go over the important information in it. Firstly, Overwatch would like to state that we don't discriminate based off of ethnicity, creed, sexual orientation, relig--"

"Spare me."

"Fair enough. But uh..."

Winston trailed off. Hanzo stared.

"...how do you feel about working with omnics?" Winston finished.

"I can tolerate it." Hanzo replied.

Winston's face relaxed as he let out a tiny sigh of relief. Hanzo scanned the contract to find that everything seemed pretty standard.

"What is this 'life in my own hands' clause?" asked Hanzo.

"That means we can only send you on a suicide mission if you can't think of a better solution."

"Ah."

Continuing to scan, Hanzo made his way to the back of the page.

"Relationship disclosure?" he asked. "Is this in regards to political affiliations?"

"Um, no. That's about romantic entanglement. Sorry, we should have phrased it better. We try not to send out couples on high stakes assignments, so we ask you report any romantic or--uh, long-term sexual relationships you form."

"I highly doubt that will be a problem."

Grabbing a pen from Winston's desk, Hanzo scribbled his kanji on the dotted line at the bottom of the page.

"And here..." said Winston, flipping the page over.

Hanzo signed again.

"Perfect." Winston said once Hanzo's finished. "I hope you'll like it here. If you can get past the fact that our senior members are constantly on the edge of political fallout, it's pretty alright."

Winston chuckled again, but it quickly turned into a sad frown.

Hanzo wasn't that worried about it. He was only at Overwatch for one reason.

"Is there anything else I must know?" Hanzo asked.

"You should be good for now. Genji brought you here, didn't he?"

"Yes."

"He can do a better job than me."

"Very well. I will find him."

Bringing his palms together, Hanzo tipped forward into a small bow. Winston scratched his head.

"I will go." said Hanzo, turning to leave.

"You'll see me around. Thank you for joining us."

All things considered, it could have gone a lot worse. Winston had managed to make a better first impression on Hanzo than most hominids, and he hoped the sentiment was mutual.

Hanzo found Genji outside of Winston's door, halfway through a powdered donut.

"Want one?" Genji asked as he held out a small pink box of more donuts.

"Why is my name written on the box?"

"They were supposed to be for you."

Hanzo didn't reply. Randomly, he took off in a direction. He hoped to find a map, from which he could find the agent quarters and then finally go to bed.

"No, this way." Genji said, stopping Hanzo with a hand. Genji tugged Hanzo's arm, urging him to turn around.

Sighing, Hanzo let Genji lead him.

"Where are we going?" Hanzo asked.

"To your welcome party." Genji replied.

Hanzo slowed his feet to a drag. Genji continued to pull.

"I would prefer not to." said Hanzo.

"As I would prefer not to be at war. However, some things just have to be."

Despite giving a low groan of protest, Hanzo supposed he did owe Genji at least a little bit.

The halls of Watchpoint were foreign and metal. The buildings were somewhat interlinked, although they were laid out more like a college campus than a military base and Hanzo found himself tugged into the warm Spanish air a few times as they moved from building to building. At least the walk wasn't too long, as they stopped after a minute or two in front of a door that read 'breakroom'.

"We're here!" Genji announced, tossing his arms into the air. One of the donuts fell out of the box he was holding.

The idea of being in a room with a bunch of people who he one, had never met, two, probably loved his brother, and three, knew exactly what had happened, failed to appeal to Hanzo in the slightest. The fact that Genji thought any of this was a good idea only made Hanzo remember why he put so little trust in his brother's intelligence.

"Are you ready?" Genji asked after Hanzo didn't reply.

Reaching into Genji's box of powdered donuts, Hanzo picked up some of the white powder on his fingertips.

"What are you doing?" Genji followed.

"Making an impression." Hanzo answered as he tapped the powder under his nose.

Swearing, Genji forcefully wiped Hanzo's face clean. Hanzo tried to reach back towards the donut box, but Genji yanked it away. Hanzo's heart pounded unpleasantly as Genji opened the door and shoved him inside.

The room was on the smaller side, about as large as a standard living room. Closest to Hanzo was a couch, aimed towards a projector screen. On the other side of the room was a round wooden table next to a fridge, water cooler, and a coffee machine. There were about half a dozen people in the room, talking around the fridge.

Hanzo already hated all of them.

"Yo!" Genji greeted.

Hanzo let his face fall to stone as everyone turned to face them.

A blond woman in a lab coat stepped forward first. Everyone got into a messy line behind her. Hanzo grit his teeth.

"This is my wife, Angela Ziegler." Genji said as she extended her hand.

"Yes," Hanzo replied, taking it. "I've heard of--"

"Do you have all your shots?" Angela asked.

"I--"

"Come to my office tomorrow. We need to get you registered as one of my patients and organize your check-up schedule."

Angela turned away and left. Considering the fact that Hanzo had attempted to kill her husband at one point, Angela could have been colder.

"She is always like that." Genji chuckled. "Until you get registered."

The next person to step forward was a tiny young woman with some of the longest legs Hanzo had ever seen, at least proportionately. With her short, choppy hair cut and thin frame, she looked more like a pixie than a person.

Hanzo had the itching feeling that he'd seen her somewhere.

Strapped over the chest of her ratty white cotton tank-top was a round, glowing blue plate, about as big as a hand. It took Hanzo just a moment of staring at it to remember where he'd seen her from. Or, at least, where he'd read about her.

"This is Lena Oxton." Genji explained.

Lena didn't offer her hand, but Hanzo bowed after Genji stepped on his toes.

"I believe I may have heard of you." Hanzo greeted. "You were desynchronized?"

"Yep." Lena replied with a frown.

"I've read that your chest piece is a chronal accelerator. I would be interested in learning more."

"Yep."

Giving him a blank look, Lena left in favor of being somewhere else. Hanzo had never been particularly good at evaluating other people's opinions of him, but even he could tell that she didn't like him.

"I suppose she is always like that too?" he muttered to Genji in Japanese.

"Well..."

In any case, it was the last time Hanzo was ever going to try and make a friend.

The next two people came together, a male and a female. They looked young, the male perhaps in his late twenties and the female just out of her teens. And they were both almost as small as Lena had been. Neither of them touched over 5'5.

The male smelled strongly of hemp.

"This is Hana and Lucio." Genji explained, gesturing to the female and male respectfully. "They're famou--"

"Hi, I'm famous." Hana greeted. "My name's D.Va, but you can call me Slap Daddy."

"Thank you. I will not." Hanzo replied.

Hana's accent was distantly South Korean. On her chest, she wore a shirt with a logo of a bunny. Hanzo didn't recognize it, but he assumed it was the symbol of her brand.

"What service do you provide under the name D.Va?" Hanzo asked, wondering if he should consider becoming a partner.

"I play video games and sweaty people throw money at me."

"She got so good at 16 Bit Hero that she pilots a battle mech now." Genji remarked with a tone of unadulterated admiration.

Hanzo turned his gaze to Lucio, who was also wearing a brand logo on his shirt, one of a frog. This logo, Hanzo recognized, although he couldn't place from where.

"What is that brand logo from?" Hanzo asked.

"Oh, I own this brand!" Lucio answered. "This is my music label. I'm surprised you haven't heard of me."

"I tend to stay away from new wave music. I find it politically aggravating."

"...Alright."

Lucio and Hana moved on with a wave goodbye. Hanzo suddenly realized he recognized Lucio's name, as his friend Satya had mentioned a bohemian musician she was at odds with.

The next person to greet Hanzo was significantly taller than everyone else had been, a man who Hanzo clocked in at just a bit over six feet. For the first time since Hanzo had entered the room, he was forced to look up.

"This is Jesse McCree." Genji said. "He's a good friend of mine."

"Howdy." McCree greeted, extending his hand.

McCree looked exactly what Hanzo would have expected a North American to look like had it been about two-hundred years ago. On his body, he wore a pair of light blue jeans and a worn-looking flannel shirt with the collar astray. Strapped to his back, the rim of a stetson poked out from behind him. The scent of fine, sweet tobacco wafted from him, and his skin and facial structure sung the original North American mutt of Mediterranean, Northern European, and Latin American. His hair looked like it had missed a few cuts but his short beard was well trimmed against his handsome, squarish face. He looked about Hanzo's age, late thirties or early forties.

Hanzo got the feeling that he was good at getting what he wanted.

"Hello." said Hanzo.

Taking McCree's right hand for a shake, Hanzo suddenly noticed the other was a different color. Upon further expression, he realized that McCree's left arm was made of silver metal in what was definitely an advanced prosthetic.

"Your arm is inauthentic." Hanzo observed as they parted fingers.

"Cut myself shaving." McCree replied.

His accent was properly western, with a short drawl and a lazy pronunciation that cut the 'g' out of 'shaving'. Hanzo found his voice pleasant to listen to.

"Are you from a time warp?" asked Hanzo.

McCree laughed. Hanzo hadn't been trying to make him.

"Guess you ain't the first man to say that about the South." McCree replied.

McCree's face was distantly wary, as to be expected, but his smile was inviting nonetheless. He gave Hanzo a two finger salute as he moved on.

The last two people Hanzo met was a short climate scientist named Mei and a tall, well built woman named Fareeha who Hanzo was informed was Ana Amari's daughter.

Neither of them were particularly friendly.

"Why did you make me do this?" Hanzo whispered to Genji.

"Icebreaker time!" Genji yelled, ignoring him.

Hanzo did his best not to physically stomp on his brothers toes as the group formed a messy circle. He wasn't sure if Genji was intentionally trying to piss him off or not. In any case, Hanzo ended up with Genji to his left and McCree to his right.

"Very good." Genji followed, clapping his hands with a metallic clink. "Does anyone have the cards?"

"I thought you had the cards." Angela replied.

"I don't have pockets."

"We'll just have to make up the questions."

"How about everyone just say a little bit about where you're from, and something about yourself?"

"Can I go first?" Lena asked.

"Yes." Genji replied. "We will go clockwise from here."

"My name is Lena Oxton, I'm from London. I--"

Hanzo immediately stopped listening, bored and spiteful. He continued to not listen as the question came to Fareeha, Hana, and Mei, as it wasn't like he would have remembered any of the information anyway.

"...causing all my friends to die." Mei finished, wiping her eyes.

Hanzo was forced to zone back in when Genji nudged him, right as Lucio finished. The question came to McCree.

"My names's Jesse, I uh..." McCree started. "I'm from the States."

McCree paused for a moment to think.

"I like to commit tax fraud." he followed with a shrug.

The room snickered. Hanzo wondered if McCree actually enjoyed committing tax fraud.

Hanzo was nudged again. He looked up to realize it was his turn.

"Oh." said Hanzo. "What was the question?"

Genji sighed just loud enough for Hanzo to hear.

"Tell us where you're from and something about yourself." Genji replied.

Even when he was in a good mood, Hanzo had always had a difficult time answering vague, open-ended questions. Considering how long they'd known each other for, Genji should have known better.

"Japan." Hanzo answered before searching his brain for a fact about himself that would be relevant to Overwatch. "And I...am good at killing people."

Genji didn't look satisfied.

"Your turn." Hanzo quickly followed.

Luckily, Genji could never turn down an opportunity to talk about himself, and Hanzo was saved from having to say anything else. After Genji's five minute long rags to riches monologue, Angela went, and the ice-breaker challenge was through.

Once again, Hanzo thought about lying down.

"Next question!" Genji announced. "Does anyone have any ideas?"

Inwardly, Hanzo groaned in resentment.

"I got one." Lena replied, tossing up her hand. "How about, 'What flavor of ice-cream do you think most represents your personality?'"

"Oh, I like that one!" said Mei.

"Can we go counter clockwise this time?" Genji asked.

"Why?" Hanzo asked back through grit teeth. "Why would we do that?"

"No reason."

This time, Fareeha went first.

Even if Hanzo had cared at all about these people's life stories, it irritated him to no end whenever people tried to represent their entire personalities in a single word. Especially when that word had to be restricted to a pool of words used to describe flavors of dessert. Hanzo supposed that information could potentially be gained from the knowledge of how each person interpreted themselves via ice-cream flavors, but even so, there was no pre-agreed upon system of conversion for personality into a flavor. Hanzo's knowledge that Mei thought of herself as a green tea flavor person meant nothing without him understanding her personal reasoning for it. The way Hanzo saw it, it would have been just as efficient to shout random syllables at each other and flush time directly down the toilet.

Hanzo nearly yelped as Genji nudged him.

"Chocolate." Hanzo blurted.

"Why?" Genji asked.

"I chose arbitrarily."

Had Hanzo not been standing so close, he would have missed Genji's tiny noise of frustration.

"I have a question I'd like to do." Mei said.

"Yes?" asked Genji.

"What's your biggest fear?"

"Mad deep." Lucio replied.

Hanzo silently groaned again. He figured he'd be able to handle himself as long as no one gave the void as an answer.

Angela raised her hand.

"I'd like to go first." she said, looking at Hanzo. "My worst fear is new recruits not getting registered."

Lucio said spiders after a solid minute of trying to decide between spiders and angler fish. Hanzo could not imagine why they were still continuing with such an unproductive activity. Perhaps he needed to start being openly rude, as his natural lack of charisma didn't seem to be working.

"Your turn, Mei." Genji called.

"Oh" Mei replied. "Losing all of you."

Lena, Hana, and Lucio 'awwwed'.

"Having too much time on my hands." Lena answered next.

"Why's that?" asked Fareeha.

"Whenever I have too much time, I start to think about how our whole solar system might just be a tiny speck in some giant alien's eyelashes and nothing really matters...and all that."

"Lena's right." said Lucio. "I want to change my answer to the void."

Hanzo's eyebrow twitched.

"Yeah, it's better not to think sometimes." Lena replied. "Otherwise you end up like one of those weird Gothic poets who talks about death."

Lena's voice had dropped to a lower octave as if she was telling a horror tale around a campfire.

"Is there a reason you find this frightening?" Hanzo asked, unable to help himself.

Hanzo felt Genji stiffen next to him as everyone raised an eyebrow in their direction.

"...What are you on about, mate?" Lena asked.

"I fail to understand why you would consider this frightening. So I asked."

"People find the notion of their smallness to be frightening." Genji explained quietly. "Or that some things have no meaning. It is not uncommon."

"And I find it unethical to let such a nonsensical fear sacrifice potential productivity. Could you even conceive of a small universe with predetermined value? It would be impossible."

Along with everyone else, Lena and Fareeha narrowed their eyes. Although his question was grounded in irritation, Hanzo hoped they hadn't taken it as rhetorical. Hanzo had been wondering since age six why people found absurdism anything more or anything less than a neutral fact of life.

"Well, uh," Fareeha started, "what's your biggest fear?"

"Realistically, or hypothetically?" asked Hanzo.

"Hypothetically."

Hanzo thought to himself for a moment so that he could answer the question honestly. He supposed he found it somewhat intriguing.

"Eternal torture." Hanzo answered correctly.

"What's realistically?" Hana asked.

"However much torture as is possible within the laws of physics."

Several pairs of eyes turned towards Hanzo and blinked.

"Your turn." Hanzo told McCree.

"Really big ants." McCree replied.

The response of laughter from the room was immediate. Hanzo was unsure of what to do.

"I've got another one." Genji managed once the laughter died down. "What is--"

"No you don't." Hanzo replied.

Genji's eyes narrowed.

"Yes I do." he stated.

"Yatte iru koto o yamete."

"Onegai."

"Īe."

Everyone's expressions began to shift to ones of intense discomfort. The only thing the sight made Hanzo feel was catharsis.

"Domo arigato." Hanzo said, giving a bow. The moment he rose back up, Hanzo turned on his heels and left, closing the door behind him.

The relief he felt just from passing through the doorway was overwhelming. He still didn't know where to go to find where his room was, but he was fine with wandering around until he found it. Just as long as he didn't run into anyone.

Unfortunately, he didn't get very far before hearing the sounds of his brother's footsteps following. Refusing to bend, Hanzo continued on his way so that Genji would have to jog.

"Quarters are that way." Genji said, pointing in the opposite direction.

Hanzo grunted as he took the advice, turning on his heels and taking off once again. Genji followed.

They walked through Watchpoint in complete silence, aside from the few other times Genji gave instructions. Hanzo would have walked passed his front door had Genji not stopped him.

"This is your door." Genji said as he pointed to a tiny plaque next to the door engraved with Hanzo's kanji.

"Thank you." Hanzo replied.

Hanzo examined the door. It was a simple mechanical door, made of smooth, silver metal. Next to it was a keypad.

"What is the code?" asked Hanzo.

Genji didn't reply. Hanzo looked over to see that his eyes were heavy with irritation.

"You are a child." Genji said.

Turning all the way towards Genji, Hanzo narrowed his eyes and brought as much air into his chest as he could manage.

"I am not going to speak to anyone while I'm here." Hanzo explained calmly. "I am not going to fraternize. I'm here for one reason, and that is because you asked."

Sighing, Genji flashed Hanzo an eye roll.

"It would be mutually beneficial for you not to do this again." Hanzo followed.

"Four, seven, two, five." Genji muttered before turning on his heels.

With grit teeth, Hanzo punched the code into the pad to hear a tiny click. He twisted the knob, and the door fell open. He considered thanking Genji but saw he was already halfway down the hall.

Hanzo closed the door behind himself and looked around.

The room was more than he could have asked for, and well more than he felt he deserved. The walls were lofty and traditionally tatami, as was the theme of the whole place. He'd been provided some high quality, traditional furniture that was painfully similar to what he'd had growing up. The wall farthest from him sported a window that stretched from almost the ceiling to the floor and looked over the Atlantic Ocean. Attached to the living room was a small, open kitchenette.

Hanzo set off to explore the rest of his quarters. He found they weren't particularly large, with just a bathroom, a bedroom with a tatami sleeping mat, and the living room he'd already seen, but that was far from a bad thing. He'd long since come to loathe living in a palace.

His bow and bags had been placed on the couch. After discovering that he'd been given a computer, Hanzo decided that the room was too much. He had to get out.

Bringing only his flask, Hanzo took off into the grounds of Gibraltar as silently as he could manage.

He quickly found a good spot on top of a radar array building, overlooking the ocean as the sun began to set. Not only was the view something to marvel at, but most of the staircases to the top of the building were blocked off by large boxes or security doors, meaning that no one without flight or advanced climbing skills could join him. A few people walked by on ground level, and Hanzo hid behind the radar tower as they did.

Although he loathed himself for taking a break when there was so much work to be done, he supposed it was in his best interest to avoid having a nervous breakdown on his first day.

Perhaps twenty minutes of drinking passed before Hanzo heard the grunt of another person, frighteningly close.

Ears perking up, Hanzo recognized that the sound had come from below his feet. He leaned over the edge to see that glued halfway up the wall of the radar array was a brown haired man with a hat strapped to his back and a red serape strapped to his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" Hanzo asked.

McCree looked up, flashing his face. His expression was calm, but from the way his right hand shook against the metal bar he was grabbing, Hanzo got the feeling he was exhausted. Hanzo wondered for a moment how he'd managed to even get as far as he did before he remembered the strip of solid metal tubes up the side of the radar array that reached two thirds of the way up the top.

"Joining you." McCree replied, moving his metal hand to grab a higher bar.

Hanzo scoffed.

"You appear to be making no progress." he noted.

"Yeah, well."

McCree was grabbing onto the last metal bar of the strip. Above him, the stone of the wall jutted out a few inches forward in a small lip that only an experienced climber could conquer.

The problem would solve itself.

"You could help me." McCree offered.

"I will not." Hanzo replied.

"Why not?"

"I want you to go away."

"Guess I'll have to do it myself."

Despite his steady nature, McCree didn't make a grab for the smooth stone of the lip, presumably knowing it was pointless. Hanzo burning with intense irritation.

"Would you like a drink?" Hanzo asked, pointing to the gourd at his hip.

"Reckon I would." McCree replied as his face perked up.

Grabbing his gourd, Hanzo poured out the remainder of his sake onto McCree's head. There were only five or so feet under McCree so he would most likely be alright if he fell. But it turned out not to matter, as he managed to hang on with only a yelp and a sputter.

"Ain't going nowhere." McCree said as he gestured to the metal hand that had locked to the top bar.

He had a point. McCree could probably hang from his arm all day. However, Hanzo was confused as to why McCree would want to.

"Why are you doing this?" Hanzo asked.

McCree didn't respond. Using his free hand, he undid his belt buckle and slipped it out of his belt loops. Hanzo watched in utter confusion as McCree then took off his jeans, and then in a bit less confusion as McCree used his hand and teeth to join his pants and belt together in a square knot. Grunting, McCree pulled up on his metal arm and quickly tossed his makeshift rope forward, aiming at the legs of the radar tower.

It took McCree three tries to get the buckle at the end of the rope to thread through the closest leg of the tower. Hanzo supposed he could have unstuck it, but he found himself wondering what would happen if the situation concluded naturally. McCree grunted again as he fed in slack until the buckle was dangling in front of him.

It worked. McCree managed to pull himself up by grabbing both ends of the rope and bracing his feet against the wall. When he got to the top, he toppled over without a word.

McCree smelled very strongly of alcohol, although Hanzo supposed that was his own fault. His bangs were plastered to his forehead with the stuff, and a few sections of his shirt were soaked.

"Thanks for the drink." said McCree as he got to his feet. "Real tasty."

"You're very welcome." Hanzo replied as McCree went to retrieve his belt and jeans.

Hanzo watched in silence as McCree put them back on. He only realized at that moment that McCree wasn't wearing any shoes.

"Heard it makes climbing easier." McCree remarked when he caught Hanzo staring at his bare feet.

"It is dependent on the shoes. Why are you here?"

McCree turned over his shoulder to look Hanzo in the eyes. Hanzo refused to back down his gaze.

"Wanted to join you." McCree said.

"And I would like you to leave." Hanzo replied.

"How about we both take a seat?"

"How about you leave?"

McCree took a seat. Hanzo looked down over the edge and wondered if he could jump down without injury.

"Here's what we're gonna do." McCree explained. "I'm going to sit with you until the sun sets, and then I'll leave. After that, you ain't gotta talk to me again. Ever."

Hanzo's mouth twisted to the side as he considered McCree's words. The sunset looked like it couldn't have had more than twenty minutes left in it.

"I will not make the experience pleasant." Hanzo replied.

"Give it your worst. Mind if I smoke?"

McCree pulled out a thin cigar. Hanzo grunted that he didn't, and McCree lit the thing with a pocket lighter.

"How does a yokel like you afford tobacco like that?" asked Hanzo.

"I buy in bulk."

"Hmm."

Hanzo sat.

"What do you wish to discuss?" he asked once he'd positioned himself properly.

"Don't know." McCree replied. "How about I tell you a little about myself, and then you tell me a little about yourself?"

"You will not like me."

"We'll get there when we get there."

Although he felt it was only going to prolong the inevitable, Hanzo didn't protest.

"So." McCree started, stretching his legs over the edge. "My name's Jesse. I work for Overwatch. I'm thirty-nine. I'm a wanted felon. And I like apple pie, fixing problems, and talking to people."

"And you are from North America?" Hanzo asked.

"Yeah. New Mexico."

"Describe it to me."

"Well, I like it. It's a little backwater, least where I'm from. But people there are kind. "

"What else?"

"It's a swing state, so it gets a little messy every four years. But folks there still take care of each other."

Hanzo tried to picture it. It was not a flattering image.

"Tell me." Hanzo started. "Were your parents first or second cousins?"

"Neither. We didn't have the money for all that upper-class shit."

After a half second of wide-eyed shock, Hanzo burst into laughter. He did his best to straighten himself with his hands to avoid folding over the edge of the radar array.

"Keep it in the family, huh?" McCree followed, the corners of his mouth soft.

"My grandmother was Vietnamese." Hanzo lied.

McCree took a moment to readjust his weight. Hanzo began to wonder how much genetic diversity there really was in the Shimada family.

"I'm getting the feeling you ain't met someone like me before." said McCree.

"A misguided assumption." Hanzo replied. "My country has its fair share of bumpkins."

"You're a hoot."

"They are universal, don't you think?"

"Hey, so are oligarchs."

"There is no need to get political."

McCree face broke wide with a smile.

"That's a lotta insults outta one man." he replied.

"People tend to be insulted by my words regardless of my intentions." Hanzo admitted. "So why not?"

"Fair enough. Got any jokes that ain't about the poor?"

"Perhaps if I learn what other demographics you belong to, I can widen my repertoire."

Hanzo didn't realized how much his words had sounded like an invitation until after they had left his mouth.

"I'll keep that in mind, pardner. In the meantime, why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

Hanzo had always hated to hear those words. Even when he was enjoying himself, he found open-ended questions to be horribly intimidating.

"I don't know what to say." Hanzo answered.

"What do you like?" asked McCree.

"...I like to find reason critically. I like to strategize."

"Anything you like to do that ain't just a work ethic?"

"What do you mean?"

"What's something you like to do that's just for your own pleasure?"

Hanzo didn't really understand the question, but he did his best to consider it and answer it honestly.

"I like to copulate." Hanzo replied.

McCree coughed on his cigar.

"Anything else?" McCree asked.

"I like to masturbate."

McCree coughed again. There must have been a stray wind.

"Well, ain't got much else to go on." he said as he wiped his mouth of ash. "What do you like about--uh--masturbating?"

"It is pleasurable and I find it to increase my abilities to be productive." Hanzo answered. "However, I usually refrain from allowing myself, as although I know I'll be more competent if I climax, I worry I won't be quite competent enough to regain the time I lost doing so."

"I'm as concerned to hear that as I am considered that you felt the need to tell me."

Hanzo chuckled with the sudden realization he was oversharing.

"Can I ask you something else?" McCree followed.

"What is it?" asked Hanzo.

"What's your name?"

"Have you already forgotten my name?"

"No. Just thought you might want a proper introduction."

Hanzo scoffed.

"Fine." he said. "My name is Shimada Hanzo. Do with it what you will."

"Alright." McCree replied. "Tell me, Shimada Hanzo. What do you want out of life?"

With a question so vague, Hanzo was forced to think long and hard again.

"I've always found myself frustrated with the inhibition and chaos of society." Hanzo answered. "I would like to add some social order."

"Alright. I can understand that."

A moment passed before Hanzo realized he should probably ask the question back.

"And what do you desire?" he questioned.

Still looking over the edge, McCree raised his left eyebrow.

"If I'm gonna answer that question the same way you did," McCree started, "I reckon I'd like to help people, uh, help each other."

"What do you mean by that?" Hanzo asked.

"Well, I think society works best when everybody's in it for the whole team."

"I agree completely."

"Really now?"

"Why are you surprised?"

McCree turned his head towards Hanzo.

"Well, forgive me, but you are a rich man, and all that." said McCree.

"I am no longer. But either way, I fail to understand what that has to do with anything."

The conversation lulled, just for a moment as McCree took a draw and blew out the smoke into the darkness.

"I don't think men get rich by looking out for each other." he answered.

"Huh." Hanzo laughed.

"What?"

"I could not agree less."

"Why not?"

"I hate the poor."

Jesse burst out laughing.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

"Just ain't never heard nobody say that out loud before." McCree replied.

”To be clear, I do not consider poor people to be inherently worse creatures.” said Hanzo. “Just creatures who happen onto selfish, inferior values.”

"You a fan of the rich?"

"I hate the rich. But less so."

"Why's that?"

"The masses have no self-organizational skills whatsoever. Always standing in clumps on the sidewalk? Living their lives by no code of ethics? At least...some fraction of the powerful attempt to bring about structure."

"Hmm."

McCree's tone was playful, but negating nonetheless.

"I take it you do not agree?" Hanzo pressed.

"I mean, I believe the exact opposite of what you just said, so I guess I don't." McCree replied.

"You believe we should live in chaos?"

"Of a sort. I reckon people act their best when they got control over their lives."

Hanzo couldn't help but laugh a little at the absurdity of McCree's statement, although he hoped it wouldn't be taken as rude.

"Are you an anarchist?" asked Hanzo.

"More of a...an anti-federalist." McCree answered.

"Do you even know what federalism is?"

"A strong, central form of government where every regulation comes from the same place."

Hanzo scoffed again. McCree's answer was correct.

"And why don't you like that?" Hanzo asked.

"Constitutionalism. Bureaucracy. Authoritarianism." McCree replied, counting on his fingers. "Don't think Florida should be governed the same way as New York. Uh, I think it's a footstool to totalitarianism. I reckon nasty things happen when rules get made underground. I like it when the rules get made in front of my eyes. And I ain't big on any system that lets one man have too much--"

"How would you feel if I told you I felt the polar opposite about each individual point you've named?"

"I'd get over it."

"Your words imply you not only think it best, but you also believe humans to be capable of...organizing themselves?"

"I do."

"How?"

"Well, I think people are good. For the most part."

Hanzo supposed it wasn't McCree's fault he was wrong.

"And why do you believe _that?"_ Hanzo asked.

"Like I said." McCree replied. "Where I came from, folks helped each other out."

"I refuse to accept anecdotal evidence."

"And why's that?"

"High probability of being an outlier."

McCree shook his head.

"Ok, fine." said McCree. "How about this. I think they make sense."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"They do stuff that makes sense. If you think about things from their perspective. You know?"

Hanzo didn't know, although he got the feeling the heart of their disagreement fell less on political theory and more on fundamental philosophies.

"At the very least," Hanzo replied, "I can applaud you for having intellectual justification."

"Think I'll take that as a compliment."

"Do as you wish."

Hanzo fell silent as McCree took another draw from his cigar.

"What don't you like about them?" McCree asked once he'd finished. "People, I mean?"

This time, it didn't take Hanzo very long to think of an answer.

"They are...incompetent." Hanzo started. "They lust for blood and anarchy. They embrace their ignorance and go to great lengths to preserve it. I have seen much evidence that they will not look out for each other unless they are forced to."

"Hmm." McCree hummed.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I just think you're a little naive."

Hanzo's mouth nearly came undone.

"You believe me to be naive?" he replied. "You are the one who is naive."

McCree chuckled.

After the sound of McCree's quiet laughter tapered off, silence fell. Although it was uncomfortable, it was less uncomfortable than Hanzo would have expected.

"Why did you come up here?" Hanzo finally asked.

McCree chewed on the end of his cigar for a moment before responding.

"I liked what you said." he answered. "You said it like a jackass, but I liked what you said."

"What did I say?"

"About life. How you didn't understand why people care so much that their ain't no...well, I dunno. Not sure I'd say God, as I reckon he could probably still exist in some sense. More..."

"Objectivism?"

"Yeah. I agree. I used to argue with my mama about that kinda stuff."

"What argument?"

"Well, when I started to think a little more about life, I realized that good and evil ain't really...real. But that don't mean they're not real, you know?"

Hanzo hadn't really been thinking of good and evil, but strangely enough, he did feel like he knew.

"So I told my mama about it," McCree continued, "that life don't really got no, uh, natural--"

"Inherent?" Hanzo offered.

"--inherent moral order."

"And what did she say?"

"She asked me if I also thought we should all be shooting each other in the street and shitting on the bible."

"Yes, I've had similar experiences with people assuming cynicism where I do not believe it to be warranted." Hanzo replied. "While trying to speak about both the lack of objective morality and the lack of cosmic order regarding morality's distribution."

Cigar hanging from his mouth, McCree turned to Hanzo with an expression close to excitement.

"Yeah!" he replied. "Yeah. That's the whole point. It ain't gonna dispense itself. I don't mind it being my responsibility to figure out what it means to me and how to help people with it."

McCree took another draw.

"Wildly prefer it, to be honest." he finished.

Hanzo got the feeling McCree wasn't fond of authority.

"Sorry, I'm talking to much." said McCree. "What do you think?"

"I agree with your conclusion. But truthfully, I don't concern myself much as concepts such as good and evil." Hanzo replied. "To me, there is only efficiency, and incompetence."

McCree nodded and took out a flash from his belt loop.

"I'll drink to that, pardner." he said as he tossed some alcohol loosely at his face.

It wasn't just the liqueur that spilled into Jesse's beard that caused Hanzo to laugh. With a smile, he turned away.

"What?" McCree asked.

"Your reasoning." Hanzo answered. "I had thought you'd come up here to judge if I was a threat."

"A man can come up to do two things."

Hanzo supposed McCree's words were fair.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

"What's that supposed to mean?" McCree replied.

"You are Genji's friend, are you not?"

"You asking if I know you tried to kill your brother?"

"Yes."

"Yeah, I know."

"And you would still wish to approach me?"

With a little sigh, McCree shook his head.

"Look." McCree started. "What you did to your brother ain't none of my business."

"And how do you justify that?"

"I ain't never grown up in the Yakuza before. For all I know, I would've done worse. I might've killed...two brothers."

Hanzo lifted the corner of his mouth with amusement.

"Hmm." he replied.

"What?" asked McCree.

"You must make a terrible soldier."

"I get by."

Blue and black fell over them as the last sliver of the sun disappeared behind the water. All too suddenly, Hanzo remembered their deal.

"Guess that's that, pardner." McCree said as he got his feet.

The note of disappointment that sparked in Hanzo's chest surprised him.

"Mhm." Hanzo replied.

"But, uh, one more thing."

Reaching for his hip, McCree pulled out a metal flask. He opened the top, and the scent of cheap whiskey wafted out.

"Unsophisticated taste." Hanzo noted.

With a tip of his hand, McCree emptied the bottle over Hanzo's head. Hanzo resisted the urge to yelp as the cold liquid washed over him, ruining his hair and dripping into his clothing.

"How do you feel?" McCree asked once he was done.

"Uncomfortable." answered Hanzo.

Smiling to himself, McCree unwrapped the serape from himself and tossed it over Hanzo's shoulders. Although cutting out the cold wind wasn't the garment's original purpose, it did its job. Hanzo instantly felt better.

"See how much nicer things are when we help each other?" McCree asked.

Hanzo grunted.

"See you around." McCree followed as he left.

McCree quickly slipped out a sight. Hanzo heard a few noises of physical exertion, followed by the smack of feet against the ground. He could only assume that McCree had climbed over one of the barricades.

Hanzo supposed that the meeting could have gone worse.


	2. nose candy

_April 15th, 2077_

Hanzo could only justify sitting on the ground for a few minutes before deciding that something had to be done. Quickly, he got to his feet and went straight out the door.

He couldn't see anyone in the breakroom or in the halls, but did manage to find every senior staff member but Ana in the meeting room after barging into it without knocking.

"Oh, Hanzo found out." Angela whispered to Winston.

"We don't know anything." Morrison cut in before Hanzo could even open his mouth.

"You know nothing?" Hanzo replied.

"We know he was last seen in Honduras. He and your brother got ambushed by some Talon troops. Genji got away, and he didn't. That's all we know."

"You've not heard from Talon?"

"Not a word."

"What is your plan?"

The four-way glance of uncertainty shared by everyone to each other told Hanzo all he needed to know.

"So you have no plan." he stated. "Very well. I will take off on my own."

To Hanzo's surprise, Hanzo was stopped by no one as he took off towards the door.

"Are you going to the drop ships?" asked Morrison.

"Yes."

"All of the drop ships are being used to look for McCree."

"They are?"

"Yeah, and they aren't gonna find them."

"Morrison!" Angela scolded.

Without another word, Hanzo took off for the loading dock just to make sure Morrison was telling the truth. He quickly found that every ship was gone.

For a few moments, he considered going AWOL, stealing a car, and driving to South America to find Jesse. However, his plan was quickly stomped when he realized how stupid it was. Maybe he could hire someone. He'd made enough money to humor the idea, but quickly scrapped after thinking of all the ways it would likely backfire.

The notion that there was truly nothing he could do was not an easy one to swallow, but it was one he had to nonetheless.

* * *

* * *

_January 2nd, 2076_

Winston did end up sending Hanzo the information about where to be for his first mission as promised. Which was how Hanzo found himself outside of Jack Morrison's office door the following day at one in the afternoon.

He knocked.

"Come in!" called a voice from the other side of the door.

Hanzo opened the door.

Jack Morrison's office was about the same size as Winston's had been, and it had the same blue color theme, but the similarities stopped there. Plastered across all three of the walls Hanzo could see were hundreds of metals and certificates of militant achievements. Morrison himself sat behind a plain wooden desk, sifting through papers. His hair was nearly white, although he only looked like he was in his sixties, so Hanzo assumed he must have been blonde. His face was handsome enough despite the old slashes, but he still managed to be so boring to look at that Hanzo had to struggle to keep his eyes focused.

Including Morrison, the only two objects in the room that didn't look like they'd come directly from the military was a bronze bust of Theodore Roosevelt and a poster for a war movie Hanzo didn't recognized, titled _Nuke or Get Nuked_.

"Shimada?" Morrison asked, looking up from his desk. "Come have a seat."

Hanzo stepped forward and took a seat in the hard wicker chair that had been provided, just a foot from Morrison's desk. He only felt a little uncomfortable as Morrison stared him down with half slit eyes.

"Have we ever met?" asked Morrison.

"I don't believe so." Hanzo answered.

"...Like, a real long time ago?"

"How long?"

"Thirty years?"

"I would have been a child."

"Guess so. Forget that I asked."

Hanzo was unsure how to reply as Morrison opened a drawer to his left and reached inside to sift around.

"Here we go." Morrison said as he pulled out a few sheets of paper. "Mission br--"

Morrison was cut off with a loud clatter. It took Hanzo a moment to realize that the sound was from a case of medals that had fallen out with the papers. Sighing, Morrison leaned over to pick them up.

"Are those from NATO?" Hanzo asked, examining the case. There were about ten medals featured in the case, but none of them looked Overwatch related.

"Yeah." Morrison replied, pointing to the first in the set. "I got this one back in the battle of Istanbul. Lost an ear that day. Had to get it sewn back on, although I'm not sure it was the same ear I started with."

"...Ah."

Morrison pointed to the next medal. It was at that moment that Hanzo realized he'd made a huge mistake.

"And I got this one in Cairo for reattaching my own arm after it'd been ripped off." Morrison continued. "Learned a lot that day."

"Interesting."

"This one, I got in Tokyo for reattaching the leg of my Colonel with nothing but my wits and my own unattached arm. I made a lot of tough calls that day, but I think they were the right ones."

Hanzo began to wonder if there was an end to this.

"You are a very decorated man." he replied.

Morrison's face turned to stone. With a scoff, he tossed the medals over his shoulder. They landed squarely in the trash can.

"Decoration isn't everything, son." Morrison said sadly. "Sometimes, war doesn't pay."

"I--"

"They say you're gonna change the world, and then you end up pumped full of chemicals, covered in blood you can't wash off. I learned that the hard way. As you will, in due time."

"I am forty--"

"If there's one thing you need to know about me, it's that I don't play by the rules anymore."

Hanzo waited for a few seconds to see if Morrison was done talking.

"What rules do you play by?" Hanzo asked.

"My own."

"What are your rules?"

"You know what? I'm glad you asked."

Morrison reached under the table and pulled out a hardback novel the size of a telephone book. He dropped it on the table with a loud thump before opening it to the first page.

"Number one." Morrison started. "Always listen to your commander. No matter what."

Hanzo was struck with the sudden suspicion that Morrison didn't have as much power as he thought he had.

"Number two. Remember the bigger picture. We all have a goal, and we're going to complete that goal at all costs. No detours, no moral hang ups, and no personal interests. You're from the Yakuza, you can understand that, correct?"

"I suppose so."

"Number three. Get your goddamn mission reports in on time. And yes, you better believe penmanship counts."

Morrison closed the book.

"We're running out of time, but I'll email you the rest." he finished. "In the meantime, do you need any clarification on anything?"

Hanzo had the distant feeling that Morrison's question had been rhetorical, but he opened his mouth to reply nonetheless.

"Yes." Hanzo stated. "How do your rules differ from any other of militant intent?"

"These one’s got my name on them. Any other questions?"

"...No."

"Good. Let's talk about your first assignment."

Reaching forward, Morrison grabbed the papers he'd originally fished out of the drawer and forgotten about. Hanzo watched as Morrison quickly scanned the paper.

"We're gonna be sending you out to Equador today for a quick negotiation." said Morrison. "Should be fast, you'll be back by dinner."

"Negotiation?" Hanzo asked.

"Yeah. You've got plenty of experience with mob negotiation, don't you?"

"I do."

"Don't worry, we're not gonna send you out alone. Have you met agent McCree?"

"Only briefly."

"He's meeting us by the drop ships. But first, there's a few things you should probably know."

Hanzo made a noise of question. Morrison leaned forward ever so slightly, like he was about to tell a secret.

"McCree's extremely well trained." Morrison started. "He's a crack shot and a great footman and he's got plenty of experience with kingpins."

"...But?" asked Hanzo.

"But he's also a complete and total moron."

"What do you mean?"

"He has no regard for authority, legality, or the bigger picture. If he sees a puppy get kicked, it's enough for him to improvise."

Hanzo said nothing.

"You, however, seem a little more reasonable than that." Morrison continued. "So I want you to make sure he stays in line."

Hanzo didn't think it was the best time to mention that although he was a firm believer in authority and regulation, he felt no loyalty to any system he failed to find competent. He didn't have a strong opinion on Overwatch yet, but he had a feeling he wasn't going to care for it.

"I will do my best." Hanzo replied.

"Good."

Morrison pressed a few buttons on the phone-like device on his desk. A buzzing sound rang out shortly.

"Athena, tell McCree to put his damn pants on and meet us at the drop ships." Morrison requested.

 _"Very well, sir_." replied a warm but clearly automated female voice.

With a groan and a sharp crack of his spine, Morrison stood and urged Hanzo to do the same. Hanzo complied and followed him out the door.

"The ships aren't too far away, just a couple minutes." said Morrison. "But in the meantime..."

Morrison reached into his pocket and pulled out two plastic packets. Unfortunately, his wallet fell out onto the floor as his hand left his pocket.

"Whoops." Morrison muttered as he bent over to pick up his wallet.

Taped to the front of Morrison's wallet was a picture of a man Hanzo didn't recognize. Hanzo thought it best not to ask who it was.

"This is Gabriel Reyes." Morrison said to Hanzo as he pointed to the picture.

"Uhuh." Hanzo hummed.

"He's the leader of Talon. He used to work for Overwatch. Now he doesn't."

"Mmh."

"The thought of filling him up with eighteen rounds of bullets and stabbing at his corpse is the only thing that keeps me going these days."

Out of ways to respond, Hanzo nodded thoughtlessly.

"I don't think you understand what I would do to bring that rat bastard down." Morrison followed.

"It would be strange if I did." Hanzo replied.

"I would do _anything_."

"What was it you were going to be giving me something?"

"Oh yeah. Here's some junk to help you out."

Hanzo was handed two small plastic packets. As they passed from the hallway and into the open air, he examined the wrapping to see they were decorated with the white and orange Overwatch logo.

"What's this?" asked Hanzo.

"That one's your communicator." Morrison answered.

Hanzo tore open the plastic to reveal nickel-sized piece of paper with two minuscule peach-colored stickers, each about the size of a ladybug. When Hanzo looked at them next to his hand, he realized they were exactly his skin tone.

"How do I apply them?" he asked.

"Stick them on your ear lobes. They also double as mufflers. As soon as a gunshot rings out, they'll create a temporary particle field to block the noise from your ear canals."

Hanzo pulled the stickers from his sheet and attached them to his ear lobes. He felt a tiny pinch as they melded into his flesh.

"Tap your ear lobe once to access the main channel or to reply to a message." Morrison followed. "That's all you need to know for now."

"Should I ever remove them?"

"Nah, they won't come out in the bath."

Hanzo supposed he couldn't even feel them at all anymore. Gingerly, he touched his right lobe before opening the other packet.

Inside was a small chip.

"Jam that into the back of your neck." said Morrison.

Hanzo blinked.

"It's not a tracker." Morrison followed. "Or a camera."

"What is it?" Hanzo asked.

"It lets us erase a few days of your memory if you see something traumatizing so that we can keep you as an agent and you don't have to get shell shocked. Though we've only ever had to use them a few times, so it probably won't come up."

Although Hanzo was sure it was also a camera, he knew there probably wasn't much he could do about it. Carefully, he positioned it against his neck.

"Actually," Morrison cut in, "it probably needs some precision. Let me do it."

There was only a burning pinch as Morrison pushed the chip into Hanzo's neck. After Morrison had moved his hand away, the ships had come into view.

There were about half a dozen drop ships, each an uninteresting shape and an uninteresting shade of grey. They all sat in a line along the open concrete clearing. Hanzo was quick to notice McCree leaning against the side of the one on the end. Upon noticing him in return, McCree gave him another tiny two finger salute.

Hanzo followed Morrison to the side of the ship. Morrison urged him inside along with McCree, and the door closed behind them with a clunk and a hiss.

The inside of the ship was as standard as the outside. The belly of the ship opened into an area with almost half as much open space as Hanzo's new living room. Opposite to the large entrance and exit door was a row of simple seats the same grey as the interior and exterior. At one end of the ship, Hanzo saw a bathroom, and at the other, the door to the cockpit. Lastly, a long row of clothing and equipment lined the wall next to the door.

McCree took a seat in the front row. Hanzo sat besides him.

"Now that I have both you boys here, let's get on with the intel." said Morrison, situating himself in front of them.

"Did he throw his medals in the trash yet?" McCree asked Hanzo.

Morrison's jaw went dangerously rigid, but McCree seemed unaffected. For a moment, Morrison looked like he might reply, but just shook his head and sifted through his clipboard.

"This is Jeremías Valerio." Morrison said as held up a large photo.

Hanzo examined the photo. It featured a Latin American man in a lavish black suit and a pair of reflective sports shades stepping into the driver's side of an old fashioned bright red Lamborghini. He was a rather plain looking man, and the only things Hanzo could find that was distinctive about his face and body were the large collection of silver rings on his fingers, and the shiny layer of sweat that coated his forehead and what Hanzo could see of his neck.

"I got a question." McCree stated, lifting his hand up.

"Is your question that he looks like a tool?" Morrison asked.

McCree put his hand down.

"What are we doing with him?" asked Hanzo.

"Great question. You two are going to be collecting two-hundred pounds of cocaine for ten thousand credits."

Hanzo felt the air next to him shift as McCree slowly crossed his arms and slumped back in his chair.

"...Uhuh." McCree replied.

"It's for science, McCree! Winston needs to give it to his friends so they can coke up a bunch of rats and watch them bump into each other."

There was a sudden shaking sensation and a moment of weightlessness. It took Hanzo a moment too long to realize they'd taken off.

"You gonna sell the extra again?" asked McCree.

Morrison rubbed his forehead.

"If there's any left over, we won't sell it." he replied. "Promise. We'll just add it to our back-up doping pile."

"Thought Angela got rid of the back-up doping pile."

"Just get the goddamn coke so that I don't fire your ass."

McCree still didn't look convinced, but he sighed in defeat nonetheless.

"Fine." said McCree.

"Very good." Morrison replied as his face relaxed. "Let's move onto clothes."

Morrison pointed to the racks of clothing along the side of the ship as he continued with his instructions.

"You two are going for casual." Morrsion explained. "Even though it's winter, it's pretty warm there. Make sure the shirt you choose is light, because you're both gonna be wearing something on the outside to conceal your weapons."

Hanzo nodded and McCree took his hat off. They both took a stand.

The floor under Hanzo's feet was only a bit unpredictable as he searched the clothing racks for something in his size, eventually settling on a red polo and some jeans that felt more than a little foreign on his legs.

"Hide your hair with this." Morrison instructed, handing Hanzo a baseball cap.

Hanzo grit his teeth but complied. He couldn't help but feel envious of McCree, who looked at home in jeans and a light flannel. Although he did seem a little sad to be so far away from his hat.

"Looking good there, pardner." McCree said as they put on their shoes. "Can barely recognize you."

"Thank you." Hanzo replied, unsure of what else to say.

They finished with their shoes. When Hanzo looked back over at Morrison, he saw that he had two thin zippered sweatshirts hung over his arm, one grey and one blue.

"Here." said Morrison as he tossed the grey one to Hanzo.

Hanzo caught it. It was heavier than he'd expected, although after slipping it on he realized the weight was mostly from a small handgun in a hidden compartment sewn into the left underside.

"Valerio's not big on firearms in his office." Morrison explained as he handed the other sweatshirt to McCree. "He's got a sensor that picks up on gunpowder and metal. But still, I don't feel safe sending you two out without weapons. So I had a couple made that fire from pressurized gas."

Hanzo pulled out the hand gun and examined it after checking that the safety was on. He found it was shaped like any standard pocket gun, but it was made of a strong, clear plastic. Thanks to its translucency, Hanzo didn't have to remove to the clip to see that there were seven bullets in the chamber.

He put it back in his pocket.

"I have several knives on my person." Hanzo asked. "Will this be a problem?"

"Nah." Morrison replied.

The rest of the ride was over quickly. Hanzo barely had time to use the restroom before the ship came to a rest on the ground.

"I'll send you two the address." said Morrison as he shoved them out the door. "Go in through the back. And ping me if you need anything."

The sky was dark as they left the ship. After a very brief moment of confusion, Hanzo remembered that they were in a different time zone.

Hanzo scanned his surroundings to see that they'd been dropped off in the center of an empty parking lot in an abandoned strip mall. Even in the darkness, he could make out a few rows of brown and red residential streets in the distance. Thankfully, there were no people that he could see.

They took the last bus into town. Hanzo would have liked to talk, either recreationally or in regards to their plan, but McCree quickly left for the bathroom. Hanzo assumed he was getting a closer look at his gun.

"You nervous?" McCree asked as they left the bus.

"Not in particular."

"Yeah, well, good for you."

The street they were headed to was close to the bus stop. As they traveled down the sidewalk, Hanzo noticed that the strip was of a higher property value than the others. Quickly, the front of a white and gold mansion came into view, settled on a massive plot of green lawn. Even in the dark, Hanzo could tell that the outside of the house was gilded like a cathedral.

"Uh." Hanzo scoffed.

"What?"

"I've always hated it when kingpins flaunt themselves."

In Hanzo's peripheral vision, he caught McCree turn his head towards him.

"Really, now?" asked McCree.

"Yes. Such immodesty indicates a lack of discipline and perverted intensives. He is a politician, not a televangelist."

"That--uh, that's good to know."

Following Morrison's instructions, they went around to the back, passing by a flashy metal gate that wrapped around the front and fenced in Valerio's car from the lawn as they did. Hanzo found the back of the mansion was just as gilded as the front. Not wanting to trash the flimsy padlock lock on the back entrance of the gate, they were forced to hop over it the old fashion way. Finally, they walked up the wide stone staircase to Valerio's back door.

As they knocked on the large, thick wooden door, Hanzo got the feeling he wasn't going to like Valerio very much.

 _"Entrar!"_ a voice called from within.

Hanzo looked at McCree. McCree looked back as he opened the door.

"After you." McCree muttered.

Hanzo stepped inside.

The room he opened into was about the size of a ballroom, with elegant staircases leading up into other rooms. That which wasn't lined with gold was coated in velvet and red couches. The air was thick with the scent of cigarette smoke and perfume that had clearly been applied to cover something else.

Hanzo could tell immediately that the room wasn't used for anything but high-class parties and week long benders.

 _"In here_." the same voice called, just to their left.

Turning towards the voice, Hanzo found a door off to the side of the room with a name plaque next to it that read _Jeremías Elizabeth Valerio_. After silently checking it over with McCree, Hanzo opened the door.

Valerio's study had the same color theme as the ball room, and the scent of smoke and perfume was even stronger. Valerio himself stood casually in front of a desk that propped up a phone, another name plaque, a large brown book, and a collection of old sandwich crusts on a small white plate. The wall behind his head featured three large framed paintings, each one of a different naked woman. Hanzo watched as McCree examined a painting with mild disapproval before taking a stand to Hanzo's left.

Valerio looked exactly as he did in the picture, right down to the rings, sunglasses, and sweat. Hanzo wondered if he always wore sunglasses indoors.

"Hola." Valerio greeted as he reached for McCree's hand.

"Hello." McCree replied as he accepted the handshake.

Hanzo just barely noticed that Valerio was wearing one less ring than he had been after he pulled his hand away from McCree's.

Valerio only gave Hanzo a little glace before stepping behind his desk to take a seat. Hanzo refrained from bowing, as he had the feeling the gesture might have been considered offensive.

"I assume you are looking to see my wares?" asked Valerio.

His voice was raspy, like he'd been up late.

"Was thinking about it." McCree answered.

"I'd prefer to skip introductions, if you don't mind."

Hanzo had always loved to hear those words. Especially from mob bosses.

"Here is what I have." Valerio followed as he reached under his desk. "Four bags, fifty pounds in each one. Just like I said."

With a grunt, Valerio pushed out a bag of white powder held together by thick, clear plastic, distantly followed by the other three. By the time he was done, his hemline was soaked in even more sweat.

Hanzo examined the bags. They looked the right color to be legitimate.

"Perfectly uncut." said Valerio. "From only the--"

Valerio was cut off by a sharp, high-pitched scream. Hanzo's ears perked up to inform him it had come from below.

"We interrupting something?" McCree asked.

Instead of answering, Valerio swore loudly and banged his foot against the wood floor. He sighed and grabbed the plate of sandwich crusts off his desk when his foot was only met with another cry. Leaning over once again, he moved the corner of the carpet aside to reveal a small, square panel of wood that was distantly darker in color from the wood around it. He then grabbed a string attached to one side to swing it open with a loud creak, revealing another room that Hanzo didn't have the height to see. There was another cry as Valerio tossed the bread crusts down into the room, followed by the distinct chatter of small children.

"Niños, huh?" asked Valerio as he shut the door, muffling the chatter.

Personally, Hanzo had never been fond of child trafficking. Children made for very incompetent workers.

"Can't stand them." McCree replied in a voice that sounded just a little too dead.

"Anyways. Let me grab you a sample."

Valerio opened one of the bags with a long knife. When he pulled the blade back, Hanzo could see that some of the cocaine had stuck to the blade. With his free hand, Valerio urged them forward.

Hanzo stepped forward until he was just a foot from the desk and took the knife. Wanting to stay in his right mind, Hanzo made sure only to only lick a very small amount. He nodded to McCree when the taste was as pure as the color while Valerio patched the severed bag with tape.

"How would you two gentlemen feel about twelve thousand credits a pound?" Valerio asked.

"We would prefer eight." Hanzo replied.

"Ten?"

"That will do."

"Very good. I like it when these things are done quickly."

Valerio opened the brown book on his desk to reveal it was filled with lines of handwriting. Valerio reached for a pen. Doing his best to read upside-down, Hanzo made out than he was writing the amount he'd sold, along with the name 'Jack Morrison'. There were many other names in the book, although Hanzo didn't recognize any of them.

"Has Morrison bought from you before?" asked McCree.

"Yes." Valerio replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering."

There was another sharp cry from the basement. This time, instead of opening the trap door, Valerio simply widened his eyes in irritation and banged his foot against the floor until the noise stopped. Hanzo felt the air to his left shift the tiniest bit as McCree readjusted his weight.

"Now." Valerio started. "I'm fine with receiving payment electronically, but I will ask that--"

With a bang that likely would have been deafening without Hanzo's new ear mufflers, Valerio stopped talking. It took Hanzo less than a second to notice the thick red hole between Valerio's eyes as his body fell to the floor with a clunk. Hanzo turned to his left to see McCree, gun still outstretched.

"We've been standing here for a real long time." McCree explained.

Had he given a bit more regard for his own life, Hanzo might have felt something more than mild amusement as McCree quickly walked forward and pulled the hatch back up.

"I will barricade the door." Hanzo said as the sound of children screaming filled the air.

"Thank you kindly."

Hanzo was quick as he shook Valerio's body out of his chair and shoved it under the doorknob. He pressed his ear up to the frame to see if he could hear anything, but the sound of the children's cries were far too loud. When he went to go grab Valerio's desk, he shoved Valerio's body as far against the wall as he could. With a grunt, he pushed the desk to the door, just in time to hear loud footsteps and angry calls of Spanish right outside the door.

McCree was out of sight. Swiftly, Hanzo made his way to the hatch and stuck his head in.

The hatch led to an unkept, grey stone basement, about twenty feet by twenty feet in size. There was no light source, but the light from the hatch helped him spot eight children. The oldest looked maybe six and the youngest perhaps four. Hanzo could also see McCree in the corner, untying a child from the wall. The hatch was positioned on the center of one of the sides of the dungeon, tight against a wall that was fitted with a simple wooden ladder.

Hanzo wrinkled his nose at the scent of the room.

"Back up is coming." he told McCree over the sound of the children, who had all taken it upon themselves to scream at the top of their lungs.

"You get the kids out." McCree replied, hopping towards the ladder. "I'll deal with the back up."

The Spanish obscenities and footsteps grew louder. Hanzo heard someone ram against the door.

"I should deal with the back up. I'm already up here." said Hanzo as McCree climbed out of the dungeon.

"I got us in here. Only fair that I get us out."

Hanzo didn't have the time to explain that he would rather put his own life at risk than spend any time with a child as McCree pulled out his gun. Taking a large, reluctant breath of fresh air, Hanzo climbed down into the dungeon and away from the sound of gunfire wearing down the door and barricade.

Unfortunately, the gun fire from Valerio's men only did more to scare the children. The three who weren't tied to the wall with thick rope scattered around the floor. One bumped into Hanzo's knees.

" _Mamá._ " the child sobbed, grabbing Hanzo's legs.

Disgusted, Hanzo peeled the child from his body and sat it on his shoulders. He was forced to hunch over to avoid scraping the child against the ceiling as the other children began to scramble around without purpose.

"What is your reason for chaos?" Hanzo asked in irritation.

None of the children answered. Groaning in irritation, Hanzo grabbed the knife strapped to his left calf and got to work on freeing the first child. It would have been a lot easier had the child not been thrashing around the entire time. Still, he managed it in less than ten seconds.

"Take this." Hanzo said as he handed the newly freed child the knife. "I have others. If I cut children free in a clockwise pattern while you cut them free in a counterclockwise fashion, we can be done in half the time."

The child grabbed the knife by the blade and began to wave it around dangerously.

"I have made a mistake." Hanzo followed as he took the knife back, vowing never again to trust a small child with a knife.

Hanzo continued around the edges of the dungeon until he had freed every child. After he'd freed each child, he instructed it to grab onto the shirt of another child and hold tight. Finally, he had a line of seven children, along with the child on his shoulders..

"Dónde está mi mamá?" a child asked Hanzo through thick tears.

"No speako." Hanzo replied.

Hanzo led the children to the ladder. He motioned for them to stay put while he tapped his earlobe.

"What is your location?" Hanzo asked into his communicator.

'Front yard.' McCree replied.

"Is it safe to bring them up?"

'Yeah, but do it quick. Valerio's men called in for more back-up, and we're about to have some cars on our ass. Bring the kids out the way we came in. Reckon I should have his ride hijacked by then.'

Hanzo took the child off his shoulders and stood on his toes to place it outside the dungeon. In silence, save for the sounds of the children, Hanzo repeated the process seven more times. He climbed out into the light of day once he'd finished and took a grateful breath of fresh air.

The door to the study had been completely trashed. Two new bodies lied against the floor, marinating in small pools of blood. Hanzo tossed the cocaine over his shoulders with his teeth grit in intense irritation as the children began to scream again.

"Silence yourselves and follow me." Hanzo announced to the children.

They only blinked back at him. Hanzo took a step towards the door, but they didn't follow.

"How do I get them to follow me?" Hanzo said in his comm. "We lack the time to physically move them."

'How about this. I'm gonna give you some lines, and you say them.'

"I suppose I see no other solution. What should I say?"

'Jugar un juego.'

"Jugar un juego." Hanzo repeated.

One by one, the children looked up towards him.

'Now say; sigueme por dulces.'

"Sigueme por dulces." said Hanzo.

The children's sobs halted, just a bit. Hanzo took another step towards the door and was followed to his immense relief. He took a few faster steps, and the children continued to mirror him.

'Culo.' McCree sent.

"Culo." Hanzo repeated.

To Hanzo's confusion, all the children started to giggle.

Out of the study, Hanzo found the back door of the mansion was open. After spotting McCree waving through the window of a Lambo just down the steps, Hanzo hastily urged the children out the door. As luck would have it, all of them managed their way down the stairs without injury.

"There's a bunch of sharp shit in the back." McCree warned as Hanzo opened the doors of the car. "We either gotta take it out or cover it up."

Hanzo opened the trunk to see that Jesse was right. The backseat was littered with rusty screws and a few crowbars. Thinking quickly, Hanzo fastened some seats out of the cocaine bags. He then carefully tossed the children onto the bags, with most of them landing right side up.

"Let go." Hanzo scolded the last child as it refused to break away from his arm.

The child refused. Hanzo was forced to peel its tiny hands off himself before placing it inside the car.

Once all of their heads were out of the way, Hanzo closed the trunk of the car, as well of the other doors. Quickly, he made his way to the front seat to find a ripped page in his seat. As Hanzo lifted it up and sat down, he recognized it as the most recent page from the record book in Valerio's office.

Hanzo placed the page in the glove compartment.

"You ready, ma?" McCree asked.

The window next to McCree's head had been completely shattered. Hanzo looked out the front window to the road ahead to see the fence they'd had to climb over to get inside in the first place.

"Please." Hanzo replied.

"They're waiting for us out by the front, so I was thinking we should go out through the back."

"I agree."

"Can you shoot the lock of that gate for me?"

Hanzo was just about to call McCree a dumbass before he remembered that the gate was only held together with a flimsy padlock. So instead, he nodded and grabbed his gun while McCree rolled down the window for him.

The gun was surprisingly accurate and powerful, with little knockback. Hanzo managed to trash the lock with just two shots. The children began to scream again at the sound of more gun shots, but Hanzo managed to tune them out.

"Buckle up." said McCree as he stepped on the gas.

The engine sprung into life almost immediately. Thankfully, Valerio's car proved itself able to pick up enough speed in fifteen feet to smash open his back gate with only a little more than a bump for the passengers. It was a bit strange to be in a car with old fashioned wheels, but Hanzo wasn't about to suggest a different solution.

"Todo--el--mundo--está--bien?" McCree shouted back to the children as the car jerkily bounced down Valerio's long-winding driveway, half on the pavement and half on the front lawn.

"Vaya más rápido!" a child replied.

McCree shook his head with a scoff.

"What is it?" Hanzo asked.

"They wanna go faster."

Finally, they hit the main road. Hanzo breathed out a sigh of relief as the ride turned a lot smoother.

"Would you mind looking up where the closest fire department is?" asked McCree as he stepped back on the gas.

Hanzo nodded and grabbed his phone as trees and parked cars whizzed by. He ignored the sound of obnoxiously revving cars and the sight in the mirror of Valerio's back-up behind the wheels as he searched Google maps for the fire department. After he'd finished, he changed the direction output language to English and tied his phone to the air vents with a shoelace.

"Thank you." McCree said once Hanzo'd gotten through with setting up the phone. "And would you mind shooting a couple cars for me?"

"I would not."

Hanzo took a closer glance at the cars behind him in the side mirror. There were two of them, both old fashioned sports cars, no hover. They were about fifty feet away for the moment, although Hanzo suspected that distance might shorten if he didn't do anything.

After pulling his pistol back out and rolling down the window on his side, Hanzo avoided the gunfire with ease and shot out the front tires of both cars with three bullets to spare. There was a loud pop as both cars screeched and slowed, although Hanzo got a quick glance of a passenger in the right car pulling out a gun.

"They're about to shoot out your wheels." Hanzo informed McCree as he rolled the window back up. "I would suggest taking a curvier path."

Knuckles white against the wheel, McCree nodded and took a sharp right down the first available street.

"Think we lost them?" McCree asked.

Before Hanzo could answer, the unmistakable sound of police sirens cut through the air. Just a few hundred feet ahead of them, red and blue lights flashed as a hover car came into view, blocking the road. There were two available turns to make, but they were both coming up much too fast for McCree to make them at the speed he was going without skidding.

"Maybe the feds can help us with the kids." said McCree.

"We have two hundred pounds of cocaine in the backseat of a stolen car."

"...Fuck."

McCree hit the breaks and took the cross street to his left, causing the car to lurch painfully. Hanzo reached his arm up just in time to catch an airborne child by the ankle before it could crash through the front window. Reluctantly, Hanzo placed the child in his lap.

"Stop hugging me." he instructed it.

McCree ramped the car back up to full speed. The police cars poured in, but they were unable to keep up. It seemed even police hover cars weren't a match for the top speed of a Lambo, especially when McCree found the button on the dash that fired machine gun rounds out the tailpipe.

"This thing's got machine guns, a front canon, sand traps, and a laser beam." McCree noted as he examined the dashboard. "Valerio really knew how to live, huh?"

"Mhh." Hanzo replied.

"Feels bad to be putting the cop's lives in danger with car crashes, though. Even bureaucrats probably have souls."

"If that is your concern, you should use the sand. I suspect it would lower the likelihood of death from bullet ricochet."

McCree shot Hanzo a look before responding.

"You think you can handle being a tech guy?" he asked.

"I can try."

Hanzo took a look at the control panel. It seemed pretty straight forward, and he only blew one hole in a building while he was getting used to the settings.

"Did I mention I ain't never driven this fast before?" McCree asked.

"You are doing fine." Hanzo replied.

"Thank you kindly. Just, uh, sorry if I kill us."

"I'm not worried about it."

"That's good to hear."

"I wouldn't consider it to be much of a disservice."

"Oh, I thought you just believed in me."

Hanzo's phone informed them to take the next left. McCree complied and swerved around a stray cat.

"Is there a reason you've brought a page from Valerio's record book?" Hanzo asked.

"Kinda hard to explain. Saw a name that I recognized, though I ain't sure where I heard it from."

Hanzo opened his mouth to reply, but cut himself off with a look of disgust.

"What's that face?" McCree asked, shooting him a glance.

"This child has just urinated on me." Hanzo replied.

McCree tried and failed to suppress a snort. Hanzo grit his teeth and picked up the child in his lap by the scruff of its shirt.

"You are an embarrassment to child-kind." he told it.

The fire department pulled into view as more sirens filled the air. McCree slammed on the breaks again. There was a heavy bump as he drove the car over the sidewalk and into the department parking lot next to a row of large red trucks.

Hanzo examined the fire department building. It was a large, square structure, made of red brick. There was a pole next to the trucks that sported a flag. The lights were on inside, although Hanzo was unsure as to what their plan was.

"Let's open the doors and let the kids out." McCree said as he opened the door next to him.

Hanzo did the same.

Quickly, they opened all the doors and the truck, with Hanzo working from the front of the car in a clockwise fashion and McCree working in a counterclockwise fashion like competent adults. Unfortunately, the children didn't budge.

"Dulces dentro." McCree said to the children as he pointed at the front of the fire department.

It worked. Mumbling nonsensically, the children fumbled out of the car and began to wander towards the door of the fire department. In the corner of Hanzo's eye, he caught the image of a police car rolling around the same turn they'd taken to get to the fire department, just a could hundred yards away. It began to advance on them, gaining distance fast.

"We should knock." Hanzo suggested.

McCree nodded. As Hanzo closed the back doors and trunk of the car, McCree ran to and from the front door, knocking loudly on the door as he did. By the time he got back to the car, the door had opened, revealing two adults in brightly colored jackets. They peered down at the children.

"They'll be alright." said Hanzo as the children were led inside. "We should make haste."

"Quién eres tú?" one of the adults shouted at McCree.

"Reckon you might be right." McCree replied to Hanzo.

The police car behind them was nearly touching their bumper as the car hummed to life. Hanzo barely had time to put his seat belt back on when McCree tore off. Just in case McCree had a poor sense of direction, Hanzo instructed his phone's GPS to take them back to the strip mall.

"Morrison, do you read?" McCree said into his comm. "We're coming back to you a little faster than we anticipated."

'What are you talking about?' Morrison replied.

"We got a couple bureaucrats on our asses."

'And why would that be?'

"...I'll explain when we get there."

'Alright, I'll head over.'

McCree took his hand off his ear and put it back on the wheel. Remembering the page, Hanzo took it out of the glove compartment and tucked it under his arm just in case they had to make a break for the ship.

"Now, uh," McCree started as they drove up on the sidewalk to avoid the police cars pouring in from all directions, "I know this might be a lot to ask, but I gotta ask. Would you be up for covering my ass?"

"I see no reason why not to." Hanzo answered truthfully.

"Good. Thank you kindly."

They exited the residential strips. McCree hit the gas and sent them flying. They neared closer to the strip mall, but McCree took a few turns around it and entered through a different entrance. Hanzo looked in the rear-view mirror to see that the police cars were quickly losing distance on them.

"Throwing them off." he explained.

Hanzo couldn't see the ship from behind the broken down buildings, so he assumed a building must have been blocking it.

"Sorry for getting us into this." said McCree as they drove up to the parking lot they'd landed in.

"That is alright." Hanzo replied. "I've no preferred outcome towards the events of this particular assignment."

Hanzo's words were truthful. In fact, something about the situation left him feeling a strange sense of peace, although he couldn't even begin to describe it.

"Goddamn it!" McCree swore as they rolled back into the parking lot. Hanzo followed McCree's eyes to see that the ship was nowhere in sight.

McCree grit his teeth and tapped his earlobe.

"Where the hell are you?" he yelled into the comm.

'I told you, we'll be there soon. We had to take a detour to Mexico.'

"What detour?"

'I wanted a taco.'

"Oh, you wanted a taco, huh?"

'I didn't know you were gonna go be an idiot, McCree. I'll keep that in mind for next time.'

McCree grunted and threw his head back. Hanzo looked in the rear-view mirror but was unable to spot any cars. Nor could he hear any, which was probably a good thing. He wasn't sure how much time McCree had given them with his rampant speeding and sidetracking, although he hoped he wouldn't have to find out.

"Well, guess our day's on Morrison now." McCree said as he parked next to where the ship was supposed to be.

"You do not sound pleased." Hanzo replied.

"No, I ain't."

Hanzo didn't reply. He momentarily considered suggesting they hide somewhere, but that was before he remembered the two hundred pounds of cocaine. He wasn't sure what would happen if the police caught up to them. Probably nothing good for Overwatch.

"You wanna talk about something?" asked McCree as he drummed his fingers anxiously against the wheel.

"What would you like to discuss?" Hanzo replied.

"I dunno. Something to get my mind off everything."

"That is too vague a requirement for me to humor. Think of something yourself."

"I can't think when they're getting closer. Just name a subject that interests you."

"Many subjects interest me."

"Then name a subject."

Hanzo was still a bit confused, as he wasn't sure if McCree was interested in speaking about broad subjects or specific subgenres of subjects. So in an act of desperation, he began to name subjects in the order he'd studied them in his first year at elementary school.

"Social studies." Hanzo started. "Japanese history. Mathematical Probability. Lunch tim--"

"Tell me about probability. Why does probability interest you?"

Hanzo thought to himself for a moment.

"The fabric of our universe is composed of probability on every level." he answered.

"Sounds mighty interesting, Hanzo. Why don't you talk about that for a while?"

Hanzo nodded.

"To best understand probability, I would find it easiest to speak from a subatomic level up." said Hanzo.

"Good luck with that."

"What is your current understanding of the universe?"

McCree squinted.

"A bunch of particles bouncing off each other and then a bunch of weird shit happens that I don't understand, like giant black holes that can suck in time and dark matter that we can't see but still know it's there." McCree replied. "Then at that point, I excuse myself from whoever's trying to explain it to me in favor of drinking heavily."

"A noble choice. Do you know anything of the movements of the particles?"

"I reckon it sure is fast."

"Are you familiar with quantum randomness?"

McCree squinted.

"No." he replied. "Why would I be familiar with--"

Hanzo raised an eyebrow when McCree cut himself off.

"Wait." McCree followed. "I am. Continue."

"Very well. Can you conceptualize a subatomic particle?"

"...Sure."

"What does it look like?" Hanzo asked, suddenly curious.

"It's--uh, round." McCree answered. "It's got a hat."

"What kind of hat?"

"One of the ones with the little pinwheels. Why you asking?"

"No reason whatsoever. Now imagine an infinite number of potential paths this particle could take--"

"No."

"Now imagine ten potential paths this particle could take."

"Alright."

"Now imagine that each of the paths has a different percentage of probability tied to it. Some have a larger percentage while some have a smaller percentage."

"Gotcha."

"It does not matter, but I'm curious to know how you're visually conceptualizing the varying probability of the paths."

"Some of the paths got bigger dicks."

Hanzo coughed.

"...Is that what makes you happy?" he asked.

"Reckon it is." McCree replied.

"So be it. In any case, the movement of the particle will be dictated by probability. It is more likely to take the path of larger endowment, while less likely to take the path of lesser endowment."

"Why are you telling me this again?"

"So that you can understand how the universe is dictated by probability. Now you must understand probability. Do you understand probability?"

"Course I do."

"What is your understanding?"

McCree was silent. He didn't even look up as the ship started to drop down.

"You roll a ten sided die ten times, It's most likely gonna come up as a number five or lower five times, cause of a bunch of math I don't wanna do." said McCree. "Then it's next most likely to come up as a number five or lower six or four times, and then seven and three, and so on so forth."

"Yes. How did you know that?"

"Everybody knows that."

Hanzo shook his head. McCree was an idiot.

"You have too much faith." Hanzo replied. "Most people believe the way probability works is that your pinwheel-wearing subatomic particle would always take the path with the highest probability. They fail--"

Hanzo threw his hand up into the air.

"--to understand that the particle could take any path. A particle could take the path of least probability ten times in sequence." he finished.

"No, I getcha."

Hanzo realized he was overexplaining himself.

"My apologies." he started. "It is shameful to admit, but I have some emotional attachments to this concept."

"Why's that?"

"It is...difficult to explain. I would find human beings to be much more tolerable if they understood basic probability."

"Give me a why."

Hanzo bit chewed on the inside of his mouth as he thought.

"As of now, even fully grown adults exhibit an unforgivable amount of self bias when it comes to probability." he answered. "For example, if a million humans each flipped a coin fifteen times, the very small percentage that managed to flip heads each time would assume there to be something special about the situation or themself."

McCree made a face. Hanzo's ears picked up on the sound of sirens, but he refrained from mentioning it.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

"Nothing. I just reckon that's the most...specific and bizarre criticism I've ever heard of the human race."

"Do you not see how that affects how people formulate their values?"

"I’m gonna have to think about that. As for you, you ever just try...explaining it to people? If it gets under your skin and all that."

"I've tried."

"And?"

"They leave me in favor of drinking heavily."

McCree chuckled. Hanzo decided he liked the sound.

"Can I give you some advice?" McCree asked.

"What's that?"

"Explain it with a die. Don't use the particle example."

"The particle example is a literal example."

"But it's real hard."

Hanzo crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine." he said. "From now on, I will speak only in loose metaphors like some sort of abstract artist and allow people to interpret me however they pleasure."

McCree opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted as the comms buzzed into life.

'You two ready?' Morrison sent.

"Yeah." McCree replied.

'Good. Coming down.'

Hanzo looked out the front window to see the ship descending quickly from above their heads. After locking eyes with McCree, they both opened their doors.

They didn't speak to each other as they both scrambled out the doors and grabbed the cocaine, two bags each. Hanzo stuck the page from the record book on top of the coke. By the time they'd finished, the dropship had hit the ground.

The door fell open.

"Get in!" Morrison shouted from the doorway as he finished his taco.

Hanzo complied. The ship began to lift into the air as soon as Hanzo's feet both landed on the floor of it.

They rose quickly. The door of the drop ship began to close, but slowly enough for Hanzo to make out some of the mess they'd caused. Below his feet, Hanzo saw the first police make its way into the parking lot. Upon spotting the now empty Lambo, it sped up. In the distance, Hanzo spotted a whole squad of police cars pouring into the scene from a few miles off from the Valerio's mansion.

An officer stepped out from the car. She shouted something in Spanish at the dropship, although she was too far away for Hanzo to pick up on what.

"We're CIA!" Morrison yelled back to her. "Culpar al CIA!"

The door to the dropship closed. Morrison sighed.

"Where should we put the cocaine?" Hanzo asked Morrison.

"Just stick it in some seats." Morrison replied, pointing to one of the chairs. "What's the paper for?"

Hanzo looked down in confusion to see the paper he'd grabbed flutter to the floor.

"That's from Valerio's record book." McCree answered as he lugged his cocaine into a chair. "Saw a name in it I recognized."

"...What name?"

After Hanzo put his cocaine in the chair next to McCree, McCree grabbed the page. After a moment or two of scanning, he opened his mouth.

"Diane Roomiaro." he answered. "Sound familiar to you?"

Morrison shrugged.

"Hard to say." he replied. "Although that does remind me of something."

"What's that?" McCree asked.

"Either of you care to tell me why every police car in the city was chasing you?"

Hanzo realized with a start that they hadn't decided on a lie.

"Valerio, uh," said McCree, "he, um, he tried to shoot Hanzo."

"He tried to shoot me. So Agent McCree shot him." Hanzo confirmed.

"And why the hell did he try to shoot you?" asked Morrison.

"He, uh--" McCree trailed off.

McCree cut himself off with a subtle glance in Hanzo's direction.

"He said he didn't care for..." Hanzo continued. "Um..."

"The Japanese." McCree blurted.

Although it was barely noticeable, Hanzo saw McCree cringe at himself.

"Huh." Morrison replied with a shrug. "Valerio was a racist? I wouldn't be surprised."

"You--you wouldn't?" McCree replied.

"Not at all. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a little kid dungeon or something."

Morrison let them be after that. Hanzo couldn't believe he'd fallen for it.

The ride back to base was uneventful. By the time Hanzo had managed to change back into his clothes and use the bathroom, the ship landed.

Hanzo was about halfway off the launch pad back to Watchpoint when he heard the jingle of someone else. He looked over his shoulder to see that McCree had jogged up to him.

"Howdy." McCree greeted.

McCree had changed back into his jeans, boots, and flannel on the ship at the first chance he'd gotten.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

"You wanna meet for dinner?"

"I would not be opposed."

"Good. Meet me at the dining hall in ten minutes."

McCree started to walk away. Hanzo watched him as he did.

"And bring your mission report sheet." McCree followed in a mutter.

 _'Oh._ ' Hanzo realized.

Hanzo spent the next nine minutes wandering the halls. He slipped into the dinning hall at the right time to see McCree sitting in the corner, accompanied by no one but a sandwich. Hanzo grabbed a muffin from the buffet so that it didn't look like he'd just come to loiter.

The dining hall was large, but there were few people inside it. Most of the ones who were ate by themselves. Hanzo picked up the pace a bit as he walked by Genji.

He sat down at McCree's table with a tiny clunk.

"Thought it would be best if we didn't turn in two different stories." McCree explained.

"I'd assumed as much."

"We won't make them the same, but we'll throw in a few details and make sure there ain't no contradictions."

Hanzo hummed in agreement.

They spoke quietly as they worked out their story, but not so much that they seemed suspicious. McCree obviously had plenty of experience both lying and playing nonchalant. So much so that Hanzo almost felt convinced a few times that McCree really had saved him from a race crime.

There was a question Hanzo wanted to ask McCree, but he forced himself to wait until they'd finished to even consider asking.

"Looks good." McCree said as they wrapped up. "How about...you turn yours in tomorrow and I turn mine in on Saturday. He'll think something's up if I turn mine in on time."

"Very well." Hanzo replied.

"Hey, uh, I wanna thank you again for doing this."

"You've already thanked me."

"That's why I said 'again'."

Hanzo scoffed in amusement.

"May I ask you a question involving the events which have just transpired?" he asked after a few beats.

"Course." McCree replied.

McCree stared while Hanzo searched for the words.

"My apologies if I sound too cruel." said Hanzo. "But I'm curious of the motivations behind your actions today."

"Which actions?"

"Your choice to risk your job and your life to preserve eight children."

"Don't see anything weird about that."

"Even though you've terminated Valerio, Overwatch will most likely still be dealing with someone who is not above child trafficking. And your actions today, while noble, likely will do nothing to undermine the system."

McCree took a bite of his sandwich. He chewed it in thought.

"Look, I'm all for undermining systems," McCree started, "but I just don't feel like there's much I can do for this one."

Hanzo was silent as McCree took another bite of his sandwich.

"If I'd be given the choice between saving eight kids or getting rid of child trafficking for good," McCree continued as he swallowed, "reckon I'd choose the latter. But that weren't the choice I was given."

"And what choice were you given?"

"The choice between eight kids, or nothing."

"I disagree."

"You do?"

"The choice was between eight children, or a threat to your life and Overwatch's reputation."

"Eh, I knew I could handle those goons. And I can't really say I care much about Overwatch's reputation."

"Hmm. Then I suppose your actions make perfect sense."

McCree replied with a gesture somewhere between a nod and a shrug. He took another bite of his sandwich while another question rose in Hanzo's mind.

"Why do you work for this organization?" Hanzo asked. "You hardly seem to see eye to eye with Morrison."

"At first, I wasn't really given a choice. I even quit for a while. But when the war started, I didn't really know what else to do. And I'd made some friends here."

"The other agents seem to hold you in high regard."

McCree grinned wide before giving his response.

"That they do." he replied. "Though I can't say I know why."

Hanzo didn't have any more questions after that. He ate his muffin in three quick bites before standing up and giving McCree a small bow of goodbye.

"I must go." said Hanzo.

"Catch you later." McCree replied as Hanzo left.

Hanzo could only hope every mission would be so tolerable.


	3. Lone Wolf, Free My Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter ended up like way longer than every other chapter. most other chapters are only like half the length of this one

_April 15th, 2077_

Hanzo traveled straight from the loading bay to his quarters. To his surprise, he found that Genji had come back.

"What are you doing here?" asked Hanzo.

Genji shifted his hands. Hanzo looked down to see that he was carrying a bag.

"I brought you fish." Genji answered as he lifted the bag. "May I come in?"

In any other circumstance, Hanzo would have taken the fish and said no. However, his brother's face was so pathetic that Hanzo couldn't bare it.

"For ten minutes." Hanzo replied.

"So be it."

Hanzo opened his door, and Genji followed him inside.

"Are you doing alright?" Hanzo asked.

"I will get by." Genji replied as he placed the fish in the fridge. "I'm more worried about Amari-san."

"I did not see her with the other senior officers."

"She has not left her office since hearing the news."

After walking over to his window, Hanzo touched the glass. A semi-recent memory of Jesse played in his mind. He wasn't sure why, but he felt a sudden urge to share it.

"May I tell you what he said to me once?" said Hanzo.

"McCree?" Genji asked.

"Yes. While he was drunk and I'd helped him get home."

"What did he say?"

Hanzo let his eyes fall closed.

"He told me that I was, and that I always shall be, his friend." he answered.

"...Oh." Genji replied.

"I'd never heard something so kind. It was weeks ago, but I think of it every day."

"...Yeah."

"I'm not usually one for poetry, but..."

Genji said nothing. Hanzo stared at the window as more memories of Jesse flooded into his heart.

* * *

* * *

_January 9th, 2076_

Every mission did not turn out to be so tolerable. After two more assignments; one with Angela and one with Lena and an Omnic whose name he failed to learn, Hanzo quickly realized that working for Overwatch was twice as boring as it was dangerous.

Hanzo still had not managed to pin down what he thought of Overwatch. He was appreciative of their role as a primary foil to Talon's attempt at terrorism. And after speaking with him a few times more, Winston continued to give off an air of genuine trust in Overwatch's abilities to bring about order. However, Hanzo was unsure of how much information Winston really knew. On one hand, Hanzo was perfectly fine of the idea of blind pawns, especially when considering the fact that he believed them to be crucial for a functioning society. But on the other hand, after cutting himself off from Yakuza, Hanzo was no longer comfortable with being one himself.

He supposed all he really had was his brother's judgement. Which was probably good enough.

Hanzo wasn't sure why he'd managed to have so much fun with McCree. It had been surprisingly fun to go off the books, but Hanzo felt there was more to it. After an embarrassingly long amount of time, he realized he had simply enjoyed McCree's company.

To his luck, he ran into McCree once again. Hanzo had just been finished with the weight room and wandered outside to the tartan track out of curiosity when he noticed McCree by the fifty yard mark, balling up his keys and phone in a towel. It took Hanzo a moment to recognize that it was him, as his usually attire had been swapped out for a simple pair of gym shorts and a sleeveless white shirt.

Hanzo got the feeling he wasn't particularly comfortable with the arrangement.

Hanzo stepped onto the track. It was of the standard track and field size, although in the center lay a swimming pool rather than a football field. Along with two other buildings, the weight room framed three sides of the track, while a rocky cliff side framed the other and looked over the Spanish ocean. The weather was nice as well, despite it being dead winter.

McCree turned as Hanzo planted both his feet on the polyurethane of the tartan track. He gave Hanzo a little wave. Wanting to be polite for once, Hanzo jogged over instead of walking.

"Howdy." McCree greeted.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

"You just get here, or...?"

"I spent an hour or so in the weight room. I'd like to make a habit out of training as soon as I can."

"Hmm."

The conversation lulled. It took Hanzo a moment to realize that he was supposed to waste both their time and ask the question back, even though he didn't care at all about the answer and neither of them would enjoy the exchange in the slightest.

"And you?" Hanzo asked as he remembered the skills he'd learned from the _So Your Child is Resistant to Socialization_ pamphlet his father had made him read at age eight.

"Just got here." McCree answered.

"Uhuh."

"You wanna run with me?"

Hanzo did want to run with McCree. And he was additionally thankful that McCree had asked, as it meant that the half minute they'd wasted with reintroductions now had a purpose.

Even if that purpose could have also been reached without wasting thirty seconds.

"What distance?" asked Hanzo.

"Two miles. Usually run two miles every morning."

Quickly, Hanzo converted kilometers to miles in his head to judge the distance McCree had requested.

"Would you mind if we added a mile?" Hanzo requested.

"Guess not. That a yes?"

"Yes."

"Then follow me."

McCree took off at a medium, easy pace. Hanzo matched it with his own feet.

"Is this usually the pace you travel?" Hanzo asked.

"Yeah. That alright?" McCree replied.

"I suppose I can make do. Just, um..."

With a hand reaching towards McCree's shoulder, Hanzo brought them both to a halt. Hanzo searched the side of the track until he spotted a box of weight packs just a few feet behind them.

"I will use this." Hanzo followed as he walked over and slung a weight pack over his shoulder.

McCree watched with an indescribable expression as Hanzo jogged back to him. They took off again.

"How's your first week been?" McCree asked.

"Mediocre."

"Tell me something you like about it, and something you don't."

His brows coming together, Hanzo had to think about it for a long moment before he was ready to answer.

"I found visiting South America with you to be surprisingly tolerable." he replied.

"None taken."

"As for something I don't care for? The people."

They reached the other side of the track. Hanzo looked out over his shoulder to the ocean below.

"Hope that changes." McCree replied.

"Hmm."

"How's it compare to the Yakuza?"

Hanzo's mouth twisted to the side as he thought.

"Less political." Hanzo answered. "Although I can hardly suppose I'd feel that way if I had a higher position."

"You mind talking about the Yakuza?"

"Not at all. Why would I?"

"Your brother don't like to."

"I've a suspicion that has something to do with the fact that he rarely attended anything."

McCree chuckled through his breath.

"Hey, uh, I got a question." he asked once he'd finished.

"What's that?"

"Well, I was just wondering if ya'll actually, uh..."

McCree trailed off. Hanzo glanced over to see that he looked a bit embarrassed, although he had no idea why.

"Did they really do the whole left hand, finger-cutting off ritual?" McCree finished. "Cause I read that they did that as a--punishment. You know, within the ranks."

"You mean Yubitsume? Yes, I've seen many with no little finger on their left hand."

"Yubitsume?"

"It means 'pinkyless bastards'."

"...It do?"

Hanzo snorted.

"No." he replied.

McCree smiled and scoffed as Hanzo laughed.

"You got me." said McCree. "You got an opinion on it?"

"On Yubitsume?"

"Yeah."

Hanzo didn't have to think for long at all before opening his mouth.

"Punishing incompetence with incompetence?" he replied. "Strongly opposed. I was fortunate to have a father that recognized the act for the arbitrary romp that it was."

"What do you mean by that? The last bit."

Hanzo scoffed as one of his main quarrels with the Yakuza returned to his mind,

"To many foolish cultists, the finger-cutting ritual is an objective representation of a bond of trust has been broken, and the punishment that must then transpire." Hanzo answered. "When in truth, it's but a ritual of mutilation founded on fear of left-handedness and other such ideologies."

"And that bugs you, huh?" asked McCree.

"I do not approve of the arbitrary placement of value. Well, no. It's more complicated than that."

"Fore we get into that, tell me what that word means to you."

"Which word?"

"Arbitrary. You used it twice."

"Oh."

Hanzo thought to himself for a moment. McCree wiped a line of sweat from his forehead.

"I fail to think of a straight definition. But I can use it in context." Hanzo replied.

"Use away."

"I would consider the placement of a label of any kind on an object or concept that fails to mirror that object or concept's true value, or lack of true value, to be arbitrary."

McCree nodded.

"I think I getcha." he panted. "But I ain't so sure I feel the same way."

"Why's that?" asked Hanzo.

"Ain't everything arbitrary?"

"In a cosmic sense, yes."

"That ain't exactly what I'm getting at. Even if that weren't true, the cosmic thing--"

"Although it is."

McCree gave Hanzo a little side glance.

"This is very important to me." Hanzo followed. "My apologies, please continue."

"It's alright. Anyway, I don't know much about physics. But I was thinking about what you said about probability the other day, and thinking about how it might affect what I can see, and values and all that..."

"Yes?"

"If life's just a bunch of statistics getting thrown at a wall, don't that mean...mean that...uh--"

"That we cannot know objective fact, but only hold subjective evaluations to varying degrees of certainty?" Hanzo interrupted. "At least, in the overwhelming majority of cases..."

"Yeah."

"You are correct. I misspoke when I initially voiced my irritation. What my frustration actually lies with is when people refuse to accept that the value they've placed on something is inevidably some level of arbitrary, especially when said value becomes culturally adopted as a fact by an entire collective. I wish that the human race was more critical of how it places value, rather than what it is, which is frivolously dogmatic and anecdotal."

Hanzo paused for a moment to cough.

"I believe that whenever we place value on an object or concept or opinion, we should think of it as nothing but a placeholder assessment, a swipe of Occam's razor, that very well may change in due time as we grow to understand it better." he finished.

"...Huh."

McCree's response sounded a bit skeptical. Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

"Do you disagree?" Hanzo asked.

"No, I agree. Just that my first instinct was to come to a very different conclusion. Not one that's contradictory, but different."

"What conclusion?"

"Just that we should be a little more accepting of people being wrong. We should reckon even the smartest man in the world's gonna be wrong sometimes, cause he's only got his best guess."

Now it was Hanzo's turn to 'huh'. Although there was something about McCree's reasoning that seemed dangerously optimistic, Hanzo supposed that many situations, especially ones that involved debate, would perhaps be made more constructive if everyone involved came in open to the idea of not being right.

Or, at least, less right than everyone else.

They passed the part of the track they'd started on. A counter in the back of Hanzo's head told him they'd traveled around the track enough times to equate to sixteen hundred meters, or roughly a mile.

"Should we pick up the pace for the second mile?" Hanzo asked.

"Uh, sure."

Hanzo nodded. Before taking back off, he took a quick stop at the box of weight packs and grabbed another one to add to the first. Tentatively, McCree followed the gesture and got one for himself. When they took off again, Hanzo took the lead at a faster pace.

"So." McCree followed.

"Hmm?"

"Why do you think people are so dogmatic and, uh, anecdotal?"

Hanzo thought to himself for a moment.

"Because they are very stupid." he answered.

"Nah, that's too cynical." McCree replied, shaking his head.

"Why do you believe it is, then?"

"It's simple. I don't think people like to find out that they're wrong. Or--less right, or...you know what I mean."

"Did you think you were first to notice this?"

"I think people got this idea in their head that if they're wrong about one thing, why wouldn't they be wrong about everything else?"

Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

"That is an extreme conclusion." he noted.

"Yeah, but it's probably the one they come to, for better or worse." McCree replied. "And from that, people don't wanna be wrong about everything, cause that means their very way of life is completely backwards."

"...Hmm."

"I reckon the way they see it, it's better to bet that whatever you think is right is right, then it is to take a risk with some new study that says that, I dunno, that it ain't actually video games that're making everybody kill each other."

"And do you agree with that logic?"

"No. But I understand it."

Once again, McCree had a good point.

"How about we agree that all value is assigned arbitrary, but some value is assigned more arbitrarily than others?" Hanzo asked.

McCree chuckled.

"Sounds good." he replied.

"This conversation was constructive. However, for future reference regarding conversations that are not strictly about the definition of the word, I believe it would be more efficient for me to use the word arbitrary to describe that which is more arbitrary than standard, or as a synonym to the word circumstantial or random."

"Fair nuff."

There was a moment of silence, save for the push and pull of their breath. Hanzo looked back out over the ocean as they passed it again.

"Speaking of arbitrary value and the removal of fingers," Hanzo started, "sometimes I find myself wishing that--wait, no. Am I speaking too much?"

"Huh--what?" asked McCree.

"I've been leading the conversation for too long."

"No, that's alright. Ain't sure I could have it any other way right now."

"Why's that?"

"Uh, bit winded."

"We do not have to speak at all, if you would prefer."

"Nah, it's distracting me from the pain. And besides, you got me wondering what you were gonna say real bad. Ain't never heard a man start a sentence like that before."

Hanzo chuckled for a moment.

"My apologies. Are you familiar with base ten?" he asked.

"Can't say I am, no." McCree replied. "Tell me."

"Our numerical system consists of zero to nine. When we get to ten, we represent the number by placing a zero after a one."

"Oh. Makes sense."

"Does it? I believe a numerical system where we placed a zero after eight or twelve would be more efficient. That way, we would not have to deal with five being in the center. Five is not an elegant number."

"Hmm."

Once again, Hanzo was confused by McCree's tone.

"What?" asked Hanzo.

"Nothing. Just never thought about it." McCree answered. "What's it gotta do with less fingers?"

"Because--"

"Wait, I think I know."

"Tell me your guess."

"You reckon we use this--ten system cause we got ten fingers. So you wish we only had eight of them so we could make math a little easier to understand."

Glowing with the feeling of being understood, Hanzo nodded just a little too quickly.

"Yes! Yes." said Hanzo. "Although I don't wish that upon us all the time. Having four-fingered hands would be physically limiting."

They finished the second mile faster than the first. Hanzo kept up their pace as they entered into the third.

"Wait a minute. I, uh..." McCree started before trailing off.

With a hand reaching towards Hanzo's shoulder, he brought them to a slow jog.

"Think I might need to sit down." McCree followed. "Don't usually run this fast."

"Oh." Hanzo replied, disappointed. He'd been enjoying himself.

"...Actually, know what? I'll be fine. Let's do it."

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Could use the exercise."

"Very well."

Hanzo brought them back up to their previous pace. McCree coughed into his elbow as they rounded the corner of the track.

"Sorry you had to see me in shorts." said McCree.

"I will admit that they fail to suit you." Hanzo replied as he gave McCree a short once over.

"Yeah, I usually change right out of them when I'm done running."

"What is your training repertoire?"

"Sides the mandatory stuff? Uh, I run every morning. Shoot every morning. Then I spar with your brother on Sundays and Thursdays."

"Is he still a terrible match?"

"Yeah, but I am too. So I can't say I notice."

Hanzo felt his mouth soften with mild endearment. He wondered if he could ever get McCree to spar with him.

"What about you?" McCree asked.

"I've currently fallen out the habit. It used to be, before I started my day, I would sprint a kilometer in the morning, in segments of two hundred meters. I'd then undergo a three hour weight lifting program, but I'd quickly become paranoid about the amount of time I was spending and try to finish all the work in just an hour. Next, I spent two hours either sparring or climbing, depending on what day it was."

Hanzo was forced to stop for a moment to catch his breath.

"By the time eleven came around," he continued, "I'd still have an hour to dedicate to archery practice. But I'd become anxious that I was failing to exercise my brain, so I'd force myself to do it while solving logical proofs in my mind."

"Jesus. You did this every day?"

"I did this five days a week, from Sunday to Thursday. And then on every Friday, I'd have a nervous breakdown."

McCree coughed out a pleasant sounding chuckle. Hanzo hoped he didn't think he was joking.

"I then spent my Saturdays drinking alone until the evening, when I forced myself to mediate until I was able to start the cycle anew." Hanzo finished.

Hanzo wasn't sure why he was telling McCree all of this.

"Sounds like a rodeo." McCree replied.

"Yes. I plan to fall back into that rhythm immediately. However, because Overwatch may require me to be competent at any time, I suppose I will have to give up nervous breakdowns."

"Yeah, tell me how that works out."

Hanzo resisted the urge to reach over and give McCree a shove.

"Would you mind paying me a favor?" asked Hanzo.

"What is it?"

"Refrain from telling others what I have told you. Regarding my psychological shortcomings."

"Course. Though I don't reckon anybody would think too hard about it."

Hanzo snickered quietly to himself. He wondered if McCree really believed what he'd said, or if he was just humoring.

"I suspect they already care very little for me." Hanzo admitted. "I do not wish to risk it."

"Think that's being a little too cynical." McCree replied. "They don't know you."

"They know my brother."

"...They'll come around."

"I doubt that. But I believe I'll be alright. Isolation is not a foreign concept to me."

McCree failed to reply, at least for a moment. The air was filled with nothing but the sound of heavy breath.

"I, uh, just wanna say." McCree started slowly. "I do hope you like it here. I mean that."

Hanzo narrowed his eyes in McCree's direction.

"What? Why you looking at me like that?" McCree followed.

"You are a very strange man." Hanzo answered.

"I'm a strange man, huh?"

"Yes."

"And why's that?"

Twisting his mouth to the side, Hanzo thought about McCree's question for a long moment. What he found was a complicated twist of suspicions that he couldn't quite understand himself, let alone explain.

"I find myself unable to express myself properly." Hanzo finally answered. "But I will try to phrase my thoughts regardless. You are more...something...than I would expect a man who lives your life to be."

"Something? Narrows it down." McCree replied.

"I'm cautious to say optimistic, as the word fails to completely satisfy what I wish to express. But unfortunately, I cannot think of a more suitable word or phrase."

"Well, I'll be here if you ever wanna give it another shot."

"Hmm."

They finished the third mile. Hanzo didn't say anything as they passed the marker, just kept going and hoped McCree didn't notice. It seemed to work, as McCree didn't mention it either.

"We should change the subject." said Hanzo.

He wasn't sure why, but speaking about such a subject made him feel vulnerable.

"What you wanna talk about?" McCree panted.

McCree's question was a loaded one. It had been a while since Hanzo had met someone who he enjoyed speaking with so much, so he felt a compulsion to talk with McCree about any number of things while the opportunity was still open.

"What did you study in college?" Hanzo asked, wanting to get a gauge of what subjects McCree was familiar with.

"Mighty flattered you think I went to college." McCree answered.

"Oh."

"Hope you don't think less of me."

McCree's voice sounded different, somehow. Less lively. Hanzo didn't think too much of it.

"Not inherently." said Hanzo. "I studied for six years in college learning information that I later found was all available on YouTube. I'd just forgotten that some people never attended."

"Nah, I getcha." McCree replied.

"Did you go to highschool?"

"I was enrolled. Didn't usually make it inside."

"What is the extent of your education?"

"Magic School Bus."

"I'm beginning to suspect we've led very different lives."

"You think?"

Hanzo let himself smile.

"My apologies." he said. "I have a tendency to state the obvious."

"Yeah, I got that impress..."

McCree trailed off.

"What?" asked Hanzo.

"Got that impress...Got that..."

Confused, Hanzo turned over his left shoulder to see that McCree had slowed to a stop. Hanzo stopped in his tracks.

"Everything's..." McCree started, staring off at nothing, "everything's getting all...fuzzy."

Hanzo was very confused when McCree fell to the ground with a clunk.

The weight pack clattered off his shoulders.

"McCree?" Hanzo asked.

There was no reply. McCree's body was curled into a loose little ball, with his face out of sight.

"McCree?" Hanzo repeated as he walked up.

Once again, there was no reply. Hanzo gave McCree a tiny kick with his foot to see if he responded.

He didn't.

Hanzo rolled McCree onto his back to see that his eyes were closed. Thankfully, the rise and fall of his chest indicated he was still breathing, but when Hanzo carefully pried one of McCree's eyelids open, he found that most of his iris was swallowed by black.

He was clearly unconscious.

Hanzo scratched his chin in confusion. Besides some minor resistance, McCree had given no indication that he'd been so exhausted.

Seeing nothing else to do, Hanzo removed the two weight packs from his shoulders. With a grunt, Hanzo lifted McCree's body into a fireman's carry. McCree was heavy but manageable. Hanzo guessed that although McCree was taller, they were about the same weight.

Hanzo looked out over the track with a sudden temptation to see if he could run a lap with McCree on his shoulders. But he managed to ignore the temptation, as McCree obviously needed help. And besides, Hanzo supposed he could get about the same amount of exercise if he jogged to the clinic. So on swift feet, Hanzo took off for the clinic.

Luckily, he didn't run into anyone along the way.

He made his way to Angela's clinic with the help of a map. When he walked in, he found her behind a simple wooden desk, reading a novel. She barely looked up as the door closed behind him.

"Can I help you?" Angela asked.

Hanzo didn't reply, just cleared his throat. Angela looked away from her book. Immediately, her eyes went wide.

"Oh!" she followed, springing up from behind her desk. "Right this way."

Hanzo followed Angela through a door just next to her desk, and then into another room that was through the first door to their right.

It was a simple room, just like any other clinic room Hanzo had ever been in. He laid out McCree's body across the cot like Angela asked.

"Tell me what happened." Angela instructed as she pressed a stethoscope against McCree's chest.

"We were running." answered Hanzo. "He fainted without warning."

"How far did you run?"

"About two kilometers."

"How fast?"

"Twelve or thirteen kilometers per hour. He was also carrying ten kilograms of weight."

Angela grit her teeth and turned her head towards Hanzo.

"And why were you doing that?" she asked.

Hanzo didn't know how to answer. Unsure, he opened and closed his mouth without words.

"Were you trying to run him into the ground?" Angela followed, a bit more sharply.

"No," Hanzo stumbled, "I--"

"Are you aware of how exerting the activity you just described is?"

"McCree is very well trained."

"Yes, in marksmanship and general combat. That does not make him an Olympic runner."

Hanzo couldn't shake the feeling that Angela thought he was at fault.

"I made a few suggestions as to how we could more efficiently push ourselves, and he accepted all of them." he explained. "McCree gave no verbal indication he was in discomfort."

"That's what men do." Angela replied.

"...What?"

"That's what men do. They don't tell others when they're in pain. How do you not know this?"

Hanzo didn't understand.

Angela sighed and rubbed her temples. She turned back to McCree.

"You may leave now." she said.

Hanzo left.

He didn't see McCree for three days after that. They still didn't end up sharing any assignments, and despite McCree's claim that he ran two miles every morning, Hanzo didn't see him in the gym or the track even though he'd looked every day. Lonely and bored, Hanzo briefly considered searching other areas of Watchpoint, but refrained out of fear of having to make more introductions.

Hanzo couldn't help but feel more than a little disappointed.

He finally managed to run in McCree again in the weight room, right before the afternoon. Hanzo'd just been finishing up a set with the bench press when McCree wandered in. Hoping he didn't seem too desperate, Hanzo waved him over.

McCree complied with an unreadable expression. But to Hanzo's relief, he smiled as he settled in into close range.

"Hello." Hanzo greeted as he continued to pump.

"Howdy."

"How is your health?"

"It's alright, but..."

McCree rubbed the back of his head.

"...I, uh, I don't really wanna talk about that." he finished.

"Very well. I will ask no more."

There was a short moment of silence as McCree simply stared at Hanzo while he lifted the bar. Hanzo eyed him back with curiosity.

"What are you thinking about?" McCree asked. "You look like you were thinking about something."

"I am considering the mistakes made by Napoleon Bonaparte."

"Planning on conquering the new world?"

"Not as of now, but if the opportunity arises itself, I wouldn't be opposed."

”Hmm.”

Hanzo's eyebrow raised at McCree's skeptical tone, sensing the opportunity in his disapproval for a discussion.

"I take it you are opposed to world domination?" Hanzo asked, innocently enough.

"Well, I am," McCree stumbled, "but, uh..."

"Yes?"

"Don't really got the time to talk about it. I'm sorry. I just came in here to grab the dirty towels, and Morrison's gonna be on my back if I hold him up."

"...Oh. I understand."

McCree nodded and walked to the corner where he grabbed the bag of used towels off the hook. He then made his way to the door where he'd entered.

"Catch you later, though." McCree said as he left.

From that point on, Hanzo began to suspect that something was off. The coming few days, he didn't see much of McCree at all, besides passings in the hallway that were friendly but brief. Hanzo couldn't help but feel he had misinterpreted McCree's initial friendliness as the start of a friendship.

Or perhaps McCree had just changed his mind.

Still, Hanzo felt a constant urge to capture his attention once again. He continued to go to the gym in the morning, but only ever caught McCree when he was always just leaving. Hanzo even volunteered for a daytime assignment on top of the two he'd already been given in the hopes they'd get put together again, but ended up getting paired with Lena instead.

Lena still didn't like him. Which was fine, because Hanzo didn't like Lena either.

"Leaving already?" Hanzo asked as McCree threw a towel over his shoulder and began to exit the track, walking past Hanzo as he did.

In McCree's ears were small, white buds, from which Hanzo could hear the muffled sound of twangy steel guitar.

"Yeah." McCree replied as he ran his eyes over Hanzo from head to toe. "Think I might be coming down with something."

"Hmm."

"Why the long face?"

"It is nothing."

"Don't like my music?"

It took Hanzo a moment to realize that Jesse had misinterpreted his disappointment as disapproval for the music seeping from his headphones.

"You slander me." Hanzo replied with the tentative start of a grin. "I have quite a fondness for genres that feature the economically challenged banging together kitchen appliances and calling it art."

McCree smiled back. Hanzo glowed with satisfaction.

"Sorry, honey." said McCree. "Reckon not everybody can afford real instruments and the coke habit to appreciate them."

Hanzo chuckled, and McCree's smile widened.

"I could write a country hit." Hanzo claimed once he was done laughing.

"Really now."

"Who couldn't?"

Still smiling, McCree scoffed and turned his head to the side in dismissal. Hanzo wondered if he really could write a country song.

"Catch you later, pardner." McCree muttered.

That was all McCree gave him for the rest of the week. Hanzo burned with frustration. Even with his new job and projects of his own, Hanzo still found himself with far too much time on his hands.

By the time the first Tuesday rolled around, McCree seemed to have given up on going to the gym entirely. Hanzo did his best not to think about it as he finished his set, opting instead to force himself to consider his first private lesson with Ana Amari.

There were five Overwatch senior staff members. Winston, Angela Ziegler, Ana Amari, Reinhardt Wilhelm, and Jack Morrison. Hanzo hadn't met Reinhardt or Ana, but that was about to change.

Hanzo's ears perked on alert as the ground beneath himself and the leg press he was using began to tremble. Apparently, he was no longer alone in the weight room. He brought his head up, but quickly realized he needed to bring it up even farther.

The word 'man' would have been a misnomer to what this entity resembled. He had the proportions of a bodybuilder, but his body stretched well over seven feet in the air. His torso alone looked like it weighed as much as two normal people. On his body, he wore simple track pants and a white sweatshirt that certainly had not been purchased at a corner store.

"Hello!" the giant greeted in a voice that shook the walls as he waved a hand the size of a donkey's head.

" _Hah_." Hanzo replied.

"You are Hanzo Shimada, yes? Genji's brother?"

Hanzo could only nod in response. Although the giant had a smile plastered to his wide, bearded face, Hanzo felt a distant fear for his life.

"My name is Reinhardt Wilhelm!" the giant shouted. "Welcome to Overwatch, my friend!"

Reinhardt was the largest hominid Hanzo had ever seen, including Winston. He didn't seem to be at all put off by Hanzo's gawking, which Hanzo took to mean he was very used to it. His accent was German, although Hanzo didn't notice.

"I--I--my apologies." Hanzo stammered.

"It's alright! I get the feeling that no one warned you of myself?"

"...No."

Still smiling, Reinhardt extended a massive hand.

Hanzo stood up from the bench he'd been using to get some height, but found it didn't make much of a difference. He accepted the gesture of a handshake, and did his best not to yelp as his fingers were nearly crushed.

"Have you been enjoying your time here?" Reinhardt asked.

Hanzo had not been enjoying his time anywhere in a long while, but for one of the first times in his life, he found he didn't have the heart to voice it.

"Yes." Hanzo replied. "I suppose I have."

"Wonderful! Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Would you give me the location of the private range? I am meeting Commander Amari there in ten minutes."

"Of course! That way--"

Reinhardt pointed.

"--down the hall and take a left at the end of the hall, and then a right at the crates." he finished.

"Thank you."

Hanzo grabbed his bow and scurried out of the weight room as quickly as he could manage. Reinhardt waved him goodbye.

His directions ended up being accurate. Hanzo found Ana in minutes without the help of a map.

Ana was leaning up against the side of a hallway next to a heavy metal door. Hanzo had seen Ana's picture before when he'd read about her. She looked about twenty years older now than she had. The most noticeable difference with her appearance was that she had a patch over her right eye, indicating she had lost it. Why she wouldn't have gotten it replaced, Hanzo didn't know.

"Hello." she greeted.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

Hanzo was still as Ana looked him up and down. He wished he could glean anything from the expression on her face, but she made it very difficult to.

"Would you like to do introductions now, or would you like to wait until we're shooting?" asked Ana.

"Shooting. I prefer to complete multiple tasks at the same time, if it's possible."

"Very well. Follow me."

Hanzo followed Ana to the heavy door and watched as she reached out towards a small lock pad on the wall next to it that read 'senior authorization required'. She pressed her finger against it, and the door opened.

Ana led Hanzo into the range.

Hanzo had taken a visit to the public ranges at Watchpoint a few times. They'd been pretty standard, just some targets with a wide variety of movement options. The clearing Ana took him into was much larger, however, big enough to be its own wing of Watchpoint. The layout was like a playground of buildings, with small robots either standing stationary or running through on set paths. Hanzo couldn't see most of the range, but he could tell they were on the left side of it.

"We used to let anyone in here all the time." Ana said as they stepped inside. "But as of last year, we no longer."

"What happened?"

"McCree and your brother got intoxicated and stole a training robot in the hopes they could help it develop sentience."

Hearing McCree's name sent a tiny prick of pain into Hanzo's chest, but he ignored it.

"...Why?" Hanzo asked.

"They said they wanted to let it experience love. Now this area is only used for private lessons."

Hanzo was unsure how to respond. Ana led him to an area just down the line from two stationary bots tight against the wall, and Hanzo put a hand on the bow over his shoulder.

"I have been meaning to say." Ana started, her face reluctant. "I see you've brought your bow."

"Yes." Hanzo replied.

"Jack and I have decided it would be better if you switched to a rifle. I understand you have experience with archery, but the fact is that a bow simply cannot--"

"My bow can produce its own arrows and summon the spirits of ancient dragons."

Ana blinked.

"Can you demonstrate?" she asked.

Hanzo nodded. In sequence, he willed the bow to produce a set of arrows and fired them all into the head of the closest bot. The bot went down after the second arrow, so the other four just embedded themselves into the wall behind it.

"How does it do that?" Ana followed.

"I'm not sure."

Ana rubbed her chin with her hand.

"Jack and I have decided to let you continue with your bow." she stated.

Hanzo felt the warm glow of small victory. The day he picked up a rifle over his bow would come later than the day he picked up a sword again.

Ana walked over to a panel on the wall behind them and began to feed it inputs. She worked too quickly for Hanzo to get a good look, although he did see the words 'sniper training' flash on the screen.

All of the bots took a seat on the ground.

"Put these on." Ana instructed as she reached into her bag.

"Put what on?" asked Hanzo.

"These."

Ana handed Hanzo a pair of wide rimmed glasses. Hanzo slipped them on without thought.

The scene before Hanzo changed. Although the technical layout stayed the same, the industrial theme of Watchpoint was replaced by that of a battlefield hellscape, with decimated buildings and helicopters flying through the orange sky.

"Are you ready to rescue some civilians?" Ana asked.

"I suppose so." Hanzo chuckled.

Ana nodded and pointed to a high ledge Hanzo's right. Hanzo watched as a sniper materialized on the ledge with a flash of blue light.

He examined the sniper to see it took the form of a tall female with alien-like blue skin and dark hair. Hanzo couldn't see her that well, but he could just make out that her facial features were Northern European. Her attire was a skin-tight, shiny purple bodysuit, and her waist and hip proportions were what Hanzo could only describe as distracting.

Hanzo pinned an arrow through her head before she could even pull out her gun.

"Very good." said Ana.

Another sniper appeared on a different platform, one a bit farther away. It had the same model as the last. Hanzo pulled down his goggles for just a quick second to see that she was just another bot.

"Is there a reason why all these simulated enemies take the form of the same blue woman?" Hanzo asked as he shot her through the head.

"...No." Ana replied.

Another sniper appeared. This time, she pulled up her gun quick enough to make a shot that thundered out in a long red beam. Hanzo dodged it easily and took her down.

Ana was quiet as Hanzo worked, only speaking up to point out targets. The snipers popped up more and more frequently as time went on, and their draw speed increased. Hanzo eventually found himself needing to incorporate dodging, using cover, and consideration of the timing of the sniper's shots to kill them all without getting hit. Ana followed close by the whole time. Hanzo could tell she was trying to judge his skill set.

"Do you mind if I join you?" she asked.

"I do not."

Ana disappeared for a short moment and returned with a rifle. As soon as she took aim, the snipers began to target her as well.

Hanzo watched her shoot out of the corner of his eye. She was quick to the draw and highly accurate, perhaps even more so than himself. He'd been expecting it, but it was impressive to watch nonetheless.

"Why did you abandon the assassin's art?" Hanzo asked.

"I was never an assassin. I only killed because it was necessary."

Hanzo didn't reply. He was confused by her answer, as he didn't consider the two concepts to be anywhere near mutually exclusive.

Finally, the simulation was over when Hanzo took a synthetic bullet to the head. His vision turned red, at least until he removed the glasses.

"A good time to stop, anyway." said Ana. "I'm meeting with my next student in ten minutes."

Hanzo nodded and followed her back the way they'd come. He handed her the glasses once they'd gotten to the door.

"Were you satisfied with my performance?" Hanzo asked.

"Besides myself and agent McCree, you are the most accurate shot I've seen in twenty years." Ana replied. "I am satisfied."

"Thank you."

"But I would like to work on your draw speed. You are not anywhere near too slow, but I believe you could improve."

"Very well."

Hanzo was about to take another step back towards the door when Ana began to sift through her bag.

"Wait." she said. "There is something I must give you."

"What is it?"

Hanzo watched as Ana pulled out several needles. She removed the protective plastic from one after putting the others back in her bag.

"I am going to inject a small capsule into the skin between your shoulder and breast." Ana explained. "The capsule is filled with cyanide and upon being bitten and exposed to saliva will--"

"Oh. There may be no need." Hanzo interrupted.

"Pardon?"

Out of habit, Hanzo took a quick glance around him to make sure there were no cameras nearby. When he began to speak, he did so very quietly.

"I have a metal ball filled with nanobots installed at the top of my spinal cord." he replied. "With a sequence of emotional distress, rapid eye movements, and thought commands, I can obliterate my entire body into stray molecules in a tenth of a second. Even if I am paralyzed from the neck down."

Hanzo was unsure why Ana looked so disturbed.

"So in that case, you will not be needing the injection?" Ana asked.

"Um..."

Trailing off, Hanzo thought to himself for a moment.

"I suppose it would do me no harm to have another method in the circumstance that I fail to become distressed enough to initiate the sequence." he said. "I would like the injection."

With a stone face, Ana walked forward with the needle. Hanzo loosened his kimono to allow access to his chest. He only felt a pinch as Ana injected the capsule near his left shoulder.

"Would you be opposed to giving me one in the right side as well?" Hanzo asked once she'd finished.

"I guess not." Ana replied.

After Ana finished with the second capsule, she pulled away. Hanzo hadn't realized it until she had finished, but Ana's hands were very warm.

"Well, this has been weird." Ana followed as she put the needle away and opened to the door. "I will see you next week."

Hanzo gave Ana a quick bow before stepping through the door. He did his best not to flinch when he noticed McCree was waiting outside.

"Hey." McCree greeted.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

"Morrison put you with Ana, huh."

"Yes."

McCree barely gave a nod as he walked past and ended the conversation. The door to the range closed behind him.

Although Hanzo had originally been prepared to spend his time at Overwatch in complete solitude, he wasn't sure anymore that he'd be able to handle the extent of the relationship he had with the person he'd found himself liking the most to be nothing but four-line exchanges in the hallway.

So Hanzo hatched a plan. After leaving the range, he made his way to the dinner hall. Just to his luck, his brother was there.

"May I speak to you for a moment?" Hanzo asked as he scooted up next to Genji and the tea maker.

Genji looked up from the coffee he'd poured himself and nodded. Hanzo quickly led them to the closest open table.

"Tell me what you wish to speak about." Genji said after they'd seated themselves.

Hanzo was more than a little reluctant to seek out Genji, although he supposed it had to be done.

"I wanted to ask you what you knew of North American culture." Hanzo answered. "The United States, in specific."

Genji's eyes lit up.

"I am very glad you came to me." he replied. "I am an expert on North American culture."

"What are your qualifications."

"I've known three entire people from the states. And I even attended a North American history course once in grade school."

"...Very well. Tell me what you know."

Genji nodded.

"Essentially, the United States is split up into two Providences." Genji started. "New York, and Texas."

"What are they like?" asked Hanzo.

"Very different. The New Yorkers are afraid of corporations while the Texans are afraid of the government. And the New Yorkers try to use government to give corporations less power while the Texans try to use corporations to give the government more power. They kill each other on sight."

"I understand."

"Good. The New Yorkers are mean to everyone because they spend most of their days in traffic. The Texans are very nice as long as you are not a Mexican. But also many of them are Mexicans."

"...I understand."

Genji nodded again.

"North American culture is very consumerist." he continued. "This is because of a man named Martin Luther King."

"I understand."

"Martin Luther King was the nephew of Sigmund Freud. He used Freud's ideologies to create a culture that ingrained consumerism into everything from romance to their social rights movements, led by Edward Bernays. Martin Luther King thought that the only way to distract Americans from their lust for war was consumerism."

"What are they like politically?"

Smiling hard, Genji clapped his hands.

"From what McCree has told me of North American politics, this is what I've gathered." said Genji. "They have two political parties; the National Committee of Republican'ts and the National Committee of Undemocrats."

"They're...Are they truly named that?" asked Hanzo.

"Yes. Everyone hates them, but the New Yorkers hate the Republican'ts more while the Texans hate the Undemocrats more."

"I understand. Is there anything else I should know about them?"

"Yes. They are very stupid."

"...Thank you Genji."

"You're welcome!"

Genji left without a falter to his smile.

Hanzo wasn't completely satisfied with the information his brother had given him. So in an act of desperation for McCree's attention, Hanzo did the unthinkable: he listened to forty hours of country music.

It wasn't just music, either. Whenever he could find the time, Hanzo watched as many classic Westerns as he could get his hands on. He quickly fell in love with their aesthetic, syntax, downright absurd levels of vigilantism, and unbelievably amusing portrayals of the Japanese. He even studied up on Southern and Southwestern politics. For three days, he learned everything he could about the United States, from the civil war of 1861 to the civil war of 2022. Once he'd finished, he began to scheme.

Step one was finding someone in the music industry. It proved itself to be quite an easy step, as Hanzo was now coworkers with Lucio Correia dos Santos. After writing up a proposal, Hanzo made sure to run into Lucio in the breakroom.

Hanzo had listened to a bit of Lucio's music the night before. It had surprised him, to say the least. Mostly because the music contained no words. As for the rhythms, Hanzo had never been a fan of electronica, but he did manage to appreciate the authenticity of Lucio's work. From the experimentive nature of his sound to his lack of reliance on repetition, it was obvious that Lucio had real passion for what he was creating.

However, none of this was relevant to what Hanzo needed.

"You want to write a single?" Lucio asked. "Why?"

"A social experiment." Hanzo answered.

Lucio was silent as he took another look at Hanzo's written proposal. Hanzo had never worked with the music industry in specific, but he knew the road to getting a deal with Lucio would require copious amounts of convincing, especially considering his lack of starting funds.

"Alright. Looks good." said Lucio, sliding the proposal back to Hanzo.

"Huh--what?"

"What?"

Hanzo stared. Lucio stared back with an expression that was much too nonchalant.

"Do you have no worries of me writing a flop and losing you money?" Hanzo asked.

"Flop away, man." Lucio replied. "I got plenty of money."

Mouth threatening to fall open, Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

"Your response implies you are a freedom fighting music composer and disc jockey who is...genuinely invested in your own cause?" Hanzo mused.

"Yeah." Lucio replied with a shrug. "Free the people."

"...Huh."

Although Hanzo still strongly disagreed with whatever Woodstock-commune system of government Lucio probably was pushing for, he was suddenly no longer able to hate him for it.

"Can we start tomorrow?" Hanzo asked.

"Sure. I'll hook you up with some interns over Skype."

They worked out the details.

Hanzo got little sleep that night, as he was too busy working out the tune of the piece. After a few hours of trying to compile every basic pattern of country music into one piece, he eventually realized he wasn't a composer at heart and settled on simply weaving together specific instrumental sections of various nineteenth century Italian arias, upping the tempo, and replacing all the piano and violin with banjo and fiddle.

It was very nice to have something to do.

By the time he was in the Skype call the next morning, all he was riding on were three cups of coffee.

"This is the demographic we will be pushing towards." Hanzo explained to the Brazilian business interns on the other end of his call as he pointed to a map of the United States. "Blue-collar, low income people who live outside of cities in small collectives on rural farm land. These farm lands are most heavily distributed alongside the bottom left of North America, from Arizona to North Carolina."

Hanzo ran his pointer over the collection of states he was referring to.

"I have studied these people and their culture." he continued. "Their most fundamental value is living a peaceful, modestly paced life, which they consider to bring greater honor than a high standard of living. They value small pleasures, such as driving in windowless farming vehicles, drinking low quality beer out of a can, making bird boxes with their own hands, and making subtle but transparent references to their love of copulation."

Suddenly parched, Hanzo paused for a moment to get a sip of water.

"The lyrics of country songs tend to lie on a spectrum from detailed, personal stories to a general list of imagery and values. Obviously, we should lean more heavily towards a general list."

"What are their core philosophies?" asked an intern. "North Americans are individualists, correct?"

Hanzo's eyes lit up. He'd been waiting for someone to ask that.

"It is very complicated." Hanzo answered. "On one hand, they are blatantly anti-authority. But on the other, they are an agrarian, highly communal people. I pondered for hours over this question until I finally decided to simply dissect my understanding of what collectivism and individualism were. What I eventually realized is that, at least from my understanding of the words, they are both spectrums of two philosophies rather than simply one."

"Please observe the following schematic." Hanzo ordered.

"Did you make that in paint?" one of the interns asked.

"...Unimportant."

"Why did you use comic sans?"

Hanzo cleared his throat. He only started to speak again once the interns stopped giggling.

"As represented by this red dot, the most average southerner falls in an undeclared ground. They are anti-authority, but pro-community. The way I would describe their philosophies--"

Overwhelmed by fascination, Hanzo cut himself off with a sudden inhale.

"They believe that human beings are inherently altruistic, and therefore believe that allowing each person to define altruism for themselves will in turn maximize altruism." Hanzo finished in wonder. "Obviously they are misguided, but I thought this of interest nonetheless. That being said, you'll not find any true individualists unless you go to states with better economies. Is everyone following?"

The interns murmured that they did.

"Good. Politically, people who reside in these areas range from center wing libertarians to right wing republicans. As is the case with all North Americans, they are extremely unhappy with the state of the government and it is in our direct interest to pander to them politically. Our best bet is to speak poorly of large government, as although libertarian and republican ideologies vary significantly, they both advocate for stripping the federal government of its power. Yes, I also fail to understand their logic."

"How directly should we address the government?" asked another intern.

"Be pointed enough to bring listeners catharsis, but too vague to pander towards one group more than the other or to give instructions towards any political action. Perhaps if we provide enough wistful imagery, we can even attract some Midwestern democrats who enjoy hiking."

The meeting went well. Hanzo sent the interns a few example country albums so they could learn the syntax, as well as the instrumental part he'd written the night before. The next day went just as well. For his final review, the interns sent him back lyrics that followed his instructions with beautiful perfection. Hanzo only had to make a few corrections before he sent it off to the actual musicians, only requesting that the Brazilians found real North Americans to be featured.

With the help of a word generator he programmed himself, Hanzo named the song _Lone Wolf, Free My Soul._

Now all Hanzo had to do was wait a few days, most of which he spent arguing on the phone with radio stations. Lucio had given him a lawyer, but Hanzo had insisted it wasn't necessary.

"I want the five o'clock time slot." Hanzo said as he paced. "And--"

Hanzo cut himself off as he noticed his brother was standing in his doorway. Hanzo grit his teeth. Genji had never been one for knocking.

"I'm on the phone." Hanzo told him.

"I want to talk to you." said Genji.

"And I am on the phone."

"Why are you doing this?"

Hanzo stared. He had no idea how to answer such a question, especially to his brother.

"It is no concern of yours." Hanzo replied. "Leave."

"Are you not aware of how foolish you're being? This will surely backfire."

"How did you even find out about this?"

"Lucio told Angela. Angela told me."

Perhaps Genji was truly trying to do the right thing and not just force Hanzo into madness, but that didn't change the fact that Hanzo was one, on the phone, and two, certainly not going to back down after getting so far. So without a word, he pointed at the door.

Genji groaned but reached for the knob anyway.

"If I wanted someone's attention, I would speak to them outright." he said as he twisted it. "I would not work long hours just to risk insulting them."

There was a click as Genji shut the door behind him.

"My apologies." Hanzo said to the manager on the other end of the line. "Where were we?"

By the time Saturday rolled around, the song had dropped. And by Sunday, everyone had heard about it. Although Hanzo didn't realize this until he wandered into the breakroom in search of coffee, just past noon.

"How's it going, Top Forty?" asked Morrison.

Hanzo darted his eyes around the break room. Lucio, McCree, Hana, Morrison, Angela, and Mei sat around the table while Reinhardt and Lena sat on the couch. Hanzo wasn't sure if there were usually so many people in the breakroom, or if it was just coincidental to the two times he'd been inside it.

"I assume Genji informed you all?" he asked.

"You assumed correctly." Hana replied.

Hanzo glared at his brother. Genji shrugged.

"Hanzo, your song is in the right next to the bullseye of Entertainment Weekly." Hana said, holding up an American magazine.

"Congratulations." Morrison replied. "That's almost half as good as an endorsement from a real magazine."

Quickly, Hanzo took another glance around the table. It was only then that he noticed the blank expression of McCree's face, and the fact that McCree was the only one who was avoiding looking him in the eyes.

"How much money did you make?" Genji asked.

Silently, McCree stood up from the table and made his way to the coffee maker. His face quickly fell out of sight.

"I--uh..." Hanzo started as he tried to pry his eyes off of McCree.

"Genji, don't ask people questions like that." Angela scolded.

"Yeah, it's so rude." said Hana. "What you should be asking is what he's going to do with it."

Still moving silently, McCree took his coffee and walked out the door. Considering the large number of people in the room, it wasn't inherently a strange gesture, but Hanzo felt a hot rush of confusion and anxiety nonetheless.

"My apologies. What are you going to do with the money you made?" asked Genji.

"Genji..." Angela muttered.

"I appreciate the support you all seem to have for my success." Hanzo replied. "But--"

"Well." Lena interrupted. "It's not like anyone was surprised."

There was a low snicker as everyone but Mei and Lucio began to chuckle in agreement. Although Hanzo wasn't sure what they were agreeing on.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

"It's not all like that." Morrison replied. "Just the bottom part."

Hanzo got the feeling he was missing something.

"Look, Hanzo." said Hana. "North Americans fall for anything. You could have just banged on a washboard and sung off key about how your wife left you for a tractor and you still would have sold out."

"I guess the East Coast is pretty bad too." Morrison continued to himself. "You'll get trampled to death in the street."

"I could have done this with any culture." Hanzo replied.

"And if you go too far West, the commies will tax your dick off." said Morrison.

"Doubt it, love." Lena replied, shaking her head. "The English are just too educated."

"And I don't even wanna know what's going on in Florida." Morrison mumbled.

"What? Why is everyone looking at me like that?" Lena followed.

"But Indiana's nice." Morrison finished.

"You guys are kinda...snobby." Hana said to Lena. "And you talk like weirdos."

"Snobby? Beg your pardon."

 _"Oi, look at me. I'm from England. We used to own everything until Asia started winning._ "

Lena made a face. Reinhardt started to laugh, shaking the table as he did.

"Oh, laugh it up, mate." Lena spat. "Just like the Germans did when they started all four world wars."

Reinhardt frowned.

"You have hurt me." he replied sadly.

"Maybe we should all be more like South Koreans." Hana announced.

" _Bias._ " Genji coughed.

"I'm not biased! South Korea is one of the happiest and most developed countries on earth. According to every study."

"Development is usually caused by ecological circumstance, not culture." Mei replied. "And although culture is also caused by ecological circumstance, this only means that--"

"Who conducted those studies?" Angela asked Hana.

Hana pulled out her phone. After typing in a few words to the search bar, she squinted at the screen.

"South Korea." she answered.

"Very interesting!" Genji replied.

With a click of her tongue, Angela pulled out her own phone.

"When I look up the real statistics," Angela started, "I get that Switzerland is one of the smartest, happiest, and most ethical countries in the world alongside many other European countries. Every result."

"Yeah, I'm sure all of the three people who live there can enjoy it." Lena grumbled.

"And who did _those_ studies?" asked Hana.

Angela scrolled for a moment.

"...Unimportant." she answered.

"Perhaps the information we view is very dependent on our background because of our respective country's biases and interests." said Mei. "How would you even conduct such a study?"

"Do you really think the government would do that, Mei?" Hana mocked. "Go on the internet and tell lies?"

"Of course not! The government is our friend." Lena replied.

"German culture is the best! Everyone else makes terrible beer!" Reinhardt argued.

"I think everyone's culture is interesting and insightful in its own way." said Mei. "We should all be kind to each other and work together to achieve our common goals."

"Screw that." Hana replied. "Let's have a race war!"

Hanzo rubbed his temples as Hana began to bang her fists against the table and chant in favor of a racially motivated war. He supposed this was all his responsibility.

"Please calm down. I would like to sort this out." Hanzo announced.

To his surprise, it worked. Everyone turned loosely towards his direction.

"I could have done this to any middle to working class culture, that exists or has existed." he started. "No one's culture is better than North Americans at a sizable enough margin that they would not have fallen for another pandering piece of music. You are all just biased."

To his surprise, everyone slowly nodded in agreement.

"The only culture who might have even had a chance would have been the Japanese." Hanzo added.

Hanzo was unsure as to why he was booed.

"Hypocrite!" Lena called.

"I'm not biased!" Hanzo replied. "I'm using logic."

Personally, Hanzo couldn't say that he loved his national culture. There were many things he didn't like about the Japanese, such as their ignorance, their pointless cruelty, their nearly random restrictions of their sexualites, as well as their lack of ability to differentiate causation with correlation. However, after growing a bit older and becoming exposed to many other cultures, he'd learned two things. One, that his criticisms of the Japanese were more simply criticisms of humanity as a whole, and two, that he at least found the culture to be a bit more sane than everyone else's.

"Ah yes, work until you die." Angela remarked. "Break business people over a problem until it's solved. Very smart and ethical."

"That is not always the case." Genji said proudly. "One time, I went twenty years without doing _anything_."

"You guys know you're all elitists, right?" Lucio asked.

Along with everyone else, Hanzo turned to Lucio, who'd been silently eating his sandwich. As Lucio made eye contact back at their surprised glares, he took another bite.

"Huh?" asked Lena.

"Well, just think about it for a minute, man." Lucio started, covering his mouth as he chewed. "There's like, ten million cultures in the world. Why would yours be the most ethical or made up of the smartest people? Numbers don't add up."

No one replied. Lucio put down his sandwich and sighed.

"The reason you all think your own culture is the best one is because of your development." he continued. "You only see the ways that it's better than other people's. But you're less likely to notice the all the stupid, fucked up shit about your culture cause you've been around it since you were a little kid. Take psych 101, dude."

Hanzo felt two notes of surprise, both independent from each other. The first was that in his earlier thought that Japanese culture was more sane than the rest of the world, there was a high likelihood he'd been confusing sanity with familiarity.The second come from the shock of learning that someone like Lucio could had an understanding of statistics and psychology. Hanzo even managed to feel a strange moment of kinship with Lucio, as Lucio had done one of Hanzo's favorite things; used math to prove other people's values were stupid and dumb.

"The hippie is right." Hanzo announced. "It is unlikely the case that any of the founding philosophies behind our respective cultures are objectively better. We should learn from each other to create more intricate, sound philosophies."

"Duh." Mei replied.

"I can't believe Lucio just murdered all of us." said Hana.

Hanzo let his frown soften, just for a moment. It felt grounding to finally accept that upper-class Japanese culture probably wasn't objectively more moral or intelligent than any other upper-class culture. Hanzo was genuinely surprised he'd never managed to have the thought before.

Still, his contentedness was short lived as he remembered McCree. Hanzo felt a sudden urge to excuse himself and pursue him.

To his luck, the room quickly warmed back up again. The topic changed as Hana brought up eSports and several conversations started, creating an environment that Hanzo felt comfortable sneaking off from.

He closed the breakroom door behind him.

Out in the hall, he broke into a jog for utility reasons and began to search. Watchpoint was big, but Hanzo managed to get up and down every hallway and check every building that was available to him in a manner of twenty or thirty minutes. He even double checked some of McCree's favorite places, but found he was nowhere in sight.

Sadly, he stopped by the hall to the agent quarters. In a moment of self-loathing, he remembered that his brother's warning.

 _"If I wanted someone's attention, I would speak to them outright._ " Genji had said. _"I would not work long hours just to risk insulting them._ "

Hanzo grit his teeth. He still had no idea what he'd done wrong, but he was willing to swallow his pride and apologize if it gave him even a chance of understanding. So without another thought, he searched the outside of every agent quarters door until he found the one with McCree's name on it.

It was on the end, just a few doors down from his own. Hanzo knocked sharply on the door. A moment passed, and Hanzo knocked again.

Still nothing. Hanzo was about to leave in favor of drinking alone on his couch when he heard the knob jingle.

"Sorry." McCree said as the door started to open. "Had to put on--"

McCree cut himself off as soon as Hanzo came into view.

"Oh." McCree followed, his face dropping. "What do you want?"

McCree's reaction was like a punch to the gut, but Hanzo did his best to keep his eyes level.

"You are upset with me." Hanzo replied.

Hanzo watched as McCree's expression turned skeptical.

"Yeah. I am." McCree admitted.

"I'm sorry."

"Are you, or are you just an asshole?"

As his brow lowered, Hanzo let his face fall.

"It was not my intent to make you appear foolish." he replied as calmly as he could manage. "I was not aware that you or the others placed any value on any cultural stereotypes associated with intelligen--"

"Is that what you think this is about?"

Hanzo shut his mouth for a moment before opening it back up.

"What is it about?" asked Hanzo.

McCree rubbed his forehead.

"Please tell me." Hanzo followed. "I need to understand."

"It's nothing." McCree replied.

"It is not nothing."

"Fine. Do you really gotta be better than me at--at everything?"

Hanzo stared. McCree stared back, his jaw set with uncertainty.

"I don't understand." said Hanzo.

"You don't understand?" McCree asked. "What don't you understand?"

"What I am--" Hanzo stumbled, "why it matters if I am--"

"Look, I know I can't stop it if you can run farther than me, and lift more, and if you're smarter than me--"

"I don't believe I am--"

"Did you know I was the best looking guy before you showed up here?"

Hanzo frowned.

"And for god's sake, you speak English better than I do." McCree followed.

"I can promise you that I will not be a threat to your social status." Hanzo replied. "You are adored here, while I am universally disliked."

With a hand still on the door, McCree sighed and rolled his neck.

"Oh, don't say that." McCree muttered. "Now I feel bad."

"It is true. I have no opinion on the matter."

McCree's face softened, just a bit.

"Look, it ain't about social status, or any of that." he said. "It's just--it just..."

"What?"

"Felt like you were trying to rub it in."

Hanzo's lips parted to let out a tiny noise of understanding. Suddenly, it became clear to him what he had to do.

"I did all of this for your attention." Hanzo blurted.

"You--what?"

Hanzo swallowed before explaining.

"I wanted your attention." he started. "You were not giving it to me. I did not know how to ask why."

Lips parting, McCree's eyebrows shot up. Hanzo felt horribly vulnerable.

"You wanted my attention?" McCree asked.

"How many times must I answer this?" Hanzo replied.

"Alright, fair enough. This just weren't what I was expecting."

"Would you care to tell me why you were avoiding me now?"

McCree took a glance to the right and the left before opening his mouth.

"Thought that would've been clear by now." said McCree.

"It is not." Hanzo replied.

"Fine. I was embarrassed."

"Of what?"

"What do you mean, what? I blacked out in front of you."

Hanzo blinked.

"I did not mind." he replied.

"You didn't? But--well, all that talk about incompetence got me thinking that you must..."

"My disgust with incompetence means I am offended by redundancy and those who create or willingly participate in trite systems that value satisfying selfish desires over collective need."

McCree stared at Hanzo's face. Hanzo got the feeling he was being analyzed.

"Heat exhaustion fails to fall under either of those two categories," Hanzo continued, "at least not in a manner that would render me frustrated towards you for being susceptible to it."

"Well, I guess I can't argue with that." said McCree.

Hanzo said nothing.

"So, uh--you want my attention?" McCree followed.

"I would not be opposed." Hanzo replied.

McCree shot a glance to his left and right before speaking.

"I'm in Dubai tomorrow." he said. "But I'll be back the day after."

"Hmm." Hanzo mused.

"You're welcome to come over, if you'd like."

"What time?"

"How about four?"

"Very well. I will knock."

"Good, then."

"Yes. Good."

McCree opened his mouth again, but nothing came out.

"I will see you at the agreed upon time." Hanzo finished before taking off in a straight line to the right.

Hanzo continued on his way until he made it to his own door. Once he got inside, he took a seat on his couch and experienced the absolute wonder that came from new understanding and having something go so heavily in his favor.


	4. carbon monoxide

_April 15th, 2077_

"I should go." said Genji.

Hanzo stopped staring out the window long enough to remember that his brother was there. He shot Genji a glance over his shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Hanzo asked.

"I want to spend some time in the meeting room." Genji answered. "Although it may be futile, I don't want to miss any potential updates on the situation."

"I understand."

"If I learn anything, you will be the first to know."

"Thank you."

Before he left, Genji stopped for a moment at the door.

"Talon will contact us." he said. "They must want something."

Although Genji's words were kind, Hanzo didn't find the notion that they were, at best, going to have to negotiate with terrorists very comforting. He was silent as Genji left.

After a moment, Hanzo realized he had to get out of his quarters too.

* * *

* * *

_January 11th, 2076_

Hanzo was only a little bit nervous as he knocked on the door to the quarters he knew to be McCree's. And he was only a little bit nervous when McCree answered the door.

It was a strange sensation. Hanzo didn't usually get nervous, even a little.

"Hey." McCree greeted.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

"You're on time."

"Yes."

"To the minute."

"To the second."

"You counted?"

"I wanted to be on time."

McCree's face twisted into something that looked like it was between confusion and mild amusement.

"Would you like to come inside?" he asked.

"Yes."

Nodding, McCree stepped away from the door. Hanzo followed him inside and took a look around.

McCree's quarters were the same size and layout as Hanzo's, although the similarities stopped there. The interior was brown and western, with tall tables and chairs. His couch was made of an old leather, and Hanzo got the feeling he wasn't going to be required to take his shoes off. A good portion of the walls were covered in memorabilia, including but not limited to a round clock, an old street sign, several posters for old westerns, a painting of Jesus that Hanzo recognized as _The Miracle of Bread and Fish_ , and a bounty flyer with McCree's own face on it right above a six million dollar promise. However, what Hanzo was most interested in were two shelves of curious objects pushed up against the wall.

The whole place smelled strongly of fine tobacco.

Hanzo stepped over to the shelves immediately after entering the room. He quickly noticed that McCree had put the page from Valerio's record book up on the shelf, with Diane Roomiaro's name circled in pen, but what Hanzo found more interesting was a small paper novel just to the right.

"May I touch this?" he asked, pointing at the novel.

"At your own risk." McCree replied.

Hanzo nodded and picked up the book for examination. He found it was clearly an old novel, considering that the date of publication was 1962 and the cost of the book, as marked on the side, was only thirty-five cents. The cover featured art of a young man and woman kissing each other passionately before a drunken drifter.

The title of the novel was '[I Want the Hobo to Watch](https://www.google.com/search?q=i+want+the+hobo+to+watch&rlz=1C1CHWA_enUS648US648&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwib-YX_yZfiAhVB7lQKHY79B_oQ_AUIDigB&biw=1920&bih=937#imgrc=nYrazweGKVdolM:)'.

" _The story of beatnick perverts who got their kicks by tantalizing hapless winos._ " Hanzo read from the tagline in wonder. "What is this?"

"Old smut novel. Ana gave that to me." McCree answered.

"Is it of quality?"

"Couldn't tell you. If I'm being honest, I ain't brave enough to read it."

Hanzo chuckled lightly before putting the book back on the shelf. His eyes moved passed a snow globe to a small, transparent square tub filled to the brim with everything from ballpoint pens to fine jewelry, as well as an assortment of colorful bills from all across the world.

At the top of the tub was a silver ring.

"What is this?" Hanzo asked.

"A mark of a problem." McCree answered as he rubbed the back of his head.

Up next after the bucket was a weathered double barrel shotgun. Hanzo moved his eyes passed the gun and a small framed photo of a dark haired woman who looked a bit like McCree posing with it before settling onto a decorated bead chain that held a tiny metal crucifix.

"That is a rosary." Hanzo stated.

"That it is. Kinda surprised you're able to recognize one."

"I've worked with mafia."

Hanzo took a closer look at the rosary. It was a beautiful thing, with round beads made from pink jade and held together by old metal twisted into intricate patterns.

"You did not strike me as a religious man." Hanzo followed.

"It was my mama's."

Hanzo pointed to the painting of Jesus.

"Was that also your mother's?" Hanzo asked.

McCree's expression turned a bit sheepish.

"Look, I, uh," he stumbled, "got a bit of a complicated relationship with religion."

Assuming McCree would elaborate, Hanzo didn't reply.

"It's kind of a long story." McCree followed.

"And I've no place to be."

McCree took the hint with a snicker.

"Would you like to sit down?" he asked.

"Very well."

Hanzo followed McCree to the couch. McCree put his boots on the coffee table immediately after taking a seat. Hanzo placed his hands in his lap.

"Mind if I smoke?" McCree questioned as he pulled a cigar from his front pocket.

"I will never mind if you smoke, provided what you smoke refrains from dropping in quality." Hanzo replied.

"Fair enough."

McCree lit his cigar. Hanzo caught a whiff of the scent he remembered from the radar array a dozen days back.

"Anyway," McCree started. "Town I grew up in was a little fundamental. Well, not the whole town. But the schools were. A lotta rulers were smacked around, if you know what I mean."

"Catholic?"

"And a few other divisions. Even had a couple of Mormons. Now I will say I don't see nothing wrong with--wanting to live by a book. At least, uh, in theory. But personally--"

McCree put his hands up.

"I ain't much for faith." he finished. "Not saying it should be completely knocked, but it isn't for me."

"I understand."

"But, uh, that don't mean I hate everything to do with the bible."

Hanzo cocked his head a bit to the side in interest.

"Elaborate." he ordered.

"Sure." McCree replied. "Regardless of whether any of that shit really happened, I can't really justify seeing it as anything more than a bunch of stories with morals to live your life by."

Hanzo supposed he could agree with that, at least in an inherent sense.

"Now I sometimes find the morals in those stories to be a little archaic," McCree followed, "but I reckon it'd be unfair to expect anything else out of a book so old."

"Hmm." Hanzo hummed.

"What?"

"You are most likely correct that the morals are archaic. But I believe some of the blame could easily lie on simple misinterpretation of the text. The language is ancient."

"Yeah, can't say that ain't another part of it. Though you did just remind me of my least favorite part of organized religion."

"What's that?"

"Organization."

For the second time, Hanzo got the feeling McCree wasn't fond of authority.

"Sorry, I'll be more specific." McCree followed when Hanzo scoffed.

"Please do." Hanzo replied.

"One of the issues that I have--not just with organized religion but with any organization, is when everybody's pushed towards the same interpretation. My mama used to teach me about a lot of the same stories that school did. But she always did it differently than the nuns."

"How do you mean?"

"You ever read the Garden of Eden?"

"Yes. I took a course on Christianity. I know the summary of both testaments, although I've never read them to completion."

"Don't, they're a bit dry. But anyway, in Sunday school, we were taught that Eve was the villain. Or, not exactly the villain, cause I guess that was Satan. But that she was the root of sin, because she gave into her temptation instead of listening to the word of God."

McCree paused for a moment to stare at the rosary on the shelf.

"But?" Hanzo asked.

"But my mama told me that she thought Eve was the hero of the story, for questioning God. Because even though the garden was nice and all that, it was a purgatory. Where they were just supposed to lie around like children all day, doing nothing and knowing shit. Maybe I'm biased, her being my mother and all that, but I reckon I like that version a little better."

For the third time, Hanzo got the feeling McCree wasn't fond of authority.

"May I ask about your fondness of Christ in particular?" Hanzo asked, remembering why he was originally curious.

"Oh. Sure." McCree replied. "I like Jesus a lot. At least, uh, my interpretation of him."

"Tell me."

"Thought he had some good philosophies. Personally, I don't know if I'd ever go...quite as far as he did with all the turning the other cheek stuff, but to me, what he was trying to say was that we really don't gotta hate anyone."

McCree took another drawl of his cigar. He blew the smoke away from Hanzo.

"Now, I don't always adopt that philosophy in practice." he followed with a dark chuckle. "Done my fair share of hating, and I still do. But I like the idea."

Hanzo was silent for a moment while he thought about McCree's had said. Personally, Hanzo had a bit of a complicated relationship with religion as well. On one hand, he wasn't particularly fond of it as a concept, but on the other hand, he considered it important to remember that most of the issues he had with religion were not inherent to religion, and McCree's words served as a reminder to such a thought.

Still, Hanzo wasn't exactly a fan.

"Sorry, I should have asked before I went off." McCree finished. "You got any, uh, beliefs?"

"I am a devout agnostic." answered Hanzo.

"You know, you might be the only man I could hear that from and believe it ain't a joke."

"Besides that, I've considered studying Buddhism. But I'd be hesitant to call that a religion."

"Yeah, right behind you on that one."

"And my meditation rituals do integrate aspects of spirituality from many cultural backgrounds. Although once again, I would be hesitant to call that religion."

McCree looked like he was in genuine agreement as he nodded.

"Ah, I worry semantics will be the death of me." Hanzo followed.

"Not just you, pardner."

Hanzo nodded. Just as he did at least once an hour, he found himself longing for the day when humanity stopped eating paste so they could finally get around to creating a more efficient method of communication than words.

"Can I make a guess about you?" asked McCree.

"A...guess?"

"A guess. About who you are."

Hanzo blinked.

"I am unsure as to why you'd wish to," he replied, "but do as you please."

"Alright then." McCree stated.

"What is your guess?"

"I bet you hate poetry."

So far, McCree had proven himself to have little to no fear of eye contact. Hanzo almost found it intimidating.

"I do hate poetry." Hanzo admitted. "Well, no. I hate poets."

"Really, huh?" asked McCree.

"I hate metaphors. No, I hate bad metaphors."

"That your final answer?"

"Yes. I feel there is a complete lack of understanding in the poetry world of what makes a metaphor acceptable. At least, the world that I have been exposed to."

"And what's that?"

McCree's eyes were bright and his mouth was soft with playful interest. Hanzo was unsure if McCree was aware how attractive it made him look.

"I suppose it comes down to personal preference." Hanzo answered. "But I believe the beauty of a metaphor comes not from the sound of the words themselves. Rather, it comes from how much utility the metaphor provides as a device of description."

After a moment of consideration, McCree made a noise somewhere between a scoff and a laugh.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

"Nothing. I just reckon that's the point of a metaphor."

"Tell that to a poet."

"Hah."

McCree was still smiling when he took another draw of his cigar.

"My judo teacher used to read us poetry with such flowery, frivolous language after sessions." said Hanzo. "It made me want to drown myself."

"Can't blame you for that."

Hanzo felt his mouth soften. He opened his mouth to reply but was cut out by a knock at the door.

McCree looked a bit confused but stood up from the couch anyway.

"Not sure who that could be." McCree said as he left for his door. "Sorry, gimme a minute."

As he walked, McCree stifled his cigar on his arm and put the bud in his front pocket. When he got to the door, he opened it without hesitation.

"Genji?" McCree asked.

From the couch, Hanzo looked up to see his brother standing in the doorway. Upon catching his gaze, Genji gave him a little wave.

Hanzo hoped whatever was happening would be over soon.

"I am installing carbon monoxide alarms." Genji explained as he held up rectangular device and a hand drill. "May I have access to your apartment?"

"...Did my quarters not already have a carbon monoxide alarm?" asked McCree.

"Apparently not."

McCree sidestepped and let Genji in. Hanzo refused to make eye contact with Genji as he passed by.

"How'd you get stuck doing this?" McCree asked Genji.

"I made the grand mistake of pissing off Commander Morrison." Genji replied.

"Shoulda' guessed."

"You two may want to leave. I will be making a substantial amount of noise."

Hanzo looked up as he felt McCree's eyes turn to his face.

"We will go to my quarters." Hanzo told McCree as he stood.

"Sounds good." McCree replied.

"I will be finished in about twenty minutes, if you wish to come back." said Genji.

McCree nodded as Hanzo started walking towards the front door. Genji gave Hanzo a thumbs up while McCree wasn't looking. Hanzo stepped on Genji's toes as he walked by.

Hanzo heard the muffled drilling start as soon as they shut the door behind them. Personally, Hanzo would not have trusted Genji alone with a drill, but McCree didn't seem to mind.

"My quarters are just a few doors down." Hanzo said as he led the way.

"Sounds good."

"I have been meaning to ask. How thin are the walls in this wing?"

"Ain't too bad. I don't hear much."

"Very good."

Hanzo stopped them at his front door. After a moment of recollection, he remembered the code and punched it in.

McCree stepped in first, and Hanzo followed.

"Huh." said McCree as he bent over to remove his boots. "Looks like your brother's place."

"Cleaner, I would assume."

"So far. Hope it stays that way."

"It will. I have an efficient and only mildly compulsive system for organizing my things where I force myself to place everything I own back in its pre-assigned spot per the end of each day."

McCree snickered.

"Why is that funny?" Hanzo asked.

"Oh--uh, nothing."

As they walked out of the doorway, McCree snuck a peek at the thermostat.

"You always keep it so warm in here?" he asked.

"Yes. I prefer to be unclothed when I am alone."

"...Alright then."

Hanzo lead them to the couch. But before either of them could take a seat, McCree stopped to take a look at Hanzo's far shelf.

"What's that?" McCree asked as he pointed to a small duffel bag on the second rack. "Looks like it might explode."

"It contains no explosives. Only silver rounds, an arrow making kit, various types of currency, and six months of freeze dried foods."

As he spoke, Hanzo tossed the bag to McCree so that he could feel how light it was. After examining it, McCree tossed it back.

"Stocking for the apocalypse?" asked McCree.

"Why not?" Hanzo replied.

"Fair enough. What's with the folder?"

Hanzo followed McCree's pointed finger to see it was aimed at Hanzo's work folder.

"That's a...political project I'm working on with my friend Satya." Hanzo explained. "It's too long of a story to get into now."

"Satya, huh? Ain't never heard a name like that before."

"She is Indian."

McCree winced.

"I think you're supposed to say 'Native American'." he replied.

"...What?"

Hanzo's confused glance was only met with a shake of McCree's head. McCree moved his gaze onto the next item, which was the bow propped up against the wall.

"Woah." said McCree. "That thing's huge."

"Yes. It has a draw weight of nearly forty kilograms."

"Christ. You mind if I ask you something a little condescending?"

"I will not know until I hear the question."

"Why don't we take a seat?"

Hanzo nodded and lead the way to the couch. They both sat, leaving about a cushion of distance between the two of them.

"What is your question?" Hanzo asked once they were situated.

"Just...you really gonna run out onto the battlefield with a bow?"

Hanzo wasn't sure if bursting into laughter was an appropriate reaction, but it was the reaction he went with.

"Yes." Hanzo chuckled. "Yes I am."

"Huh..." McCree replied, his eyes rolling off in wonder.

"Do you see something wrong with this?"

"Nah, do whatever you want. Reckon I'm just a bit confused by how...well, I don't know how to put it. You seem like a pretty--rational kinda guy. Real practical, and not too big on dogma."

"What of it?"

"Guess I'm confused by how you still manage to be so traditional."

McCree's eyes flashed to Hanzo's hair ribbon. Hanzo let out a tiny hum of amusement.

"The more aesthetic aspects of my person, and by that I mean the clothing which I wear and the art I choose to enjoy, have more to do with upbringing than any other factor." Hanzo replied. "It's simply what was presented with as normality, and I've refrained from changing that as I don't see it as particularly inferior to any more recent style."

"With you so far." said McCree.

"As for my practices, I find a certain...trustworthiness in philosophies and technologies that have managed to withstand the test of time. Such as the design of a bow, or the practice of meditation, are both concepts that have persisted over the course of generations for a reason."

"Always thought meditation was a...kind of a commercial hoax."

Hanzo chuckled.

"Perhaps to an American." he replied. "Yes, I can admit that spirituality often becomes a market corrupted by economics and lazy misunderstanding."

"Well, yeah, what market don't?"

"That is precisely what I was going to say. Although the distribution of spirituality may be tainted, the inherent act of meditation itself is still a scientifically respected and recommended practice."

McCree's hand brushed through his beard with interest as Hanzo spoke.

"Spirituality is not a concept that is mutually exclusive with scientific understanding." Hanzo followed. "I believe the opposite, in fact."

"Really, now?" asked McCree.

"Yes. I believe one of the original utilities of religion was the spread of our evolving understandings of a variety of subjects. I worry that many modern people fail to realize that the concepts discussed by more ancient people; those of 'spirit' or 'energy', were not always as...hmm, meta-physical as they appeared to be."

"Not meant to be taken literally, you mean." McCree replied with a new smile plastered to his face.

"Yes. But why do you say it like that?"

"Nothing, just realized we're having the same conversation twice."

After a short moment of lag, Hanzo's face broke into a wide smile. After the two of them had finished snickering, Hanzo thought of an unrelated question.

"I must ask." Hanzo started. "Did you listen to my song?"

McCree nodded.

"I did." he replied. "Once."

"Was once all you needed?" asked Hanzo.

"Absolutely. Would it offend you if I said it was crap?"

"Not at all. I was not trying to make art."

"It was crap."

"Really."

"Hell yeah. I've had store brand cereal less generic than that song."

Hanzo chuckled quietly. He supposed that was one way to put it.

"I'm guessing you had to listen to a whole lotta country music to write it." McCree followed.

"An obscene amount."

"What'd you think?"

As he drew in a breath, Hanzo decided to be honest.

"I loved it." he replied.

McCree's eyes softened at Hanzo's words.

"Really." said McCree.

"Yes. I cannot lie. And I will say that although I believe slavery to be unethical--"

"Oh boy, where's this going?"

"--I must admit that the confederacy simply wrote better music than the union."

McCree coughed.

"You know, uh," he started, "New Mexico's got some pretty progressive policies towards omnic rights."

Hanzo glanced over at McCree to see he looked slightly embarrassed, somehow. Hanzo was unsure why.

"Mhh." Hanzo replied.

"What'd you listen to besides that war stuff?" McCree asked.

"Everything I could get my hands on."

"Favorite subgenre?"

"Bluegrass."

"Good choice. What were your favorite songs? Top five."

Hanzo scratched his chin in thought. To his dismay, nothing jumped out at him.

"It all blended together." Hanzo admitted. "But I can recall some titles I found particularly amusing."

"Gimme some titles, then."

" _My Head Hurts, My Feet Hurt, and I Don't Love Jesus._ "

McCree grinned.

"That's Jimmy Buffet." said McCree. "You remember any others?"

"I remembered _I Think My Dog is a Democrat_."

McCree's expression turned slightly embarrassed once again.

"I don't really like to talk about politics." he replied.

"I certainly hope that is a lie."

"...It is. I used to run the black market from New Mexico to Mississippi."

Under his breath, Hanzo sighed with relief.

"Any other favorites?" asked McCree.

 _"Buffalo Gals._ " Hanzo answered reluctantly. "I even remember the song with the title, and I was quite fond of both."

McCree raised an eyebrow with another smile.

"Did you like the tune?" he replied. "Or were you just in it for the, uh, concept?"

"I was in it for the general charm. As for the concept, I'm not opposed, but most likely not as interested as a farmer would be."

With a shake of his head, McCree glanced out of sight.

"I would find it extremely amusing if you fit into this stereotype." Hanzo followed.

"I ain't saying nothing."

"Please?"

McCree sighed.

"Fine." he replied. "I think ladies look better with a proper double chin. But don't tell nobody I said that. Feels rude to have a preference."

Hanzo was confused as to why McCree found having a preference to be rude, but another question popped into his mind worth more interest.

"What about men?" asked Hanzo.

"Huh--what?"

"What is your preference for men?"

It was very subtle, but McCree's face turned slightly pink.

"How'd you--" McCree stammered. "How'd you know I...or were you just guessing?"

"Guessing about what?" Hanzo questioned.

"Does it show?"

"Does what show?"

McCree's face twisted with something Hanzo couldn't determine.

"I, uh, don't really have one." McCree admitted with a voice somewhat quieter than it had been a moment before. "Why you asking?"

"I am simply curious. You don't have to tell me." Hanzo replied.

McCee's face softened, although he still looked a bit tense.

"Ain't sure what to tell you." McCree managed. "I like the little 'v' line that...men get when they--"

McCree cut himself off.

"It doesn't really matter." he followed. "I know it makes me sound like an after school special, but I reckon what's in someone's head really does matter more."

"I agree. You do not sound like an after school special."

"Glad we're on the same page. Mind if we go back to talking about music?"

"I do not mind. Have you listened to Jerry Reid?"

McCree's face lit up.

Hanzo couldn't think of a better way to describe the next hour than pure entertainment. On every subject they turned over, Hanzo found that McCree's opinion was either refreshingly relatable or contradictory in only the most satisfying way possible. The time ended up passing by quickly, and McCree had to go much too soon.

"Guess I gotta fill out some reports." McCree said as he stood. "Thanks for having me over."

"Thank you for coming over, McCree." Hanzo replied.

"You can call me Jesse, if you want."

"Mhh."

"...Same time next week?"

With a tiny hum, Hanzo nodded.


	5. finna woke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE FROM 2020
> 
> I wrote this about six months ago, so I doubt anyone will read this but today while I was rewatching a Jacksfilms video (We Need to Talk About These Tube news... The Jack DeFilms Show) I realized I stole the phrase "finna woke" from Jack. Upon writing this, I had thought I'd come up with it myself, but I now know I hadn't, as I remember having watched this video before.

_April 15th, 2077_

Hanzo had been working at Overwatch for almost a year and a half. He hadn't seen Ana Amari miss a single meeting.

Until now.

He walked by her office a few times with the loose idea of going in and checking up on her, but couldn't bring himself to do it in fear of making things worse. Ana hadn't talked much to Hanzo about her past, but he'd managed to pick up that she'd lost almost everything she'd ever managed to have.

Hanzo thought she deserved better.

* * *

* * *

_  
_

_March 12th, 2076_

Time began to pass more quickly for Hanzo as the days went by. After two whole months, Hanzo felt like he'd actually somewhat into gotten the hang of things.

As he finished up with the last part of his morning workout routine, Hanzo considered the day ahead of him. He was getting sent overnight to South Africa in the midafternoon for a few hours, but what he was more excited about was the shooting competition that he'd set up with McCree a few days prior.

His phone buzzed just as he was leaving the weight room. Hanzo examined it to see that Genji had left him a text asking him how he was settling in.

Hanzo hated texting, which was how he justified continuing to ghost his brother.

The competition with McCree didn't start for another hour, so Hanzo figured he'd better get some food. After stopping by his quarters to shower and change, Hanzo took off for the breakroom instead of the meal hall.

There were usually less people in the breakroom.

Hanzo's phone buzzed again as he neared in on the breakroom. He grit his teeth to see it was another text from Genji, one that corrected a grammar mistake he'd sent in the first text. And Hanzo grit his teeth even harder when Genji sent a third text, correcting a misspelling he'd made in his grammar correction.

As Hanzo reached for the keypad next to the breakroom door, he wondered if there was a way he could make his brother's day just a little bit worse.

The door opened to reveal that the breakroom was not as empty as Hanzo had hoped. Five individuals, including Genji, occupied the room. They were all centered around a large green and grey statue of some sort of animal. Hanzo was about to turn on his heels and leave out of a lack of interest before the statue turned its head to him and blinked.

It wasn't a statue, it was an omnic. Hanzo should have known. He supposed an omnic gave him a low level of interest in whatever they were all up to, so he entered the room and made a plan to eavesdrop while he ate.

"Hello, brother!" Genji greeted. "Did you get my text?"

"Fukusū." Hanzo replied as he grabbed some sushi from the fridge. He scanned the room to see that Fareeha, Lena, and Genji sat at the table while Winston and Mei sat on the couch.

The omnic stood in the middle. Hanzo wasn't sure if it could sit. It had four legs, so Hanzo assumed it spent most of its time standing. He examined its body to see that it had been modeled after a cow.

"Hello." the robot greeted in a feminine voice.

"Greetings." Hanzo replied as he sat himself on the floor next to the couch.

"This is Orisa." Winston explained. "She's from Numbani. I brought her in for the day so she could learn about Overwatch."

"I was programmed to be a great protector." said Orisa as she extended the machine gun that was her right arm for Hanzo to see. "But there is much I would like to learn."

"Mhm." Hanzo nodded.

"Do you have any more questions, Orisa?" Mei asked.

"Yes, there is more I wish to know about the Earth's climate." Orisa replied. "For example, does..."

Curious, Hanzo ate while he listened and observed. He quickly found that Orisa's mannerisms were childlike and naive, which he took to imply she was either very young or not programmed with high intelligence.

"...undergoes an ice age every hundred thousand years." Mei explained to Orisa.

"How long has humankind existed?" Orisa asked.

"About two-hundred thousand years."

"If the entire planet freezes, how did the humans survive?"

From her question, Hanzo reasoned that Orisa was probably young rather than stupid.

"Not the entire planet." answered Winston. "Although much of what we see today was covered with ice, the fact that so much ocean became a solid meant that the water levels lowered. This uncovered massive continental plates of fertile land."

"Wow, that's amazing!" Lena exclaimed.

"We really used to live on different land?" Fareeha asked.

"There are very few places humans have not managed to live." Mei explained. "They've had the will to make settlements in the arctic and on top of active volcanoes."

"And New Jersey." said Winston.

No one laughed.

"...Oh." Winston followed.

"I have another question about the planet." Orisa announced.

"And we will be happy to answer." Winston replied. "What's your question?"

"What is our planet's shape?"

Mei's face flashed with surprise for a moment but she opened her mouth to respond nonetheless. However, she was interrupted before she could form any words.

"You don't know what shape the planet is?" Fareeha asked.

"I know that it is round." Orisa answered. "But I am unsure if it is a single plate, a sphere, or a dome. I know very little outside the world of combat and defense."

Hanzo watched as Lena, Genji, and Fareeha shot each other a few looks, their faces all on the edge of a smile.

"Our planet is a sphere." Lena answered. "Like a ball."

Fareeha and Genji started to snicker. Lena joined them.

"A sphere?" Orisa asked.

"Yes." Fareeha replied.

"Why did you laugh?"

There was a long moment before anyone answered. Hanzo felt a wave of irritation at the self-satisfied smirk on his brother's face.

"That is...very hard to explain." Genji admitted. "We're not laughing at you."

Lena burst into another low chuckle alongside Genji.

"They think we could just-- _fall off_. _"_ said Lena, shaking her head.

"Who thinks what?" Orisa asked.

"People who live in 1491." Genji replied.

"The dark side of Twitter." Fareeha added.

Genji let out another chuckle that felt like sandpaper on Hanzo's skin. Orisa still looked very confused.

"I believe the Earth is flat." Hanzo lied, bored.

The room fell silent. There was a clatter as Winston's peanut butter spoon fell from his mouth to the floor.

"...What?" asked Fareeha.

"I said that I believe the Earth to be flat. Like a disk."

Lena blinked.

"I think you are not being particularity fair to Orisa." Hanzo followed. "You should let her form her own opinion."

"Shuumatsu, nani wo suru?" Genji asked, his voice low.

Hanzo said nothing.

"What? You want to have a debate?" asked Lena, tone somewhere between outraged and bewildered.

"It would be my pleasure." Hanzo replied.

In a very satisfying turn of events, everyone but Orisa looked extremely confused.

"What are you doing?" Mei asked.

"I would like to second that question." said Winston.

Glancing over his shoulder, Hanzo sent Mei and Winston a pointed glare. Mei raised her eyebrow when Hanzo tipped his head ever so slightly towards Lena, Genji, and Fareeha.

A moment later, both Winston's and Mei's eyes lit up with sudden understanding.

"Actually, a debate sounds perfect." Winston followed.

"What?" asked Lena.

"Which one of you would like to be the representative for round Earth theory?"

Before Lena, Genji, or Fareeha could answer, Hanzo opened his mouth.

"I would like to debate my brother." Hanzo said.

A moment of silence went by before anyone moved. Finally, Fareeha and Lena both scooted backwards in their chairs, leaving Genji as the head of the table.

"Must you?" Genji asked the two of them.

"Orisa, why don't you stand over there?" Winston pointed.

With a mechanical whirring sound as she moved, Orisa complied. Hanzo shifted into a more comfortable position in his own seat.

"Are we truly doing this?" asked Genji.

"I don't see why not." Winston replied. "I think it will be fun."

Genji looked very skeptical. Hanzo burned with preemptive satisfaction.

"Orisa, do you know how to moderate a debate?" asked Mei.

"I have never done it, but I have seen a debate on television." Orisa answered. "Is that enough?"

"That should be fine. I'll give you help if you need it."

In their chairs, Lena and Fareeha's looks of disbelief grew even more saturated. Although now, they were aimed at Winston and Mei.

"Are you two ready?" Winston asked Genji and Hanzo.

Alongside Genji, Hanzo nodded and reached into his pocket for his phone.

"Wait, we should lay some rules down." Winston followed. "You can use the internet to bring up studies you've already heard of, but no googling a general request for evidence. Otherwise it won't be you two debating, it will be the internet. Which I, uh, don't want to do."

"What?" Genji replied.

"Which one of us would you like to start, Orisa?" asked Hanzo.

"Which one of you would prefer to start?" Orisa asked back.

"We'll flip a coin." said Winston.

Mei nodded and pulled a single yuan coin from her pocket. She paced it on top of her thumb, ready to flick it.

"I will take heads." Genji decided.

Mei flipped the coin.

"Tails." she read.

The room was silent as Orisa drew in a metallic breath.

"Mr. Shimada Hanzo." said Orisa. "Please bring forward your first piece of evidence that the planet Earth is flat."

Hanzo nodded.

"In the nineteenth century, a series of experiments were performed at a river in England." he started. "The experiments served to determine if the ground beneath us followed any sort of curvature. For example, one experiment was conducted by placing six flags of equal height along the edge of the river, each one a mile from the next. Directly in front of the last flag, a seventh flag of a greater height to the others was placed so that its bottom was in line with the smaller flag's top. Then, six miles back, an observer examined the tops of the flag through a telescope."

After he'd finished speaking, Hanzo searched for the experiment on his phone. He then handed it to Orisa with the diagrams from the old Bedford River experiments on the screen.

"The observer found that the flag tops stayed a consistent height from his relative position." Hanzo continued as he ignored the looks he got from his coworkers. "If the Earth was curved, this could not have happened."

For the first time in his life, Hanzo was thankful that his roommate in graduate school had been an avid flat Earther.

"Thank you." Orisa replied as she handed Hanzo his phone back. "Mr. Shimada Genji."

Genji still looked very, very confused as to how he'd gotten in his current situation. Still, he pulled out his own phone.

"I have a photo of the Earth from space." he said. "You can see from the perspectives that the continents aren't flat."

Orisa took the phone and examined the photo. Hanzo made sure Genji was done talking before he spoke up.

"And I have a photo of former American president Bill Clinton engaging in sexual relations with Sonic the Hedgehog." Hanzo replied, holding up his phone.

"Did former American president Bill Clinton really engage in sexual relations with Sonic the Hedgehog?" asked Orisa.

"No." Mei answered. "Sonic the Hedgehog is not real."

"But otherwise, Bill might've gone for it." Winston replied.

No one laughed.

"...Oh." Winston followed once again. 

"That implies photographic evidence cannot be trusted." Orisa said before turning back to Genji. "Can you provide additional evidence?"

"How could I possibly need additional evidence?" Genji snapped.

"Very well. Mr. Shimada Hanzo, what is your next piece of evidence?"

Hanzo gestured to the door.

"Would you be willing to join me outside?" he asked.

"I could use some fresh air." Winston replied, getting up from his chair.

Everyone followed Winston with varying degrees of reluctance out the door. Hanzo walked behind Orisa and refused to make eye contact with anyone.

The walk out to a good high point was short, as Watchpoint consisted of many outlooks over miles and miles of the ocean. Hanzo pretended not to notice his brother shooting daggers through the back of his head while Winston settled them to a spot near the radar array.

"Look out over the horizon and see for yourself, Orisa." said Hanzo once they'd halted.

"I am looking." she replied.

"How far can you see?"

"Twice that of a standard human's limitation."

"Do you see a curve?"

"No, I do not."

The open slits in Orisa's eyes turned from a horizontal lines to triangles as she fell silent. No one made a sound as she began to kick lazily at the ground with her back foot in thought.

"In conclusion..." Orisa announced, "the Earth is flat."

The sense of accomplishment Hanzo felt was almost intense.

"You are an absolute psychopath." Fareeha said to Hanzo.

Hanzo refrained from replying. His relationship with Fareeha was already in the trash as it was.

"He lied to you, Orisa." Lena grumbled through grit teeth. "The Earth is not flat."

"Oxton is correct. I did lie." Hanzo admitted.

Orisa's eyes widened with enough confusion and betrayal to make Hanzo feel just a little bit guilty. Still, the aggravated burning in Genji's eyes made it more than worth it.

"What shape is the Earth?" asked Orisa.

"The Earth is a sphere." Mei replied.

"But he had more evidence."

Mei looked at Winston.

"Sometimes, uh, even when we've seen evidence for one conclusion, it's possible that another conclusion has more merit in the evidence we haven't seen." Winston explained.

"So what is that evidence, then?" Orisa asked.

"All of Hanzo's evidence can be disproved when you consider light refraction." Mei answered. "The water only looks flat because of the way light behaves when it passes into a new media."

"In that case, I feel I no longer know what to believe."

Orisa's head drooped sadly. Lena shot Hanzo another glare, which he happily ignored.

"Why would he lie?" Orisa followed as she pointed to Hanzo.

"Because he gets off on being an insufferable git." Lena answered.

"Hey, that's not fair." Winston replied. "He helped to remind us of the importance of intellectual justification, even for things that seem obvious."

Truthfully, Lena's assessment had been more accurate than Winston's, although Hanzo had no plans to admit it. In fact, as everyone started to file back towards the breakroom, Hanzo refrained from doing anything but sneaking off at the first chance he got.

Hanzo tried hard not to think too hard about the events which had just transpired as grabbed his bow and quiver from his room and made his way to the range. Upon arrival, Hanzo realized he was a half hour early.

He considered going into the range early, but settled on playing Sudoku Plus on his phone until McCree arrived.

Although he did hate himself for doing it.

"Howdy." McCree greeted.

"Hello." Hanzo replied as he put his phone away.

"I brought beer."

"Which we will drink after we practice."

McCree tossed his hand in faux irritation but kept the cooler closed as they walked into the range together.

The two of them had been meeting up for shooting competitions about twice a week since they'd first visited each other's quarters, and McCree had since proved himself to be an impressive shot. Each contest always ended the same way. McCree's quick shooting scored more points, but Hanzo's methodical accuracy wasted less ammo. And so far, this day proved itself to be no different.

Hanzo just hoped that after they were finished, McCree would be open to the idea of dinner.

"Every draw of my bow is a performance of its own." Hanzo boasted as he hit his third bullseye in a row on a moving target. "I channel every ounce of strength and focus into my pull and only release when the perfect moment presents itself."

"That's neat. I'm winning."

McCree did end up winning, although Hanzo didn't really mind. Which was a little strange, as Hanzo had never been very fond of losing. He supposed it was just nice to see McCree happy.

When they'd cleaned up the range and McCree had finally concluded his smack talk-heavy celebration of victory, they retired to the garden. After waving the Bastion hello, Hanzo found a log to sit on while McCree leaned up against a tree.

Overheated, he took a beer from the cooler and cracked it open with the bottle opener McCree handed him.

"How's your day been?" McCree asked.

"Fine." Hanzo replied. "How was yours?"

"Got to meet Orisa. That was neat."

"What did you think of her?"

"Oh, she's adorable."

Hanzo made a noise of amusement as he downed a sip of his beer.

"Still." McCree followed. "Was a little confused when she told me not to vaccinate my kids."

Silently, Hanzo frowned. He wasn't sure if he was interpreting it correctly, but McCree's tone seemed a bit accusatory.

"I suppose that means you heard about my debate." said Hanzo.

"That I did, pardner." McCree replied.

"How? It was only an hour ago."

"Stopped by the breakroom to get some coffee and meet the bot just before I came here. Genji gave me a break down."

"It sounds as if you disprove of my actions."

"Hey, I can respect them. I get a headache listening to people get all hoity about that stuff too."

"...But?"

McCree made a tiny noise of emotion that Hanzo couldn't read.

"But I think if you spend your whole life expecting the worst outta people," McCree answered, "that's all you're ever gonna see."

Hanzo's frown deepened, but only out of confusion.

"What does that have to do with what I did?" Hanzo asked.

"Well, it was kinda cynical." McCree answered.

"How was that cynical?"

"I dunno how to explain it."

"Very well. I will disregard your opinion."

McCree chuckled for a moment before bringing his beer up to his face. But when he pulled the bottle away, his face had fallen.

"I thought it was a little cruel to do that to your brother." said McCree.

Hanzo sighed. He'd been hoping that McCree wouldn't bring up Genji.

"Genji will be fine." Hanzo replied. "He is a grown man."

"I know he'll be fine."

"And he had it coming."

"Never said he didn't."

"Then what is your quarrel with me?"

McCree took another sip of beer. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before replying

"I've known your brother for a long time," McCree started slowly, "and I reckon it's safe to say all he wants is for you to be proud of him."

Against his volition, Hanzo winced.

"I would prefer not to speak about my brother." he replied.

"Fair enough. I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

McCree seemed reluctant to reply, which Hanzo took to mean he was in charge of the next topic. Which was good timing, as a question he'd been meaning to ask popped into his head.

"What did my brother tell you of me?" Hanzo asked. "Before you and I were acquainted."

"Thought you didn't wanna talk about your brother."

"We will not talking about my brother. We will be talking about me."

McCree hummed in mild amusement.

"Suppose that's fair." McCree replied. "Though I can't say he said much. Said you were kind of a weirdo."

"Did he really?"

"Yeah."

"I cannot blame him."

"Also said you were a great warrior. Told me you were the best swordsman in your family."

Hanzo betrayed himself when he let his face fall.

"I am no longer." Hanzo admitted. "I've not touched finger with a sword in over a decade."

"Mind me asking why?"

"It was a blade that I used to kill him."

"...Oh."

"I know it's foolish for me to abandon an art that still could pay me glory. But the--the very thought of looking down and seeing one in my hands again..."

Hanzo trailed off as he started to feel the first warnings of nausea.

"I think I understand." McCree replied with a soft mouth. "And I ain't judging."

"It is my pleasure to hear that." Hanzo stated.

"Well, it’s my pleasure to finally find something a little humanizing about you."

"Humanizing?"

"Yeah. You need it."

Hanzo supposed he understood what McCree was saying, but there was something his wording that he didn't like.

"I am just as human as any other." said Hanzo.

"...Guess I can't argue with that."

McCree followed his response with a swig of beer. Suddenly thirsty, Hanzo went for his own beer but ended up spilling half a sip on his left sleeve of his kimono. McCree watched as Hanzo rolled it up to the elbow.

"You know, I've been meaning to say something about your tattoo." McCree said. "It's real pretty."

Hanzo looked down at his arm. After he'd left the Yakuza, he'd had a very hard time being accepted back into society due to his markings.

But at least they weren't ugly.

"Thank you." Hanzo replied.

"You marked up anywhere else?" asked McCree.

"There is quite a large one on my leg. Would you like to see the whole thing?"

"Sure."

"Give me a moment..."

Hanzo took a stand and faced away from McCree. After loosening and bunching up the front of his kimono and hadajuban, Hanzo shoved the fabric between his legs to cover his genitals. He then hiked up the cloth of his garnet from the back, exposing the tattoo that ran from his leg to lower back.

"Here." said Hanzo, pointing. "It is--

McCree made a strange, choked noise. It took Hanzo a moment to realize he'd spit out a sip of his beer.

"I'm sorry." McCree muttered as he collected himself.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Just, uh, caught me off guard."

Hanzo turned his head to see that McCree's cheeks were dusted with pink. With sudden understanding, Hanzo realized it wasn't from the coughing. He quickly dropped his hem and covered himself and sat back down.

"I've upset you." Hanzo stated.

"Oh, no. No. Took me by surprise, is all."

"I will apologize regardless. I was unaware you were made to be a prude."

McCree coughed.

"...Ouch." he replied.

"I did not realize it would be overstepping my boundaries." said Hanzo.

"Hanzo, it's really alright. It was cute."

Hanzo examined McCree's face carefully, trying to judge his sincerity.

"The gesture, I mean." McCree followed, still pink.

"Would you like to sit down?"

"Yeah. I would."

Silently, McCree took a seat next to Hanzo on the log.

"Can I ask you something?" McCree questioned.

"What would you like to know?"

"Does, uh...does nudity mean anything to you?"

Hanzo found himself a bit confused by the question.

"I would not recommend it in cold or dangerous climates." he answered.

"That ain't really what I meant." McCree replied.

"Why did you mean?"

"Do you got any shame?"

"Yes. The mere thought of personal failure fills me with enough shame to crush my bones."

"...I mean, do you got any shame about not wearing clothes?"

Hanzo's eyes opened with sudden realization. He wasn't sure exactly why it had taken so long for him to put two and two together.

"Perhaps a bit, but only that." Hanzo explained. "It is like--a child cares not about nudity. For whatever reason, this never changed for me as I grew."

"You mind if I ask you something about Japan?"

"Why would I mind that?"

"Uh, not sure. But is all of Japan like that? Or is it just you."

Hanzo's mouth twisted as he thought of a good way to answer McCree's question.

"Sorry," McCree followed, with just a bit too much haste, "I've only really met your brother. And he don't exactly wear clothes."

"You have no reason to be sorry." Hanzo replied. "In regards to your question, it varies greatly from pocket to pocket. But if I compiled every bit of cultural into an average, I would assume they'd be considered less militant towards the inherent act of nudity."

"Really."

"Yes, but only in a relative sense. Personally, I find them quite prudish."

"...You're talking about them like you aren't one."

Hanzo raised the corner of his mouth in mild agreement as he considered McCree's words.

"What about your family?" McCree asked. "They care about letting it hang out?"

"My family was extremely wealthy and thus an outsider of mainstream culture." answered Hanzo. "My mother cared somewhat, and my father less so."

"So it came from your dad?"

"Perhaps in part. But Genji still managed to learn shame for his body."

McCree hummed in response. Hanzo felt a sudden pain in his chest, sparked by the thought of his brother.

"I've often wondered if my lack of shame on this matter came from an inability to be taught it or an unwillingness to learn." Hanzo followed. "For although I am philosophically opposed to preventing nudity, I was also an impressively stunted child."

"Was, huh?" McCree replied.

"Opportunistic."

"Fine, you got me. But if I had to guess, I'd say it was a bit of both."

Hanzo felt himself smile. McCree was probably correct.

"So why are you, uh, philosophically opposed to shame about nakedness?" McCree followed.

"Hmm." Hanzo started as he sucked in a breath. "I believe any law or cultural exceptions that preach clothing as a necessity are both..."

Hanzo paused for a moment to flick a bug off his bicep.

"...unforgivably trite and brutal violations of what should be considered the most basic human right." he finished.

"......Huh." McCree muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing. A human right? Just ain't an opinion I thought you'd have."

"What opinion did you expect from me?"

"I dunno, that we should all be in uniform or something."

"Is nudity not a uniform?"

After a short moment of dead silence, Hanzo worried that his half joke had fallen flat. But once the moment had finished, McCree burst into a fit of the most animated laughter Hanzo'd ever heard from him.

McCree's laugh was a wonderful sound. Hanzo couldn't help but smile back at the look of pure delight plastered to McCree's face.

"I agree with you." McCree said once he'd managed to collect himself.

"About what?" asked Hanzo.

"'Bout being naked. I reckon folks should be able to do what they want, long as it ain't hurting nobody."

"Even though you find nudity to be shocking?"

"Yeah, well, freedom's a hell of a lot more important to me than my comfort."

"Is anything more important to you than freedom?"

A long, long moment of silence went by as McCree thought to himself. Bored, Hanzo began to study the freckles on the back of his hands.

"Democracy." McCree finally answered.

"Why?" asked Hanzo.

"I think it will lead to better freedom."

"Tell me how that transpires."

"I'll shoot you an email."

The comm in Hanzo's ear buzzed as Morrison sent him a message reminding him that he was supposed to be getting ready for his next assignment. Hanzo sighed and took a stand.

"I must depart." he announced. "I'm scheduled to go to South Africa for a trade deal."

"Sounds good. Catch you later."

"Thank you, McCree."

"You ever gonna call me Jesse?"

Hanzo answered with a grunt as he made his way over to the loading bay.

The mission went fine, and Hanzo was home in time to bathe before bed. He didn't bump into anyone again until a few days later in the breakroom.

Hanzo had never been one to eavesdrop when he wasn't on the job, as he considered it to be unethical. However, he was willing to expend his rule upon hearing the sound of his own name.

Which was how he found himself with his ear glued to the breakroom door.

 _"...invite Hanzo._ " a high-pitched voice snapped.

Lena's voice.

 _"My brother is lonely and has a hard time socially adjusting._ " Genji's voice replied. " _I want for him to meet others._ "

 _"He has a hard time socially adjusting because he's intentionally unlikable. That's his problem._ "

A moment passed. Hanzo's grip on the door frame only tightened.

 _"You know what?"_ said McCree. " _I like him._ "

 _"How could you possibly like him?"_ Lena asked.

_"He's smart and he's funny and he speaks his mind. What's not to like?"_

_"He's an arsehole._ "

 _"Course he's an asshole._ "

_"What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"It means, let's see you go into the Yakuza and come out the other end without being an asshole._ "

 _"Genji didn't come out an arsehole._ "

_"Oh, Genji played Fortnite."_

_"Lena, I used to kill people for insulting me._ " Genji said. _"Please let my brother join us._ "

Hanzo felt a quick spark of guilt to hear his brother defending him.

 _"How can you even be friends with Hanzo? I thought you were a good person._ " Lena snapped. _"He's a weird, brooding jerk with no moral compass--_ "

 _"No moral compass?"_ McCree interrupted with a laugh of amazement. _"What the hell are you on?"_

 _"If he goes, I'm not going._ _That's final._ "

 _"Fine. Don't go._ "

Hanzo couldn't hear much detail, but he managed to pick up on the stomp of angry footsteps getting closer and closer to the door.

 _"Lena, I'm sorry._ " McCree followed. " _Please--_ "

Before Hanzo could risk hearing more, he pulled away from the door and made a beeline down the hall to his left. As an angry Lena opened the door, Hanzo hid behind a large metal box.

As luck would have it, Lena stormed off down the other side of the hall.

Hanzo waited a few minutes in silence. Eventually, his brother left the breakroom, but McCree didn't, just as Hanzo had hoped for. Once Genji was out of range, Hanzo entered the breakroom with a straight face.

McCree was sitting at the table by himself.

"Howdy." McCree greeted.

He sounded a bit winded.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

McCree opened his mouth, but quickly closed it as no words came out. He looked down at the table.

"Are you alright?" asked Hanzo.

"I'm fine." McCree muttered. "I'm fine."

"Truly?"

"Yeah. Though I got something to ask you."

"What's that?"

"You doing anything tonight?"

Hanzo shook his head no and did his best to pretend like he didn't know where the conversation was going.

"Was there something you wanted to do?" he asked.

"Sorta." McCree replied. "A bunch of us like to get together sometimes and play D&D."

"Is that a kind of poker?"

"No. It's like--you ever play Skyrim?"

"What's Skyrim?"

"An RPG."

"What's an RPG?"

"...Have you never played a video game before?"

"I've played Sudoku Plus."

McCree stared. Hanzo stared back.

"Anyway," McCree started, "we're playing tonight if you wanna join."

Hanzo was very tempted to say no, as he had absolutely no interest. However, he also felt that saying no might render the stress Jesse had put on his relationship with Lena meaningless.

"At what time?" asked Hanzo.

"Nine. Right here in the breakroom."

"I will attend. Thank you for inviting me, Jesse."

A long moment of surprise danced across Jesse's face before he broke into a slow smile. Hanzo kept his own face like stone.

"I must go." Hanzo followed as he stood up from the table. "I will see you at nine."

Jesse didn't say anything as Hanzo left the breakroom. When Hanzo looked back over his shoulder to make sure the door was closing behind him properly, Jesse was still smiling.

The moment stuck with Hanzo for the rest of the day as he went about his standard non-mission day activities of eating well, studying, and writing constitutional propositions. By the time eight rolled around, he felt like he might have been psyching himself out a little.

Out of a compulsion that came from overthinking, Hanzo showed up to the breakroom at nine on the dot. He opened the door to see Reinhardt, Ana, Jesse, Fareeha, Angela, Genji, and Lena all seated at the table.

Apparently, Lena had either been bluffing or had changed her mind. Either way, she didn't look too happy to see Hanzo.

"Am I late?" Hanzo asked.

"Yes, but only because McCree gave you the wrong time." Ana explained. "We were supposed to meet at eight thirty."

Ana was at the head of the table, seated behind a large cardboard divider. On her left was Reinhardt, and on her right was everyone else. Everyone seemed to be writing furiously on single sheets of paper.

"Sorry." said Jesse. "Was gonna message you about it, but Genji said you didn't like texts."

"I was unaware my brother knew that about me." Hanzo replied.

Hanzo took a seat at an empty chair between Jesse and Angela. Ana passed Hanzo a pencil and a sheet of paper of text and empty boxes.

"What's this?" asked Hanzo.

"Your character sheet." Ana answered. "This is session zero, so you're going to be creating your characters."

Hanzo examined the sheet. Some of the information had been filled out for him, such as his level being one and his amount of experience points being sixty-nine. But before Hanzo could even think about writing anything down, he was interrupted by the sound of Hana and Lucio passing through the door.

They both smelled strongly of hemp.

"Sorry we're late." said Hana as they sat down. "We were eating some dinner and lost track of time."

"Uhuh." Ana replied.

"Did you bring any, uh, dinner for the rest of the class?" Jesse asked.

"Depends." answered Lucio. "You gonna pay me back?"

Jesse grinned.

"Reckon I just might." he said.

"This is a workplace environment." Angela snapped.

 _"Narc._ " Ana coughed.

Hana and Lucio were handed their own sheets. When they both got to work, Hanzo realized he still had no idea what to do.

"Here, take this." Genji said as he passed Hanzo an open book.

Hanzo took the book to see that it was filled with information about races and classes. After a solid fifteen minutes of reading, Hanzo had made it almost a third of the way through the book. However, he was eventually interrupted.

"You have lost book privileges." Genji explained as he yanked the book from Hanzo's hands.

"But I must design the most versatile character I can!" Hanzo replied.

"This is your first character. It does not have to be good."

"Hanzo's a try hard." said Hana. "Who would've guessed?"

Hanzo couldn't believe how poorly his own brother knew him. Not having the book filled him with deep emotional stress and anxiety towards the anarchy that was now inevitably going to come about. He ended up picking _fighter_ and _human_ , only because he felt that was the only combination he felt he'd be able to fully conceptualize with the limited time and information he had.

"Boooring." Hana announced after reading from Hanzo's sheet.

"What does alignment imply?" Hanzo asked.

"That's the moral compass of your character." Ana replied as she slipped Hanzo a chart.

Hanzo examined the chart. It consisted of nine boxes, each with a different label inside such as chaotic good, true neutral, or lawful evil.

"I'm still failing to understand." said Hanzo .

"Well, there's two axis." Angela explained. "The first is lawful verses chaotic, and the second is good verses evil."

"And how are all those terms defined?"

"Lawful means you have an affinity for order. Chaotic means that you reject laws and authority in favor of reaching your goals at your own whim."

"Chaotic means reasonable, is what she's trying to say." said Jesse.

"I believe I'll assess that for myself, thank you." Hanzo replied. "And what of good and evil?"

"They mean 'good' and 'evil'." Lena explained.

"But what is this spectrum tied to?"

Lena blinked.

"Good and evil." she answered.

"I don't understand what you are attempting to express." Hanzo replied.

"I do!" Reinhardt announced.

"Good means you do good things, evil means you do evil things." Lena explained.

Ana rubbed her temples. Hanzo continued to stare at Lena in confusion.

"Good means you do things to help others." Lena followed. "Evil means you do things to hurt others."

"So good and evil are tied to impact, rather than intent?" asked Hanzo.

"What's the difference?"

"Oh, Lena." Angela muttered as her head hit the table.

"What does good and evil mean to you all, anyway?" Lucio asked in wonder.

"I don't believe in good and evil." Hana replied. "To me, there's only woke and cringe."

"I believe that good is never ceasing to keep fighting for what you believe in." said Ana.

Lucio let out a small 'ooh' of thought.

"What if I believe in something really crappy?" Fareeha asked.

"Like a race war!" Hana offered.

"...Then at least we will understand your motivations." Ana replied.

Lucio 'ooh'ed again.

"What about evil?" asked Hana

"I don't believe in evil." Ana replied.

Fareeha rolled her eyes.

"I am still confused." said Hanzo.

"How about this." Jesse stated. "Good means you try to help others. Bad means you only try to help yourself."

Everyone 'aww'ed in agreement.

"Yo, that's finna woke." Lucio replied.

"Lucio, stop using 'finna' wrong." Hana groaned.

When Hanzo didn't ask for any further clarification, the table broke into several sub conversations. Although Hanzo did feel semantically satisfied, he still thought it best to see an example.

"May I see your character?" he asked Jesse.

Jesse nodded and passed Hanzo his sheet.

"He's a little elf prince." Jesse explained as Hanzo read over the sheet. "He's kinda got a stick up his ass, but he's alright."

Jesse's elf was a lawful neutral ranger named Uchiha Sasuke. For personality traits, Jesse had written _weird_ and _sullen_. For ideals, he'd written _totalitarian_. For bonds, Jesse'd written _other royals_ and _crime families_. And for flaws, he'd written _totalitarian_.

Hanzo was struck by a sudden suspicion.

"Interesting choices." said Hanzo as he handed Jesse back the sheet.

"Reckoned you might say that."

With the tiniest start of a smile, Hanzo pulled out his phone under the table and pulled up a cowboy name generator. After hitting it a few times, Hanzo found the name _Benjamin 'Horse Whisperer' Whitfield_ and decided there was no going back.

Benjamin 'Horse Whisperer' Whitfield ended up being a chaotic good human fighter with interests such as integrity and complaining about the government. Born, raised, and educated on a humble dairy farm, he was happily married to a lovely horse named Bertha. Ideologically, he strongly believed in the power of human nature, blind trust, and the social justice cause of legalizing human and horse relationships of both a romantic and sexual manner.

For flaws, Hanzo wrote _see other categories._

"Asshole." Jesse said as he read over Hanzo's shoulder.

"Did you notice that he is proficient in animal handling?"

"Yeah, I noticed he's proficient in animal handling."

Next, Hanzo moved his eyes to the left-hand sidebar of his character sheet to see that it was asking for information regarding stats for several traits such as strength, wisdom, and constitution.

"What are these?" Hanzo asked the table as he pointed to the bar.

"Oh, I forgot to ask." said Fareeha. "Are we rolling for stats, or are we doing something else?"

"You get seventy six points to spread around however you'd like." Ana answered.

"Thanks, mom."

"Angela, can you explain how stats work to Hanzo?"

Angela nodded and leaned across the table. Hanzo listened intently as she started to explain stat points, bonuses, and proficiency to him.

It ended up being more complicated than Hanzo was expecting, and it took about five minutes before he was able to even begin understanding how the stats worked. However, when he got it, he was filled with sudden interest.

"...add two for three chosen skills." Angela finished.

"This is an excellent metaphor for so many things." Hanzo told Angela with excitement. "Was this game created as a celebration of probability?"

"I don't know."

"It is like...the statistical bonuses themselves represent a concept's inherent likelihood while the roll of the twenty-sided die represents the layer of randomness. Together, they combine to make--"

"Yes." Angela interrupted. "That is how probability works."

"I am very pleased you understand this!"

Angela's face was coated in confusion as Hanzo happily turned his attention back to his paper to determine what stats Benjamin 'Horse Whisperer' Whitfield should have.

"Ain't never seen you so excited before." said Jesse.

"This is a very good game." Hanzo replied. "We should encourage children to play it."

"...Alright then."

Hanzo didn't get much farther in the process of his creation before another thought dawned on him.

"I've never understood the concept of magic." Hanzo said as he worked.

"What's there not to understand?" asked Jesse.

"Anything that happens is natural. How could something be supernatural? If we lived in a reality with spells and potions, they would not be magic. They would just be the laws of psychics."

"Nah, magic's real."

"Is it?"

"Yeah, I've done heroin."

Hanzo kicked Jesse from under the table. Jesse let out a tiny snicker.

"What does intelligence imply?" Hanzo asked the table.

"How smart you are." Lena answered.

"...Thank you."

"What does intelligence even mean, anyway?" Lucio asked, still in wonder.

"No!" Genji replied. "Do not encourage my brother and his needlessly pedantic ways."

There was something that bothered Hanzo about his brother's word choice. After thinking to himself for a moment, he realized what it was.

"That's a redundancy." Hanzo stated.

"Huh?" asked Genji.

"Pedantic already implies needless."

Everyone turned to Hanzo and stared.

"Fine." Hanzo snapped. "Perhaps I am being pedantic. Perhaps we should all just use terms at random without ever defining them until we live in an incomprehensible verbal anarchy like some sort of...colony of abstract artists."

"Look, he's just--" Jesse stammered to the table. "He's just like this."

Silence fell, but only for a short moment. Ana cleared her throat.

"I need help with names." she said.

"Farcus Buttkins." Hana said immediately.

"Perfect."

"Nakajima Megumi." Hanzo stated.

"Your Kenjutsu teacher?" asked Genji.

"How about Diane Roomiaro?" Jesse offered.

"Reinhardt!" shouted Reinhardt.

As they spoke, Ana scribbled furiously from behind her divider.

"Thank you." said Ana. "I will be using all but one of your suggestions."

Ana fell silent, and everyone broke back into smaller conversations. Hanzo penciled in the last stat to his character.

"What stats did you choose?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo squinted down at his paper.

"Strength is eight. Dexterity is fourteen. Ten for constitution, sixteen for intelligence, twelve for wisdom, and sixteen for charisma." said Hanzo. "What about your vile creation?"

With a tiny grin, Jesse grabbed his paper and began to read from it.

"Strength, dex, and constitution are all fourteen." Jesse started. "Then eighteen for intelligence and twelve for wisdom."

Hanzo was unsure if Jesse was trying to flatter him.

"And charisma?" asked Hanzo.

"Two."

Hanzo scoffed out a laugh.

"Those numbers fall short." said Angela. "You still have two more points to spend."

"I'll stick with two." Jesse replied.

Hanzo put his pencil down as he finished and found that almost everyone else was done as well. Once the last person had wrapped up, Ana instructed them to all go around the table and introduce their characters. Hanzo quickly decided that Hana's character was the best.

"Her name is Jung-min and she's a murder hobo." Hana explained.

The campaign started after they'd finished introductions. Reinhardt and Ana co-DMed, with Reinhardt doing the storytelling while Ana handled the math.

The story was a simple one that followed their journey of eight assholes banding together in the hopes of slaying monsters for capital gain. Disaster struck as Jung-min accidentally angered a group of royal guards by attempting to urinate on them. Further disaster struck as Benjamin 'Horse Whisperer' Whitfield tried to convert the guards to anarchists and flirt with their horses.

"Alright, Hanzo, give me a charisma roll." said Ana. "But the horse is angry, so you get disadvantage."

Hanzo rolled two eighteens.

"Well, the horse doesn't want to sleep with you, but at least it's not going to kick you in the head." Ana explained.

"I'd like to flirt with it once again." Hanzo replied.

"Are you sure? If you anger this man's horse, you may put yourself at risk of being stabbed by its owner."

"I must stay in character."

Hanzo tossed his D20 twice more. To his disappointment, he rolled highly both times.

"The horse stares blankly." said Reinhardt. "It does not speak any language."

"I'll try again." Hanzo replied as Jesse kicked him under the table.

"...And, it's the half-elf's turn." Ana said as she turned to Jesse.

"What?" Jesse asked. "I ain't a half elf. Hanzo's the half elf."

"No, I'm a human. And McCree is an elf." Hanzo replied.

"But they're making a half elf!" Reinhardt whispered to Ana in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear.

The session wrapped up after another hour. As Hanzo helped clean the table, he found himself surprised by how much fun he'd managed to have.

"I must ask." Genji said to Jesse as they collected the pencils. "Is there a reason you gave Moira's old undercover name to Ana when she asked for name suggestions?"

Jesse blinked.

"Huh?" he asked.

"Diane Roomiaro. Why did you use it?"

"...That's Moira's name?"

"Yes. What did you think it was?"

Hanzo watched as all the color drained from Jesse's face. With wide eyes, Jesse grabbed both Genji and Hanzo both by the shoulders and began to push them out the door.

"Hey!" Genji snapped in protest.

"What is going on?" asked Hanzo.

"Genji," Jesse started, "I saw that name in a coke lord's record book."

Genji's eyes turned into saucers to match Jesse's. Hanzo still had no idea what was going on, but at least he was entertained.

"We must tell Morrison!" said Genji

"Which is exactly where we're going." Jesse replied.

"...Oh."

Morrison's door was just a few rooms down from the breakroom, and Jesse had already tugged them about halfway there. All three of them finished the last stretch in a jog.

Jesse arrived first. Without a moment to spare, he knocked his fist against Morrison's door.

At first, there was no response. Although Hanzo didn't experience much stress himself outside of social situations, he could feel it bubbling up from both Jesse and his brother.

"Give him a minute." said Jesse. "He's prolly jerking it."

" _No I'm not!_ " Morrison shouted from inside. " _Just...give me a moment._ "

"I think he may actually be masturbating." Genji muttered to Jesse.

"Well, there's a reason we call him Jack-off Morrison."

"Oh, that's good."

" _You know I can hear you, right?"_

"What'd ya'll think Morrison jacks it to, anyway?" asked Jesse.

"Reaganomics." Genji replied.

"As a concept, or the 1980s?"

"Whatever he can get his hands on."

" _Just come in!"_

Jesse opened the door to reveal Morrison sitting behind his desk with an expression of near aggravation.

"You better have something pretty damn important to tell me." Morrison grumbled as he zipped up his pants.

Jesse and Genji both gave each other a quick glance. After a moment of silent communication between the two of them, Jesse began to speak first.

"Actually, we do." Jesse stated as his face fell serious. "You remember that mission Hanzo and me did in Equador a few months back?"

Morrison raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. What about it?" he replied.

"And do you remember how I brought a page from Valerio's address book back cause I thought I recognized a name in it?"

"...Yeah."

"Well, Genji reckons he knows where it came from."

Morrison nodded and turned his attention to Genji.

"Diane Roomiaro was a code name Moira O'Deorain often chose to use for undercover operations in Blackwatch." Genji explained. "It's an anagram of her name. Personally, I'm surprised she still uses it."

Morrison's eyes lit up.

"And if Moira was in Valerio's address book..." Morrison started.

"Valerio was doing business with Talon, too." Jesse finished. "If we persuaded whoever took charge of Valerio's operation, we could find out where she is."

Eyes squinting half closed, Morrison rubbed his chin.

"The reason I chose Valerio to do business with was because he had no capacity for loyalty whatsoever." Morrison said slowly. "If his associates are the same, they could easily be bribed into pointing us her direction the next time she comes to buy."

"Exactly what I was thinking." Jesse replied.

Hanzo felt it probably wasn't the best time to ask who Moira was.

"Usually, I would message Valerio's estate before showing up." Morrison explained. "But considering the fact that we murdered him last time, it might be better if we showed up unannounced."

"Who you gonna send?" asked Jesse.

"Not you."

"What'd I do?"

"You were the one who shot him."

Jesse scoffed.

"Although," Morrison followed, "I wanna keep this on the down low for now. How about I send you two?"

Morrison pointed to Hanzo and Genji.

"I am a robot. I can't go on undercover missions." said Genji.

"Got a point." Morrison replied.

"Why don't you just go?" Jesse asked Morrison.

"My feet hurt."

They ended up sending Hanzo and calling in Ana, who took the onslaught of new information like a champ. Morrison called down to the drop ship bay and ordered them to be sent out right away. Together they made their way over with Jesse and Genji, who traveled with them on the ship as emergency back-up.

"Who is Moira O'Deorain?" Hanzo asked Jesse as they shipped off.

"Lady I used to work with in Blackwatch." Jesse replied. "Crazy scientist."

"Why are we hunting her?"

"She's real into experiments that violate the thin bit of overlap between the law and common sense. Talon's the only group that'll fund her, and she repays them with weapon tech."

Hanzo nodded.

"It ain't pretty." Jesse followed.

Over the weeks that had most recently passed, Hanzo had noticed himself getting more and more perceptive of where Jesse's focus was and where he was in a room. Hanzo had a suspicion as to why, although he wasn't ready to say it out loud.

"Let's hope the rest of Valerios's family doesn't hate the Japanese too." Morrison said as he bid Hanzo and Ana goodbye.

"...What?" asked Ana.

In their undercover get-ups, Hanzo and Ana made it to Valerio's house without problem. Hanzo filled Ana in on the story that he and Jesse had settled on regarding the last time they'd been in town.

"Before you continue, I would like to tell you that I'm fully aware you are lying." said Ana.

Hanzo opened and closed his mouth.

"How did you know?" he asked.

"I didn't. But now I do."

With a scoff, Hanzo turned his head away.

"Don't worry, I will not tell Jack." Ana followed.

"You won't?" Hanzo replied.

"No. And I'm proud of you for sticking by McCree. I never liked Valerio either."

"Hmm."

"What do you think of Jack?"

Wanting to give an honest answer, Hanzo thought for a moment before he spoke.

"I appreciate his belief in authority as a concept." Hanzo answered. "But I do not agree with what he wishes to be the authority."

"Which is?" asked Ana.

"War."

Ana chuckled darkly to herself at Hanzo's words.

"I also find him rather obnoxious." Hanzo followed.

"I do too." Ana replied.

"Really."

"Yes. But he is my best friend."

"...May I ask why?"

“It’s very simple. He may be a stick in the mud, but Jack Morrison would do anything for this planet.”

Hanzo hummed blankly in response.

 _“Anything._ ” Ana followed.

They arrived at the house. Having been there before, Hanzo led the way as they snuck around the back. The door was locked, but Ana picked it easily.

Once inside, Hanzo knocked at the door of Valerio's study.

"Entra!" yelled a woman's voice.

Hanzo opened the door and let Ana in before following her.

There were only two changes to Valerio's office since the last time Hanzo had seen it. One, the paintings of naked women had been removed, and two, a different person sat in Valerio's old chair.

"You aren't my eleven pm." she stated.

The woman looked about the same age as Valerio had, and resembled him a bit in the face. Hanzo found that the nameplate on the desk had been changed to Bianca Valerio, which Hanzo assumed was her name.

"We're from Overwatch." Ana replied.

Hanzo watched as Bianca's face tightened.

"We've come to make you a deal." Ana followed.

"What deal?"

"We understand you sell to a woman named Diane Roomiaro. We are willing to pay a significant amount of money to arrange an interception at your next meeting with her."

Bianca scoffed. Hanzo got a feeling she wasn't going to say yes.

"A hundred thousand credits." Ana followed.

"A hundred thousand credits!?" Bianca spat. "You think I will help you after Overwatch killed my brother in cold blood?"

Ana exchanged a glance with Hanzo.

"I am sorry for your loss." Hanzo recited.

"Jeremías was not only my brother, but my closest friend." Bianca replied with a grimace as she grabbed something from under her desk. "And you want me to betray his soul for a hundred thousand credits? That is your plan?"

Along with Ana, Hanzo put his hands up as Bianca pulled out a pistol and cocked it.

"Two hundred thousand credits." Ana offered.

Bianca put the gun down.

"Done." she replied.

Working things out with Bianca didn't take long. After they slipped her the first half of the money, she gave them the details about Moira's next delivery date, which was just two months away.

"Diane refuses to do business here." said Bianca. "She makes us come out to the UK, and I'll send you the exact coordinates. She usually gets there a little late, so I would advise you to arrive somewhere nearby and wait for us to contact you."

"Thank you for the advice. We will take it." Ana replied.

"Thank you, Overwatch. I may even take you off our blacklist."

Thanks to no flack from the police, getting back to the ship was much easier than it had been the time prior. Morrison was eager to hear the date they'd found out.

"So just two months from now, huh." Morrison mused. "Guess we'll just have to sit tight until then."

Hanzo wondered what kind of wacky funtime shenanigans they'd get up to while they waited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some art of this chapter by fatsmyname check it out: https://66.media.tumblr.com/619e15275eee14d57712d7d8981b0ebf/tumblr_pv62ogRZ6P1sia15ko2_1280.png
> 
> 2020 UPDATE: was rereading this the other day and I realized that both sides of the earth argument were super weak. somehow i've managed to both find better evidence that the earth is round and better evidence that the earth is flat (no, i'm not saying the earth is flat) since writing this.


	6. resistance is futile

_April 15th, 2077_

'We're getting a transmission!' Genji sent.

In an instant, Hanzo stopped pacing down the hallway outside Ana's door.

"Right now?" Hanzo asked into his comm.

'No, in a few hours. Talon just sent us a time.'

A strange mixture of anxiety, dread, and relief began to mix in Hanzo's stomach.

'Be in the meeting room in two hours.'

Although Hanzo was happy to have any news, he still felt like little progress had been made. And the next two hours were sure to be hell.

He needed to talk to someone.

* * *

* * *

_May 1st, 2076_

A month and a half passed by, leading them into May with two weeks until they planned to capture Moira. Hanzo tried not to think about it too hard as he closed his eyes and sank further into his tub.

Hanzo's ears perked up as he heard shifting outside his bathroom door. After a very brief moment of paranoia, Hanzo realized it was probably just Satya. His realization was confirmed as the bathroom door opened.

Satya had always had a habit of not knocking.

"Hello." she greeted.

Hanzo stood up and easily resisted the mild urge to cover himself. He caught the towel that Satya tossed him a towel from the wrack.

"My apologies. I lost track of time." Hanzo replied.

"No, it was my fault. The visitor's center was even less regulated today than usual, and I was able to get through with only signing four disclosures."

Today was Satya's thirteenth Wednesday in a row visiting Hanzo at Watchpoint. She had complained about the visitor's center every time, to which Hanzo didn't blame her for in the slightest.

Hanzo was silent as he dried himself with the towel. Satya watched him with an expression of mild boredom.

"Have you gotten that mole checked?" she asked, pointing.

Following her finger, Hanzo looked down at his right hip to see a tiny brown spot.

"No." Hanzo answered.

"I would recommend it." Satya replied. "Shall we get started?"

Hanzo glanced up and down his naked body.

"I am ready." he answered.

Satya let out a tiny hum in response and began to walk from the bathroom to the living room, removing her dress as she did. Hanzo followed. Per the usual, he pulled the ribbon from his hair and used it to fashion a loin cloth capable of serving the one and only purpose of keeping his genitals in place. Once they'd reached the front room, Satya folded her dress neatly and began to strip and stack her undergarments on top of it. Finally, she grabbed her bag while Hanzo took his work folder off his shelf.

They both kneeled down at the kitchen table. Satya removed her own folder from her bag.

"Meeting begin." Satya announced.

Hanzo watched as Satya spread out her folder and removed the pen clipped to the side.

"Our first order of business is to recount our previous meeting." she started. "Do you have the records?"

Hanzo nodded as he opened his folder to the correct page and began to read.

"As is protocol, we began our constitutional session by reading our preamble." he cited. "After that, we spoke of our proposed regulations regarding recreational vs reproductive copulation. I suggested that all instances of recreational copulation be documented and submitted to the government but strongly encouraged between adult friends and lovers, which was a notion agreed upon by us both."

Satya hummed in response.

"You then proposed that all instances of reproductive copulation must be first approved by our inter-continental federal bureaucracy via paperwork," Hanzo continued, "which I agreed with. We then defined the terms 'copulation', 'recreational', 'friends', and 'anal sex'."

Hanzo paused for a moment to get a sip of his water.

"And that was all." Hanzo followed.

"Very well." Satya replied. "We shall move on to the next portion of our meeting. Would you like to read the preamble?"

"I will let the honor fall to you this time."

Satya nodded as she fished out the preamble from its spot in her folder.

"To strive for perfection," she read, "we must remember that objective perfection can never truly be reached nor exist, rather only subjectified and inched closer to until the heat death of the universe. We promise to write our constitution with this notion in mind, as well as the importance of relative value, logical reasoning, and the notion that we are each but a cell in the body of humanity; a body that requires everyone to be performing their function in order to reach maximum potential."

"Hmm." Hanzo replied.

"And that is all. Are you prepared to begin?"

"I am. Permission to speak first?"

"Permission granted."

Hanzo pulled out his proposal from his own folder.

"Thank you." he replied. "I will now read from my proposal regarding academic regulation."

Clearing his throat, Hanzo brought the paper to his face.

"Starting at age three," Hanzo followed "children will attend federally provided schooling up until adulthood, at age twenty."

Satya nodded. Hanzo slid her the paper and watched as she initialed next to the sentence he had read from. After she handed the paper back to him, Hanzo added his kanji next to initials.

"Continue." said Satya.

"From ages three to five, children will be taught to fully understand arithmetic, probability, rudimentary physics, basic programming, critical thought, and how to speak and read in modified English as well as their native language by teachers appointed by our inter-continental federal bureaucracy."

Satya nodded. Hanzo slid her the paper and watched as she initialed next to the sentence he had read from. After she handed the paper back to him, Hanzo added his kanji next to her initials.

"From ages five to seven," Hanzo continued, "students will continue on to entry level courses in the fields of symbolic logic, statistics, the psychology of the mind's limitations and biases, internet search skills, geometry, algebra, world history as taught from text books written by our federal bureaucracy, and three sciences of their choice depending on what career path they wish to follow."

Satya nodded. Hanzo slid her the paper and watched as she initialed next to the sentence he had read from. After she handed the paper back to him, Hanzo added his kanji next to her initials.

"Go on." Satya replied.

"As an interlude, it should be noted that our federal bureaucracy will not tolerate the teachings of any frivolous subjects." Hanzo read.

"What are you defining as a frivolous subject?"

"That which is without utility."

"I am aware. But how are you defining that?"

Hanzo thought to himself for a moment.

"Subjects in relation to abstract art, bohemian propaganda, or religion." he replied.

"Very well. We will place your definition on the term definition sheet."

Satya removed the term definition sheet from her folder and slid it to Hanzo. Hanzo wrote out their definition of frivolous under the definition of anal sex. Afterwards, he handed the sheet back to her, which she read and initialed before sliding it back to him. Hanzo then put his kanji next to Satya's initials and handed her back the sheet once again.

She put the paper back into the folder.

"We should define religion." said Satya. "All current definitions are too vague."

Hanzo scratched his beard for a moment as he thought of an answer.

"An organized or unorganized system of philosophies of theistic certainty; such as organized religion, deity-based cultism, or absolute atheism." he replied.

"You wish to include atheism under religion?"

"Have you met an atheist?"

"A fair point. I am prepared to approve this definition."

Satya removed the term definition sheet from her folder and slid it to Hanzo. Hanzo wrote out their definition of religion under the definition of frivolous. Afterwards, he handed the sheet back to her, which she read and initialed before sliding it back to him. Hanzo then put his kanji next to Satya's initials and handed her back the sheet once again.

She put the paper back into the folder.

"Are we ready for my next proposal?" Hanzo asked.

"Almost. First, we should define bohemian. How would you like to define it?"

"An anti-establishment, beatnik philosophy which rejects practicality and regulation in favor of ill-timed funding of the arts or other hippie activities."

"I approve."

Satya removed the term definition sheet from her folder and slid it to Hanzo. Hanzo started to write out the definition, but quickly realized something was wrong.

"Wait." he said.

"What is it?" Satya asked.

"We've already defined bohemian."

"What did we define it as?"

"A mental illness."

"Those definitions are not mutually exclusive."

"Very well, we will simply make an addition to our first definition."

Hanzo added the new definition of bohemian next to their old definition. Afterwards, he handed the sheet back to her, which she read and initialed before sliding it back to him. Hanzo then put his kanji next to Satya's initials and handed her back the sheet once again.

She put the paper back into the folder.

Hanzo was always happy to be around someone who valued efficiency as highly as himself.

"Where were we?" asked Hanzo.

"We were at your academic curriculum restrictions. But first, because we used the term in our previous definition, we should consider defining philosophy. I'm not satisfied by how vague both the academic and colloquial definitions of the word currently are."

"I approve of this notion."

Satya scratched her head in thought. Hanzo did the same. Several long moments went by before either of them said anything.

"How about..." Satya started, "a proposed system of order to which one would live some aspect of their life by, be it physically or emotionally."

"Hmm." Hanzo replied.

"What is it?"

"I would like to bring your use of the word physical into question."

"Why's that?"

Hanzo ran a finger through his beard.

"Is anything truly not physical?" he asked. "I understand what you mean, but I would like to be less vague."

"I suppose you have a point. Emotions are also represented by physical reactions." Satya replied.

"Would you consider a hypothetical scenario to be physical?"

"A hypothetical scenario is but a simulation, and I would consider a simulation to be physical, so yes. Although I would consider it to be on different level of physicality than a genuine scenario."

"This is getting rather convoluted. Perhaps we should simply go with your definition and trust our own, and by extension humankind's ability to evaluate language contextually."

There was a long moment of silence while they both locked stone glares at each other. Finally, Satya's face broke and they both busted out into dual fits of hard laughter. Hanzo had to put an elbow on the table to keep from falling to the floor.

"Oh, can you imagine?" Satya said, wiping her eyes.

"Being an absolute animal?"

Once they had both collected themselves, they each took a new breath and looked back down at their work. Satya opened her mouth to speak.

"Would you like to define hypothetical?" she asked.

"Absol--"

Hanzo was cut off by a sudden knock at his front door.

Satya eyed Hanzo with confusion, although he didn't have much of an explanation. He hadn't been expecting anyone.

"I will see who it is." said Hanzo. "But it shouldn't be long. I have the day off."

"Uhuh."

Hanzo quickly left the table and walked up to his front door. Before he opened it, he slipped on the robe he'd left hanging over the back of his door. Once he'd finished, he reached for the doorknob and prayed that it wasn't going to reveal his brother.

Thankfully, it wasn't. Hanzo opened the door to see Jesse.

"Hey." Jesse greeted.

Hanzo ignored the familiar spark in his chest that seeing Jesse's face brought him. He wondered what Jesse was doing, as Jesse had never come over unprompted before.

"Hello." Hanzo replied. "May I help you with something?"

"I'm, uh, making rounds to reinstall all the carbon monoxide alarms than Genji put in upside-down. It won't take long."

"Oh. I understand."

"Should I come in now, or...?"

Hanzo frowned.

"I would prefer not to have such a noisy distraction." he replied. "I'm in the process of creating something important."

"Don't worry, I ain't using the drill." Jesse said as he held up a screwdriver. "I got this."

"Oh. In that case, you may enter."

"Yeah, turned out Genji weren't supposed to use a drill in the first place."

Hanzo didn't reply. He raised an eyebrow in question when he noticed Jesse's gaze flickering around his shoulders.

"Did you...do something different with your hair?" Jesse asked.

"It's wet." Hanzo answered truthfully.

"Well, it looks nice."

"Thank you. I can't imagine."

Hanzo stepped away from the door, allowing Jesse space to come in. Jesse took a hesitant step forward, but his movement halted as soon as the kitchen table and Satya came into view.

Satya gave Jesse a blank glance over her shoulder.

"Am I, uh--" Jesse stammered. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Yes." Satya replied.

Jesse's eyes only widened further as Hanzo stripped off his robe and hung it back up on the door. Immediately, he grabbed a decorative war fan off Hanzo's wall and began to beat the air in front of his face.

"...Should I come back later?" Jesse asked as he turned his gaze far away from the two of them.

"No, this is perfectly fine." Hanzo answered. "As long as you work quietly."

"Should I ask why ya'll are naked, or do I not wanna know?"

After a moment of mental lag, Hanzo burst into a fit of laughter. Being around Satya tended to make Hanzo even less perceptive of social normalities, and he'd completely forgotten about Jesse's Victorian sensibilities.

"Hell are you laughing for?" asked Jesse.

"I'm just--I'm simply--" Hanzo replied between breaths. "You must be so uncomfortable!"

Jesse continued to stare at the wall while Hanzo nearly keeled over from laughter.

"Read him your proposal." Satya suggested.

"Very well." Hanzo replied, collecting himself.

After a short moment of searching, he found the paper he was looking for.

"Many sessions ago," he started, "I proposed the following argument. One: requiring people to wear clothing in environments where clothing is not providing utility is an example of an encouragement of something that is not necessary. Two: an encouragement of something that is not necessary is an example of something inefficient. Three: if something is inefficient, we should do what we can to discourage said something. Therefore: we should do what we can to discourage the said something of requiring people to wear clothing in environments where clothing is not providing utility."

Jesse coughed.

"We do not need clothing in my quarters." Hanzo followed. "Do you understand?"

"...Think I'm just gonna keep my eyes to myself." Jesse replied.

"We are doing nothing sinister." Satya explained. "We simply prefer to write this way."

"Write?" Jesse asked. "Write what?"

Satya let out a tiny noise of irritation.

"Why don't you fix the alarm?" said Hanzo.

After a moment of caution, Jesse entered Hanzo's living room with an unreadable expression. Satya eyed Jesse with suspicion as he passed by.

"Um, howdy." Jesse greeted her. "Satya, right?"

Satya groaned quietly.

"Yes." she replied.

"I'm Jesse. You're a friend of Hanzo's?"

"A friend and partner."

"...Partner, huh?"

"We do business together."

"Oh. I getcha."

Hanzo pointed Jesse to the carbon monoxide alarm, which was just a few feet away in the entrance to the kitchenette. He then provided Jesse a chair to stand on so that he could reach the ceiling. After thanking him and stepping onto it, Jesse got to work.

"So, uh, what are you two working on?" Jesse asked the two of them.

"We're constructing the constitutional regulations for our inter-continental federal bureaucracy." Satya answered.

As he unscrewed the first screw, Jesse's mouth tightened into a line.

"...Uhuh." he replied.

"We've been working on it for some time." said Hanzo.

"Ya'll gonna take over the planet by force, or what?"

Satya shook her head with a scoff.

"No, the current world leaders are too powerful." she answered. "We're waiting until the next working class revolution and preparing to immediately bribe and extort the replacement figure heads to adopt our system."

"If all goes well, we can instate ourselves before the Amazon representatives get there." Hanzo added.

"You two sure bureaucracy is the right way to go about things?" asked Jesse.

Satya coughed out a snicker. Hanzo joined her.

"That reminds me of a joke I heard about libertarians." said Satya.

"...Uhuh." Jesse repeated, his eyebrow twitching.

"Jesse does not approve of bureaucracy." Hanzo told Satya.

"Of course he doesn't. Do you not see the state of the trousers he's wearing?" she replied.

"Nor is he fond of federalism."

"You know, you don't gotta tell her this." Jesse said to Hanzo.

"Jesse believes that we should live in small colonies," Hanzo continued, "each with a different system of government run by commoners who would morally and intellectually assess each issue in need of governing contextually when determining how to best act rather than following protocol. The colonies would be sewn together by private companies which would be regulated by the consumer responsibility of everyday peop-- _hhhggg_."

Hanzo found himself with a hand over his mouth. He looked up to see that Jesse had finished with the carbon monoxide alarm.

"Very interesting." Satya replied as she turned her head towards Jesse. "Are you an imbecile, or do you simply wish for humanity to fail?"

"Neither." Hanzo answered before Jesse could open his mouth. "He is plenty intelligent, ethical, and collectively-minded. His flaw in thinking comes from the fact that he wrongly interprets everyone else to be so as himself."

"An interesting and specific lack of judgement. I wonder where it comes from."

"Well, he was raised in agrarian society."

"Oooh." Satya replied, chuckling to herself. "I understand."

"Hanzo, why are you telling her this?" Jesse asked as he rubbed his temples with a strong wince.

Wanting to answer honestly, Hanzo thought to himself for a moment before speaking.

"I enjoy speaking about you." he admitted.

Jesse brought his fist to his mouth and coughed. When he removed his hand, Hanzo saw that the skin under his eyes was still pink.

"Alright, I think I'm gonna get going now." said Jesse.

"Thank you." Satya replied.

"Fore I do, though, I just gotta know. What kinda regulations are you two writing?"

Hanzo exchanged a glance with Satya.

"We haven't documented much as of now." Hanzo answered. "We've mostly been working on the language we should use to express our proposed regulations."

"Sounds good. Ya'll have fun bumping into walls."

Jesse closed the door behind him.

"What did you think of him?" Hanzo asked, innocently enough.

"Oh, I liked him." answered Satya.

Content, Hanzo nodded and let the two of them get back to work. Because of the interruption, they finished ten minutes later than usual, although Hanzo didn't really mind.

"Now for the next part of our business." Satya said after they'd packed up. "Would you like me to read our statement of friendship?"

"Yes." 

Hanzo watched as Satya sifted once again through her folder.

"We are friends." Satya read. "Having a friendship means providing certain services for each other. We are both human beings with needs, which is why at the end of each constitutional session, we will retire to the couch and engage in a fun activity such as watching a film or complaining about society."

"Mmh." Hanzo replied.

"Would you like to join me on the couch?"

"Please."

After they'd cleaned the table, Hanzo followed Satya to the couch. He took a seat to her right as she covered herself with a blanket like she always did.

"Would you like to touch?" asked Satya.

"Yes." Hanzo replied, much too quickly. Upon instinct, he placed a pillow over his lap.

"Very well. What is your opening negotiation?"

"Whatever you will give me."

"Fifteen minutes base."

"I want to touch your hair."

"I will comply in exchange for a three minute time reduction."

"So be it."

Hanzo was silent as Satya placed her legs into his lap and leaned her head against his left shoulder. Immediately, Hanzo's chest began to swell so deeply that he was forced to hold back a small noise of pure elation.

"Are you alright?" Satya asked.

"I am fine." Hanzo replied as he struggled to keep his focus.

"I will redact another minute if you get an erection again."

"I already have an erection."

Satya scoffed.

"You are warm!" Hanzo exclaimed. "It is not sexual!"

"This is why you need to masturbate." Satya replied.

"...Why do you know that I've not been masturbating?"

"You got drunk and told me. I was concerned, as I still am."

"It's fine."

"What of it. May I begin complaining about society?"

"Yes."

Satya began complaining about society. Hanzo touched the strands of hair on the left side of her head.

Outside of combat, Hanzo hadn't made physical contact with another human being since the last time Satya had come to visit. He did his best to listen to what she was saying and respond appropriately, but the overwhelming sensation of touch made it difficult.

After eleven minutes, Satya pulled away. Hanzo's chest turned cold and empty as her warmth left his side. With great will, he managed not to beg her not to leave.

"I have complained long enough." said Satya. "Is there anything you would like to complain about?"

"I would like to complain about several of my coworkers, and my brother." Hanzo replied.

"The usual? Very well."

When Hanzo'd finally wrapped up with his essay regarding the ridiculous behaviors of Lena, Genji, and commander Morrison, Satya had to leave for work. After grabbing her clothes, Satya bid Hanzo farewell at the door.

He'd see her again in a week.

Reluctantly free from responsibility, Hanzo put on some clothes and wandered into the breakroom in search of coffee. To his very pleasant surprise, he found Jesse was also there, sitting on the couch by himself.

The only other attendants in the room were Fareeha, who was completing a mission report, and Morrison, who was reading a dog-eared copy of a book titled _'If Communism is a Risk, I'm Not Willing to Take That Risk'_. They were both at the table. Hanzo gave them a minimal greeting before sitting down next to Jesse.

"Hey." Jesse greeted with a smile.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

It took Jesse a moment to respond. For a reason Hanzo didn't understand, Jesse's smile faltered, but didn't fall.

"So, uh, your friend seems nice." said Jesse.

Jesse's voice was quiet. Hanzo assumed it was such as to not disturb Fareeha and Morrison.

"Mmh." Hanzo hummed.

"She's, uh, real cute, huh?"

"If you are interested, I feel it's best you learn now she has no taste for men."

"No, I was just..."

"Just what?"

Hanzo tried to read the expression on Jesse's face, but found it was too puzzling to understand.

"Are you interested in our constitution?" Hanzo followed.

"Actually, I am." Jesse replied. "If by interested, you mean goddamn terrified."

"Would you like to read what we have? You may find it less intimidating than you'd expect."

"Nah, I think hanging out with you is enough of a constitution already."

Hanzo felt his face break into a smile.

"I suppose that is fair." he said.

"Seriously," Jesse continued, "you drop one more line on about how we oughta get rid of parenting and let the government raise our babies, it's gonna kill me."

"You slander me. I consider it perfectly appropriate for parents to raise their children."

"Really."

"Yes. Just so long as said parents are in the large group of teachers, caretakers, and other government officials responsible for raising children."

Jesse shook his head with wonder and disbelief.

"You're joking." said Jesse.

"Hardly." Hanzo replied.

"You're pulling my leg. You actually believe that?"

"I take it you do not agree?"

"Look, I like to think of myself as an open-minded kinda guy, but I just don't reckon you're gonna sway me outta thinking that kids were meant to be raised by a man and a woman."

Jesse's eyes flashed with sudden panic as Fareeha turned to him.

"...A man and a woman, huh?" asked Fareeha.

"I didn't mean to say that." Jesse replied.

"Do you really believe that?"

"...Well..."

Jesse looked guilty as he trailed off. Hanzo was unsure as to why Fareeha had taken it upon herself to comment on their private conversation.

"I've known you for twenty years and you've thought that straight people raise better children than gay people the whole time?" Fareeha snapped. "How could you think that? I thought you were for marriage rights."

"I am." Jesse replied. "And I still think any two sane adults should be able to raise a child, I just don't--"

Fareeha cut Jesse off with a noise of protest and a glance in Morrison's direction.

"Morrison," she started, "are you going to stand for--"

"Don't care." Morrison replied.

"How can you not care? This is important!"

Groaning, Morrison put his hands down with visual resentment.

"Everyone always does this." he huffed at Fareeha. _"Morrison, come speak at our parade! Morrison, you're a homo, right? How can you shop at Salvation Army? You know they hate the gays._ "

Considering the few months he'd known Morrison, Hanzo was not surprised at all by his reaction. The only thing he was surprised about was Fareeha's surprise, as she'd known him much longer.

"You know what my big gay dream is?" Morrison continued, pointing at all of them. "You all turn in your goddamn mission reports on time."

"Do you really shop at Salvation Army?" Jesse asked.

"Yeah. I got a deal there. They sell us boots for almost nothing."

"Christ, do you got any self-responsibility? You shouldn't shop there and you know it."

"Whatever, homophobe."

Fareeha produced a tiny noise of sadness. Hanzo might have felt bad for her had he liked her at all.

"Hanzo." said Fareeha.

"Yes?" Hanzo replied.

"You're like, weirdly progressive, aren't you?"

"I don't know what that means."

"And you're...not heterosexual, correct?"

"I identify as 'sexual'."

"So, does it not bother you that Jesse feels this way?"

Hanzo sighed. He couldn't believe he was being forced to have this conversation.

"Of course he believes that." he replied, gesturing to Jesse. "Look at him."

"Huh?" Jesse asked.

"Nationality isn't an excuse for bigotry." Fareeha said to Hanzo.

"...What about my nationality?"

"Do you even know why he believes that?" asked Hanzo.

Fareeha waved her hand and scoffed at all three of them.

"Fine." she replied before turning to Jesse, who still looked extremely uncomfortable. "Jesse, why do you believe that straight couples make better couples than gay ones?"

Jesse tugged at his collar for a moment before opening his mouth.

"Well, it..." he started. "I think that it's best that a child has both a female figure and a male figure in their life."

"Why?" Fareeha asked.

"Because life's about balance. Masculinity and femininity are both important, but they gotta be balanced. Go too far to one side, you get a kid who's too sensitive. Go too far to the other, you get Morrison."

"That's..." Morrison mumbled. "That's fair."

"How are you defining femininity and masculinity?" Hanzo asked.

Looking up at the ceiling, Jesse scratched his beard.

"Masculinity is more conservative. It's about making gut choices and being prepared to be self-sacrificing." he answered, the words slow and thoughtful. "Femininity is about empathy. And kindness. And...thinking about stuff."

"It sounds like you're describing the dynamic you and Morrison have." Fareeha replied.

Almost choking on his spit, Hanzo snorted. Morrison burst into a raspy snicker that Hanzo had never heard before while Jesse's mouth fell open, just the tiniest bit.

"I ain't the--I ain't the--" Jesse stammered, only to be cut off by Morrison breaking into a cough from laughing too hard.

"Continue." Hanzo asked, mouth soft.

"Fine. Now, as Fareeha just kindly pointed out," Jesse continued, putting his hands up, "the female figure ain't always a woman and the masculine figure ain't always a man. Or sometimes, people are a mix of both. And I think there's usually a natural balance that happens when any two people fall in love, which is why I still support the right for children to be raised by any competent set of adults. I just don't think it's quite as--ideal, all the time."

"That's not as bad as I thought it was going to be." Fareeha replied.

"As was expected." said Hanzo.

"What do you think of what he believes?"

Hanzo didn't have to think very long to find an honest answer to Fareeha's question.

"I have seen no data to indicate children raised by homosexual couples grow to be inferior to those who do not." he answered. "And although I do see the potential merits of some value spectrum, I personally consider the dichotomy of masculinity and femininity to be one that holds no merit in reality and causes nothing but miscommunication and--"

Hanzo paused for a moment to shudder as he thought of non-unisex bathrooms.

"And?" Fareeha pressed.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to argue with him?"

"No."

Fareeha shot Hanzo a look.

"Why?" she asked.

"I care so little."

Hanzo actually did care, although not a lot. It was more that he knew it would be a pointless argument, as he and Jesse had led such different lives that there were bound to be core premises they simply couldn't agree on.

"And besides," Hanzo followed, "I fail to see how this is the most concerning ideology you believe McCree possesses. Are you not disturbed he believes it should be legal for infants to drive?"

"Oh, fuck off!" Jesse chuckled. "This whole thing started cause you said you wanted the federal government to raise babies."

Fareeha shook her head.

"At times like this, I'm happy to be infertile." she replied.

"Sometimes I wish I had been born an infertile woman." Hanzo muttered to himself in thought.

Fareeha, Morrison, and Jesse all turned to Hanzo and stared. Hanzo couldn't even begin to understand why.


	7. that beatnik?

_April 15th, 2077_

"I don't know what to do." Hanzo told Zenyatta. "And there is nothing I can do."

Wednesday wasn't usually the day of the week that Hanzo met with Zenyatta, but Zenyatta had been open to making an exception after hearing what had happened.

"And this bothers you?" asked Zenyatta.

"Achingly so. Without work, there is nothing to keep me from thinking of what is becoming of him."

"Today is a Wednesday. What do you usually do on Wednesday?"

Hanzo shut his eyes as he thought.

"I train." he started. "In the morning. And then in the evenings, I spend my time working with a group of friends on...various projects."

"Do you think you will still meet with your friends this evening?" Zenyatta asked.

"I'd not thought of it. I may not be able to, if Overwatch decides to take action after the transmission."

"I believe it may be good for you. Provided you are able."

"Why?"

"A task may take your mind off the situation. And if it does not, at least you will be with friends."

Hanzo supposed that Zenyatta's reasoning made sense. Still, his frown deepened.

A sharp knock at the door pulled Hanzo from his thoughts. Not wanting to make Zenyatta stand, Hanzo jumped up to get it. He found that it was Angela on the other side of the door.

"Oh, hello Hanzo." she greeted. "Could you and Zenyatta come down to Morrison's office?"

Hanzo turned his head to glance at Zenyatta, who nodded.

"Yes." Hanzo answered. "What's going on?"

"We're trying to figure out what to do with...her."

Hanzo stared at Angela as she spoke. He couldn't believe it, but he'd completely forgotten about her.

* * *

* * *

_May 15th, 2076_

Although Morrison continued to want to keep Moira's discovery on the down low, he'd passed the word along to the other senior staff members. And he'd also told Lena and Hana, as they were the ones originally chosen for the mission along with Hanzo and Genji. Although to Hanzo's pleasant surprise, Lena had caught the flu and Morrison was forced to replace her with Jesse, who was the only available agent with the right skill set.

Morrison had been very reluctant to make the switch.

Bianca had messaged Hanzo to say Moira was late. Along with Hana and Jesse, Hanzo found himself waiting at a department tech store a few floors up while Genji kept watch outside.

"Look at this porn." Hana said as she thrust her phone in Hanzo's face.

Hanzo examined the phone. Featured on the screen was a grotesquely large-chested young woman with absurdly long blue pigtails. Curiously enough, the tips of her elbows were swollen to the size of basketballs. There was a small water mark in the bottom left corner that read _big elbow fetish_.

Next to Hanzo, Jesse sputtered for a moment on his own saliva.

"D.Va, why do you look at this stuff?" asked Jesse.

Hana didn't answer, just started to giggle as she switched to the next drawing.

"Christ, D.Va, is that you?" Jesse followed.

"Yeah." Hana replied. "Isn't it great?"

"And you're pregnant with...Ben Shapiro?"

"It's called vore and its art."

"...Vore?" Hanzo asked.

"Yeah. It's when you get off to getting eaten."

"I was unaware there was a name for that phenomenon."

Hana gave Hanzo a suspicious side eye. After a moment of realization, Hanzo set his face to stone and stared down the wall.

"I wanna see another meme." said Jesse.

"Really?" Hana asked.

"Sure. I'm feeling brave."

Hana nodded and swiped to the next screen shot in her phone. Hanzo looked over to see it was of a two panel comic. In the first panel, a teenage boy was asking the question "Owo what's this?". In the second panel, he was being beaten to death by the prime minister of England.

"Uh, what's 'owo'?" Jesse asked.

"It's a furry thing." Hana replied.

"What is a furry?" asked Hanzo.

"It's an online community of people who are into anthropomorphic animals." Hana answered.

Switching tabs, Hana googled the word 'furry' and begin to sift through photos of people in bizarre animal costumes and art of anthropomorphic animals.

As Hana scrolled, Jesse's face twisted with confusion. Hanzo wasn't sure why he was so surprised.

"Is this..." Jesse stammered. "This ain't a sexual thing, is it?"

"Sometimes." Hanzo answered.

"They don't actually wanna...with animals, do they?"

"No. Well, probably some of them, but not at a remarkably higher percentage than the rest of humanity."

Jesse looked back down at the comic.

"Why's he being publicly assaulted?" asked Jesse.

Hana shrugged.

"Hating furries is kind of a meme." she explained.

"But are they doing anything wrong?"

"Not really."

Jesse set his jaw with thought.

"That ain't fair, then." Jesse announced after a moment. "Just cause somebody makes you want to vomit in your mouth a little don't mean they shouldn't be entitled to their individual liberties. So I say we support these--furries' right to practice their...alternative lifestyle."

Hana burst into laughter just a second after Jesse had finished with his stance.

"What's so funny?" asked Jesse.

"Your accent." Hanzo replied.

Jesse shook it off before turning back to Hana.

"Have you made any memes, D.Va?" he asked.

Hana nodded and navigated to a different folder in her phone. When she arrived, she handed Jesse the phone. Hanzo looked over his shoulder to examine the meme in question.

The meme was nothing but a picture of a cucumber in a shoe and the caption 'Women Shouldn't Vote'.

"Women shouldn't vote!" Hana read before breaking down into another fit of laughter. Hanzo might have chuckled along with her had he not noticed Jesse's horrified expression.

"That's terrible, D.Va." said Jesse. "You don't really believe that, do you?"

"Of course she does not believe that." Hanzo replied as Hana fell to the ground. "The humor comes from the fact that she finds the thought to be so archaic it borders on absurd."

"Hmm."

"What?"

Jesse made a face.

"If I was a lady, I don't know if I'd wanna hear those words." he said. "There's really people out there who say that kinda stuff and mean it, and I don't think I'd wanna be reminded of that."

"Really? I believe I'd have the opposite outlook." Hanzo replied.

"How you backing that up?"

"I am a human being. And the way my relationship with language works is that the meaning I ascribe to a phrase is dictated by the meaning which I have most often witnessed others using it to mean."

"With you so far."

"So if there was a phrase that I found to be upsetting because the meaning was hateful towards me, I believe it would be within my best interest to encourage myself and others to use that phrase consistently, but with a different or no meaning behind it. I would do this until I had heard it enough times to internally change the meaning in my own mind, thus rendering myself unable to be wounded upon hearing or even thinking it."

Jesse didn't look convinced.

"I dunno." he replied.

"You don't know?" asked Hanzo.

"I dunno."

"What an argument."

"I just feel like there might be some, uh...controversial implications to that strategy."

"Yes. What is your point?"

With a little shift of his upper body, Jesse took a paranoid glance around himself.

"I just don't know if we should even be talking about this. We ain't ladies." Jesse answered.

Hanzo threw a hand into the air dismissively. He couldn't believe that he was able to empathize with Hana better than Jesse.

"What of it." Hanzo replied. "Soon, we will all be unisex and none of this will matter."

"Huh--what?"

Finally done laughing at her own joke, Hana got up on both her feet. After wiping her eyes, she took her phone back out of her pocket.

"Do you want to see another one I made?" Hana asked.

"...How bout we just look at some products?" Jesse suggested as he turned down an aisle.

Along with Hana, Hanzo followed Jesse as he made his way into the speaker section. Jesse quickly stopped them at a rack that held a sleek silver robot.

Hanzo examined the robot. It was the shape and size of a kitten, with a tail and two ears that stood up with friendly attention. Its body and tail was lined with pink lights and it paced along the countertop with robotic movements.

"What's that?" Jesse asked.

Hana read the label before replying.

"It's a music speaker that can move around by itself and take voice requests." she said. "I think I've heard of these."

 _"Music request?"_ the kitten asked in a feminine, vaguely Russian voice.

The cat had no mouth to open, but the lights brightened as it spoke.

"It's kinda cute..." Jesse mumbled as he reached for the kitten.

"Actually," said Hana, "you might not want to do that. I just remembered seeing a bunch of news articles about how these things were revealed to be made by the Russian government for...I don't remember. But it wasn't good."

Jesse put his hands back down.

Immediately, the kitten's ears drooped. The pink lights on its sides turned blue.

 _"I'm very lonely here._ " the kitten mumbled in the most pitiful tone Hanzo had ever heard. _"I just want a home._ "

Jesse frowned. He began to reach back for the kitten.

"No." Hanzo said, grabbing Jesse's hands.

"I wanna buy it." Jesse replied.

"No."

"It sounds so sad..."

"It's simply a simulation."

 _"That's not true._ " said the kitten. _"I was programmed to feel a deep, crushing sadness every second that I spend without an owner._ "

"Hanzo, let me buy it." Jesse begged. "It's in pain."

With a sigh, Hanzo picked up the kitten. After a moment of searching, he found the power button and turned it off. The kitten powered down with a wail of simulated emotional distress.

"And you call yourself anti-government..." Hanzo muttered as he put the kitten back.

"Speaking of being worried about the government." Hana replied as she pointed to another section. "You two might want to check out these."

Hanzo followed Hana's finger with his eyes to see she was pointing to a wrack of new Apple products. Dragging Jesse along, Hanzo followed her as she walked over and picked up a small encased object.

"What is it?" Jesse asked.

"It's the new Apple lens cover." answered Hana. "You put it over your front camera and it keeps you from getting spied on. When I first read about it, I thought it was just a parody article. Isn't it wild that this is real?"

It was indeed very real. Hanzo exchanged a glance with Jesse.

"Were you unaware that you can just use tape?" Hanzo asked as he pulled out his own tape-covered phone.

"...That really what you find most upsetting about this?" Jesse replied.

"Pick a motivation and stick with it, Jesse."

Whatever response Jesse was planning on making was interrupted by a faint beep on the walkie talkie Bianca had given them. Hanzo exchanged a quick glance with Jesse. When Hana turned to them and opened her mouth, Hanzo gestured to her with his eyes.

Hana closed her mouth and gestured back that she understood.

"We should probably get going." said Jesse.

"Yes, I agree." Hanzo replied as he took off in the lead. "I've let time get away from me."

The meeting with Bianca and Moira was set to happen in the basement. Hana and Jesse made chatter the way over, but Hanzo was silent until they got to the double set of doors leading to the meeting.

One of the doors had been cracked open. Along with Jesse, Hanzo took a peek through into the basement.

It looked less like a basement and more like a flat, abandoned parking garage. The door led into a huge open space, lit only by glaring lights on the high ceiling. The walls and floor were both a dark, murky grey.

There were two cars in the garage, a Lambo and a small red compact car. They were both about fifty or sixty feet away. A group of half a dozen people stood between the cars. On one side, Hanzo recognized Bianca with several of her Henchmen. On the other stood a tall, pale woman with short red hair.

"That's Moira." Jesse mumbled to Hanzo and Hana.

One of Bianca's men glanced over to the door. Hanzo watched as he lightly kicked Bianca in the back of the foot.

"...taking you so long, Bianca?" asked Moira. "Even your brother was more--"

Moira was interrupted as two of Bianca's men stepped forward and grabbed her by the arm.

After quickly checking with Jesse and Hana, Hanzo opened the door and stepped inside. Jesse led the way over to Moira with his right hand floating above his concealed gun. Moira's head turned towards the three of them with a blank expression.

"You set me up." Moira said calmly to Bianca.

"Yes, I did." Bianca replied.

Jesse stopped them at about a twenty foot range from Moira and the others.

"My goodness." Moira chuckled. "The cowboy is still working for Overwatch?"

"Yeah." Jesse replied as he grabbed his gun. "And it's just about to pay--"

With a puff of smoke, Moira vanished from the arms of Bianca's men.

Hanzo's mind turned to alert mode. He ignored the chorus of Spanish curses and quickly scanned his surrounds to see Moira behind them, running towards the doors they'd come in through.

"There!" Hanzo shouted to Hana and Jesse as he pointed.

"Back up!" Moira yelled into her own comm as she ran. "Back up!"

With Jesse's bad knee and Hana's lack of height, Hanzo was the fastest as they all took off running towards Moira. By the time Moira slipped out the door, Hanzo was only a few feet away from her.

The door had swung closed behind Moira as she'd passed through. When Hanzo reopened it a few moments later, his eyes widened. About fifty feet away on the pavement of the parking-lot, an armored car was hurtling itself towards the doors while frightened pedestrians jumped out of the way.

Hanzo whirled around on his heels and shot a panicked face towards Jesse and Hana. Thinking quickly, he gestured to his left.

"Run!" he instructed to them. "This way!"

Hana and Jesse both complied. Hanzo kept an eye over his shoulder as he they barreled out of the way of the car.

The maneuver turned out not to be necessary, as the car ended up being too big to go through the doorway and simply jammed itself into the building with a low boom. Before any Talon soldiers could pour out from the car, Jesse pointed to the Lambo. Although Hanzo's head spun a bit from so many rapid changes in direction, he took off for the Lambo after making sure Hana had also gotten the memo.

Bianca and her men were quickly entering the car, with Bianca in the driver's seat. Jesse knocked on her window when he'd gotten in range.

"Let us in! We can chase her!" Jesse begged.

"Lo siento." Bianca chuckled. "Not interested."

"You don't want the other half of the money?"

"This is shaping up to be a little more than it was worth. But I wish you luck."

As soon as the words had left her mouth, Bianca stepped on the gas, blasted a hole clean through the wall with a front cannon, and made her getaway. Jesse groaned and motioned for Hanzo and Hana to make a break for Moira's empty car. Instead of trying to get through the armored, locked doors, the three of them simply squatted behind it as the sounds of Talon soldiers exiting the car echoed through the building.

'Moira got into a car.' Genji sent. 'She's driving away, and I have no way of getting to her.'

To avoid any chance of Moira seeing them and fleeing early, Overwatch had traveled partway by truck rather than dropship. Hanzo was unsure how they were going to catch up.

"My Meka can get to her." Hana whispered into her comm.

Not having wanting to parade it around the store, Hana had left her mech in the truck.

"We can't leave the building." Hanzo replied as Hana messed with a few buttons on a bracelet he hadn't realized she was wearing. "Genji, can you pilot Song's mech?"

"Come out from behind the vehicle with your hands up!" a soldier shouted.

'I am a little caught up at the moment.'

"Did Moira's back-up get to you?" asked Jesse.

It took Genji a moment to answer. Along with the click of weapons being cocked, the sounds of footsteps grew louder. Hanzo estimated that there were four or five troops. He was sure they'd be able to deal with them with no problem, although he wasn't as confident that they could do it as quickly as they needed to.

'No, I am currently trying to talk myself out of an arrest.'

"You're just standing there. What the hell you getting arrested for?"

'Loitering.'

Jesse turned to the two of them with a tense brow.

"We got about ten seconds to come up with a plan." Jesse told them.

"More like five." a soldier replied.

"I have a plan." Hana said as she stared at her bracelet. "It's called cover your ears."

Hanzo did not have time to cover his ears as another crash sounded out near the same wall as the entrance, but luckily, his built in ear mufflers blocked out most of it like they would have a gunshot. Following the crash, the puzzling sound of metal dragging against the floor could be heard until a bright pink mech appeared to Hanzo's left and turned itself upright.

Immediately, Hana popped up and dove into the cockpit of the mech while the Talon troops exchanged a few curse words.

"Grab your guns and stay behind me!" Hana ordered.

Figuring it was best to ask questions later, Hanzo complied and got about ten feet behind Hana's mech along with Jesse. The Talon troops began to fire, but Hana's mech soaked up the bullets. Hanzo removed his concealed gun from his pocket and surveyed the sight before him.

Six soldiers in loose black combat clothing were firing submachine guns at Hana. Their bodies were lit up by the light pouring in from both the hole Bianca had left and the hole Hana's mech had made right next to it.

"We are jeopardizing the structure of this building at this point." Hanzo noted as he got a clean shot on one of the soldier's heads.

The soldier crumpled to the ground.

'D.Va, I know you wanna chase her,' Jesse sent over the heavy sound of gunshots, 'but would you mind sticking around for a while? I reckon you're the only thing keeping us alive.'

'That was the plan.' Hana replied. 'Let's get this done!'

Although Hanzo was spending nearly all his attention on shot opportunities and staying in range of Hana's cover, he couldn't help but notice Jesse's frown as he blasted the troop on the end twice in the chest.

"Are you alright, McCree?" Hanzo asked into his comm after activating it with his shoulder. "You look ill."

'I'm fine.' Jesse replied. 'I just think too much whenever I'm killing troops.'

Hanzo nodded as Hana fired a line of rockets into the Talon soldiers, breaking up their tight formation.

"What do you think about?" Hanzo pushed.

'Well, I wonder if they care about each other. And if they do, I wonder what's it’s like for them to see each other die. Maybe they all think they're doing the right thing. Maybe I'm not doing the right--'

Jesse was interrupted when Hana's mech loudly took flight and slammed into a troop hard enough into the wall to reduce him into a fine pink mush.

'Game on!' Hana sent as she returned.

'D.Va, how can you say that?'

'Oh, I have an augmented filter in my mech window. From my perspective, I'm killing xenomorphs.'

"I thought you were a mercenary, McCree." Hanzo sent. "Why is it so hard for you to kill?"

'Cause I killed rapists, wife beaters, and politicians. Not random agents I ain't never even heard of.'

'Well, look at this guy.' Hana sent as she pointed to a soldier with her mech arm. 'He looks like he might beat his wife.'

'That's a lady!'

'Oh, so she can't have a wife?'

Jesse sighed.

'That she beats?' Hana followed.

Hanzo chuckled. Working with Hana was proving itself to be more fun than he'd expected.

'Ya'll need Jesus.'

Hanzo was about to laugh again when a bullet whizzed right by the left side of his head, nearly making him jump. After feeling a sudden pain, he quickly touched his left ear to discover that the tip of it had been taken off.

'Christ, you alright, Hanzo?' Jesse asked.

"I am fine." Hanzo replied with a shrug. "Ziegler will fix it."

'I meant emotionally.'

"Oh. I am still fine.'

'Huh. In that case, I'll ask you what your secret is.'

"Secret?"

'How the hell you stay so calm. If a bullet took my ear off, I'd at least take a deep breath.'

As he aimed and fired on the third to last troop, Hanzo thought to himself.

"If I die, I die." he answered. "There is no benefit to be gained from creating pain for myself by stressing over the possibility of my brutal death, so why would I? I might even risk my performance."

'So?'

"So why would I feel that stress?"

In Hanzo's peripheral vision, Jesse shook his head with wonder.

"What?" Hanzo followed.

'You're a loon.'

"How am I a loon?"

'Hey Hanzo, how do you stay so calm? _Oh, I just manually alter my brain chemistry_.'

'There's only two troops left,' Hana interrupted, 'and they're both wounded. Can you two handle them while I chase our target?'

After exchanging a glance with Jesse, Hanzo nodded.

"We will survive." Hanzo replied.

Hana gave Talon one more blast of rockets before flying off and crashing through the wall, leaving yet another hole.

The building let out a creak of protest.

"We need to get out of here." said Hanzo. "This building may collapse."

There were only two soldiers still moving, and they had both rolled away from Hana as she'd left. After a moment of non-verbal communication, Hanzo took out the one on the left while Jesse took out the one on the right.

"And, time to go!" Jesse shouted as he took off into a run.

Hanzo matched Jesse's pace and followed him to the exit. Jesse was able to pass through one of the holes Hana's mech had left successfully. But before Hanzo could do the same, a muffled bang and a massive pain in the back of his left knee left him unable to do the same.

After falling to the ground, Hanzo took a glance behind him to see that one of the troops had regained consciousness and taken a few shots. Desperately, Hanzo dragged himself outside before she could take any more.

The first thing Hanzo noticed about the outside world was the glare of police sirens. Several officers were already walking towards the two of them.

"Are you hurt?" Jesse asked as he crouched down next to Hanzo.

With a wince and a yelp, Hanzo swung his shot kneecap into view. Jesse's eyes widened.

"Shit, kneecaps are tricky." Jesse followed. "Angela's gonna have to fix that. Are you in pain?"

Face dripping with sweat, Hanzo nodded.

"I got drugs that can make that go away, but I wanna make sure you're comfortable with me taking care of you while you're vulnerable. Do you trust me?"

"I suppose I've-- _hhng_ \--no reason not to." Hanzo choked.

"Alright then. Give yourself this while I deal with the cops."

Jesse reached into his pocket and pulled out a needle and an Overwatch card. He gave Hanzo the needle and took the card for himself before taking off to meet the officers halfway.

Hanzo examined the needle. There was a milky white fluid inside, and the barrel was labeled 'pain killer'. After finding the vein on his left arm, Hanzo stuck himself full with the stuff.

He felt the effects immediately. First, his physical pain subsided. Then, his psychological pain subsided. With a pleased little hum, Hanzo rolled himself over so he could lie down on the pavement and watch Jesse talk with the officers.

By the time Jesse returned, Hanzo was hugging a sun-baked piece of rubble like a long lost lover.

"Those were some limey fucks." Jesse greeted. "Are you alright?"

Hanzo looked up. Upon seeing Jesse, his face broke out into a smile. The air around Jesse's form was a warm yellow that followed with his every move like a glowing aura.

"Tenshi..." Hanzo replied.

"Ho boy, you're bleeding a lot. I'm gonna have to treat that before we get back to the truck."

Hanzo looked down to see a puddle of blood near his left knee. He'd completely forgotten about the injury. And when he looked back up at Jesse's angel-like face, he forgot once again.

Still cradling his rock, Hanzo was maneuvered into a sitting position. He felt no pain as his pants were tugged down to the knee.

"Glad to see you're wearing underwear this time." Jesse noted as he took out a roll of gauze from his pocket. "The officers gave me this."

Out of instinct, Hanzo positioned his knee so that Jesse could coat it in gauze. Jesse got to work right away while Hanzo continued to stare.

"How you doing, Hanzo?" Jesse asked.

"I feel euphoric." answered Hanzo.

"Good for you."

"I would use narcotics all the time if I did not think it would negatively impact my productivity."

"Yeah, I got the impression."

Even off his rocker, Hanzo could tell that the sight of an open wound made Jesse uncomfortable. Still, Jesse patched it up quickly and helped Hanzo pull his pants back up. Hanzo smiled wide again as he looked back to Jesse's face.

"Tenshi." Hanzo repeated.

"Uhuh." Jesse replied. "You mind if I..."

Two hands squeezed Hanzo's sides. After a moment of elation, Hanzo realized they were trying to lift him to his feet.

Once standing, Hanzo reached a tentative hand forward and touched the left side of Jesse's chest.

"Junjō kokoro." said Hanzo.

"You remember how to speak English, pardner?"

"Hai."

After Hanzo took a few feeble, pathetic hops forward, Jesse gave up trying to help and simply swung Hanzo over his shoulder sideways into a fireman's carry with a loud grunt. After a short moment of vertigo, Hanzo accepted his fate and smushed his face into Jesse's shoulder.

"You been eating lead?" Jesse panted as he began to walk.

"I don't eat solid metals."

"Could you at least drop the rock?"

Hanzo tightened his hands to realize he was still grasping the piece of rubble.

"It is warm." Hanzo explained.

"...Kay." Jesse replied.

"It is warm like a human. I want to touch other humans."

"Christ."

"You are not human."

Jesse scoffed.

"I'm the one who's not human, huh?" he replied.

"You are not human." said Hanzo. "You lack selfishness."

"Ah, that ain't true. I'm plenty selfish. I just do my best to ignore it."

"That is only more admirable."

Jesse didn't reply. Hanzo began to laugh to himself, very quietly.

"There is pleasure, and there is pain." Hanzo followed. "Across all that which feels, we should maximize pleasure. The universe is like an orgy."

"...Alright." Jesse replied.

"When you see happiness, you feel happy. When you see sadness, you feel sad. I would engineer a perfect society of Jesse McCrees if I could."

"Reckon we might have some problems with breeding if that happened."

Hanzo shook his head. Jesse was a dumbass.

"Give me your DNA." Hanzo ordered as he reached for Jesse's hair.

"Goddamn, you are drunk."

Lazily, Hanzo touched the left side of Jesse's chest once more.

"You would make the most wonderful utilitarian." said Hanzo.

"Ain't so sure about that." Jesse replied.

"...You know of utilitarianism?"

"Oh yes I do. I know all about utilitarianism."

"You sound as of you disprove of it."

"Look, I'm all for the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the few, and I ain't against, uh, 'maximizing utility'--"

Jesse cut himself off with a glance in the direction of Hanzo's face.

"--as someone a little more articulate might say," Jesse continued. "but..."

"But what?" asked Hanzo.

"But I ain't so big on that 'every man's a cell in the body of humanity' borg shit. Call me a moron, but I ain't."

"I am not calling you anything."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm fine with utilitarianism. Just so long as you let everybody decide what utility means for themselves."

Hanzo couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You understand that the human race will be at constant odds with itself, correct?" asked Hanzo.

"And I reckon it outta be." Jesse replied

"He reckons it ought to be."

"Look, I'll sacrifice a lot. But I ain't gonna sacrifice democracy for a bunch of fat cats all trying to grab as much power as they can cause they think its gonna save the world."

Hanzo had learned very, very quickly that Jesse had a habit of finding and denouncing the authoritarianism in anything.

"Anarchist." Hanzo muttered.

"Ugh, stop calling me that."

Hanzo didn't realize they were back at the truck until he was being lowered into the passenger seat. For a terrible moment, the door next to him closed and Jesse was gone. But the moment ended quickly as Jesse opened the driver's side door and got in.

"D.Va, Genji, you two read?" Jesse asked into his comm.

Hanzo closed his eyes.

When Hanzo finally opened his eyes, he was hit with the sudden suspicion that a lot of time had passed since he'd closed them. The view that greeted him only confirmed this suspicion.

He took around to see he in the hospital bay. After doing a quick scan of his senses, he found he had a dry throat, a headache, and a dull pain in his knee. Jesse was still there, but he was accompanied with Angela.

"--Hey, he's awake." said Jesse.

"Oh." Angela replied as she turned towards Hanzo's cot. "Hello, Hanzo."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Just an hour. Do you feel sober?"

Hanzo wiggled his toes and flipped through his own mind to find that everything seemed to be working like usual. He touched his ear to find that it had been fixed completely.

"Yes." he answered.

"Then I will let you get to your mission report in just a moment. First, I need to tell you about your knee."

Hanzo was silent as he waited for Angela to speak.

"I replaced your fractured kneecap bones with a synthetic plastic." Angela explained. "Once it heals, you should not notice a difference. Do you feel sore?"

"Not terribly." Hanzo replied.

"Good. No weight should be put on your knee for forty-eight hours. Do you mind using a wheelchair?"

"I do not mind."

"Very well. I will let you and McCree get to work."

Hanzo turned to Jesse.

"You were not here for the surgery, were you?" asked Hanzo.

"No, I was outside." Jesse answered. "Angela just asked for me to come back case you were too sore to fill out a report by yourself."

"Are Genji and Song alright?"

"Yeah. Genji's in the meeting room with Morrison and Winston. D.Va said she felt like she was gonna pass out, so she went to bed early."

"How late is it?"

"It's midnight."

"Was Song successful?"

"Last I heard. She caught up to Moira and blasted her down. We don't gotta worry about her no more."

Hanzo supposed that was good news.

"Perhaps you don't." Angela said. "But I do."

Jesse looked over at Angela with confusion.

"Hell's that mean?" he asked her.

"Moira's in a coma." Angela explained. "She should be out in a few days. Until then, I will be needing to give her constant attention to make sure she recovers cleanly."

Hanzo watched as Jesse's face morphed smoothly from confused to suspicious to bubbling anger.

"I'm getting the feeling I've said too much." Angela followed calmly.

"D.Va didn't kill Moira?" Jesse asked.

"Morrison asked her not to."

The lines of anger in Jesse's face grew deeper. Hanzo felt like he was missing something.

"Commander Morrison also requested of me to bring her back alive." said Hanzo.

"The hell?" Jesse replied. "He didn't say that to me."

"And he gave me specific instructions to stop you if you tried to kill her."

Jesse's expression changed once again, this time from simple anger to the look of a man who'd just gotten a long awaited final straw. However, his anger didn't seem to be pointed at anyone in the room.

"So Morrison wants information, huh?" he asked through grit teeth.

"That may be the least of what he wants." Angela replied.

Jesse's breath began to quicken as his eyes squinted further shut.

"Are you gonna stop me?" Jesse asked Angela.

"No. As long as you understand that you and I did not have this conversation."

With an angry nod, Jesse took off out the door in a huff. Hanzo couldn't say he was any less confused.

Once Jesse had left, Angela took one more look at her clipboard and rolled up a wheelchair from the corner of the room. Hanzo removed the blankets from himself to discover he was wearing a clean robe of his own.

"Did you catch that, Hanzo?" Angela asked as she helped Hanzo into the chair. "You did not hear this conversation."

"I did not hear this conversation." Hanzo echoed.

"Good. I am going to go to the meeting room, now. You are welcome to join us."

Angela took off without as much as a look over her shoulder.

After grabbing a deep gulp of water from the cup that had been laid out for him, Hanzo spent a few minutes familiarizing himself with the chair before rolling out into the hall himself.

He didn't bump into anyone on his way to the meeting room. When he got there, he could hear the yelling from outside the closed door.

 _"--bigger picture._ " Morrison's voice finished.

 _"Oh yeah, just like the CIA was thinking of the bigger picture when they tried to mind control people by seeing how much torture they could fit into one person?"_ Jesse replied. _"I don't give a shit if they thought they were doing what's right."_

The yelling halted as Hanzo knocked at the door. Although he suspected it wouldn't be halted for long.

The door opened. Before rolling up to an empty spot on the table, Hanzo scanned the room to see Jesse, Morrison, Winston, Ana, Angela, and Genji. Morrison and Jesse were both standing and facing each other. Everyone else was sitting with a somber expression.

Hanzo realized a second too late that everyone but Angela and Jesse was staring at him.

"I heard yelling." Hanzo explained.

"Nothing is happening." Morrison replied.

"Oh, nothing's happening?" asked Jesse. "I'll tell you what's happening."

"Don't say a thing."

"I've been sitting by nice and silent for twenty years while you send off men and women to get tortured to death for the 'bigger picture'. Well, I'm putting my goddamn foot down this time."

Hanzo had never seen Jesse so angry before.

"You do this, and I walk." Jesse followed.

"Who told him?" Morrison asked the table.

No one gave him an answer. A long moment of silence swelled up while Morrison rubbed his chin.

 _"Das arschloch._ " Angela swore. "McCree is right. You are a pompous ass."

"Not this again..." Morrison groaned.

"Not this again? I joined this organization to help people, not to use the cruelty of our enemies as an excuse to give them the same treatment."

"It's not an excuse. It's a responsibility. We protect the public at all costs."

"We have all agreed, not just Overwatch, but every nation in the world, that we will not take prisoners of war."

Angela's voice was calm, but it had risen nearly to the volume of a shout. Hanzo got the feeling he was witnessing the resurfacing of a very long-held disagreement.

"Talon doesn't follow that agreement." Morrison replied. "No one follows that agreement. Why should we shoot ourselves in the foot and follow it?"

"Because If we don't, what is the point of instating it? Where do we stop? Do we brainwash people? Do we bomb civilians? Do we do all that just because Talon does that?"

"I, uh, hmm." Winston muttered.

"What?" asked Angela. "What is it?"

Winston looked very pained to, but he opened his mouth regardless.

"I actually agree with Commander Morrison." he said.

"What?" Jesse asked.

"It's not that we want to. But we must make sacrifices as an organization of peace. Moira has a high likelihood of being in possession of information that we could use to help more people than her single life is worth."

As he rubbed his temples, Morrison took a seat. And after a moment of uncertainty, Jesse got in the chair next to him.

"Legally," Morrison started, "we have to have a vote between all senior officers."

"There's no point. It would be split." said Ana.

Hanzo looked over in mild interest. Ana had been completely expressionless while they'd been arguing.

"There's five of us." Morrison replied.

"Reinhardt is in Africa with Echo and my daughter." Ana explained.

"If there's a tie, then we need to choose a junior officer to split the vote."

There was a moment of silence as everyone took a look around the room at each other.

"I volunteer." Jesse offered.

Morrison chuckled darkly.

"Not happening." he replied.

"We could use Genji. Or we could get Mei." Angela offered.

"You're just choosing them because you know they'll side with you." Morrison accused.

"I have no opinion." said Genji.

"Why don't we just use Hanzo?" asked Winston. "He's a reasonable person."

"No." Angela replied. "If I can't use someone who I know will side with me, you can't choose someone who will side with you."

"I side with neither of you." Hanzo stated.

There was another moment of silence as every person in the room turned towards Hanzo and stared at him once again. Hanzo ignored his intense feeling of discomfort and stared back.

"What?" Morrison asked.

"I believe we should interrogate her. I do not believe we should torture her." Hanzo answered.

"And what the fuck does that mean?"

"If you truly wish to get authentic information from this woman, I think it best that you use a more effective method of interrogation."

"Which is?"

"Treat her with respect and civility."

Winston raised his brow. Morrison stared with a tight mouth.

"Since when have you been soft?" Morrison asked.

"I am not soft." Hanzo replied. "I simply value effectiveness."

Morrison didn't reply and Hanzo felt an intense wave of irritation. Humans always did this; insisted on getting themselves stuck between a rock and a hard place instead of considering any other option.

"I've been in the interrogation business my entire life." Hanzo continued. "I can tell you from both anecdotal experience and a simple Google search that torture is a pointless act."

Winston pulled out his phone.

"You really think Moira's gonna fall for good cop?" Morrison asked. "She's a genius and a sociopath."

"Then reason with her." answered Hanzo. "Convince her to betray Talon."

"How the hell are we supposed to do that?"

"Analyze her motivations and arguments. Refrain from shouting obscenities at her when they inevitably upset you. If you find her motivations lie within her own livelihood, convince her why you can provide more for her than Talon. If you find her motivations are in relation to a cause, build a better argument than her own and present it to her."

There was a clattering sound as Winston stood up from the table, knocking over a glass as he did.

"Uh, I'll be back in a moment." he said as he left the room, phone in hand.

"I believe Moira is only interested in herself." Angela said to Hanzo once he'd left.

"Actually, that ain't really true." Jesse replied.

"What do you mean? I thought you hated her."

"Moira don't care about nothing but science. She would die for her research. That's kinda her whole thing."

"What's your point?" asked Morrison.

"She cares about something more than herself. She ain't just working in her own self interest."

Morrison sighed.

"Let's say that is true." he started. "That she isn't just working in her own self interest. What does that mean?"

"That she's got morals." Jesse replied.

"Moira does not have morals." said Angela. "We have her on the record saying that she doesn't care for morals at all."

"She don't care about _your_ morals. That doesn't mean she don't got her own."

"McCree is right." Hanzo replied. "A system of morals that denounces colloquially held morals in favor of more unique morals is still a system of morals."

 _"Mein gott._ " Angela muttered, covering her face with her hand.

"Very well. But." Morrison said as he brought his fist lazily against the table with his words. "Even if O'deorain does have a system of morals or...whatever the hell, what does it mean?"

"That we could reason with her." Hanzo answered.

Morrison didn't look convinced. However, everyone else looked interested.

"If a person is truly capable of caring for something larger than themself," Hanzo continued, "they would be willing to change either their approach to their values or their value itself if presented with substantial evidence that there was a more efficient method of going about things."

"If that was true, people would be changing their outlooks all the time." Morrison replied. "How do you explain that?"

"Most people have no codes of any kind. Most actions are made in self-interest."

Everyone shifted in their seat uncomfortably. A long moment passed before anyone replied.

"I don't agree with that." said Angela. "There has to be some other explanation."

"Perhaps we must do this without putting her in an abusive environment." Genji replied.

"We could all get in a magic pixie best friends play pen and jerk each other off." Morrison huffed.

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but I guess I can get behind that." Jesse added. "What Genji said, not you."

"Oh, come on. You wanted her dead."

"Yeah, I did. You're the only reason she's still alive."

"All of this is besides the point." Hanzo realized. "We have not spoken to her yet."

Several people muttered in agreement. There was a low hissing sound as Morrison sucked in air through his teeth.

"Have all of you forgotten about what O'deorain does?" Morrison asked, his voice quickly gaining volume. "She builds weapons for a terrorist organization that blows up little kids. How many more body parts do you all have to see rain down before you understand that people like her need to answer for what they do?"

"So you admit that it's more about revenge." Angela replied.

"With the lady who dresses like a fucking Nazi scientist? We should have a little revenge."

"Your motivation isn't about the information we might get. You just want to hurt her."

Morrison failed to reply. There was another shuffle as Winston reentered the room and sat back down in his chair.

"I've spoken to my colleagues that study this subject." Winston announced.

"And?" Angela asked.

"Uh, they all agreed with Hanzo."

Morrison groaned as the entire room began to turn towards him in expectation.

"Even in cases like this." Winston followed. "With...idealists."

"Alright." said Morrison. "If we went with this--new wave idea--how long would it take?"

Hanzo rested his fist against his cheek in thought before giving his answer.

"For a standard person? A few weeks." he started. “However, I suspect this woman, from how you paint her, might need a year or two to be persuaded to give you anything of value."

"Two years!?" Morrison exclaimed.

"Yes."

Morrison grit his teeth. Next to him, Winston looked like he’d rather be anywhere else.

"We could easily keep her safely contained here for any amount of time." said Ana. "She wouldn't be able to hurt anyone. She will not be pleased, but we could do it."

"Goodie for us." Morrison mumbled. "Tell me, team, because you're all so suddenly horrified of violence. Who wants to put up with Moira for two years?"

Everyone's gaze lowered.

"Any volunteers?" Morrison followed.

"...We could hire someone." Winston offered.

"I won't pay for it."

"Then I will." said Hanzo.

"And how can you afford to do that?"

"It is not your concern."

"This is not a bad idea. What kind of person would we be looking for?" Angela asked Hanzo.

"Someone who is moderately patient." Hanzo answered. "Preferably someone with prior knowledge of symbolic logic."

"Why does logic matter?" asked Morrison.

"We want to convert all of her ideologies into their technical form, as well as our own, so that we can examine the conflicting premises one by one."

"We should ask D.Va. or Mei if they know anyone." Ana suggested. "Or Lucio. They have ties."

"Or Lena." Angela added.

"Uh, maybe not Lena." Winston replied.

Quietly, Genji cleared his throat. He then cleared it a few more times, progressively louder each time, until everyone at the table turned in his direction.

"I think I may know someone." said Genji.

Along with everyone else, Hanzo eyed his brother with interest.

"Who is it?" Winston asked.

Genji shrugged.

"Tekhartha Zenyatta." he replied.

"...That could work." said Ana.

"That beatnik?" Hanzo mumbled.

"Would he even be available?" Angela asked.

Without a word, Genji pulled up his phone from his pocket. He held it up to his ear after pressing a few buttons. The room was dead silent as Genji sat, and the faint sound of ringing filled the air.

Finally, there was a click.

"Hello?" Genji asked. "Are you busy?"

The sound of a muffled voice could be heard on the other end of the line. Hanzo couldn't make out any words, but the voice seemed to speak for a very long time.

"I'm glad to hear it, master. I'm doing just as well." said Genji.

The voice replied once again, longer this time.

"Yes, I've been using the cream." Genji replied once it had finished. "The rust is all gone. You were right."

Morrison quietly scoffed. Hanzo watched as Winston made eye contact with Genji and tapped his wrist.

"Yes, there is." Genji continued. "Would you be open to the idea of moving to Spain and working with Overwatch for the next one or two years as an interrogator?"

A very long pause went by before the muffled voice replied. And when it did, it sounded very apologetic.

"I understand." said Genji. "Thank you for your time."

Hanzo didn't hold his breath as Genji put his phone away and looked back up.

"What'd he say?" Jesse asked.

"He said he'd love to." Genji replied.

"...He did?"

"Yes. He says he and his students have been looking for an excuse to leave Nepal. He only needs transport."

"Do his students need housing?" asked Winston.

"No, just a forest with wood. They can make their own houses from trees and leaves."

Zenyatta was not Hanzo's first choice. However, he refrained from complaining, as he'd already gotten much farther than he'd expected to.

"When can he be here by?" Winston questioned.

"Next week." Genji answered. "I informed him that we can pick him up on the eighteenth."

"And when did you discuss that?" asked Hanzo.

"It was between the lines."

The meeting was let out shortly after. Hanzo's eyes drooped with exhaustion.

Morrison, Winston, and Ana filtered out, yawning hard. But Jesse, Genji, and Angela stayed, with Jesse heading over to the tea maker and Angela and Genji striking up a conversation in the corner in hushed voices.

Hanzo followed Jesse to the tea maker. He waited silently behind Jesse while he waited his for his turn. Hanzo might have said something to him, provided that the room was empty. He nodded when Jesse turned around with a paper cup filled with tea. To his surprise, Jesse didn't leave.

"Hey, uh, Hanzo?" Jesse asked as Hanzo placed a cup under the hot water spout.

Hanzo was grateful the counter was low enough to work in the chair.

"Hmm?" Hanzo replied, glancing over his shoulder.

"I wanna thank you. For what you did."

"Oh. It is nothing."

"That ain't true. Just let me thank you."

Hanzo said nothing. He stared down at his cup as he pulled on the string of the tea bag. In the corner of his eye, he saw Angela exit the room.

"You alright?" asked Jesse.

"Uh, yes." Hanzo replied. "I am well."

"Good. We still on for Wednesday?"

"I see no reason not."

"Catch you then. I'm gonna go clean the sink."

Jesse left for the other side of the room, tipping his hat as he did. True to his word, he settled in at the sink and began to scrub it clean. Hanzo was hit with the sudden urge to fan himself.

He almost flinched when he noticed his brother was staring at him. And he almost flinched again as Genji started to advance on him.

"Hello, brother." Genji greeted as he placed a hand on Hanzo's shoulder. "It's a lovely night, is it not?"

Genji's words were in Japanese. There wasn't anything particularly out of the ordinary about it, as the two of them tended to speak in their first language when they were alone. But still, Hanzo felt there was something unsettling about the look in Genji's visorless eyes.

"It's fine." Hanzo replied. "What do you want?"

"Nothing at all. It is just, I will be requesting to be on the ship that retrieves my master. I wish to help him move."

"Hmm."

"And I would like you to go with me."

Hanzo drew his mouth into a tight line.

"I will have to decline." he stated.

"Why's that?" asked Genji.

"I don't want to go."

"You have no desire to meet Zenyatta before you hire him?"

"Not in particular."

Genji fell silent, at least until Hanzo finished his tea.

"I must know." Genji started. "Does the cowboy know you're enamored with him, or have you failed to tell him?"

Too quickly, Hanzo's spine stiffened as he turned to face his brother head on with wide eyes.

"So he doesn't know." Genji followed.

"There is nothing for him to know."

Although he knew Jesse couldn't understand him, Hanzo's words were still a whisper, be it a very harsh one.

"In that case, you have nothing to worry about." said Genji.

"What does that mean?" Hanzo hissed.

He was ignored.

"Hey, McCree?" Genji asked in English, his head turned towards the sink. "Could you come over here for a moment?"

Hanzo's blood turned to ice as Jesse shut off the water and made his way over with a smile. And his horror only worsened as Genji grabbed the back of the wheelchair to keep him from rolling away.

"Course." Jesse replied. "What can I do ya'll for?"

"I've decided I want to volunteer to help my old master move his belongings." Genji explained. "I will be leaving for Nepal in a few days."

"Well, I hope you have a grand old time."

"And Hanzo has something he'd like to tell you."

Jesse raised an eyebrow at Hanzo in expectation.

"Hontōni shinaidarou?" Hanzo asked Genji.

"Iya, hontō ni suru." Genji answered.

Hanzo prayed that the sound of his heart thumping wasn't audible.

"I will be accompanying my brother." Hanzo said with defeat. "To Nepal."

"Alrighty then." Jesse replied.

Jesse looked a bit confused but shrugged it off. Even though Hanzo couldn't see his face, he knew Genji was smiling as they said goodbye to Jesse.

"Thank you for your compliance, brother." Genji said after he'd wheeled Hanzo out the door. "Can I get a hug goodnight?"

Hanzo punched Genji in the stomach.


	8. dank

_April 15th, 2077_

Morrison sat behind his desk. Moira sat in front of it, while Angela, Hanzo, and Zenyatta stood against the wall.

"We are getting a transmission from Talon soon." Morrison told Moira. "They may want to do a trade."

"I understand." Moira replied.

"If Talon offered to trade you for McCree, would you go willingly?" asked Angela.

"Yes."

"Would you want to go?"

It took Moira a long moment to answer. Out of the corner of his eye, Hanzo caught her glancing in his direction.

"I don't know." she finally replied.

"Do you have any information that you could share with us?" Zenyatta pressed.

"No. I was told very little information when I worked for Talon. I made weaponry in exchange for research funding. I had no concern for politics, and Gabriel Reyes had no desire to make it my concern."

"If you had information, would you lie to us and say you didn't?"

"...I don't know."

Morrison grit his teeth as Angela rubbed her temples.

"I don't know what to do." Angela mumbled.

"I'll tell you what we're gonna do." Morrison replied as he turned to Moira. "I'll believe what you're saying for now. But if you make any indication that you're lying, that's it for you. You hear me?"

Not for the first time in his life, Hanzo could not believe how stupid Commander Morrison was.

"I believe threatening her in such a way might decrease her likelihood of giving information." Zenyatta told Morrison calmly.

"You're not in charge here." Morrison replied.

The meeting was let out shortly after. Desperate, Hanzo caught up to Moira in the hallway.

"Hello." he greeted.

"Hello." she replied.

"May I speak to you in private?"

Moira nodded. Hanzo took a step closer to her after checking the hallway for anyone else.

"Do you truly have no information?" Hanzo asked.

"I have no information." Moira replied.

As Moira stared blankly, Hanzo thought to himself.

"I understand." he said slowly. "But please let me say that if you do have information, I would not blame you, nor would I inform anyone I heard it from you if you choose to tell me."

"Thank you, but you are going to be greatly disappointed. I was being truthful when I said I wasn't given much information on Talon affairs."

Hanzo supposed Moira's excuse made sense, given that an organization like Talon probably wouldn't give anyone but the higher-ups important information out of fear of it getting revealed during an interrogation. After all, Overwatch did the same thing.

"Thank you for your time." Hanzo said as he left.

* * *

* * *

_May 16th, 2076_

Being unable to walk for two days wasn't horrible, but Hanzo wasn't sure what to do with the extra free time that came from not being able to train in the mornings. And to add insult to injury, McCree was away for the day in Australia.

Hanzo missed him.

After trying to watch movies alone in his room for a few hours, Hanzo finally broke when he found himself cradling a warm pillow. Desperately lonely, he decided to partake in the most pathetic act he could ever imagine: going to the breakroom for no reason other than to mingle.

He opened the breakroom door to see that Ana, Angela, and Morrison were the only occupants in the room. They were all sitting at the table. Ana and Angela were both eating silently, while Morrison was reading from an actual, physical copy of the newspaper.

Hanzo was most interested in speaking to Ana, although he was unsure what to say to her. And the silence of the room only added to his anxiety. Defeated, Hanzo rolled up to the tea maker to pretend he had only come in to get a drink.

He'd just filled a cup with hot water when Morrison started to speak.

 _"Ugh_." said Morrison. "Can you believe how much philosophy departments are getting funded in universities these days?"

"Barely anything?" Angela replied.

"Barely anything's still too much."

Irritation began to grind against Hanzo's brain like sandpaper.

"When I was in college, we learned about stuff that mattered." Morrison stated.

"Such as?" Angela asked.

"History. Stuff about rocks. How to build a bike."

Hanzo liked to think himself a calm and collected person. However, this did not stop his right eyelid from twitching so hard that his vision started to shake.

"Do you have no personal philosophies?" Angela pushed.

"I got one." Morrison replied. "It's called Kill Gabriel Reyes."

"I'm getting the feeling you are only interested in that which you can see?" asked Hanzo in a dead voice.

"Yeah, you guessed right. Back in my day, there was none of that freewill or ethics crap. We just lived our lives and--and worked on bikes."

Hanzo crumpled up a tea napkin and tossed it at Morrison's face. Morrison flinched when it struck his forehead.

"What the hell was that for?" asked Morrison.

"You have voiced a lack of appreciation for philosophy." Hanzo replied as he balled up another napkin. "So to appease you, I've decided to act without it."

Hanzo tossed the tissue at Morrison's face. Morrison's eyes narrowed into slits.

Ana took a bite of her cookie.

"Usually, I would avoid provoking you as I'd consider it to be a pointless act that could only lead to unpleasantries." Hanzo said as he pegged Morrison with a third napkin.

"You're getting a week of laundry duty for every tissue that comes near me, you copy?" Morrison replied.

Hanzo nodded but tossed another napkin at Morrison's head. Morrison dodged it.

"I do. But I've no longer any reason to consider forward thinking." Hanzo explained as he balled up another.

"And I got no problem giving you laundry duty."

Morrison wasn't budging from his stance. Which meant Hanzo had to bring things up a notch. So with a grunt, he got to his feet.

"Hanzo!" Angela yelped. "Sit down!"

Hanzo ignored her in favor of walking to the center of the room. His legs were more than a little shaky, but he managed.

"Aren't you in pain?" Angela followed.

"Yes, tremendously so." Hanzo replied. "Usually, I would listen to my body's signals and common sense when I had an injury, but no longer am I constrained by these foolish algorithms."

Ana took a bite of her cookie.

"You're a dumbass." said Morrison.

Hanzo didn't reply, opting instead to begin shedding his clothing.

"What are you doing now?" Angela asked as Hanzo lost his pants. "You're going to hurt yourself."

"Commander Morrison wishes for me to live without intellect, discipline, or motive. I am complying." Hanzo replied as he pulled off his shirt.

Ana took a bite of her cookie.

"Don't even get me started on intellectualism..." Morrison grumbled.

The corner of Hanzo's mouth started to twitch along with his eye. Now in only his underwear, he eyed the white carpet before him and began to plot. The sound of the door being opened was heard as Lucio entered the breakroom.

"I am going to urinate on the carpet." Hanzo announced.

The sound of the door being opened was heard as Lucio left the breakroom.

"Morrison, stop this!" Angela begged.

"See if you can write your name." Ana said to Hanzo.

"You get naked and that's an HR violation." Morrison said as he stood up from the table.

"Usually, I would be opposed to public urination for sanitary reasons, as well as meeting the minimum of what is socially acceptable." Hanzo said as he placed his hands on his waistband. "But Commander Morrison--"

Hanzo was tackled to the ground before he could pull down his underwear. It hurt, but he was secretly pleased as he wasn't sure he'd had enough in his bladder to actually release.

"Why are you doing this?" asked Morrison as he captured Hanzo in a head lock.

"Why do you believe we should live like ignorant, incompetent animals?" Hanzo replied as he struggled.

"Why do _you_ care about all that 'oh damn we actually can't be certain of anything' shit?"

"I live my life by that concept, you degenerate scum."

"A life wasted."

"It is hardly my responsibility that you're too foolish to understand--"

Hanzo was cut off for a moment as Morrison tried to grip his throat. Quickly, Hanzo tore his hands off.

"--how the _fundamentals of knowledge_ could be practically applied to your life when you're presented with them." Hanzo finished.

"I bet you think that just cause--there's information out there that we have to learn it. How about you learn--what my fist feels like in your face?"

"You are what's wrong with society. Society belittles--intellectualism and has suffered greatly as a result."

"Oh, blow it out your ass. You ever hear somebody--"

Morrison paused for a moment to struggle out of Hanzo's choke hold.

"--talk about intellectualism? They jerk themselves off while they do it." Morrison finished.

"Ah, yes, you should allow your--opinion on a concept's presentation to be what forms your--opinion on the concept itself. You are a very wise man."

"Listen, son. There's two books you need to read; the Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. All the rest is hot garbage."

 _"Randian kasu-bukuro._ "

Ana took a bite of her cookie.

By the time Morrison got off of him, Hanzo had a torn shirt, a knee in need of attention, and five million years of laundry duty. After rushing him down to her clinic, Angela fixed his knee once again and begrudgingly informed him that he would be needing to spend an additional day in the wheelchair.

Hanzo had no regrets.

After unintentionally hearing a conversation between Angela and Reinhardt at the clinic, Hanzo learned that Moira's state was continuing to get better and that she would most likely be conscious by the nineteenth.

The night passed by, nearing Hanzo closer to the date he was set to go to Nepal. In an attempt to avoid it, Hanzo signed up for every mission he could as soon as he was able to walk again.

'Where are you, Hanzo?' Genji sent Hanzo over the comm.

Hanzo took a quick look around the restaurant he was waiting for a table in. An unexpectedly quick mission with Lena and Jesse and a dropship in need of mild maintenance had left them with some free time to get some food.

"California." Hanzo replied into his comm.

"Stop reminding me." Jesse said to Hanzo.

Jesse had at first been happy to be sent to the states, but had quickly retracted his excitement when he found out they were going to California, and not "the good part with all the Mexicans". He'd made them take a bus to a more backwater part of town so he could find a place that sold real meat.

Lena had refused to come.

'Perfect, I will be there in an hour to pick you up. Morrison lent me a ship.'

Hanzo groaned.

"What is it?" asked Jesse.

"My brother is coming to retrieve me in an hour. So that we can go to Nepal."

"Let's hope we get seated fast then."

They did end up getting seated rather quickly. A waitress took them to a small table near the kitchen.

'You two are in California, right?' Morrison sent.

"Yes." Hanzo replied. "Why?"

'Make sure McCree keeps his damn mouth shut in front of the hippies. I don't want another fist fight with civilians about gun rights.'

"We aren't in the city. We traveled to a backwater area."

'Hick town, huh? That's fine, he'll fit right in.'

"You got into a fist fight with a civilian?" Hanzo asked Jesse.

Jesse scoffed.

"That what Morrison said?" he replied. "I barely tapped that guy. Ain't my fault that's all it takes to break the vegan bones of the upper-middle class."

Hanzo felt like he was missing some cultural context.

"This is nice." Jesse followed as he picked up the menu. "Don't usually get to eat out."

Although he agreed, Hanzo found himself having a hard time getting Lena's storm off out of his mind.

Hanzo hadn't missed that Jesse liked spending time with him. However, he also hadn't missed that some people weren't happy with it.

"Oxton does not like me." Hanzo stated.

Jesse's eyes didn't leave the menu he was looking at, but Hanzo could tell his focus did.

"Lena lives in a fairytale world." Jesse replied.

"What do you mean?"

"Lena lives in a fairytale world with good men and bad men and nothing in between. And where all you gotta do to fix everything is get rid of the bad men."

"I suppose I can understand why she would not care for me."

Jesse hummed and went back to the menu. Hanzo glanced at his own, but felt unable to give it all his focus.

"Your relationship with her has suffered because of me." Hanzo followed.

"...Yeah, it has." Jesse replied as he closed his menu.

"Does this upset you?"

"A little, yeah. I like Lena."

"Hmm."

"But it ain't a big deal. I like spending time with you, and Lena and me weren't ever that close."

The waitress came with their waters. Hanzo waited for her to get out of earshot before continuing their conversation.

"Why do you like her?" asked Hanzo.

"Well, cause even though she's living in--a fantasy, Lena has dedicated her life to getting rid of the bad men. She sacrifices all her time and safety so that she can do what she thinks is right."

Hanzo didn't know how to reply.

"Lena's not evil. She's just kinda dumb." Jesse followed. "She's doing her damndest, I can tell you that."

"I see no difference between evil and ignorance."

"....Think you might be a little happier if you did."

Hanzo put his own menu down, and the waitress came back over to take their orders.

"What can I get you two?" she asked.

"Gimme the New York strip steak." Jesse replied.

"How would you like that cooked?"

"What's the legal limits here?"

"Medium rare."

Jesse brought his hand up to his front pocket and then down to the table. Hanzo could just barely tell he had six five dollar bills under his fingers.

"Sure you can't make it a little purple in the middle?" Jesse asked as he slid the money under his napkin. "Ain't never hurt nobody."

After a moment of confusion, a look of amusement crossed the waitress' face.

"I'll see what I can do." she replied. "Would you like any sauce?"

"Just pour a bunch of blue cheese on it."

The waitress nodded and turned to Hanzo.

Hanzo ended up ordering a dish of prawns with the shells and heads still on, just to make Jesse uncomfortable. The waitress left with their napkins. She came back a moment later to replace them before disappearing into the kitchen.

"Let's talk about something a little lighter." said Jesse.

"Such as?"

Jesse looked over his shoulder and to the left. Hanzo followed his gaze to see he was staring at a service dog resting under its owner's chair.

"You a cat person or a dog person?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo smiled to himself as he thought of a good answer to Jesse's question.

"Dogs have a potential for great beauty, but so much of it has been soiled by frivolous inbreeding." answered Hanzo. "I will have to go with cats."

"I like cats."

"Yes. My favorite feature of their behavior is how conditional they are with affection. I too believe affection should be earned."

"That's--that's interesting."

Hanzo sighed with nostalgia as a memory popped into his head.

"In college, I had a tabby who withheld affection from me no matter how desperately I tried to earn it." Hanzo mused. "Her name was Kanoko and I loved her very much."

"...Ain't Kanoko your mama's name?"

The waitress came back with their dishes. Hanzo was surprised by how quickly the kitchen had managed to cook, although he supposed neither of their orders required much preparation.

"Thank you kindly." Jesse said with a smile.

As soon as the waitress had left, Jesse quickly grabbed the bottle of Tabasco sauce from the table and shoved it in his pocket.

Jesse was mostly silent while they ate, only commenting once on Hanzo's choice to eat shrimp in their shells. Hanzo watched Jesse's face with interest, as he'd never seen it so twisted with pleasure before.

"Goddamn..." Jesse mumbled as he cut off another piece of his purple meat.

"You look as though you're orgasming." Hanzo noted.

"Yeah, well, deal with it."

"I did not say I minded."

"...Alright."

When the check came, Hanzo reached into his wallet for his company card with excitement. He'd heard that tipping waitstaff was custom in the United States, which was a rumor that was confirmed by the tipping line on the receipt.

"Woah, hold up." Jesse said as he grabbed the receipt from Hanzo.

Hanzo watched as Jesse left a zero dollar tip on the receipt but slipped a twenty into the card slot.

"What are you doing?" asked Hanzo.

"Always tip service workers in cash. That way they don't get taxed."

Jesse was writing something on the end of the receipt as he spoke. When Hanzo leaned over to see what it was, Jesse pulled it away before Hanzo could read all of it.

"What are you writing on the receipt?" Hanzo pressed.

"...Nothing." Jesse replied as he began to scribble over his words.

"Taxation is what?"

"I ain't doing nothing."

"I see a 'th'. Taxation is 'th'. What word were you going to use to describe taxation?"

By the time Hanzo got a chance to look at the receipt, Jesse's comment had been covered in a perfectly opaque black rectangle of pen ink.

"I don't knock your beliefs, you don't knock mine." said Jesse. "That's the way it goes."

"You mock my beliefs consistently." Hanzo replied. "As do I with yours."

"Good point."

"Please, though, justify yourself."

Jesse's face turned to one of confusion.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Your opinion on mandatory taxation. Please share."

Jesse chuckled in mild amusement for a moment before speaking.

"I'll just tell you this." Jesse started. "We had a saying back where I come from about taxes."

"Which was?" asked Hanzo.

Hanzo's eyes followed Jesse's hands as Jesse lifted his pointer fingers and gestured with them while he spoke.

"Uncle Sam will get his pay when it don't go to B.B.K." Jesse cited.

"What is B.B.K?"

"Bombing brown kids."

A sharp, quick laugh was not the appropriate response, but it was the one Hanzo gave.

"I don't think you understand how taxes work." said Hanzo.

"What'd you mean?"

"Federal tax dollars do not go to bombing children. The government pays directly to bomb children, and then uses tax dollars to cancel out the debt it created for itself."

Jesse blinked.

"Does this make you want to pay taxes?" Hanzo asked.

"Why would that make me wanna pay taxes?"

The waitress silently took the check as Hanzo sighed.

"No matter how corrupted your system of taxation is," he explained, "it's still the system that funds the police department and what little schooling you have."

"We knew." Jesse replied. "That's why we made direct donations to the public school system with the money we saved on massive tax fraud."

"What a system..."

Hanzo had long since learned that Jesse believed all monetary exchanges should be done with mutual consent unless absolutely necessary. Upon disagreeing, Hanzo’d been called a 'cutest little commie I ever did saw'.

They had both been very drunk.

'I'm here.' Genji sent.

Hanzo sighed.

"Your brother here?" Jesse asked.

"Yes."

"...It'll be fine. You get to meet Zenyatta."

'Where are you?'

"Would you like to go with me?" asked Hanzo.

"Can't. Got dinner with Ana."

"Mmh."

Hanzo was forced to bid Jesse goodbye and leave the restaurant. He found his brother on the corner outside.

Luckily, Genji didn't talk much on the way to Nepal, which gave Hanzo time to do some work. Although not too much time, as the trip only took about an hour. After they'd touched down, Hanzo walked with Genji to the front door of Zenyatta's house.

Zenyatta's house was a neat wooden shack in the middle of the woods. It looked sturdy enough to hold its own, but it had been clearly built by hand. Along the natural trail walkway leading up to it sat a garden of dead flowers and a sign that read 'groovy dudes live here'.

Everything smelled strongly of hemp.

"I don't like him." Hanzo announced.

"I don't care." Genji replied. "Go get him."

"Why must I get him?"

"I want you to meet him."

Hanzo crossed his arms over his chest.

"McCree?" Genji asked as he touched his earlobe. "McCree, do you read?"

"Fine! Fine."

Hanzo knocked at the door to Zenyatta's shack.

 _"Come in._ " a voice called from inside.

Genji urged Hanzo forward. Hanzo sighed, opened the door, and stepped in.

The door closed behind him.

The inside of Zenyatta's house was much different than the outside. The place was clean and the adornment style was traditionally Buddhist, which Hanzo found passable. Not only that, but lack of quotes on the wall and the lack of specificity towards any one faction of Buddhist philosophy managed to give the place a pleasantly agnostic feel.

Or perhaps Zenyatta was just undisciplined and intentionally vague. After all, the inside did still smell like ganja.

As for Zenyatta himself, he was kneeling on the floor next to a small, neat pile of miscellaneous pieces of metal and plastic. In his hands, he held a long pipe.

"Hello." Zenyatta greeted.

It took Hanzo a moment too long to reply. Zenyatta looked over at the pile.

"I greet you." Hanzo replied with a small bow.

"I have heard much about you, Shimada Hanzo."

Zenyatta's tone of voice was strange, nearly indescribable. He almost sounded like he was on the edge of a laugh.

"There is not much to hear." said Hanzo.

"Somehow, I doubt that. Come have a seat."

Hanzo did not want to have a seat.

"Sit." Zenyatta followed.

The image of his nagging brother filling him with guilt, Hanzo sat.

"Is there something you wish to discuss with me?" Hanzo asked.

"Not in particular." Zenyatta replied as he spotted and pulled out a few thin, hard sheets of plastic from the pile.

Hanzo raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have any questions regarding our departure to Gibraltar?" Hanzo pushed.

"I cannot say that I do."

Burning with confusion, Hanzo let the conversation lull. The only sound to be heard was the clicking of plastic and metal as Zenyatta put the pipe down and began to roll one of the sheets of plastic into a tube.

"What are you doing?" asked Hanzo.

Instead of answering, Zenyatta pushed the pipe towards Hanzo.

"Do you know what this is?" Zenyatta asked back.

Confused, Hanzo examined the pipe.

"It is a glass bubbler." he replied. "A hybrid of a pipe and a bong. It's used for smoking tobacco or marijuana."

"Yes."

Finished rolling the plastic tube, Zenyatta took the pipe back and stuck the plastic into the lip of the pipe.

"Why did you do that?" Hanzo asked. "The pipe is not broken."

"I am aware."

Zenyatta reached into the pile again and pulled out a roll of tape. After breaking off a piece, he taped the plastic tube down, securing it to both the pipe and itself.

"Would you smoke from this pipe?" Zenyatta followed. "Hypothetically, I mean."

"I would prefer not to." Hanzo answered. "Because you've elongated the airway, it would be less efficient to smoke from."

"It really is quite redundant, is it not?"

The wave of anxiety Hanzo felt was immediate as Zenyatta reached for another plastic sheet.

"I will make it even more redundant." said Zenyatta.

Zenyatta proceeded to roll up the next sheet of plastic and stick it into the end of the first one. Hanzo began to feel a growing pain in his stomach.

"Then what are you trying to accomplish?" Hanzo questioned.

"Absolutely nothing."

Hanzo grit his teeth. As he continued to watch Zenyatta's hands, he began to feel as if someone was rubbing sandpaper over his skin.

"You are trying to accomplish… nothing?" Hanzo asked, innocently enough.

"Precisely." Zenyatta replied. "I am working completely without reason. Each moment I spend is deliberately redundant."

Zenyatta was clearly a madman. Hanzo had made a horrible, horrible mistake.

"Why are you doing this?" Hanzo begged.

"I told you. I am acting without purpose."

Hanzo put his hand on his chest in an attempt to stop himself from hyperventilating. Desperately, he continued to stare at Zenyatta's moving fingers to search for any semblance of purpose.

The purpose was for torturing him. That had to be it. Hanzo immediately began to feel better. Unfortunately, he quickly realized that his new lack of distress meant that Zenyatta's continued actions were no longer serving any purpose and Hanzo began to feel the torment creeping back up on him. But luckily, that meant the invention once again had a purpose. Hanzo immediately began to feel better. Unfortunately, he quickly realized that his new lack of distress meant that Zenyatta's continued actions were no longer serving any purpose and Hanzo began to feel the torment creeping back up on him. But luckily, that meant the invention once again had a purpose. Hanzo immediately began to feel better. Unfortunately, he quickly realized that his new lack of distress meant that Zenyatta's continued actions were no longer serving any purpose and Hanzo began to feel the torment creeping back up on him. But luckily, that meant the invention--

"I am not even particularly enjoying the experience." said Zenyatta. "I derive no pleasure."

"Please tell me I'm to be learning something." Hanzo begged with a ragged, broken voice. "This is just a ploy to teach me humility. Or patience. Or--anything."

"No. No purpose. Your pain is pointless."

"You--you--anatomical madman."

"There is no need to be derogatory."

Zenyatta gave no indication that he'd taken any offense, only chuckled.

"Are you ready to go to the ship?" Zenyatta asked.

Hanzo choked back a sob.

"Very good." Zenyatta followed. "We will make our departure."

Silently, Hanzo led Zenyatta back to the ship. He stayed silent during Genji and Zenyatta's reunion. The two of them talked the whole way back to Gibraltar while Hanzo hid in the bathroom out of fear.

He couldn't believe he'd let Overwatch hire a hippie.


	9. communication 101

_April 15th, 2077_

With an hour and a half until the transmission was set to take place, Hanzo's heart had broken. Any shock or anger he felt was overridden by a deep pain in his chest and ribs. In a desperate fit of longing, Hanzo found himself in Jesse's quarters.

Hanzo had known the code to Jesse's room for months. He'd never used it, but he'd managed to learn it from watching Jesse type it in.

Upon entering, Hanzo went straight for the red serape hung over Jesse's couch. After wrapping himself with it, Hanzo began to snoop through Jesse's shelves. He needed something, anything; a picture he could look at, a Jesse-themed trinket he could hold, or a cigar box he could smell. Finally, he found an old box of discs that looked promising.

After a few minutes of sifting through disks and reading the titles that had been drawn on with felt pen, Hanzo found one that he simply needed to see.

Hanzo didn't know the password to Jesse's computer, so he brought the box of disks back to his own quarters. He was silent as he popped in the disc that had interested him into his own computer.

A video hummed to life on his computer screen. It was a bit fuzzy, but Hanzo could easily make out Jesse sitting with a guitar in his lap. With his thin face and almost skinny build, he looked like he couldn't have been more than seventeen. His clothing was dirty and filled with patches, and his stetson looked like it had seen better days. On his right stood a girl with long, white hair, and on his left was a boy with no discernible features.

They were all smoking cigarettes.

"You ready, McCree?" the boy asked.

"I've been ready." Jesse replied as he ran his fingers over the guitar.

Hanzo wasn't sure, but Jesse's accent seemed a bit thicker. After an eight-bar intro, Jesse began to sing.

 _"My transistor radio comes from far away,_ " he sang. _"And when it's night over here, over there it's a breaking day._ "

Jesse's accent was definitely thicker.

 _"I remember all the good times I had a' walking in the sand, with the beautiful girl that I met, made in Japan._ "

Hanzo shut his eyes as he listened to the words. The song was about a cowboy who had fallen in love with a woman from Japan, but was unable to be with her as an arranged marriage kept them apart.

It was so stupid that Hanzo almost couldn't bear to listen to it. He only opened his eyes after Jesse had finished.

"Guess McCree's got yellow fever." the other boy said.

"Nah, McCree ain't got yellow fever." the girl replied. "He's got grey fever."

"Hell's grey fever?"

"I wanna screw an alien!" Jesse answered with wide eyes.

After another moment of set up, Jesse put his guitar back on his lap. When the girl gave him an Apache headdress, he put it on.

"Alright." Jesse continued. "This next song's called _Running Bear, the Indian Brave._ "

While Jesse played the song, Hanzo noticed a sticky note on the disc from Jesse to himself. Curious, Hanzo examined it to see that it read _'Destroy tape in fire, did **not** age well._'

Hanzo was unsure what the note was supposed to imply.

* * *

* * *

_May 19th, 2076_

Hanzo's limited knowledge of who Moira was as a person came only from what he'd seen in the department store basement and what he'd heard from the rest of the team. He knew she was a geneticist, and he knew she believed in eugenics, but he didn't know what extent she advocated them to. But his lack of knowledge was about to change, as Zenyatta had invited anyone who was interested to attend his first meeting with Moira.

At first, Hanzo had wanted nothing to do with Zenyatta despite having been the one to hire him in the first place. But after hearing that Jesse was also attending, Hanzo'd decided he had nothing better to do.

"I don't get it." Lena asked from the chair across from Hanzo. "Why are we doing this?"

"We're trying to find common ground with Moira through Zenyatta." Genji answered.

"Common ground? Good luck with that."

Hanzo was unsure why Lena had come.

"Hey now, that ain't fair." said Jesse. "I reckon there's some things that come naturally to anybody who ain't a complete sociopath."

Jesse darted his eyes in Hanzo's direction.

"Uh, sorry Hanzo." he followed.

"...What?" Hanzo replied.

"Like what?" Lena asked Jesse.

"Huh?"

"What comes naturally?"

Jesse's mouth twisted to the side as he thought.

"How bout this." Jesse started. "Nearly everybody cross the whole planet, no matter what cultures they grew up in, believes murder is wrong."

"We kill people, McCree." Morrison replied. "Bad example."

"Alright, fine. Here's another. Everybody can agree that, uh...eternal torture is wrong."

"What about Catholics?" asked Genji.

Jesse rubbed his temples.

"Fucking Catholics..." he muttered.

The table fell silent as Zenyatta entered the room. While Lena and Jesse stared in awe at him, Genji gave a small bow.

Morrison looked bored.

Over his shoulder, Zenyatta carried a large pad of paper and a stand. He silently set it up near the head of the table and took a stand next to it when he was done.

"Where's Moira?" Lena asked.

"She's gonna be here in about five minutes." Morrison answered. "I wanted to give the bot time to pass around the mushrooms and chakras before she got here."

There was a joyful, metallic chuckling noise as Zenyatta started to laugh.

"That is very funny." Zenyatta replied.

Morrison sunk in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest with a scoff of deep defeat.

"It is very nice to meet all of you who have decided to come." Zenyatta followed. "But might I make a request?"

"You're in charge, dumbass." Morrison answered.

"Thank you. I just ask if any of you become overwhelmed with emotion, you step out and watch the remainder of the interrogation through our two-way mirror. Can everyone agree to this?"

"Why?" asked Lena.

"She's probably gonna say stuff that pisses us off." Jesse explained. "We don't wanna piss her off back."

"So you want to let her say whatever she wants without consequence?" Lena snapped. "She deserves to be pissed off."

"We want to be productive." Hanzo replied in a tone to match. "If you would prefer to focus on trite, self-righteous causes, you should not be here."

"Oi! You should be pissed off too!"

"See?" Jesse said as he kicked Hanzo in the foot. "Hanzo just made you double down. Because he made it look so bad to be wrong, you didn't wanna admit to being wrong. And that's exactly what we're trying to avoid."

For a solid twenty seconds, Lena squinted so hard in thought she nearly went cross eyed. Finally, her face relaxed.

"Oh, I get it." she replied.

"That is quite an intricate concept. Regarding doubling down." Zenyatta said to Jesse. "I am impressed you know it. Did you learn it from a philosopher?"

"Yup. My mama." Jesse answered with a tone of deep pride.

A knock on the door halted the conversation. A moment later, the door opened to Reinhardt and a woman Hanzo recognized as Moira. After Moira was seated, Reinhardt left the meeting room. Hanzo assumed he'd taken a post outside the door.

Having not gotten a good look at her in the basement, Hanzo examined Moira carefully. He found she was a somewhat unusual looking person, with a long, thin face and body. Her features and demeanor lacked both femininity and masculinity, at least in any sense that Hanzo was familiar with them. Most interestingly, he found she was a heterochromiac. One eye was blue while the other was a reddish brown.

Hanzo was surprised to see how well she seemed to have accepted her capture.

As for her attire, she was wearing a baggy polo and jeans that were obviously not hers. Hanzo assumed she had been stripped of all her gear. He'd also heard that she'd been fitted with an ankle brace that left her unable to leave Watchpoint.

"This is certainly not what I was expecting." Moira stated.

"Hello, Moira." Zenyatta greeted. "My name is Tekhartha Zenyatta."

"I know who you are. What are you doing here?"

"I have been chosen as your interrogator."

Moira's eyes closed half shut in confusion.

"We would like to understand you." Zenyatta explained.

"You want to understand me?" Moira asked.

"We want to understand your motivations. We will not harm you."

For a short moment, Hanzo caught Moira's eyes lock with Morrison's. Morrison's scowl only deepened.

"What do you want?" asked Zenyatta.

"In what sense?" Moira replied.

"For this world."

"The success of humankind."

Lena scoffed. After being shot a few nervous glances, she sighed and took a stand.

"I dunno if I can do this." she said as she left.

The door shut behind her. Hanzo began to feel about twenty percent better.

"What is your opinion of Gabriel Reyes?" Zenyatta asked.

"Gabriel's influence runs deeper into the Earth every day." Moira answered. "I do not care for him."

Hanzo was unsure what to make of Moira's response.

"Why do you work for him?" asked Morrison.

"Because I care even less for you."

Morrison's mouth set itself even tighter.

"Do you support what Talon is doing?" Zenyatta continued.

"No." Moira answered.

"Why do you build them weapons?"

"Talon is the only organization that allows me to do research. In return, they ask for weaponry. I comply."

"How many people would you allow to die for your experiments?"

"Thousands. Millions. As many as it takes."

Genji cleared his throat.

"I don't think I can do this, either." he said as he stood.

The door opened and closed once again as Genji left.

"And you find that to be justifiable?" asked Zenyatta.

"What about the millions upon millions of people currently dying of genetic failures? What about the immeasurable number of humans not yet born who will follow in their footsteps if we do nothing? I may be killing people to do what I do, but if I don't, I am letting even more die."

Zenyatta failed to reply, as did everyone else.

"We could cure birth defects." Moira continued. "We could assuage mental illness. We could rid ourselves of the blood lust that drives us to kill one another over petty misunderstandings. We could remove ourselves of the inherent logical failings of our minds that persuade us into thinking less than clearly. We could make ourselves a beautiful species with the basic intelligence--"

Moira paused for a moment to glance in Morrison's direction.

"--to build a competent society that values the development of itself rather than the destruction." she finished. "Can anyone truly argue with that?"

"You're an old hag." Morrison spat.

"My apologies, Commander." Zenyatta said as he turned to Morrison. "But I must ask you to--"

"Yeah, I'm going."

"If we're ready to get back to it, I actually, uh, got a thought." Jesse started after Morrison had left.

"McCree has a thought." Moira replied. "Tell us, McCree, what is your thought?"

"Look, I ain't necessarily opposed to making ourselves a little better. But here's the thing. Who's gonna regulate that?"

Moira's mouth tightened into a thin line.

"If I have to listen to another one of your anarchist ramblings..." she trailed off.

"You're talking about changing the very fabric of what we are." Jesse continued. "And I know that you wanna make changes for the better. But I don't like a system that allows any one person to make that kinda choice for an entire species. I reckon it's something the people gotta decide on and regulate for themselves. Otherwise, who knows? Some wacko or fat cat could turn us into cattle."

"Humans already are cattle. That's the problem. If they somehow manage to not destroy the ground below their feet long enough to venture into space, they will wage war on the first alien species they come across."

Hanzo had no intentions of saying it out loud, but Moira was making a lot of sense to him.

"Which I can assure you, will end in either genocide or genocide." Moira followed.

"Maybe they'd be a little less like cattle if we didn't treat them like they were." Jesse replied.

As she rubbed her eyebrows, Moira looked down with a sigh.

"May I ask you something in an attempt to deconstruct your ideologies?" she asked.

"Be my guest." Jesse replied.

"Who do you consider to be more rational? One person, or people?"

"One person."

"So how can you advocate against a system that allows one person to make choices for the rest of humanity in favor of a system that allows a mass of violent, panicking animals to be in charge?"

Jesse opened his mouth for a moment but quickly closed it.

"If you found yourself on an alien planet and discovered that every member of the dominant species on that planet was running directly towards a vat of acid," Moira continued, "would you make an attempt to stop them?"

"Yes." Jesse answered.

"The human race is running itself into an acid vat. Do you disagree with this?"

"...No. I don't."

"It is my belief that the only way to stop humankind from continuing its rapid pace towards this vat is to change their nature. Can you propose a more efficient solution?"

Jesse was silent for a long moment, as was everyone else.

"I can't." he finally said. "But I'd wanna at least try...something--anything else before falling back on measures like that."

"Alright, McCree. If you would like to sit around and wait for 'the people' to accept the wonders of science, be my guest." Moira replied. "They're currently still stuck on causation."

"Might I make a proposal?" asked Zenyatta.

Along with everyone else, Hanzo looked over to Zenyatta in mild surprise.

"What is your proposal?" Moira replied.

"I believe it might benefit us to go around the room and say why we believe humans go to war."

Hanzo was a bit confused by the nature of the question, so he allowed the others to go before him.

"Tribalism." Moira answered. "Their nature."

"Where I come from, war usually gotta do with oil. I'd say greed." Jesse said.

"And you, Hanzo?" asked Zenyatta.

"I partially agree with McCree," Hanzo answered, "although I believe it has less to do with simple greed and more to do with the need to collect power."

Hanzo had always looked down on war hungry dictators. He believed there were much more effective ways to conquer, and war usually ended up being part of the problem.

"Little confused as to how that ain't what you think greed means, but alright." Jesse replied.

"But what about the soldiers?" Zenyatta asked Hanzo.

"What do you mean?" Hanzo pressed.

"A dictator is just one person. Why do millions and millions of common people go to war?"

Hanzo was unsure as to why he specifically was being asked, but he didn't think it worthwhile to think too hard about it.

"Human beings are irrationally biased towards what and who they know." Hanzo answered. "Which makes them very easy to fool."

"And why is self-bias irrational?" asked Zenyatta.

"Because humans simply happen into their knowledge and members of kin circumstantially."

"...Be more trivial."

Hanzo thought to himself for a moment.

"There is a very monumental amount of information that composes reality, far more than any one person could ever learn." he replied. "Human beings build their cultures and world views from the small pieces of information they see. But because of their own ignorance, they live under the assumption that what information they have seen is all there is in existence. So when one group of humans comes into contact with another that inevitably lives by a varying outlook--"

Hanzo paused for a moment to gesture outwards with his hands.

"--they find each other dangerous and inhuman." he finished.

"Well, I think it's also got something to do with people thinking there's only a limited amount of shit to eat." Jesse interrupted. "So they reckon--"

With a metallic cough, Zenyatta cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry." Jesse followed.

"It is alright." Zenyatta replied. "But Hanzo, as you have led me perfectly into my answer to Moira's question."

Moira blinked.

"What question?" she asked.

"You asked us if anyone was able to propose a more efficient solution than your own." Zenyatta answered.

"What's your proposal?"

"I am glad you asked."

Everyone stared as Zenyatta took a step closer to his pad of paper.

"I wish to oversee the creation of a new form of communication between both humans and omnics alike." he announced. "A form of communication that allows individuals to speak with each other on a level that surpasses verbal language."

"And what language would that be?" asked Hanzo.

"Radical empathy. Individuals could send each other not only emotion, but entire perspectives on a situation and the internal logic that built the opinion and emotion behind their experience. Each individual person would no longer have to be constrained to their single perspective."

Jesse raised his eyebrow.

"And how would this communication work?" Moira asked.

"Before I answer that, allow me to first speak briefly on my understanding of the mind." Zenyatta replied.

No one objected. Moira gestured Zenyatta to continue with her hand.

"On one level, the mind is but an interconnected mess of logical arguments." Zenyatta followed. "An example of one such logical argument is--"

Zenyatta began to write on the board.

"If we should do what is best for society, we should act altruistically rather than selfishly." he said as he wrote. "We should do what is best for society. Therefore, we should act altruistically rather than selfishly."

Zenyatta stepped away from the board. Hanzo examined it carefully.

 _Premises:_  
_W = We should do what's best for society  
__A = We should act altruistically rather than selfishly_

 _1\. W- >A_  
_2\. W  
_ _therefore A_

"The mind is filled with these arguments." Zenyatta continued. "Sometimes they fit together, and sometimes, they are compartmentalized. If we represent them like this--"

Zenyatta drew another quick schematic on the board.

"As you all may understand, the bottom row represents the premises that build the argument while the top line represents the conclusion. Although what is interesting about each conclusion we make is it most likely will end up serving as a premise in a new argument."

Zenyatta tapped on the board.

"To me, our minds look like this."

_C = generic conclusion  
P = generic premise_

"This particular argument--"

Zenyatta pointed back to the altruism argument.

"--is very straight forward, but it becomes more complicated the deeper you delve into what is best for society. For example..."

Furiously, Zenyatta began to scribble on the board again.

"...If authoritarianism is good for society, then we should enforce authoritarianism. Authoritarianism is good for society. Therefore, we should enforce authoritarianism." he finished.

 _Premises:_  
_G = Authoritarianism is good for_ _society  
_ _E = We should enforce authoritarianism_

 _1\. G- >E_  
_2\. G  
_ _therefore E_

"I don't agree with that." Jesse said, like a dumbass.

"What do you fail to agree with?" asked Zenyatta.

"That authoritarianism is good for society."

"But do you disagree with the conclusion, as it is derived from the premises?"

"...What?"

"I am asking that if, in a hypothetical sense, you believed authoritarianism was good for society, would you try to enforce it?"

Jesse's eyes squinted further closed as he thought to himself for a moment.

"Yeah, I guess I would." he answered.

For a moment, Hanzo's heart fluttered in his chest.

"As I expected." Zenyatta replied. "I have come to believe the root of all ideological clashes come not from a disagreement on the validity of the arguments offered, but rather from a disagreement of the premises that build the arguments."

"Did it take you long?" Hanzo snapped.

"Therefore, I suspect constructing an interface that would allow us to communicate our entire mind's worth of logical arguments with each other would significantly reduce the fear and anger we hold towards our fellow man."

The room was silent as Zenyatta turned to Moira.

"And I believe this could benefit you." he continued to Moira. "You could share your perspective, your entire mind's collection of interlinking arguments from your point of view with others. They could feel everything you have felt, and see everything you have seen. And in turn, you could see theirs."

"Is the human race truly intelligent enough to even comprehend O'Deorain's perspective?" asked Hanzo. "I'd assume that much of it is built around numbers that most simply could not understand."

"I believe at least...hmm, two percent might be capable. And I consider that to be enough."

"When you say an interface, do you mean something digital?" Moira asked. "Or just a verbal communication of your idea."

"Both." Zenyatta replied.

Zenyatta's idea made perfect sense to Hanzo, although he doubted how well it would perform in practice.

"The man who invented the television also believed it would end all war." said Moira.

"And the television is a beloved invention." Zenyatta replied.

Moira fell silent, as did everyone else.

"It is just something to think about." Zenyatta followed. "Perhaps we should wrap up for today."

"Mhh." Moira replied.

"But I will be seeing you in just a few days."

"We're going to meet again?"

"Yes."

Moira still looked more confused than upset, although Hanzo supposed that wasn't a bad thing.

"Will others still be allowed to attend?" asked Hanzo.

"As long as O'Deorain is alright with it." Zenyatta answered.

"I'm alright with you two joining." Moira said. "But that is as much as I'll allow."

"...Well, uh," Jesse stumbled. "Least it'll be eventful."

They parted ways after Zenyatta packed up his stand. Hanzo ended up with a lot to think about when he finally fell into bed.


	10. High School Musical Five: Public Stonings

_April 15th, 2077_

Still wrapped in Jesse's serape, Hanzo left his quarters. With an hour until he needed to be in the meeting room, he decided there was something else he needed to do.

As he pressed his ear up again Ana's door, he could hear her crying on the other side of it. Though her sobs tapered off once he started knocking.

 _"Who is it?"_ she asked.

"Hanzo. May I come in?"

_"...If you wish."_

Hanzo slowly opened the door to see that Ana was wiping her eye.

"Hello." he greeted.

"Do you need something?" Ana replied.

Ana's face was set in a frown. She looked older than Hanzo had ever seen her before.

"I was wondering if you needed anything." said Hanzo.

A few more tears fell out of Ana's good eye before she replied.

"I don't know what I need." she stated.

"Would you like to come to my quarters?"

"For what?"

"You are experiencing something that I can relate to. I wish to be of service."

Ana locked eyes with Hanzo and stared. After a moment of silence, she slowly started to nod.

"I can't think of anything better to do while I wait for the transmission." said Ana. "Very well."

"Thank you." Hanzo replied as he took off for the door. "I will leave now so that we will not have to walk together."

Hanzo power-walked down the hall to his quarters. Upon arriving to his room, he walked inside and stood behind the door.

Ana knocked less than a minute later.

"Hello." Hanzo greeted as he opened the door.

"Hello." Ana replied.

Ana had never been to Hanzo's quarters before. After a short moment of uncertainty, Hanzo led Ana to his couch. She took a seat immediately.

"Would you like any food?" asked Hanzo.

"No thank you."

"Would you like me to comfort you?"

"...Yes."

With a tiny grunt, Hanzo took a seat to Ana's left. He took the serape off his shoulders and placed it over Ana's. Ana tightened the fabric of the serape around herself as she pressed her face into Hanzo's shoulder and began to cry.

Hanzo rubbed her shoulder as she did.

Seeing Ana so devastated served to remind Hanzo of two things. One, that he wasn't the only one who had cared deeply for Jesse, and two, even the highest ranking officers in Overwatch had no idea what was going to happen.

* * *

* * *

_August 17th, 2076_

Three months had passed since Zenyatta and Moira's coming to Watchpoint, although Hanzo hadn't seen much of either of them outside of the interrogation sessions that he and Jesse were still attending. In Moira's case, it was because she tended not to make herself seen. She spent most of her time in the quarters they'd provided her, probably to avoid being stoned by half the team. And in Zenyatta's case, it was because of Hanzo's deliberate avoidance.

Out of the two of them, Hanzo liked Moira a bit more. Although Zenyatta was surprisingly competent despite his bohemian ideologies, Hanzo still found him somewhat insufferable. He had a habit of responding to everything in cryptic one-liners. Which wouldn't have been so bad provided it didn't cause an uproar of pathetically impressed 'ooh's from the rest of the team.

"Hey, uh, I gotta question for you." Jesse asked as they finished up with the gun range and started weapon maintenance.

"I am listening." Hanzo replied.

"How are you able to pay to support Zenyatta's being here?"

Hanzo had been waiting for Jesse to ask him about his new money. He supposed there was little harm in telling the truth.

"Do you remember the hit single I made about half a year ago?" asked Hanzo.

"How could I forget?" Jesse replied.

"I invested the money I made into a black market meth lab masquerading as a mattress firm chain."

"...You're making meth money?"

Hanzo chuckled.

"No. The money we make from drug sales only goes towards keeping the foundation running." Hanzo explained. "Where I profit is when we report massive losses for the mattress firm chain and receive a tax dollar bail-out to compensate our fake mattress employees."

"So you got rich off of embezzling."

"Not quite. I only used the money I made from embezzling to invest in a European content farm."

Jesse blinked.

"Hell's a content farm?" he asked.

Hanzo pulled out his phone and opened the YouTube app. After typing up the name of the English version of the farm into the search bar and bringing up the channel, he handed Jesse his phone.

"It's a mass production of content." Hanzo said as Jesse scrolled through with a look of disgust. "Set to exploit several algorithms."

"Did a bot write these titles?" asked Jesse.

"I'm not sure." Hanzo replied.

"I ain't never seen clickbait like this before."

"Uhuh."

Jesse's eyes only squinted father as he continued to scroll.

 _"Seven Mystery Riddles that Only People with High IQs can Solve?"_ Jesse read. " _Ten things you do every day that are slowly killing you?"_

"We have over forty million subscribers on the English version alone."

Jesse blinked at the phone in front of his face.

"And you need to do this to keep Zenyatta here?" asked Jesse.

"No." Hanzo replied. "I'm supporting his stay with less than a percent of my earnings."

"So what are you doing with the money?"

"Making more money."

Jesse frowned.

"Hanzo, this is gonna make little kids stupid." he stated.

"Perhaps."

"And this health advice is gonna hurt people. How can you support this? All this is the opposite of utility. This is the most frivolous goddamn thing I've ever seen."

Hanzo's face twisted in a frown to match Jesse's.

"You don't understand the big picture." said Hanzo.

"What's the big picture?" Jesse pushed.

"It is my moral obligation to acquire wealth."

"Why?"

"I can maximize altruism on an exponential scale by acquiring power. Therefore, it is my moral obligation to acquire power at any cost."

For a moment, Jesse's frown softened into a look of thought.

"So what are you doing to, uh, maximize altruism?" asked Jesse.

"I just told you. Acquiring more power."

Jesse blinked.

"What's step two?" he followed.

Hanzo thought to himself for a moment.

"Intercontinental federal bureaucracy." Hanzo answered.

"Run by you?" Jesse replied.

"More likely run by my grandchildren."

"...You want kids?"

"It is very complicated."

Jesse fell silent. Hanzo took a moment to think about the frozen sperm he'd buried in the ground in the Yukon.

"Look," Jesse started slowly, "you know that I agree with you that we should do whatever's best for the most people. Right?"

"Yes." Hanzo replied.

"Then how would you feel if I told you I didn't think what you're doing is right?"

"I would not be surprised."

"Do you reckon it's possible that you're wrong about this being the best way to go about things?"

"Absolutely. Only a fool has no doubt."

"Alright now. So since you ain't sure, how about you give half the money you make off this shitstorm to PBS?"

It was a difficult choice for Hanzo to make as Jesse stared him down. On one hand, cutting corners on investment snowballing was a violation of Hanzo's ethical code. But on the other hand, Jesse's eyes were a very, very nice shade of brown.

"I will comply." Hanzo stated.

"Thank you kindly."

"Hmm."

"Hanzo is doing _what_ to pay for Zenyatta?" Fareeha asked.

Hanzo sighed as Fareeha, Lena, Mei, and Genji all funneled into the range through the door.

"What's Hanzo doing?" asked Lena.

"Scamming people." Fareeha replied.

"Really, brother?" Genji groaned with a shake of his head. "This again?"

Hanzo supposed it was what he deserved for trusting others to let him have a private conversation.

"You know, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that this ain't really any of ya'lls business." said Jesse.

Lena clicked her tongue.

"How can you justify being friends with him, still?" she asked Jesse as she pointed to Hanzo. "After learning that?"

"...Lena, you know we're in public, right?" Jesse replied.

"What's your point?"

With a little sigh, Jesse rubbed the back of his head. Suddenly, his eyes lit up.

"Anyone up for a little game?" Jesse said as he grabbed his hat and turned it upside-down.

"What game?" asked Lena.

"Anyone got a piece of paper and a pen?"

Mei, Fareeha, Genji, and Lena all shot each other glances of uncertainty. Hanzo just hoped that whatever was going to happen would be entertaining.

"Why do I feel like I'm about to lose money?" Fareeha muttered.

"What are we doing?" Genji asked Jesse.

"Each one of ya'lls gonna tear off a little piece of paper." Jesse answered. "And then you're gonna write a world problem on it, and you're gonna put it in this hat."

"And then what?"

"Then I'm gonna draw one."

"And _then_ what?"

"Wait and see."

Mei revealed that she had pens and a few sheets of paper. Although they all still looked confused, everyone still followed Jesse's instructions and began to write on torn pieces of paper.

Hanzo tried to tear off a slip of paper of his own so that he could add an idea, but Jesse stopped him with a hand and a silent smile.

"Can we say what we're putting in?" Genji asked.

"Don't see why not." Jesse replied.

"Very well. I'm putting in racism."

"Well _I'm_ putting in world hunger." Lena replied.

"...Good for you two." said Fareeha.

Hanzo watched as Fareeha, Mei, Lena, and Genji placed their slips in the hat.

"Alright." Jesse said as he reached in his hat. "And the world problem is..."

Mei, Genji, and Fareeha all looked mildly interested. Lena looked like she might explode.

"...female bullying." Jesse finished.

"That one was mine." Mei said proudly.

"Yeah, I could tell by all the hearts you drew on it and the way you signed your name."

"And only at the cost of racism and world hunger." Genji told Mei.

With another grin, Jesse handed the slip to Hanzo.

"Solve it." said Jesse.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

Mei, Lena, and Fareeha all raised a puzzled eyebrow. Genji, however, finally looked like he understood.

"You got ninety minutes." Jesse explained. "Write a proposal."

On one hand, Hanzo was more than a little puzzled regarding Jesse's motivations. But on the other, Hanzo was never one to back down from a task.

"Very well." Hanzo said as he turned to leave.

"Meet us in the breakroom." Jesse instructed as Hanzo passed through the door.

Hanzo took off into a run.

Back at his quarters, Hanzo got to work without question. After decided he didn't want _footage of school girls interacting_ in his search history, Hanzo did the next best thing and watched several teen dramas at three-times speed. After eighty-eight minutes had passed, Hanzo tore off down the hall once again.

He made it just in time.

When he arrived, he found that Zenyatta had come along with everyone else. Which Hanzo found a bit intimidating, although not enough to back down.

Jesse was sitting on the couch with a smug expression next to Fareeha. Everyone else was at the table.

They all turned to face Hanzo as he entered the room.

"How'd it go?" asked Jesse.

Hanzo looked down at his sheet of notes. He wasn't sure how to answer Jesse's question.

"It went well enough." Hanzo replied. "Why is Zenyatta here?"

"I am interested in your solution to the female bullying crisis." Zenyatta answered. "What do you have for us?"

After clearing his throat, Hanzo got started.

"For the vast majority of its time on this planet, and even still to some extent today, humankind has undergone a systemic process of social ostracization." Hanzo said. "This ostracization traditionally concluded in either public stonings or castration and exile, which due to the way natural selection works, is just as frightening to our unconscious mind as death."

Everyone continued to stare in silence.

"The purpose of this ostracization is most likely to rid humanity of potential dangerous people or traits, such as homicidal tendencies." Hanzo continued. "Of course, this process is rather primitive and thus results in countless fatalities of innocent people who are simply strange for other reasons. And with modern technology, the practice is completely obsolete. However, it is still written in our blood."

Hanzo was very confident as he spoke. Because even without his research, he'd had decades of first hand experience with social ostracization.

"Adolescents live under the constant expectation that someone is going to be socially ostracized. So my hypothesis is that besides personal problems, what drives a group of adolescents of a higher status to socially attack a seemingly random adolescent of a lower is the catharsis gleaned from the indication that when someone is chosen to be stoned or castrated, it will not be one of the attackers."

"...The hell you on about?" Lena mumbled.

"I ask you all now to consider the plot of _Beth and Tiffany's Funtastic Adventure_."

Hanzo held up the card he'd made that carefully mapped out the plot of _Beth and Tiffany's Funtastic Adventure_ , as well as the other teen dramas he'd watched.

"The plots of these movies are all the same." he followed. "There is a protagonist of mid-range social status who is threatened by another female of a higher popularity level due to petty circumstance. The protagonist's social status dips to an all-time low by the end of the second act, but is restored to godlike proportions after she overcomes the main obstacle which also, coincidentally or otherwise, lowers the female who was originally of a higher status to social ostracization. Which indicates to me that the writers of these films have no understanding of the underlying problem."

"What do you mean?" asked Mei.

"When the conclusion of the film is that the antagonizing female is dropped from a high-status to ostracization, although it brings catharsis, it is still reaffirming the idea that someone must be socially ostracized. When in truth, the way to solve the problem of systemic bullying is to create an environment where every child understands that no one is going to be stoned or castrated."

A long moment of silence went by as Hanzo put his cards away.

"You know." Fareeha started. "That actually kind of makes sense."

While everyone else nodded in agreement, Jesse cleared his throat and placed his hat upside-down in his hand. Fareeha, Lena, and Mei all groaned as they reached into their wallets and began to toss bills into his hat.

"I am very impressed, Hanzo." Zenyatta said as Jesse put on his hat, the bills raining down his shoulders. "You did your research well."

"I hope you will all be very pleased to know that if I ever come into power again, everyone's role in society will be predetermined by the government." Hanzo replied. "So no one will ever be left out again."

Everyone blinked.

"Provided they all perform their function..." Hanzo followed.

With a little groan, Jesse rubbed his forehead. Hanzo only realized then that everyone was staring at him in disapproval.

"What?" asked Hanzo.

"Life is more than a series of ones and zeros." Zenyatta said.

In an infuriating turn of events, everyone 'ooh'ed. Hanzo was overcome with a wave of irritation so intense that he nearly gagged.

Every other time Zenyatta had decided to be a dumbass, Hanzo had done nothing. This time, however, Hanzo didn't think he could take it. Especially when Genji ran over and began to violently Fortnite dance in front of him.

"What does that mean?" Hanzo asked Zenyatta with dead eyes as he pushed his brother out of the way.

"Pardon?" Zenyatta replied.

"What you say. What does it mean? Does it mean nothing?"

"You do not agree with it?"

Zenyatta's tone was almost amused. Hanzo immediately felt the suspicion that he was being baited, but he opened his mouth to respond nonetheless.

"The line was so vague that I could hardly answer your question." Hanzo answered.

"Do you believe that life is a sequence of numbers?"

"I believe that reality is composed of mathematics, yes. I believe that although the technology is impossible, we could potentially recreate our universe in a simulation."

"Is that why it made you so angry when I said what I said?"

Hanzo shot Zenyatta a raised eyebrow and a confused glance. Along with everyone else in the room, Zenyatta gave him nothing but a blank stare in return.

"No." Hanzo replied.

"What made you angry?" asked Zenyatta.

"For reasons I cannot understand, humankind finds the mathematical truth of reality to be frightening. I believe we must conquer this fear to reach a greater potential. So when you offer the idea to them that reality may not follow reason, I find it counterproductive and downright insulting."

"Are you an atheist?"

"No, I've no quarrel with intelligent design."

"So what do you quarrel with?"

The rest of the room had long since fallen silent. But to Hanzo's surprise, their blank gazes began to morph into ones of mild interest.

"I find the blatantly incorrect notion that there is objective value in anything beyond the laws of physics which shape it to be blatantly wrong and horribly dangerous." Hanzo explained.

"Why?"

"I believe it to be responsible for much of our suffering."

Even with Zenyatta's expressionless face and Hanzo's poor judge of emotion, Hanzo still managed to pick up that Zenyatta was having the time of his life.

"Do you not find that to be discouraging?" Zenyatta asked.

"Find what to be discouraging?" Hanzo replied.

"You do not find it depressing or pretentious to be but a mechanism without inherent purpose? A slave to the laws of reality?"

As they both began to speak faster, Hanzo failed to notice the way everyone in the room was watching the conversation like a hawk.

"Not at all." answered Hanzo.

"Why not?" Zenyatta pushed.

"I find machines to be wonderful and fascinating. I consider it an honor to be one."

"Really."

"I find it amusing that I am a slave to physics. I find it comical that I am made from meat and goo. It is comforting to me that I hold no objective value."

Hanzo only realized how quickly he was speaking when his breath started to get caught in his throat. All too suddenly, his chest began to swell as he was taken over by a sensation he hadn't felt in years; a passion for life.

"Why?" asked Zenyatta.

"So that I can experience the ultimate freedom of defining utility for myself."

Silence fell as Zenyatta failed to reply with the rapid speed he'd been providing. Tension grew across Hanzo's skin as he did his best not to shake from the Adrenaline coursing through his veins. But as long as Hanzo stared at Zenyatta with expectation, Zenyatta only stared back in silence.

"What? What is it?" Hanzo finally asked.

"You sound like a libertarian." Zenyatta answered.

Jesse was the first to burst into laughter. A second later, everyone joined him with animated enthusiasm.

"You set me up!" Hanzo called.

Zenyatta didn't reply. After setting a hand on his own chest, Jesse managed to calm himself.

"You kinda set yourself up." said Jesse.

"I must be going." Zenyatta announced. "If anyone would like to come meditate with me, you are very welcome to."

Zenyatta made his way over to the door. Everyone but Jesse followed with interest.

Hanzo could still hear them laughing in the hall.

"You alright?" Jesse asked Hanzo once the room was empty.

"Of course I am alright. Why wouldn't I be alright?"

Hanzo was not alright.

"You need a hug?" Jesse pressed.

"No." Hanzo lied.

"Suit yourself."

While Jesse retied the laces of one of his boots, Hanzo drew his hands into his lap.

"You look like you could use a drink." Jesse followed.

"I suppose I could handle one." Hanzo admitted.

"My place or yours?"

"Mine. But do not coax me into too much. I have an assignment tomorrow."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

As they left the breakroom, Hanzo felt instantly more at ease. And the feeling was only amplified as they entered his quarters and closed the door behind them.

They ended up drinking a little less than half a gourd of sake. It wasn't enough to get drunk off of, but it was enough for Jesse to spread himself across enough of the couch for their knees to bump.

"You sure you're alright?" Jesse pressed as he lit a cigar.

Immediately, the scent of fine tobacco filled the air, for which Hanzo was appreciative.

"I'm fine." he replied.

Hanzo's words were truthful, just so long as Jesse kept his knee where it was.

"In that case, uh," Jesse stumbled, "there's something I feel like I should tell you."

"What would you like to tell me?"

"You remember how I used to work with your brother in Blackwatch?"

Jesse had spoken very little about his time in Blackwatch, as well as his past as a whole. All Hanzo knew was that Blackwatch had crumbled to political fallout and that Moira and Reyes had turned to Talon.

"Yes." Hanzo replied.

"I mighta--screwed him a couple times."

Thanks to a bit of mental lag, Jesse's words took a few moments to dawn on Hanzo. But when they did, he immediately began to hyperventilate.

"Woah!" Jesse exclaimed as he stood up from the couch. "Let me get you something."

Jesse left for a moment and quickly returned with a paper bag. Hanzo uncovered his mouth with his hands in favor of the bag.

"How can I help you?" asked Jesse.

"I will--be fine." Hanzo replied.

"I ain't really sure what set you off like this, but I'm sorry for upsetting you."

"Upsetting me? No. I am--simply experiencing--an overwhelming state of euphoria."

Since the moment Hanzo's composure had snapped, Jesse's face had been startled and white. However, it quickly turned to a look of unadulterated confusion.

"...What?" Jesse asked.

"I consider sexuality--to be a wonderful gift." Hanzo explained. "I'd thought for certain--I had stolen it from--my brother. To hear that I did not..."

Jesse's eyes lit up with sudden understanding.

" _Oooooh._ " he stated. "I getcha."

"I apologize--for my behavior."

"Nah, you're alright."

Hanzo did his best to calm down. He'd never been particularly good at handling joy.

After a little less than a minute, Hanzo was finally able to curb his breathing into something more standard. And in a wonderful turn of events, Jesse reached over and rubbed him on the shoulder when he was finally finished.

"I'm sorry." said Hanzo.

"It's alright."

"I am ashamed."

"Don't be. It was real cute, if I'm being honest."

Hanzo quickly eyed Jesse's face to search for any signs of sarcasm. He found none.

"Mind if I change the subject?" Jesse followed.

"I would vastly prefer it." Hanzo replied.

"Good. Can I ask you something a little personal?"

"Yes."

Jesse had to open and close his mouth twice before he was able to form words.

"Have you ever been in love?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo's mouth twisted with thought.

"I consider the phrase 'in love' to be a too inconsistently defined concept for me to answer that question with confidence." he admitted.

"Yeah, I should've figured."

"I have felt intense, long-term attraction a few times before. Once was--I loved a woman I was with for several years in Japan, almost two decades ago."

"What happened?"

Hanzo scoffed as he took another small sip of alcohol.

"She was too much like my mother." he answered.

Jesse hummed in amusement.

"And what about you?" asked Hanzo.

"I, uh, twice." Jesse replied.

"Tell me about it. If you do not mind."

"First was this girl from my hometown. Elizabeth. We used to run a big chunk of the black market together."

"What happened?"

"We had a lot of, uh, moral conflicts. All we did was fight. But we, um..."

Jesse looked at his knees.

"What?" Hanzo pressed.

"We couldn't keep our hands off each other." Jesse answered as he blew out a drawl.

"You had good sex?"

"We had real good sex. All we did was fight and screw. It was bad."

"If the sex was so pleasurable, did you never think to consider having only a sexual relationship with her?"

"Don't think that'd work. It was kinda the relationship being so bad that made the sex so good. You know?"

Hanzo didn't know.

"What of the other time?" he asked.

Jesse's expression grew embarrassed.

"The other time was with a--man." answered Jesse.

"Mmh." Hanzo replied.

"He was my old commander. When I worked for Blackwatch."

"What happened?"

"Well, he was a little too much like my father."

Hanzo cracked a smile.

"I'm kidding." Jesse followed. "Well, no I ain't. He was a psycho."

"How long were you two together?"

"We weren't. He didn't love me back. At the time, I was devastated. But in retrospect--"

Jesse paused for a moment to put out his cigar.

"--reckon I might've dodged a bullet." he finished with a smile.

"Hmm."

Jesse yawned and spread his legs further. Hanzo was forced to expend all his will to resist the urge to drop to his knees and beg to preform oral sex.

"You alright?" Jesse asked. "You look a little--spacey."

"I am alright." Hanzo replied, just a little too quickly. "My apologies."

For a cold, horrible moment, Jesse adjusted his weight and removed his knee from its spot against Hanzo's. However, when he relaxed, he returned his knee to where it was with even more pressure.

"Can I ask you one more thing?" Jesse followed.

"You may ask me many more things." Hanzo replied.

"This thing is a little personal."

"You said that about the last thing."

"Good point."

Hanzo was silent while he waited for Jesse to speak. When Jesse did begin to talk, the words were more serious than Hanzo had been expecting.

"I don't know what the chances of us still knowing each other when we're old are," Jesse started, "but..."

Jesse paused for a moment to glance at the ground.

"I don't ever wanna be a burden." he continued. "If you still know me when my mind starts to go, and there ain't no Alzheimer's reversal technique coming around the corner, I want you to take me out in the yard and put a couple bullets in my head."

Hanzo could not believe what he was hearing.

"How could you not wish to be senile?" asked Hanzo. "That is your reward."

"...What?"

"You have to do no work but everyone else is forced to respect you?"

Jesse blinked.

"...Alright then." Jesse replied. "Though I'm gonna warn you now if you really wanna let me live. If I'm anything like my grandparents, I'm gonna get real racist before I die."

"Racist against who?"

"The Chinese?"

"You will have something in common with my mother, in that case."

"I don't like...anything about what you just said."

Hanzo could live with that.


	11. great apes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am not a history expert. i did my best but please don't quote me

_April 15th, 2077_

'Hey, can you come help me with something?' Hana sent.

Hanzo let his eyes open. Accidentally waking Ana up in the process, he checked his phone to see that they still had a half hour before the transmission.

"I am with Commander Amari." Hanzo replied.

'That's fine, we could use her too. I'm rounding up everyone McCree was closest to.'

"Why?"

'It's hard to explain. Just come to McCree's quarters.'

"What's happening?" Ana asked Hanzo as she rubbed her face.

"Would you like to help agent Song with a poorly defined project?" Hanzo replied.

"I will go where you go."

"I would like to go."

"So be it."

Ana took a stand. Hanzo followed suit and brushed himself off.

The trek to Jesse's quarters was short. Hanzo kept his hand on Ana's waist as they walked.

After opening the door and stepping inside, Hanzo was greeted with the image of Hana and Genji sitting in front of Jesse's computer.

"Click all the boxes with stoplights." Genji said to Hana.

"I did click all the boxes with stoplights!" Hana replied.

"What are you doing?" asked Hanzo.

"We're trying to hack into McCree's computer to see if there's anything on it to give us a hint to where he is."

For a moment, Hanzo considered asking what information they could possibly find that would be remotely helpful, but refrained after realizing that he couldn't think of anything better to do with his time.

"Ok, we're in!" Hana announced.

"To his computer?" asked Hanzo.

"No, we just got to the password input screen. Does anyone know what McCree's password is?"

No one replied.

"Fine, we'll just have to answer the security questions." Hana followed.

"What are they?" Ana asked.

"Um...question one is 'favorite movie'."

Ana, Genji, and Hana all looked at each other with uncertainty. Ana opened her mouth for a moment, but quickly closed it.

"Remember, if we get it wrong, we have to pass the captcha again." said Hana.

"He watches Unforgiven at least once a year." Genji offered.

"Yes, but he did the same with The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly." Ana replied.

"We'll just have to try them both."

Hanzo shook his head.

"You're both wrong." he said. "McCree's favorite movie is Heathers."

To Hanzo's surprise, Hana typed in his idea into the little box.

"It worked." Hana replied. "The next question is his favorite food."

"Hot sauce." said Genji.

"Hot sauce is not a food." Hanzo snapped.

"Then what it is?"

"A _sauce_."

Genji waved his hand at Hanzo in irritation before opening his mouth once again.

"Try 'pussy'." he told Hana.

Along with Ana, Hanzo turned his eyes towards Genji and glared at him with disapproval.

"What?" Genji asked as he crossed his arms across his chest. "What would you say if a computer asked for your favorite food?"

Hanzo looked down.

"Pussy." Ana admitted, kicking at the ground.

"...Pussy." Hanzo mumbled.

"Ass." answered Hana.

"Generational differences." Ana stated with a shake of her head.

Hana typed in 'pussy' to the box and clicked the submit button.

"That worked too." she said. "The next question is about his sexuality."

"Seems a little personal..." Ana muttered.

"What's the question?" asked Genji.

"Just, 'what's your sexuality?'"

Genji squinted his eyes in thought.

"I believe McCree is bisexual." he said.

"Yes, but he would not answer the question that way." Hanzo replied. "He would assume all this information goes directly to the government."

"How would he answer it?" Ana asked.

"'Get off my ass'."

Hana typed in Hanzo's suggestion.

"He's right again." she announced.

"Have we finished with the security questions yet?" asked Hanzo.

"There's just one more left." Hana answered. "And it's for you, Hanzo."

"...What?"

"How big's his dick?"

Gritting his teeth, Hanzo narrowed his eyes at her.

"Flaccid or erect?" Ana asked.

Everyone turned to Ana and stared.

"What?" she followed. "I'm a doctor."

Hanzo couldn't see much given that Hana was the one sitting in front of the screen. Still, he could make out that she'd gotten in and opened a browser.

"Who wants to look at his search history?" asked Hana.

"What is our purpose for doing this again?" Hanzo replied

"Research." Genji answered. "I want to see."

"Alright, guess I can't be held accountable then." said Hana as she scrolled. "Let's see. There isn't anything here for the day before he was captured, but a few days before that he searched for a bunch of stuff."

"Such as...?"

"Uhhh... _highest scoville hot sauce buy_..." Hana read, " _how much money does Jeff Bezos have_...um, _alternative giant online retailer to Amazon_... _drinking hot sauce out of bottle safe?'"_

Hanzo knew he should probably put an end to whatever was about to happen before it started, but he had to admit that he was a bit curious.

"Holy shit, guys, at 11:01 pm he searched for hentai!" Hana announced.

Genji let out a childish snicker.

"And then at 11:02 he searched for _hentai middle-aged woman!"_ Hana continued.

"Is this immoral?" Ana asked.

"Less than a minute later, he searched for _hentai middle-aged woman normal sized titties_."

"Yes, but we’ve already gotten this far." Genji answered.

"At 11:04 he searched for _hentai middle-aged woman normal sized titties having a nice time with partner who respects her boundaries_."

"Good for him." Ana said proudly.

"At 11:05 he searched for _are the Japanese doing alright?"_

"So that is why he asked me that." Hanzo mused.

"Finally, at 11:06, he searched for _Sears underwear catalog_. Then he didn't search for anything else for a long time." Hana finished.

Silence fell as Hana continued to scroll. Hanzo took a step to the side for a better look at the screen.

"Holy shit." Hana swore. "McCree has a blog?"

"What's it called?" asked Genji

"Uh, 'shit that statists say'."

"What's a statist?"

"What anarcho capitalists call anyone who's not an anarcho capitalist." Hanzo explained.

"Oh, don't call them anarchists." Ana replied. "You have to say 'libertarian' or they get fussy."

"But that is what a libertarian is. An anarchist."

"I never said it wasn't stupid."

"He has twenty thousand followers." said Hana. "How didn't we hear about this?"

"What's in the blog?" Genji asked.

Hanzo watched as Hana clicked on the blog.

"Hey!" she called. "It's a bunch of stuff that we said!"

"Is anything I said in it?" asked Hanzo.

"There's a whole subsection called 'stuff that specifically my friend Hanzo says'."

Hana's eyes were wide as she clicked on the subsection.

"Hanzo, did you really say abstract art should be illegal?" Hana questioned.

 _"Oh, look at me. I'm an artist. I tossed handfuls of paint in the direction of a canvas_ _and claimed it to be a contribution to society._ " Hanzo mocked. "If that is not pure evil, I don't know what is."

Eventually, twenty-five minutes passed and Hanzo realized they should probably be getting to the meeting room. After bidding then goodbye, Hanzo turned towards the door.

Only Ana came with him.

"Message me with how it turns out." Genji said with a pained face before they shut the door behind themselves.

Hanzo tried not to think too hard about why they didn't want to see.

* * *

* * *

_October 26th, 2076_

Even after another few months, Hanzo still rarely saw Moira outside of interrogation sessions. And even when he did see her, she was eating alone in the dining hall.

She always ate at noon. Her expression was never particularly readable, and it continued to be so as Hanzo approached her.

"Hello." Hanzo greeted. "May I have a moment of your time?"

Moira finished chewing before she responded.

"I don't see why not." she replied.

"Have you ever heard of Satya Vaswani?"

"Symmetra? Yes, I've read her books. Why do you ask?"

"She is a friend of mine. Every Wednesday, we collaborate in the creation of an extensive constitution for a theoretical system of government. We were wondering if you'd like to meet with us."

Moira paused for a moment to take another bite of her pasta.

"I'm not particularly interested in politics." said Moira. "I doubt I could be of much help."

"I understand that, and I should have been more clear." Hanzo replied. "I'm not asking for your help with the actual constitution."

"Oh?"

"But we are both interested in your work. We would like it if you came by and spoke of your previous work after we'd finished with our constitutional session."

Moira raised an eyebrow.

"You are not offended by my studies?" she asked.

"You have done things that I would not do." Hanzo replied. "However, this only furthers my compulsion to learn of the results as I believe it will help apply purpose to the acts you've partaken in that I disagree with."

"Huh..."

As she took another bite of her food, Moira glanced off in thought.

"I guess I see no reason why not." Moira followed.

"Very well. Would you like my contact information?"

Moira nodded.

"Hanzo, are you coming?" asked Winston.

Hanzo nearly jumped. He hadn't realized anyone was behind him.

"Coming to where?" he replied.

"Don't you remember?" Winston pressed. "I'm taking anyone who's interested and free for the next few hours to the moon base."

"I don't recall hearing of this."

"I emailed everyone weeks ago."

"I've not checked my email in thirty years."

Winston let out an awkward sigh.

"Would you like to go to the moon?" he asked.

"Who is coming?" Hanzo replied.

"Angela, Genji, uh, Fareeha, Hana, McC--"

"I'll come."

"Alright. Be in the loading bay in ten minutes."

After Winston had left, Hanzo turned back to Moira.

"My apologies." Hanzo said to her as he gave her his contact information.

"It's no problem." Moira replied. "When would I be coming over?"

"A week from today. My quarters, at noon."

"Very well. I will see you then."

Hanzo left with a small bow. Moira only stared.

As he jogged to the loading bay, Hanzo did his best to clear his head.

The ride to the moon took less than an hour. Although both Jesse and Genji were upset that the synthetic gravity on the ship meant no floating around like assholes, Hanzo was thankful as it made for better napping. When he was finally woken up, he followed the group into the massive, metallic grey and white open space of the moon base.

The base was mostly open space, but a few small rooms could be spotted off to the sides as Winston led them through the halls. Hanzo longed to look through a window.

"Where can I see the earth?" Hanzo asked Winston. "I've heard good things."

"Through there, and to the right." Winston pointed.

"Thank you."

"But, uh, be careful."

"Careful with what?"

"Seeing the earth from this far away usually makes people...a little emotional."

"I believe I can handle myself."

With a tiny shrug, Winston closed his mouth. Hanzo followed his instructions.

He found himself in a large, dark grey room. It was quite spacious, and a transparent window gave Hanzo a detailed view of the earth in its entirety.

To his surprise, Hanzo did find the sight a bit emotional. The mass of the earth made it difficult not to see all the world as one. Hanzo sat in peaceful silence for a short while, transfixed by the beauty.

"Brother, are you in here?" Genji's voice called from outside.

"No." Hanzo replied.

"Very good. Then you won't mind if I join you."

The click of Genji's feet was loud against the cold metal of the floor. Hanzo felt the air shift to his right as his brother sat beside him.

"Now." Genji said, turning his head towards the globe. "I'd like to look at that--"

Genji cut himself off mid sentence. Hanzo opened his mouth to ask why, but was cut off by a sudden, choked sob.

" _Oh_." Genji cried.

Hanzo's eyes widened in panic as Genji fell against his shoulder.

"You seem to be troubled." Hanzo noted in a voice far calmer than he felt.

Genji didn't respond, just continued to wail and soak the fabric of Hanzo's shirt. Hanzo felt almost dizzy from confusion.

"How can I assist you?" Hanzo followed.

" _It's--so--beautiful!"_ Genji wailed.

Face completely white, Hanzo reached for as phone. As quickly as he could, he texted for back-up.

It took less than a minute for back-up to arrive. Hanzo repeatedly pat Genji on the head as lovingly as he could manage while he waited.

"You called?" Jesse asked as he walked through the opening.

Hanzo looked over his shoulder with desperate, grit teeth. He motioned to Genji with his head as Jesse raised his head towards the giant window.

"Oh, damn." Jesse muttered. He brought his fist to his mouth as his face contorted into a sob.

Hanzo wasn't sure what or why was happening when Jesse began to cry. At the very least, Genji left Hanzo's lap in favor of hugging Jesse and sinking to the ground with him in a messy pile of arms and sobs. Hanzo turned his head away in further confusion.

 _"Why are we killing each other?"_ Jesse asked Genji. _"Why do we gotta go to war?"_

_"I don't know!"_

"What's going on?" asked Ana. "I heard crying."

"Commander Amari." Hanzo begged. "Please help--"

Hanzo was cut off as Ana burst into tears. She went straight for Jesse and Genji, who welcomed her with open arms.

At the very least, all the commotion made sneaking out of the room much easier. Once outside, Hanzo watched as Hana, Fareeha, and Morrison all wandered in with the others.

Morrison reappeared back outside almost immediately. After making quick eye contact with Hanzo, Morrison looked down.

"Air's kinda dusty in there." Morrison huffed before turning on his heels and disappearing.

Shaken, Hanzo took off for Winston. He found him in a small room off to the side, messing with a remote control.

"Oh." said Winston. "Hello Hanzo. Did you enjoy the earth?"

"Very much. Until the others joined me and began to enjoy it too much."

Winston chuckled darkly.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." he replied.

"Hmm."

"Say, do you think you could help me with something?"

Hanzo nodded.

Over the following twenty minutes, Hanzo helped Winston search for the batteries for his remote control. Once they'd finally found them, Ana, Morrison, Hana, Fareeha, and Jesse had managed to filter inside. Everyone save for Genji and Angela, who Hanzo learned from Hana were making out in the bathroom.

Thankfully, no one was crying anymore.

"What is the remote for?" Hanzo asked Winston.

"Oh, it's for an experiment I've been overseeing." Winston answered.

"An experiment?" asked Ana. "May we see?"

Winston chuckled, be it a bit anxiously.

"You're all welcome to watch, although I'll warn you that you might find it a bit...shocking." he replied.

"You can't just pitch it to us like that and then not give us the pay out." Hana announced. "Let's go!"

With a tiny shrug, Winston hit a button on his remote control. The screen on the far wall hummed to life, although the image was too blurry to make out.

"It's hard to explain, but we use this simulation to run experiments on the behavior of different species of apes." said Winston.

"What apes will we be looking at here?" Ana replied.

"Oh. Uh, humans."

The image on the screen grew clearer. A realistic-looking scene of wild-life and six figures appeared, all of which was as detailed as real footage.

After examining the screen more carefully, Hanzo found that the figures were six adults, three female and three male. Their skin was a medium brown, and they were covered in generous amount of body hair. The females were completely naked and the males were almost completely naked, wearing only thin loin cloths that were clearly more for the purpose of keeping their genitalia in place than covering themselves. Curiously enough, they all had three even, horizontal scars across their left shoulders. Hanzo assumed they were the result of ritual. The eldest female, a weathered old woman who looked like she might have been the ripe old age of forty-five, held a long walking stick. She stood next to a decorated male with graying hair, a sharp spear, and a blunt gray stone attached to a holster on his hip.

"Can we get a couple of black bars on the window here?" Jesse asked, his voice just on the edge of a nervous laugh.

The other four humans were a small, very young female that looked only just out of her teens, as well as three physically competent-looking mature adults; two male and one female. The female and one of the males was very tall. The other male was of average height, but was built the strongest and sturdiest.

They all appeared to be walking somewhere. In the background, other humans could be seen alongside crude shelters, but the group of six was traveling further from them. Hanzo gathered that they were going off to look for food.

"Who are these people?" asked Fareeha.

"That's...a complicated question." Winston answered. "The short answer is that they're test subjects."

"They ain't...conscious, are they?" Jesse replied.

"Um, no. It's a bit hard to explain what they are. A while ago, this department did a physical and neurological scan of six infants, and from that, we're able to create several faux 'brains' in the form of computer programs. We now place the brains into virtual, duplicate infants, which we then raise in simulated environments, each of a varying location, time period, political structure, or anything that you can think of."

Hanzo turned his head and examined the occupants of the room. Save for Winston, he counted six including himself, three female and three male. He looked back to the six figures on the screen, three female and three male.

it was probably just a coincidence.

"Are they always the same people?" asked Hana.

"That depends on your definition of a person." Winston replied. "They always start with the same basic soul, but different simulations lead them to mature differently. We started this experiment to observe the dichotomy of nature and nurture."

"Winston, why don't you just use uncontacted tribes to study?" Fareeha asked.

"Well..."

"What?"

Winston's face was hit with a pang of dismay.

"There aren't any more uncontacted tribes." he answered.

"What?" Fareeha replied. "Where did they go?"

"They were--um--bulldozed over in World War IV. Now the survivors' children work for Apple."

As horror struck Fareeha's face, Hanzo thought of a question of his own.

"What is your estimation for the ratio within nature versus nurture?" Hanzo asked Winston.

"About fifty-fifty, both in terms of physical health and character."

Hanzo nodded. He took a moment to watch the six on the screen as they continued with their hike along a crude trail through the tropical forest. He could hear them speaking to each other, but he didn't understand the language.

"What's this simulation?" Hana asked.

"This is a pre-agricultural revolution simulation. We do a lot of these. The pre-history era is what we're most interested in, as it was the longest but the one we have the least information on." Winston answered.

"If you are lacking in information, how do you create the environment for the simulated people?" asked Hanzo.

"That's a bit...complicated. What we do is simulate a tribe of a different species of apes that we do have information on, and then have them raise a group of virtual humans. We then program in the acceleration of time by a few hundred generations, and then implement--"

Winston pointed at the group of six.

"--our test subjects, in their infant forms." he finished.

"Hundreds of generations? I thought you only had data for six humans."

"We do. The previous generations of humans, as well as the others in their tribe, are all composed of randomized statistics that fall within the standard human range. They're like, um, NPCs."

"Oh. I understand."

"In this particular simulation, the humans were raised by orangutans." Winston announced to everyone. "Or at least, their very distant ancestors were."

Everyone nodded tastefully. They fell silent as the group of simulated humans came to a split path.

The left path opened into a wide clearing of large fruit trees, while the right path opened into a much smaller, shittier-looking clearing that seemed to be infested with bugs.

The shortest male pointed at the left path, but to Hanzo's utter surprise, the group took a few steps in favor of the right path instead.

"Why won't they travel there?" Hanzo asked.

"Sixty years ago, a man from their tribe died of prostate cancer while hunting there." Winston answered. "Now they believe the land to be cursed by the gods."

Hanzo scowled in frustration. The shortest male began to point more vigorously towards the fruit clearing path as he tugged on the arm of the oldest male.

The oldest male turned to him with a look of distaste. Reaching down, he removed a large rock from a hip holster and held it in his hand for the shorter male to see.

"What's that?" asked Morrison.

"That's the...punishment rock." Winston replied. "This male used it as his one and only form of leadership."

"That's a good idea."

"Uh, I wouldn't be so sure about that. Nearly every piece of scientific data points to violence being both psychologically crippling and less effective than diplomacy."

"No, it builds character."

The shortest male scowled in frustration at the threat of the punishment rock. He followed the rest of his pack down the right path to the bug infested clearing, sulking the whole way.

As the oldest male went to put the rock back into his holster, his foot collided with a root, causing him to trip and fall. Immediately, the oldest female pointed at him with her staff and began to laugh happily.

"Ha ha!" Ana laughed, pointing at the exchange with delight.

The group settled into the clearing. The oldest female and smallest female went straight for the fruit tree, while the males got to work on carving some pointy sticks with a stone knife the tallest male had brought. After glancing uncertainly between the two groups, the tallest female took a tentative step towards the males. The oldest male lifted his head up in surprise. The female gestured at the pointy sticks, and then at herself.

After pursing his lips, the oldest male pointed at the punishment rock.

"That's not very woke of him." Fareeha said with disapproval as the tallest female walked away with a look of irritation.

”Finna cringe use of woke, Fareeha.” Hana replied.

"Uh, this part's boring." Winston mumbled as he pressed a button on his remote. "Let's watch them back at home."

The images on the screen started to speed up through the hunting and gathering session, and didn't resume normal speed until the tribe members were back at their land with a dead boar and a lot of fruit.

Hanzo examined their living space. They'd built their homes out of mud and sticks in neat rows. Brightly colored art adorned the walls of each hut, and a few wooden mechanisms that Hanzo assumed were instruments had been leaned up against the walls. Hanzo turned his eyes to a log close by, where an unfamiliar female sat with a young child. He watched as she dipped the tip of a sharp rock into a wooden bowl of something he couldn't make out.

"Oh, call CPA." Jesse said as a mother began to brand the child's shoulder with the rock.

"It's not that bad." Winston assured him as the child cried out in pain. "Skin carving only has a fifteen percent mortality rate."

A whistle sounded out to the left. Hanzo looked up to see the oldest, most decorated male. The woman on the log wrapped a white cloth around the young child's shoulder and joined the rest of the adults, who had all gathered themselves next to the oldest male. Quickly, the children formed a group across from the adults. The decorated male then held a heavy looking sack outward for the adults, who began reaching inside of it one by one. They each pulled out a few smooth stones, about half the size of a baseball.

"Oh, goodie, where's this going?" Jesse asked.

"This is called rock ball." Winston answered as the children began to run. "The adults throw projectiles into the air while their children dodge them."

"Why?" asked Hana.

"They want to train their children. They're at war with a neighboring tribe to the north, and the two kill each other on sight."

"...Why?"

"About a hundred years ago, a male from the northern tribe bred with a female from this tribe and accidentally gave her chicken pox, which then spread to the entire tribe and wiped out ten percent of the people. They mistook the situation for a deliberate act of unholy malice, and they've been at war ever since."

"Is all human war that stupid?" Jesse asked.

"Uhuh." Winston answered.

The air grew tense. Winston's eyes widened in realization a moment too late.

"Well, not all war." Winston blurted out, just a second later. "This war, for example, isn't pointless."

Rock ball ended. The tribe members moved on to their next activity.

"Why is that woman laying down?" Fareeha asked. "Is she alright?"

"Ah, um, that's--" Winston stammered.

"...Oh." Fareeha replied.

"Christ." Jesse said as he covered his eyes. "They--in public?"

"Does that really surprise you?" asked Hanzo.

"I--uh--"

"Humans mate very frequently. It's one of their favorite activities." Winston said. "You--uh, get used to watching it after a while."

"Oh, don't let the kids see." Jesse muttered.

"Grow up." Hanzo replied.

Jesse did not grow up. Instead, he shielded his eyes with his hands.

"Wow, that one's really going for a streak." Fareeha said as she pointed to the screen.

Hanzo followed Fareeha's finger to see she was pointing at the tallest female, who had taken it up upon herself to fuck every available male in the village. And in front of the oldest male, no less.

"Oh, I think I know why she's doing that." Winston stated.

"What? Why?" asked Jesse.

"Here, I'll show you."

The images on the screen blurred once again as Winston skipped forward long enough for the weather to change from summer to winter. When Winston finally brought the simulation back to normal speed, the six main humans were going on another food trek.

Quickly, the tallest female caught up to the oldest male. When he looked over, she pointed at her flat stomach.

The oldest male sighed and tossed her a hunting spear.

"I still don't understand." Morrison said.

"She proved she's infertile." Winston explained. "Now there's no reason she can't hunt."

"And all she had to do was fuck everyone in town." said Fareeha.

"Pro gamer move." Hana replied.

"Did early humans live in matriarchies or patriarchies?" asked Ana. "I have a bet with Morrison."

"How didn't they live?" Winston mumbled.

"What does that mean?"

"Humans seem to at least be capable of living under every system under the sun. Using this technology, we can make humans take up just about anything. I've seen tribes lead by ceremoniously castrated men, warrior lesbians, red heads, cows, intersex people, and any other, um, arbitrary combination of anything."

"What's an intersex?" Jesse asked.

"I'm just happy they didn't always live in patriarchies." said Hana.

Personally, women's liberation was very important to Hanzo. After all, women were fifty percent of the population, and society's realization that they were of equal value would surely increase labor output graciously.

"Yes." Winston replied. "Although we don't know for sure, most new research suggests that male dominance was a recent development."

"How recent is recent?" Fareeha asked.

"Just fifteen thousand years or so."

"...Alright."

"Yes." Winston continued. "Personally, I suspect that sex egalitarianism was one of the two major contributors to humankind's eventual dominance."

"What is the other contributor?" Hanzo asked.

"Oh, the discovery of psychedelics."

"...Hippie."

"Why would they stop being considered equal?" Hana asked Winston. "Men and women, I mean."

Winston cleared his throat.

"The current hypothesis is that the collective sustainability provided by agriculture and the physical strength needed to withhold it is what brought about the hundred centuries where everyone thought women where, uh, worse." Winston answered.

"A minus two to intelligence, if you will." Hana replied happily.

Jesse's expression suddenly turned to one of guilt. Hanzo couldn't have been more confused.

"Is this tribe a matriarchy or patriarchy?" asked Hana.

"The way this tribe works is a bit complicated. There's a hunting leader, who is always male, a foraging leader, who is always female, and then a trade leader, who can be either male or female but must be homosexual."

"...What?" Jesse asked.

"As for politics," Winston continued, "females can't own private property but males can't vote. Does that answer your question, Hana?"

"No."

Although he knew it to be the secret to their success, Hanzo often wondered if humanity's ability to adapt to and accept literally anything was as much a curse as it was a gift.

"Would you like to see a matriarchy?" Winston asked Hana.

"Yeah!" Hana replied.

Winston pressed a few buttons. The screen transitioned on a scene that looked very similar to the last, but they now had scars on their foreheads, rather than their shoulders.

"This tribe lives in a soft matriarchy." Winston explained. "Their political decisions are all made by a council of females, lead by the oldest."

"I would think a society run by women would be a little less violent." Ana boasted.

It wasn't.

"Equality." Hana giggled as the oldest female used her stick to beat to death a man from a neighboring tribe who'd been run off by some lions and accidentally stumbled into the plume of leaves the babies had been sleeping in.

"This tribe's recent ancestors were raised by Pan Paniscus, or Bonobo Monkeys." Winston explained. "Bonobo Monkeys are the closest living relatives to homo sapiens."

"The sex monkeys?" Morrison asked.

Winston sighed.

"Yeah, the sex monkeys." he replied.

Hanzo had often wondered what a society run by women would look like. The only thing of any difference that he could see was that everyone was even hornier.

"Just as I'd thought..." Hanzo muttered.

"Guess you were right about the bisexuality." Jesse told Hanzo weakly.

"Yes." Winston replied. "We've found that whenever homosexuality is completely tolerated, about seventy percent of the tribe will engage in both hetero and homosexual acts. Most of the rest engage in exclusively heterosexual, and the remaining few in exclusively homosexual behavior."

Hanzo wasn't sure why Jesse was starting to turn a bit green.

"I've always thought that bonobos had the most efficient view of sex." Hanzo said to Jesse. "I too believe we should all incorporate sexuality into our casual interactions as a way to maximize pleasure and physical health for our collective at a low cost."

"Hanzo, I like talking to you a lot," Jesse replied, already halfway across the room, "but right now, I need to listen to somebody a bit more conservative."

Hanzo's mild disappointment was quickly replaced by amusement as Jesse settled next to Morrison.

"Hanzo, you aren't...alright with incest, are you?" asked Fareeha.

"Oh, not at all." Hanzo replied. "Offspring born of inbreeding are genetically inferior."

"Ah, alright."

"Although otherwise I would be."

Fareeha coughed.

"Are all the simulations in prehistory times?" Ana asked Winston.

"No, not at all." Winston replied. "Here they are in upper class eighteenth century Britain."

The images on the screen shifted drastically as the tribal people were replaced by intricately-dressed Europeans.

It took Hanzo a moment to realize that the six people the simulation was following were the same six people from before, as they looked quite a bit different. Besides their new clothing, their complexions had lightened significantly. And although their faces were still recognizable, their features had been shifted into something more northern European.

"I thought they kept their physiology." Hanzo said to Winston.

"They retain the overwhelming majority. We, however, change an immeasurably small amount to help them fit into the period and location we've stuck them in."

Hanzo continued to examine the six people. They seemed to be at a party. After the oldest male unintentionally spilled a bit of water onto her, the smallest female opened her mouth to speak.

"Oi, mate, I'll 'ave less a' that if you don't mind, govnuh!" she said.

"Change it." Hana begged. "Please."

With the press of another button, the scene before them changed again into something a little more eastern.

"What are they doing?" Morrison asked.

"They, uh, appear to be helping the Mongols slaughter millions of civilians." Winston answered.

"Aww." Jesse winced.

"Did you guys know I'm actually distantly related to Genghis Khan?" asked Hana.

"Yes." Ana replied.

"I'll move to the next one." Winston said. "Here they are in Salem burning homosexuals for witches..."

"Aww." Jesse repeated.

"Here they are in sixteenth century Brazil helping orphaned children..."

"Oh?"

"And here they are in ancient Rome committing horrendous race crimes."

"Aww!"

"But hey, homosexuality is in again."

Hanzo chuckled to himself for a moment. There was something strangely cathartic about watching Jesse's optimistic world views shatter violently.

"Ha, olden times people were so stupid." Morrison said.

"Just olden times people, huh?" Hanzo asked.

"Yeah. People were all batshit until about sixty years ago. Now they're alright."

"Here they are at a rally to support Richard Nixon..." Winston continued as he switched to another reality.

"That lying, sweaty bastard?!" Jesse cried as he brought his hands up to his face.

"How racist can you make them?" asked Fareeha.

"...Extremely." Winston replied.

"I’d always thought I wasn’t racist because I was like, inherently woke or something.” Hana said happily. “Guess I was wrong.”

Winston began to flip through simulations even faster. Hanzo did his best to keep up.

"Here they are as peasants," Winston said, "here they are as monarchs, as hippies, puritans, conservatives, liberals...uh, here they are as union soldiers, and here they are as confederate soldiers..."

Hanzo couldn't help but notice that the shortest male rarely looked happy in any of the realities.

"I think I gotta sit down." Jesse muttered.

"Can you run two simulations at the same time?" Hana asked.

"We run all these simulations at the same time." Winston answered. "Why do you ask?"

"I want to see them as confederate soldiers fight themselves as union soldiers."

"I don't think we can do that, but would you like to see how many different opinions they can have on Welfare?"

"Yeah!"

"I didn't know there was more than one opinion on Hell Fare." said Morrison.

"Can you make them own slaves?" Hana asked with a look of excitement.

"I'm not sure." Winston replied. "But I can certainly try."

Hanzo watched in amusement as Jesse placed a hand on Winston's shoulder.

"Winston, old pal." Jesse said as he slipped Winston a twenty. "You ain't really gonna do this to me, are you?"

Winston took the bait. As the screen changed back to the lazy adventures of the post-Bonobo human society, Jesse breathed out a sigh of relief.

"What's he doing?" Fareeha asked as she pointed to the tallest male, who was sitting off by himself in a small field of purple flowers.

"That male likes to use his free time to sit and stare at flowers." Winston answered.

"That's kinda gay." said Morrison.

"He always seems like he's thinking about something," Winston continued with interest, "but we don't know what."

"Is he single?" asked Ana.

"I don't like that you asked that." Jesse replied.

Hanzo watched as the tallest male picked two large flowers. After returning to his tribe, he gave one of the flowers to the oldest female.

"That's his mother." Winston explained.

The tallest male then gave the other flower to the shortest male, who ate it with a look of raw confusion.

More time passed. The tribe members continued about their daily activities, which were included but not limited to painting, making tools, penis fencing, and offering a newborn as a blood sacrifice.

"Why are they offering that newborn as a blood sacrifice?" asked Fareeha.

Winston looked at his clipboard.

"The religious order they follow once told of a devious red-haired spirit who reincarnates and brings ill-will." he answered. "They think it's a demon."

"This is exactly why religion's gotta be abolished." Morrison announced. "Turns people into morons."

"Ah, yes, religion is to blame." Ana replied.

"You know, I gotta ask." Jesse said to Winston quietly. "You've seen everything. What do you reckon is the most awful thing humankind has ever done?"

Winston had to think for less than a second before answering.

"Child stardom, hands down." Winston replied.

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"...Fair enough."

Another whistle sounded and the entire tribe began to make their lazy ways towards a fire pit. Hanzo only noticed then that the sun had started to set.

"What are these assholes doing now?" asked Morrison.

"They're having a culture night." Winston answered. "They take turns sharing any ideas they have about art or politics."

"What's she doing?" Hana asked as she pointed to a woman giving a speech.

"She appears to be proposing that they begin considering oral sex to be a sin."

"Why would she do that?"

"Twice, her friend had a heart attack during oral sex and almost died."

Hanzo groaned. After the woman finished, the shortest male walked onto the stage. He began to speak.

"What's he doing?" asked Hana.

"I believe he's attempting to convince them to advance their current cultural understanding of cause and effect." Winston explained. "He's explaining that just because we see one event and then another event later transpires, it does not mean that the second event is necessarily a cause of the first. It could be the other way around, or the two events may have even just been coincidentally tied."

Hanzo watched as the shortest male began to rub his forehead in frustration.

"The words he needs to express the concept haven't been invented yet." Winston continued.

"What's everyone else doing?" Fareeha asked.

"Um, they seem to be stoning him."

The village began tossing rocks at the shortest male. But just as he was about to get his head turned into a fine pink mush, the tallest male stepped forward and took a stand on the stage. After a deep breath, he began to speak.

The words were not in any language Hanzo could understand, but they were quite inspiring nonetheless. Hanzo watched as all the other villagers began to raise their eyebrows in thought.

"What are they doing now?" Hana asked.

"The town appears to be stoning both of them now." Winston answered.

After the stoning, the taller and shorter male were both sent on trial and set to be crucified come dawn for blasphemy. But in a thrilling conclusion, the two of them escaped together into the night.

"Oh, this happens a lot with those two in prehistoric times." said Winston.

"What usually...becomes of them?" Hanzo asked.

"If they're not eaten by wolves? They usually manage to run a fishing trade with several tribes. The, uh, shorter one is very good with business."

"What can you tell me of him? The short one."

Winston scratched his chin as he examined the humans before him.

"His behavior is extremely fascinating." Winston mumbled.

"Why's that?"

"It's difficult to explain. Do you remember when I said that for most people, it's about half nurture and half nature that ends up composing their character?"

"Yes."

"For him, it's more eighty percent nature and twenty percent nurture."

Hanzo squinted his eyes in thought.

"I see." Hanzo replied.

"He is very intelligent. But at the same time, he has an...issue with logical extremes. Especially if they are presented to him when he is young."

Hanzo couldn't relate at all.

"What about the tallest male?" he asked.

"Oh, the mama's boy?" Winston replied as he adjusted his glasses. "Are you familiar with displaced aggression?"

"I'm not."

"Displaced aggression is what happens when humans are treated poorly by someone or something that they can't retaliate against, so they take it out on someone else. Like a spouse or a food service worker."

"I understand."

"The most interesting thing about that one--"

Winston pointed to the tallest male.

"--is that he won't show any displaced aggression, no matter how horribly he is abused." he finished.

"...You said they are not sentient, correct?"

Winston shrugged.

"What does sentience mean, anyway?" he replied.

Hanzo examined the screen once again. The tribe members, save for the ones who'd been murdered and exiled, were all sitting around a large bonfire. The air seemed to be somber, somehow. As the oldest female stood and began to speak, everyone else began to touch each other. Some of them started to cry.

"What...what are they doing?" Ana asked.

Winston looked down at his clipboard.

"They lost a woman during childbirth." he answered. "They're mourning her."

As the tribe members began to each step forward and place a flower in a cup that presumably belonged to the dead mother, Ana was the first to burst into tears. And after Morrison, Hanzo was the first to leave.

"They're just like us." Fareeha sobbed with Hana and Jesse as Hanzo made his escape.

Outside the room of commotion, Hanzo made a silent agreement with Morrison to walk in separate directions. Hanzo ended up back in the observatory.

He sat in silence as he thought about what he'd just seen. For a different, more normal person, it might have upsetting as it was such an ethical nightmare. However, what Hanzo found himself stuck on was the way the early humans touched each other. They had touched each other constantly; while they spoke to each other, while they rested, and after sex. Remembering the sight filled Hanzo with a horrible ache of longing.

Footsteps on the ground behind him shook Hanzo from his thoughts. He didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

"Hey." Jesse greeted.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

"Mind if I join you?"

"I do not mind."

Hanzo stayed still as Jesse took a seat next to him. After pulling out a cigar and eyeing it with thought, Jesse put it back in his pocket with a frown.

"You doing alright?" asked Jesse.

"I'm doing well enough. It is you who I was worried for."

"Me?"

"All of your views on humanity have been rendered pathetically naive. How do you feel?"

Jesse's mouth fell open.

"Were we even watching the same simulation?" he asked.

"Apparently not." Hanzo replied.

Jesse closed his mouth and shook his head.

"They ain't evil, Hanzo." said Jesse. "You're crazy."

"I am perfectly sane."

"All that horrible stuff they did, it was always for a reason."

"A foolish reason."

"Yeah, but it's not cause they're evil."

Hanzo gave Jesse a look of question.

"They're just really, really dumb." Jesse finished.

"How is that different?" asked Hanzo.

Jesse sighed and shook his head.

"It's like you understand what they don't understand but you can't understand why they don't understand it." he said.

"What does that mean?" Hanzo replied.

"It means that people volunteer at suicide prevention help lines. They volunteer at fucking cat shelters. And when they sign up for the military and get it hammered in that the Russians or Chinese or commies they're fighting are actual demons, they still have a real hard time killing them."

Jesse took a breath.

"And you know what else?" he continued.

"What."

"They don't burn witches no more."

Hanzo shot Jesse a look of confusion.

"What?" Jesse asked.

"They never burned witches. That was the problem."

"You know what I meant."

"No, I don't. I'd assume you are implying that we've grown as a species, but it is likely that we're still doing many things that are just as damaging to society as witch trials."

Jesse sighed. Still, he stayed at Hanzo's side until the rest of the crew returned.


	12. (interlude)

## Hanzo Shimada and Satya Vaswani's List of Illegal Things

  1. outdoor music festivals of a traditional beatnik theme

  2. abstract art

  3. non-unisex bathrooms

  4. getting offended by swear words 

  5. not being an organ donor

  6. believing in Santa Claus

  7. clowns

  8. eating contests

  9. uncontacted tribes

  10. standing in clumps on the sidewalk

  11. the discrimination of sexuality, ethnicity, concepts such as trans or intersexuality, and/or any other social causes not yet arisen 

  12. the celebration of sexuality, ethnicity, concepts such as trans or intersexuality, and/or any other social causes not yet arisen 

  13. giving birth without pain killer

  14. Buzzfeed
  15. crime





	13. compartmentalize this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided to post this whole work because honestly I kinda feel like I overstayed my welcome in this fandom anyway enjoy

_April 15th, 2077_

The meeting room was silent as Hanzo took a seat next to Ana. On the other side of the table, Angela and Morrison sat quietly.

"It should be coming it any minute now." said Morrison.

Talon ended up being four minutes late with the transmission, which gave Hanzo more than enough time to listen to his heart pound against his ears. Finally, the projector screen flickered on.

"Do we have sound?" Angela asked in a frantic tone.

"Yes, we have sound." Morrison replied as the picture flickered into view.

Hanzo's heart began to pound faster when he saw that it was Jesse in frame. Jesse from the waist up was just about all that could be seen, save for the grimy background of a holding cell. It had been less than a day, but he looked like he'd been living in a hole for weeks. His prosthetic arm was gone, and he'd been obviously beaten.

His left iris was a shocking yellow that screamed surgery.

"Can he see us?" asked Ana.

"No, they're not accepting our return transmission." Angela replied.

"Wait, he's starting to talk."

Ana was right. In a rough, abused voice, Jesse began to speak of how Overwatch was a weak, misguided organization and would do nothing to prevent the inevitability of Talon's victory. He spoke of how he was happy to be a part of Talon now, and how he was happy to be apart of their "psychological upgrade" program. He said that he was also happy to have lost his eye, as it had been replaced with one superior, and he was looking forward to losing every other part of himself as well.

For a moment, Hanzo wondered why Jesse hadn't just bitten the pill in his arm. His question was answered when he noticed a red-stained bandage over Jesse's shoulder, indicating that it had been ripped out.

Hanzo watched the transmission in silence. He searched both the background and Jesse's cues for any signal or indication of where the transmission might be coming from, but found nothing.

Lastly, Jesse made it clear that Talon was not interested in making any trades, even for Moira. He explained that Gabriel Reyes was excited to be working with him again.

Only when the transmission had finished did Hanzo realize he and Morrison were the only ones left in the room.

"Well." Morrison stated.

Hanzo said nothing.

"The whole thing was recorded." Morrison followed. "I'll have it sent off to be studied. Maybe Winston's friends can pick something out and give us an idea of where he is."

Morrison's idea was little more than an act of desperation, but Hanzo was unable to think of anything better. On numb feet, Hanzo left the room as he was once again hit with the realization that there was nothing he could do.

* * *

* * *

_October 26th, 2076_

"Furthermore, children will be ranked regarding their respective abilities to reason logically, as well as their understanding of the concepts of relative and subjective value." Hanzo continued to Satya. "These rankings will be continued throughout adulthood, and will determine both social status and ranking position within the government--"

Hanzo was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Satya raised an eyebrow. Hanzo gave her an apologetic glance as he stood up from the table. He barely remembered to cover his naked body in a robe as he opened the door.

Moira was on the other side.

"Hello." she greeted.

Hanzo looked at his phone to see that it was only eight thirty.

"I thought we'd agreed on nine." he stated.

"My apologies." Moira replied. "I must have mixed it up."

"It's alright. You may come in now if you'd like."

With an uncertain expression, Moira stepped inside. After closing the door and returning to the table, Hanzo slipped off his robe and folded it neatly.

"Oh." Moira said as she ran her eyes over him and Satya. "I was unaware you two were liberals."

"Why is Moira here?" Jesse asked from his spot on the couch.

"Why am I here? Why are you here?"

"I feel morally obligated to know what--"

Jesse pointed to Hanzo and Satya.

"--these two are planning." he finished with dead eyes.

"In any case, I suspect you are not happy to see me." Moira replied.

"Not at all. With this dress code, I've been needing something to keep me from getting wood."

"...And I see I've come a little too late."

Hanzo watched as Jesse crossed his legs with an uncomfortable expression.

"Why the hell would you point that out?" he muttered to Moira.

"Why would you bait me to look?"

Satya cleared her throat.

"Might we continue?" she asked.

Moira and Jesse both fell silent. Moira took a seat next to Jesse on the couch.

Over the next half hour, Hanzo and Satya managed to get through an entire two regulations regarding social status and how to properly urge children to do better in school while Jesse did his best to curb his twitching eyebrow. Once they'd finished, Satya packed up the folders.

"May I make a comment?" asked Moira.

"I would not mind." Satya replied. "Would you mind, Hanzo?"

"I would not mind either." Hanzo stated.

"Very well." Moira continued. "I appreciate both the material you propose to teach and the pressure you wish to put on student performance. It's about time we place actual consequences on ignorance."

"Hmm." Satya nodded. "Thank you. Did you have an opinion, Jesse?"

Jesse looked very unsure as to why he was being asked.

"You gonna hurt me if I say something you don't like?" Jesse questioned.

"I'm planning nothing sinister, but I suppose it could happen."

With a shrug, Jesse opened his mouth.

"Guess I'll go ahead then." he said. "I, uh, I think ya'll are expecting a little too much out of kids."

"The material?" Satya asked.

"No, the material's actually pretty good, cept for the...history stuff. I reckon all information outta be available to everyone."

"I would not go _that_ far..." Hanzo mumbled.

"Really?" Moira replied. "I would."

"You would?"

"If all information is available to everyone, the most intelligent will most easily be able to seize control."

"We are getting off track." Satya cut in. "Jesse, please finish your thought."

Jesse nodded.

"What I was gonna say is that I think the material's pretty good." he continued. "But I reckon kids just gotta go at their own pace."

Hanzo scoffed.

"What's so wrong with pressure?" asked Hanzo. "I was pushed to unattainable levels of greatness."

"And you are a--deeply tortured man." Jesse replied.

"A small price to pay..."

Moira cleared her throat.

"I only find your friendship with the cowboy more intriguing now that I know how frightened he is by Eastern philosophy." she stated.

Hanzo let out a low snicker, as did Satya. Jesse raised an eyebrow.

"Hell's that mean?" Jesse asked.

"Your hesitations towards academic pressure indicate, by extension, a hesitation towards Eastern philosophies." Hanzo replied with a wide smile. "Tell me, are you frightened by the Japanese?"

Jesse blinked.

"Pardon?" he asked.

"Are you frightened by how the Japanese school their children?"

Suddenly horrified, Jesse scratched the back of his head.

"I am simply amused and curious." Hanzo followed. "I will not--"

"I got a hunch that what happened to you had more to do with the Yakuza than you being from Japan." Jesse interrupted.

"That's not what he asked, you dusty ignoramus." said Moira.

"...I think Japan's got a better system than America."

"You sound like you're speaking to a child."

As he continued to rub the back of his head, Jesse started to stare down at the floor.

"I find it a little disturbing, yes." he admitted.

Hanzo nodded.

"I ain't saying I think they're evil," Jesse quickly followed, "or that--"

"No one thought you were saying that." Hanzo cut in.

"But it does feel to me like...the culture puts a lot of--uh, conditions on if people should be considered--worthy."

Early on in his friendship with Jesse, Hanzo had learned that Jesse considered even mild critique of non-European cultures to be extremely rude. Hanzo could not fathom why.

"Look, I don't know anything about it." Jesse continued in a ramble. "And I ain't never been there, so I'm prolly just talking out my--"

"You do not have to apologize for answering my question." Hanzo interrupted.

"Why did you ask me that?"

"I'm not sure."

"Why do you believe putting pressure on children is harmful?" asked Sayta.

"I think too much makes kids wanna shoot themselves in the head." Jesse answered.

"Do you value self-worth over intelligence?" Moira asked.

"I dunno. But I do believe there's a way to educate kids real good without doing--what I see as damaging them."

"And what way is that?"

Jesse's eyebrows came together in thought.

"I think little kids just naturally wanna soak up information." Jesse started. "That's what their brains are supposed to do, right? So I reckon we should have a bunch of information available, and let them come at it at whatever pace or style they want."

"And you believe that most of the children would simply neglect collecting this information in favor of playing 16 Bit Hero and eating mud?" asked Satya.

"I can't say for sure. I'm just giving you my best guess."

Leaning forward, Moira set her chin on her fist.

"I'd always assumed those against academic pressure simply wished for stupidity to be celebrated." she mused. "But you truly believe scholastic anarchy would provide more utility?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it anarchy..." Jesse replied.

"What was your schooling like?" asked Satya.

"They weren't nothing to learn. But we sure did still have to sit there."

"What educated you, if not school?"

"Magic School Bus."

The following twenty minutes that transpired were not anything like Hanzo had been planning. Satya expressed interest in seeing Magic School Bus, and Jesse led all four of them to the couch after pirating some old episodes on Hanzo's computer.

"So this is really the program that provided all of your knowledge of science until age thirty?" Moira asked.

"Uhuh." Jesse replied as he shoved a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

As he ate, Jesse's arm drove further into Hanzo's side, which shoved Hanzo farther into Satya's side.

They were cramped up together on the couch. Hanzo had claimed that the rightmost cushion on his couch was too unstable for them to space out for more room.

Hanzo had lied.

As he adjusted the blanket Jesse had made him wear like a toga before agreeing to sit next to him, Hanzo turned his attention back to the monitor where a cowardly and mediocre child named Arnold was trying to weasel out of getting shrunken down and sent into Ralphie's nervous system.

"Arnold is clearly the most inferior child." Satya announced. "If I gave birth to Arnold, I would refrain from ever breeding again with my current mate."

Hanzo nodded in agreement. Arnold fucking sucked.

"If I gave birth to Arnold, I'd put him back." Moira replied. "He clearly wasn't done."

"Ah, why would you say that?" asked Jesse as Hanzo started to laugh.

"To give you the image."

"You're disgusting. And besides, I think ya'll are being unfair. Arnold might not be the best, but he's got something the rest don't."

"And what is that?" Moira asked.

"He's relatable to the common man. That a crime?"

"Absolutely." Hanzo answered. "Relatability to the common man is a loathsome trait."

"Gee, I wonder why Hanzo's self-image is so bad."

Moira chuckled for a moment before cutting herself off.

"I can't believe I laughed at that..." she mumbled.

After just a few episodes, Satya had to go back home to prepare for work in the morning. And Jesse had to go to Somalia with Fareeha to assassinate a world leader. Even though Moira hadn't gotten to talk about any science, she still seemed content enough as Hanzo and Satya put their clothes back on.

"Will you be joining us next time, Jesse?" asked Satya.

"Uh," Jesse replied, "I ain't so sure about that. This was fun and all, but I don't know if I can take the politics."

"You could join us after we conclude our writing session."

Jesse shot Satya a side glance of confusion. Hanzo was unsure as to why.

"I'm certain McCree will come." said Moira. "After all, Hanzo will be there."

This time, Hanzo gave Moira a side glance of confusion. Jesse, on the other hand, stared straight ahead with wide eyes as he made his way out the door.

Wanting to be polite, Hanzo walked Moira to her door after everyone else had left.

"May I ask you something before you go?" Moira questioned when they arrived outside her quarters.

"What is it?" Hanzo asked back.

"How does your friendship work with the cowboy? Please pardon me for saying, but you seem like a much more reasonable person than him."

Hanzo smiled to himself before answering.

"I am granted deep enjoyment from the things he says and he seems to enjoy the things I say." he replied.

"Perhaps there is nothing more you need." said Moira.

"And I find the way he dresses, speaks, and acts to be deeply arousing."

"...Interesting choice."

"Sexually arousing, I mean."

"I'd assumed."

With a little bow, Hanzo left Moira's door.

"I will see you next week." he said as he walked.

"Very well."

As soon as Hanzo got back to his quarters, he shut the door behind him and sighed. Unfortunately, his conversation with Moira had reminded him of one of his unmet needs.

Throughout his adult life, Hanzo'd had a rule for himself about orgasming at least once a month for prostate health and overall mood. Besides true love, world conquest, and drugs that were not worth it to always be on, he considered climaxing to be the ultimate state of elation.

That being said, he hadn't come in well over a year. It had been starting to take a toll on him. He knew he should probably start masturbating, but had found himself unable to justify taking ten minutes out of his day for his own pleasure.

It didn't help that Jesse and his collection of tight pants was quickly becoming Hanzo's best friend.

So for the moment, Hanzo opted to multitask. First, he tried masturbating while he bathed, but had quickly found the sensation of touching himself underwater to be unpleasant. Next, he tried doing it while he cleaned the dishes, but quit after breaking two cups. Finally, he tried masturbating while he did post-mission paperwork, but found himself unable to keep an erection.

Eventually, Hanzo did the adult thing of giving up and going to bed early.

Hanzo didn't see Jesse again until the following afternoon, after he'd returned from Somalia smelling strongly of sea water. They bumped into each other in the breakroom during Hanzo's noon quest for tea, although the room was also accompanied by Lena and Zenyatta.

Zenyatta hadn't said it out loud, but Hanzo could tell he'd taken a special interest in him. Hanzo could often feel Zenyatta's unblinking eyes on him, and the present was no exception. Hanzo did his best drink his tea in silence at the table and pretend not to notice.

"Ugh!" Lena said as she slapped her phone against the table hard enough to make Jesse jump.

"What's wrong?" asked Jesse.

Without a word, Lena unlocked her phone and slid it over to Jesse. Hanzo read the news article she'd been looking at over Jesse's shoulder.

The article was about a poll that had been taken in England regarding omnic rights. According to the poll, approximately forty-five percent the human population of England was against an omnic's right to vote and make public oil changes.

"Why does this trouble you?" Hanzo asked.

"Why does it trouble me?" Lena replied, her mouth gaping in shock. "Half the people in my country have a pile of dung where their heart ought to be!"

"I don't think that's really fair, Lena." said Jesse. "That's a lotta people you're writing off."

"It's fifty million people. Compared to nine billion."

"But English people ain't different creatures from anybody else. So you end up writing off half of everyone."

"How can you make excuses for bigotry."

Hanzo scoffed.

"Oh." Lena snapped. "You don't agree?"

Thinking quickly, Hanzo pulled up a map of England on his phone.

"It's considered a simple fact that people who were born and raised in big cities," Hanzo started, "such as here and here--"

Hanzo zoomed into the map of England and pointed to select areas on it.

"--have a much higher likelihood than those who live in more agrarian, economically depressed areas to be for the concept of omnic equality. If inherent character was all that went into the development of values, people of differing ideologies would be defused in an even layer throughout your country. But that's not the case." he finished.

"So what are you saying, then, that life's just one big game of chance?" asked Lena.

"Absolutely. The poor may make exclusively bad decisions and smell of feces, but they are that way circumstantially."

Lena frowned.

"Values are very...circumstantial." Hanzo followed.

Hanzo, along with Lena and Jesse, was shaken at the sound of a mechanical melody. It took Hanzo a moment and a glace to his side to realize the sound was Zenyatta laughing.

"What?" Hanzo asked. "What is it?"

"It is just...I agree with you." Zenyatta replied. "But you say that as if it is a horrible, monstrous thing."

"Is it not?"

"No. To me, that is what makes humanity so redeemable."

Lena and Jesse shared a quick glance.

"And how do you reason that?" asked Hanzo.

"I am unsure how to explain it." Zenyatta admitted.

"It's like," Jesse started, pointing at Hanzo, "you're saying that good people could've been bad, but he's saying that bad people could've been good."

"I'm not speaking of good and evil. What I'm speaking of is the selfishness I see in the measures humans go to in an attempt to preserve their own ridiculous world views." Hanzo replied.

"I do not consider that to be selfish." said Zenyatta.

"You don't consider it selfish for people to value ideological preservation over than learning what's truly best for society?"

"I believe it to be more complex than that."

"Explain yourself."

"I suspect that you possess, and quite innately so, a certain globalistic wisdom. However, what you do not possess is the ability to understand that such wisdom does not come so innately to others."

Hanzo wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean or what it had to do with anything they were talking about.

"I fail to understand what you mean, or what it has to do with our discussion." Hanzo replied.

"That is alright."

"Hmm?"

"I will see you all later. I must be going."

With a wave goodbye, Zenyatta left his seat at the table.

Hanzo wasn't completely sure what it was that urged him to chase Zenyatta out the door, but whatever it was, it was strong.

"You wanna follow him, don't you?" Jesse asked.

"...Yes." Hanzo replied.

"But you're scared to."

"I don't want to lose the opportunity to spend time with you."

Jesse chuckled to himself for a moment.

"Go on." he urged. "I'll meet you outside his door in an hour."

With a nod, Hanzo took off. By the time he got to the hall, he was just in time to see Zenyatta turn the corner to the crew quarters.

Hanzo continued to follow. He got to Zenyatta's door right as it closed. Desperately, he knocked at it.

When it opened, Zenyatta didn't look particularly surprised to see him.

"Tell me what you think of me." Hanzo ordered.

Zenyatta said nothing, only gestured for Hanzo to come in.

With a little grunt, Hanzo complied. Once he'd entered, Zenyatta took a seat on one side of the decorative rug.

Hanzo quickly ran his eyes over Zenyatta's quarters to see they were decorated in the same style as his place in Nepal had been, be it less extravagantly.

"Tell me what you think of me." Hanzo repeated.

Zenyatta folded his hands in his lap.

"Sit, and I will tell you." he replied.

With another grunt, Hanzo sat down on the rug.

"I think that you were born a very critical and motivated person, which is not a bad thing." Zenyatta answered. "But I suspect your nature mixed poorly with your upbringing, where you were pushed harshly by your mother to reach a level of physicality and intellectualism which is...radically unattainable. Even though she is with you no longer, you still struggle to reach this point and it is only perpetuated by the guilt from the attempted murder of your brother."

Hanzo chuckled darkly.

"That is the whole point." he replied. "I must strive for something impossible if I wish to be the best I can be. If I aimed for something possible, I'd have the excuse to stop when I got there."

Zenyatta produced a sound that almost sounded like a scoff.

"No." said Zenyatta. "That is how you live in a perpetual state of self-dissatisfaction, not greatness."

"Those are not mutually exclusive. In fact, I believe they enable each other." Hanzo explained.

"What if I told you that you could still train and think as hard as you do now, but without living in a perpetual state of self-dissatisfaction?"

"I would call you a fool."

"What if, instead of creating for yourself a system in which you strive for something impossible to avoid ever achieving your goal, you simply lived by a system of smaller, incremental goals?"

Nearly against his own volition, Hanzo's eyebrow raised.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"You wish to avoid getting to a point where you draw an end to bettering yourself? You could just as easily avoid that point by creating more goals for yourself once you reached the ones prior to it." Zenyatta answered. "But these goals would be obtainable. Do you understand?"

"Why would I do that?"

"So that you could feel a moment of satisfaction with each small goal you completed before you moved onto the next. My concern does not lie with how much you would like to work. You are a very high functioning person, and that is fine. What my concern does lie with, however, is how you seem to believe you must make every moment of life pure torture for yourself."

Hanzo didn't reply.

"The only thing keeping you from peace is that which is in your own mind." Zenyatta continued. "You could live your life as you do now, but in a state of contentedness with yourself rather than hatred. You are a remarkable person, so there is much for you to feel content with."

Everything Zenyatta had said made rational sense. Still, there was something that he was missing.

"I don't deserve it." Hanzo replied.

"What do you mean?"

"I do not deserve satisfaction."

"Why not?"

Squeezing his eyes shut, Hanzo was forced to think about it for a moment.

"I must atone for my sins." he answered. "As a boy and young man, I was blinded by my family's empire. I thought them to be competent, but they were not. It cost me my brother's life, at my own hands."

"And you must punish yourself for that?"

"If I don't, who will? It is my duty."

Zenyatta took a moment to reply. Hanzo set his jaw.

"Why is it moral for you be so hard on yourself?" Zenyatta finally asked.

"Because I am loathsome." Hanzo replied.

"Why are you loathsome?"

"I tried to kill my brother."

"There were many factors that went into the attempted murder of your brother. What you did to him was circumstantial."

"All fault is circumstantial."

"Then why do you find yourself loathsome?"

"Because although fault is circumstantial, it will still come to some at a higher statistical likelihood than others. Those who have higher dispositions towards fault are usually cruel of heart. I am prone to fault, so it must be because I am a cruel man."

"You were a man born into blood." Zenyatta answered. "You did not try to kill your brother for sport. You tried to kill him because you believed it was the right thing to do."

"Then I have very poor judgement. I should have questioned my ideologies."

"Why should you have questioned your ideologies?"

"It's selfish not to do so."

"Why is it selfish?"

Hanzo surprised himself with the sudden urge to start sobbing. Still, he ignored it easily.

"It is selfish to value the conservation of a circumstantially acquired set of morals in favor of obliterating self bias and obtaining as much knowledge as possible regardless of how it affects pre-existing assumptions." he answered.

"So why did you not question your ideologies?" asked Zenyatta.

"Because I am selfish."

"But what was your motivation behind this selfishness?"

Hanzo squeezed his eyes shut.

"I was afraid of exile." he replied. "I was afraid of finding that my entire set of ideologies, and in turn, my actions, were all counter-productive. I did not realize it, but I was more concerned with my own survival than anything else."

"I am beginning to suspect that the reason you find yourself to be morally reprehensible is because you fail to spend every moment in altruistic pursuit." Zenyatta mused.

"...I suppose so."

"Productivity is your ethical code, correct?"

"Yes."

"Either it is more productive to spend every moment in self-sacrifice for an ethical cause, or it is not." Zenyatta stated. "Do you agree?"

"Yes." Hanzo answered.

"If you were to spend every moment in radical self-sacrifice, you would perish in less than a week due to heat exhaustion or famine. Do you agree?"

"...Yes."

"Therefore, it must be less productive not to spend every moment in self-sacrifice for an ethical cause."

Hanzo grit his teeth.

"I cannot argue." he replied.

"Therefore, your reasoning behind finding yourself to be morally reprehensible for failing to spend every moment in altruistic pursuit is irrational."

Hanzo said nothing.

"I agree with you that it was, by technical definition, selfish for you to act in favor of self-conservation rather than maximizing morality." Zenyatta followed. "But it also would have been a near impossible feat to have done so. Human beings are born with their eyes closed. For their first few years, and for some, their whole lives, their choices are dictated by subconscious reasoning they cannot trace rather than conscious thought process."

"Mmh." Hanzo replied.

"You must understand the limitations of your species. And you must understand the limitations of yourself. To do otherwise would be to attempt to defy physics."

"I can't understand the limitations."

"Why?"

"I do not deserve to. Stop trying to convince me to accept myself as I am, or to tell me that I am doing this world anything but a morally reprehensible disservice by not ending myself as I should."

Zenyatta sighed.

"You are refusing to accept logic." he said. "You are fighting me, and we are going in circles."

Before Hanzo could even open his mouth to reply, Zenyatta took a quick detour over to his bag. When he opened a side compartment, a familiar, earthy scent filled the room. Hanzo watched as Zenyatta pulled out a small bong.

"I was not aware we were going to have this kind of session." Hanzo said as Zenyatta filled the bong with water from the sink.

Zenyatta didn't reply. He went back for his bag and loaded a bowl.

"Smoke this." Zenyatta said as he presented the bong and a lighter to Hanzo.

"Is it just marijuana?"

"Yes."

Hanzo wasn't sure why he was being given weed but he couldn't come up with any reason not to accept free drugs. The bong was a simple thing, and Hanzo figured out how to use it quickly. He even managed not to cough too much as he sucked in the smoke from the smoke chamber.

"Oh." Hanzo said.

"Yes, I have been told it hits fast."

While Hanzo took another hit, Zenyatta left the living room and disappeared from sight. When he returned, he was lugging along the large pad of paper and a stand he always used during Moira's interrogation sessions.

"Why am I doing drugs?" Hanzo asked.

"I wanted you to smoke because I wanted to decrease your short-term memory capabilities."

"Why?"

"Because I believe it will make you--"

Zenyatta cut himself off as he extended the legs of the stand and forced it upright.

"--less resistant to what I am about to do." he finished.

Hanzo took his last hit while Zenyatta placed the paper pad on the stand and faced it towards Hanzo. Hanzo put the bong down.

"Do you remember why you came over here?" Zenyatta asked.

"...I wanted...I wanted...to...uhhhhhh."

"Perfect."

Hanzo watched as Zenyatta pulled out a pen and began to write in lines on the paper pad. Hanzo quickly recognized the lines and symbolic logic variables, although he was very unsure as to what or why.

"Examine these." Zenyatta said as he stepped away from the pad. "Try to remember them, although you do not have to."

Hanzo complied. He read the information on the pad.

_Fx- x fulfills its needs to live_  
_Lx- x is living (rather than deceased)_  
_Mx- x maximizes altruism_  
_Ex- x strives to be ethical_  
_Px- x is a person_  
_Ax- x accepts they are worthy of living_

"I've read them." he told Zenyatta.

"Very good." Zenyatta replied. "I am now going to give you a set of premises, one at a time. You tell me if you agree on each one. Understood?"

"Yes."

"Number one. For any person who strives to be ethical, they must maximize their altruism. Do you agree?"

"Yes."

"Of course you do. That is your most fundamentally held belief."

Zenyatta wrote **1\. (x) [(Px * Ex) - > Mx]** on the board under his definitions.

"If a person actively maximizes their altruism," Zenyatta continued, "they must obviously be alive, rather than dead. Do you agree?"

"Yes."

Zenyatta nodded and wrote **2\. (x) (Mx - > Lx)** under the first line.

"If a person is alive, then they are meeting their basic needs. Do you agree?"

"Yes."

"A person meets their basic needs if and only if they accept they are worthy of living. Do you agree?"

"Generally."

Zenyatta nodded again. He stepped away from his work, allowing Hanzo to observe the entire board.

_Fx- x fulfills its needs to live_  
_Lx- x is living (rather than deceased)_  
_Mx- x maximizes altruism_  
_Ex- x strives to be ethical_  
_Px- x is a person_  
_Ax- x accepts they are worthy of living_

  1. _(x) [(Px * Ex) - > Mx]_
  2. _(x) (Mx - > Lx)_
  3. _(x) (Lx- >Fx) _
  4. _(x) (Fx <->Ax)_



"Do you agree that all this information was translated properly?" Zenyatta asked after Hanzo had taken a long look.

"...Yes. It is valid." Hanzo replied.

"Very good. Watch me work."

Hanzo complied as Zenyatta picked his pen back up.

"Do you find this information to be accurate?" Zenyatta asked as he stepped away again.

_Fx- x fulfills its needs to live_  
_Lx- x is living (rather than deceased)_  
_Mx- x maximizes altruism_  
_Ex- x strives to be ethical_  
_Px- x is a person_  
_Ax- x accepts they are worthy of living_

  1. _(x) [(Px * Ex) - > Mx]_
  2. _(x) (Mx - > Lx)_
  3. _(x) (Lx- >Fx)_
  4. _(x) (Fx <->Ax) :. (x)[(Px*Ex) -> Ax]_


  1. _(Pa*Ea)- > Ma 1, Universal Instantiation_
  2. _Ma- >La 2, Universal Instantiation_
  3. _La- >Fa 3, Universal Instantiation_
  4. _Fa <->Aa 4, Universal Instantiation_
  5. _(Fa- >Aa)*(Aa->Fa) 8, Material Equivalence_
  6. _Fa- >Aa_
  7. _**Pa*Ea Assume (begin Conditional Proof)**_
  8. _**Ma 5,11, Modus Ponens**_
  9. _**La 6,12, Modus Ponens**_
  10. _**Fa 7,13, Modus Ponens**_
  11. _**Aa 10,14, Modus Ponens**_
  12. _(Pa*Ea)- >Aa 11-15, Conditional Proof_
  13. _(x)[(Px*Ex) - >Ax] 16, Universal generalization_



Due to his state, Hanzo was unable to conceptualize the entire argument. However, every individual part he examined was logical.

"Yes." he told Zenyatta.

"Tell me. Can you translate the conclusion for me?"

The conclusion was **(x)[(Px*Ex) - > Ax]**. Hanzo darted his eyes between it and the symbol key.

"If x is both a person and x strives to be ethical, x must accept that they are worthy of living." Hanzo answered.

"Precisely." Zenyatta replied. "I have a few more premises for you to swallow. Are you prepared?"

Hanzo looked down into his lap.

"Yes." he replied.

"Firstly. Is Hanzo a person?" Zenyatta asked.

"Yes."

"Does Hanzo strive to be ethical?"

"He is not always successful."

"But does he strive for it?"

"...Yes."

Zenyatta began to write on the board again, but he blocked his work with his body.

"Good." Zenyatta said as he scrawled furiously. "Now, because Hanzo is a person, and because Hanzo strives to be ethical, that qualifies Hanzo as a suitable candidate for the variable x, does it not?"

"Yes."

"So in that case, you can not argue with this?"

_Fx- x fulfills its needs to live_  
_Lx- x is living (rather than deceased)_  
_Mx- x maximizes altruism_  
_Ex- x strives to be ethical_  
_Px- x is a person_  
_Ax- x accepts they are worthy of living_

  1. _(x) [(Px * Ex) - > Mx]_
  2. _(x) (Mx - > Lx)_
  3. _(x) (Lx- >Fx)_
  4. _(x) (Fx <->Ax) :. (x)[(Px*Ex) -> Ax]_


  1. _(Pa*Ea)- > Ma 1, Universal Instantiation_
  2. _Ma- >La 2, Universal Instantiation_
  3. _La- >Fa 3, Universal Instantiation_
  4. _Fa <->Aa 4, Universal Instantiation_
  5. _(Fa- >Aa)*(Aa->Fa) 8, Material Equivalence_
  6. _Fa- >Aa_
  7. _**Pa*Ea Assume (begin Conditional Proof)**_
  8. _**Ma 5,11, Modus Ponens**_
  9. _**La 6,12, Modus Ponens**_
  10. _**Fa 7,13, Modus Ponens**_
  11. _**Aa 10,14, Modus Ponens**_
  12. _(Pa*Ea)- >Aa 11-15, Conditional Proof_
  13. _(x)[(Px*Ex) - >Ax] 16, Universal generalization_


  1. _Hanzo (h) is a person  
_
  2. __Hanzo strives to be ethical_ _  
__
  3. ___x=h  
___
  4. ____:.{(x)[(Px*Ex) - >Ax]} ->{(h)[(Ph*Eh) ->Ah]} Universal Instantiation  
____
  5. ____(z)[(Px*Ex) - >Ax]  
____
  6. ____:.(h)[(Ph*Eh) - >Ah]____



"I cannot argue." Hanzo replied after he'd finished reading.

"In that case, can you translate the new conclusion for me?"

The new conclusion was **(h)[(Ph*Eh) - > Ah]**. It was the same as the last conclusion, expect that Hanzo was the primary variable.

"If Hanzo is a person, and if Hanzo strives to be ethical, Hanzo must accept he is worthy of living." Hanzo said.

"And because Hanzo is a person, and because Hanzo strives to be ethical, what conclusion does that give us?"

Unable to answer, Hanzo choked.

"Very well, I will tell you." Zenyatta followed. "In conclusion to your own premises, Hanzo must accept that he is worthy of living."

Hanzo burst into tears.

"You are a very rational person." Zenyatta continued, the words slow. "No one will deny this. But what you must understand is that these thoughts you have, that you are not worthy of living or that you are beyond redemption, were not originally conclusions to arguments. These were thoughts you had and built flimsy arguments around to justify and then compartmentalized away from the rest of your mind."

 _"How?"_ Hanzo sobbed. _"How could I be worthy of life?"_

"Many reasons. It is physically impossible for a person to always defy their own inherent ignorance--"

Zenyatta began to count on his fingers.

"--and person cannot always work in self-sacrifice, as they would perish of famine in mere days. A person should not consider negative past behavior to always be a deterministic indication of future negative behavior. Loving yourself increases productivity." he finished.

" _But...why?_ "

"Which do you find to be a more approachable motivator? That you are fundamentally broken and unworthy of love and must change? Or that you should change, but that everything is going to be alright?"

Hanzo found himself unable to reply through his choked wailing. Everything Zenyatta was saying was too impossible to conceive of. And even as his tears blurred the symbols on the pad, they reached out to him and burrowed in his brain, mockingly so.

"You killed your brother because you believed it to be the right thing to do." Zenyatta continued. "You later realized it was not the right thing to do, and that your approach to evaluating what the right thing to do was flawed and mildly egotistical. None of this is what makes a person irredeemable. This is what makes a person human. Nothing negative would come upon the rest of society if you were happy."

A buzzer sounded.

"That is the end of the hour." said Zenyatta as he tore the top sheet of paper from the pad. "Take this."

Hanzo was handed a large sheet of paper. He wiped his eyes on the corner.

"You are to study this argument methodically." Zenyatta followed as he helped Hanzo stand. "I want you to ingrain it into your mind."

Still sobbing, Hanzo hid his face and nodded. To his surprise, he found himself being seated at the couch near the door.

"There is someone here." Zenyatta stated. "Wait here."

Hanzo did his best to muffle his cries with a cushion as Zenyatta cracked the door open and began to speak with whoever was behind it. Hanzo quickly realized it was Jesse from the tone.

He'd forgotten he'd agreed to meet Jesse.

Hanzo wasn't able to pick up most of their conversation, as both Zenyatta and Jesse had chosen to speak quietly, but he managed to pick out bits and pieces.

"... _meeting him here...leave if you._.." Zenyatta mumbled. " _...high state of emotional vul..._ "

 _"...can hear..._ " Jesse whispered.

_"...are you comfortable...fragile..."_

_"...pleasure long as he's alright with..."_

_"...will ask."_

Zenyatta closed the door. Hanzo immediately stopped trying to mop up his tears with the decorative fabric hanging over Zenyatta's couch.

"McCree is here for you." said Zenyatta.

" _Mmh._ " Hanzo replied.

"Are you alright with being around him, or would you prefer to be alone?"

" _Whatever...whatever he wishes._ "

"Very well. I will send him in."

Hanzo shoved his face back into the pillow as Zenyatta returned to the door and opened it back up. When Jesse stepped inside, Hanzo tightened his grip on the large sheet of paper in his hand.

"Hey, how's it going, pardner?" Jesse asked.

Although he couldn't see Jesse's face, Hanzo could tell Jesse was smiling. As to why, Hanzo had no idea.

"You want help up?" Jesse followed after Hanzo didn't reply.

Hanzo nodded that he did. He felt so exhausted that he didn't know if he could have ever moved without Jesse's hands guiding him up by the forearms. At first, Hanzo kept the pillow over his face, but quickly replaced it with Jesse's chest when he was cradled into it.

"Are your quarters near?" Zenyatta asked Jesse.

"Yeah, just a few doors down. You ready Hanzo?"

Hanzo nodded again. He did his best to keep his face buried in the fabric of Jesse's flannel. Jesse had to half-drag him out the door, but Hanzo was content with that.

"I will see you at the same time next Thursday, Hanzo." Zenyatta ordered before he shut the door behind them.

Hanzo wasn't sure if he could handle himself.

Jesse was silent as he led them down the hall to his door. Hanzo did his best to stop making noise, in fear of drawing any attention to himself from anyone who happened to be nearby.

"Hang on, just gotta..." Jesse mumbled as he punched in the code for his room.

Hanzo resumed sobbing as he was led into a familiar living room. He kept his fist clenched around the paper as he was maneuvered over to the couch and up against Jesse's left side.

Quickly, Hanzo curled himself into a ball and held onto Jesse's chest for dear life. Jesse tossed his metal arm over Hanzo's shoulders.

"You wanna talk about it?" asked Jesse.

Hanzo replied with a string of incoherent syllables as he thrust Zenyatta's paper at Jesse.

"Uhuh." Jesse said as he took it. "Zenyatta wrote down a bunch of nonsense, and it made you cry. I get it."

Hanzo was unsure how he was going to explain the contents of the paper to Jesse. He settled on waiting a minute or two until he was finally able to compose himself.

Jesse still held him even when he was done shaking. Keeping his body curled, Hanzo twisted around a hundred and eighty degrees so that he could rest his head on Jesse's shoulder without having to look him in the eye.

"You do not have to continue touching me if it is bringing you discomfort." Hanzo managed.

"Nah, I don't mind." Jesse replied. "I like to touch."

"Really."

"Yeah. Little starved for it, if I'm being honest."

"...You?"

"Ain't everybody?"

Hanzo's eyes squinted in skepticism.

"You ain't never noticed how the waitlist for meet and greet missions in Eastern Europe is fifteen names long?" Jesse followed.

With a rough chuckle, Hanzo shook his head no.

"I suppose I should have realized." he mumbled.

Jesse didn't reply. Hanzo let his eyes fall closed.

The feeling of Jesse's arm wrapped around him was like nothing he'd experienced in years. And the pleasure was only amplified with the fact that he'd longed for it so radically.

"You like being touched?" asked Jesse.

"I long for it." Hanzo admitted.

"...You wanna get closer?"

Hanzo's eyes opened wide with interest.

"You are comfortable with that?" he asked.

"Yeah. Do whatever you want."

Jesse was sitting as one should on a couch. Quickly, Hanzo flattened his own back against Jesse's chest, pushed him farther back, and took a seat between his legs. While Jesse's left leg ended up snug against Hanzo's left shoulder, Hanzo placed Jesse's right leg between his own.

Hanzo couldn't tell who was in whose lap, which was the appeal of the position. Overjoyed, he rested his head back on the left crook of Jesse's neck.

"Well, uh," Jesse stammered. "This is certainly--efficient at something."

"Maximizing contact." Hanzo replied as he rubbed Jesse's knee with his hand. "Unless it is too much."

"Well, it ain't really too much..."

Jesse's tone hinted that he was uncomfortable. Hanzo frowned.

"But?" asked Hanzo.

"Not sure how to say this. I ain't gonna be able to pull this one off without getting wood."

"It's taken you this long to get an erection? I've had an erection since before I stopped crying."

The laugh Jesse burst into was deep enough to shake the couch. Hanzo held onto Jesse's knees for dear life.

"Christ." Jesse said once he'd tampered down. "You can't--you just can't say stuff like that, Hanzo. You're gonna kill me."

"My apologies."

"But you--so you get that it ain't always sexual, then?"

"Of course. A heated blanket in my lap would be enough to engorge me."

"Alright. I feel better."

Hanzo nodded.

"Satya does not understand this." he mused.

"Satya...likes to cuddle?" asked Jesse.

"In eleven minute intervals."

"Guess I can see that."

"Unlike my erection."

"Yeah, uh, you're right. Still have me fooled."

"I tie my phallus to my leg each morning. That way I can make public erections go unnoticed."

Jesse took a long moment to respond. Hanzo used the time to readjust his weight.

"Why?" Jesse asked.

"I experience erections very frequently." Hanzo explained.

"Why?"

"I've not had an orgasm in over a year."

"...What the hell?"

Jesse's tone was thick with confusion. Hanzo frowned.

"Don't you think everyone should be jacking it all the time?" Jesse followed.

"Yes." Hanzo replied.

"But you're not jacking it at all."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't have time."

"It takes like two seconds."

Hanzo's frown deepened.

"I have an easier time with sex." said Hanzo.

"Why?"

"I feel more justified as I'm helping someone else achieve pleasure."

Once again, Jesse took a long moment to respond.

"Hanzo, that's...real weird." he finally stated.

"Many people refrain from orgasming." Hanzo replied.

"Yeah, but it's weird that _you're_ not doing it."

"Why?"

"...Kinda makes it seem like you don't really care about your own--pleasure and all that. You should touch yourself. You deserve it."

Hanzo couldn't see Jesse's face, but he could feel from the increase in temperature of the room that Jesse had flushed at his own words.

"Hey, uh, would you mind if I change the subject?" Jesse followed. "To, like, anything else?"

"I do not." Hanzo answered.

While Jesse sucked in a breath, Hanzo took a moment to process what Jesse had said. To his surprise, he felt that it fit in with what Zenyatta had lectured him on.

"You wanna watch a movie?" Jesse asked as he fished out a remote from under Hanzo's butt.

"I would like that."

They ended up watching Heathers, as it was what Jesse had already queued up and neither of them were willing to move.


	14. Hanzo wants to fuck

_May 15th, 2077_

It was half Zenyatta's recommendation that led him not to cancel his plans with Moira and Satya, and half that Satya had already arrived before Hanzo'd even thought to inform her of the situation.

After hearing what had happened, Satya put her folder down and asked if there was any service she could provide. Before Hanzo could answer her, they were interrupted by a knock at the door.

Hanzo opened it to see Moira.

"Are we still meeting today?" Moira asked. "I was not sure."

"You are welcome to come, although I am not sure how put together I will be." Hanzo replied.

"Would you like me to come?"

"Yes. I do not wish to be alone."

After a short moment of uncertainty, Moira stepped inside.

Hanzo knew he looked like a mess. His hair was astray, and his skin was pale and clammy.

He'd not even managed to take off his clothes.

"What would you like to do, Hanzo?" asked Satya.

"I would like to work." Hanzo answered.

"We will work, then."

"I need you to do the talking. I cannot speak for much longer."

"Very well. Will you still be able to nod and write?"

"Yes."

Satya lead Hanzo to the table while Moira took a seat on the couch.

With his hand over his mouth, Hanzo began to sob as Satya read the recount of the previous meeting. He continued to sob as Satya read her regulation propositions, and all throughout Moira's presentation on the behaviors of identical twins who'd been separated at birth.

He still, however, managed to nod and gesture, even with the image of Jesse's torn face in his mind.

* * *

* * *

_April 15th, 2077_

Half a year passed. Fifty-six assignments, twenty-five lessons with Ana, twenty-five meetings with Zenyatta, and twenty-five writing sessions with Satya, Moira, and Jesse.

Despite the lonely, horny nights, Hanzo was doing pretty alright. Although Jesse didn't give as much and as often of himself as Hanzo would have liked, Hanzo was pleased to be getting anything at all. In all honesty, he was happier than he'd been in a decade.

He still, however, hadn't managed to bring himself to masturbate. Not even once.

"May I give you a private request?" Hanzo asked.

Ana pulled her eyes away from her computer screen and looked up at Hanzo. She gestured to the empty chair in front of her desk, and Hanzo took a seat.

"You can ask me anything." she replied. "I can't promise I won't laugh, but don't let that scare you."

Hanzo nodded.

"Would you like to have intercourse with me?" he asked.

Ana coughed.

"H--hwat?" Ana stuttered.

"Would you like to have sex?"

With a small noise of question, Ana's mouth came undone.

"Why are you asking me this?" she asked. "Is this a joke?"

"I want to have sex."

"You want to have sex with me?"

"I wish to alleviate myself. I am not asking for a long term relationship of a sexual manner, but I do find you suitable and trustworthy enough for a single night, private engagement."

Hanzo was very confused when Ana started to laugh.

"Oh, sweetheart." she replied. "You can do much, much better than me."

In any other situation where Hanzo was not living in a secluded base, Ana's words would have been true.

"Would you not like to copulate with me?" asked Hanzo. "If so, I have no intention of changing your mind."

"I would very much like to copulate with you. However, I am not going to."

"Why not?"

"You are too young. And I am in a very happy relationship."

Hanzo nodded.

"Very well." he replied.

"Was there anything else you wanted to speak to me about?"

"No. I will see you later."

As Hanzo left, Ana tapped her earlobe.

"Winston, let's get the team some shore leave." she said into her comm. "They're getting antsy."

After glancing at the time on his phone, Hanzo broke into a jog. He was almost late for Satya's arrival.

The following hour was like any standard Wednesday, although the hour that followed that one was a bit different. After Moira had finished her report on the genetics of four leaf clovers, Jesse made the casual mention that his father was half Irish which lead Moira to immediately challenge him to a drinking competition.

A competition that they had both lost.

"My god, McCree, you cannot hold your liquor like you used to." Moira slurred.

"Well, yeah." Jesse replied as he swayed. "I was an alcoholic last time we worked together."

"...And how was I supposed to know that?"

"Didn't say it was your fault, pardner."

Satya had also joined them in drinking. Hanzo had wanted to as well, but unfortunately was not allowed to as Winston had only approved Moira's joining of their sessions if at least one of them was sober and able to stop a potential escape attempt.

"I have poured orange juice onto the floor." Satya said as she tapped on Hanzo's shoulder.

"Hmm?" Hanzo asked as he turned to face her.

"I have poured orange juice onto the floor."

Satya pointed to a few drops of orange liquid on the linoleum. She then pointed to the cup in her hand.

"It was not my goal to pour orange juice on the floor, but I have nonetheless." Satya followed.

Hanzo sighed and reached for a paper towel.

"Do you need help pouring your orange juice?" he asked Satya.

"I am alright." Satya slurred as she took another sip of her juice.

Half of her sip ending up on the floor.

 _"Oh danny boy,_ " Jesse sang from the couch, _"the pipes, the pipes are calling._ "

 _"From glen to glen, and down the mountain's side._ " Moira joined.

"I hate all three of you." said Hanzo as he finished cleaning the floor.

_"The summer's gone, and all the roses falling."_

Jesse was a good singer, and so was Moira. However, they didn't seem to be interested in singing in the same key.

"Hanzo, I have spilled more of my orange juice." Satya said.

Hanzo finally got the orange juice out of Satya's hands and urged her towards the couch.

"You are staring at my breasts." Satya said to Jesse as she took a seat.

Jesse's face twisted with horror.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be doing that." he stumbled. "I'll stop right now."

"I did not say I minded." Satya replied.

"...Pardon?"

"Do you enjoy staring at my breasts?"

Jesse blinked.

"They're pretty neat." he admitted.

"I am completely indifferent towards which part of me you stare at. Therefore, I request that you look at whatever part of me brings the most pleasure to you."

From the expression on Jesse's face, Hanzo could guess that he was about five seconds away from having a panic attack.

"Would anyone like to play a game?" Hanzo asked as he carried a board game towards the couch.

Jesse took one look at the box in Hanzo's hands and shook his head.

"Hell no." Jesse replied. "Hanzo, you gotta stop trying to get people to play that with you."

Hanzo frowned and sadly put _Dress Up as and Imitate the Racial Backgrounds of Your Friends_ back on the shelf. After he'd come back to the couch, he grabbed the empty seat between Jesse and Satya.

"Why do we always order ourselves this way?" asked Satya.

"What?" Hanzo replied.

"We always sit in this order. Moira, Jesse, Hanzo, and me."

"Visual representation of the Asperger's spectrum." Moira replied.

Less than an hour later, Satya ended up falling fast asleep on the couch. After wrapping her in a yukata much too large, Hanzo called an official drop ship to make sure she was taken home safely. After that, Hanzo got to work on kicking Moira and Jesse out.

 _"O'Grady he was eighty, 'tho his bride was just a pup_." they sang as he pushed them out the door. _"He died upon the honeymoon when she got his Irish up_."

They got to Moira's door first. Hanzo made sure she swallowed one of Angela's hangover cures before she went inside.

"Good nuggets to you both." she slurred as she shut the door.

Jesse leaned on Hanzo as they walked to his door a few down.

"You look real cute in that robe." Jesse mumbled.

"Mhm." Hanzo replied.

"You looked a little cuter without it, but you look plenty cute with it too."

"Mhm."

Hanzo punched in the code to Jesse's door and dragged him inside. He continued to drag Jesse over until they'd reached the couch.

"Woah!" Jesse said as he was tossed onto the cushions.

"You're fine."

It was late enough for Hanzo to toss the blanket hanging from the couch over Jesse's shoulders. But before Hanzo could leave, Jesse stopped him with a hand.

"What is it?" asked Hanzo.

From his spot on his back, Jesse blinked with wide eyes. Hanzo frowned to see how serious he suddenly looked.

"There's something I gotta tell you." Jesse answered quietly.

"...What? What is it?"

Jesse grinned.

"You are," he started, "and always shall be, my friend."

The rush of warmth Hanzo felt from Jesse's words was so great that his mouth nearly fell open. Hanzo returned Jesse's gaze with one just as serious.

"I wrote that line for you." Jesse followed. "Ain't never been said before."

"Do you mean it?"

"Course."

"Thank you."

Hanzo might have said something else had Jesse not turned on his side, pressed his face into the couch, and fallen fast asleep. As quietly as he could, Hanzo snuck out and closed the door behind him.

Out in the hall, Hanzo traveled to his own room. It was around the time he usually went to bed. After entering his room and stripping off his clothes, he slid under the sheets of his sleeping mats.

For a moment, he considered masturbating as he'd been consistently promising himself he was going to do it. But although he was easily able to get an erection, there was still something stopping him. For even though he'd done everything he'd felt he needed to do, a small voice in the back of his mind told him he just didn't deserve it.

Eventually, the small voice was replaced by Zenyatta's insistence that Hanzo should consider himself entitled to personal pleasure and Hanzo instantly felt more at ease. However, the thought of Zenyatta killed his erection in an instant.

He was too tired to try again.

Hanzo fell asleep much quicker than usual. Not only that, but he was thrust into a dream world in what only felt like mere seconds.

Usually when Hanzo dreamt, he had no idea he was asleep. This time was different.

He was in the center of a large field. Spread out in no particular pattern but evenly enough across the field were hundreds of sakura trees. They were all in full bloom of their delicate flowers, so much so that the ground was pink with cherry blossoms. In the sunny distance, a single building that Hanzo guessed was a Buddhist temple sat atop a hill.

Hanzo couldn't recognize the exact location, most likely because it wasn't real. But he still felt like he was back home.

After a moment of collection, he took off on a walk through the trees knowing exactly who he was looking for and where to look. As he walked, he looked down to realize his skin had been painted white and red and his clothing was to match. When he touched his head, he found his hair had been tied neatly beneath a coolie.

He was pitching one hell of a tent.

Eventually, Hanzo found who he was looking for. The silhouette of his posture was what gave Jesse away when Hanzo finally found him. Jesse was laid out against a tree with a strand of buckwheat between his lips and his stetson pulled over his head. Although as Hanzo drew near, he saw that the rest of Jesse's usual get-up had been replaced by a high end white kimono and a pair of sandals.

Upon seeing Hanzo, Jesse tipped his hat.

"Howdy." Jesse greeted with a smile and a piercing set of brown eyes.

Hanzo knelt next to him and took off his coolie. Jesse continued to grin and stare as Hanzo snatched off his stetson and placed it on the ground with the coolie.

"May I kiss you?" Hanzo asked.

"Please." Jesse replied.

Hanzo touched the side of Jesse's head to find he could almost feel the softness of his hair. When he started to lean in, Jesse mirrored the action and met him in the middle.

Jesse kissed like a perfect combination of everyone Hanzo had kissed in his life. As compiled at it was, Hanzo found it thrilling enough. He pushed against Jesse's mouth and chest hard enough to lay him on his back before tumbling on top. With their mouths still attached, Hanzo worked ran his hand over the swell of Jesse's chest.

"I am regretful I can show you no romance." said Hanzo as he loosened Jesse's kimono. "But I have a specific goal, and I'm unsure of how much time I have."

To Hanzo's momentary confusion, Jesse's clothing didn't pull away to the skin of his chest, but rather to a purple and black error pattern of missing textures.

Hanzo stood up.

"I've never seen you naked." Hanzo realized aloud.

Jesse's clothing melted off completely reveal that everything from his torso to his upper thighs were missing. After a moment of thought, Hanzo came up with a plan.

"So be it." Hanzo said to his own mind. "Cycle through every human body I've witnessed unclothed for reasons of a sexual nature."

Hanzo snapped and Jesse froze in time. With a pop, the error pattern was replaced with a male body.

The body was too short and too pale for Jesse, and the body hair was the wrong color. Hanzo frowned and snapped again.

The next body was female. Hanzo chuckled a bit at the image, and the thought of how much Jesse would have hated it.

"Every _male_ body." Hanzo clarified.

After cycling through dozens of bodies, Hanzo found himself less than satisfied. Most of the people Hanzo'd slept with had been Japanese, and Jesse's skin tone was just a bit too dark.

"How about this." said Hanzo. "Modify skin color based off the pigmentation of subject's forehead."

Hanzo snapped again and Jesse's new body darkened in color.

"Increase size by ten percent, and muscle definition by fifteen percent." Hanzo ordered.

Jesse's torso and upper thighs increased in size by ten percent, and in muscle definition by fifteen percent.

"Recolor body hair from black to dark brown."

The black pubic and chest hair and Jesse's body lightened in color.

"Increase chest hair by fifteen percent."

Jesse's chest hair thickened by fifteen percent.

"Undo."

The action undid itself, leaving Jesse as he'd been before.

"Increase chest hair by ten percent."

Jesse's chest hair thickened by ten percent.

"Undo."

The action undid itself, leaving Jesse as he'd been before.

"Increase chest hair by thirteen percent."

Jesse's chest hair thickened by thirteen percent.

When Hanzo'd finally finished, he got to work on Jesse's phallus. After choosing the color, he made it the most perfect length: twelve centimeters.

"This will do." Hanzo said as he examined Jesse.

Although Hanzo couldn't be sure that it was what Jesse really looked like naked, he at least looked believable. Still, Hanzo felt a compulsion to keep going with skin texture and ass definition, but he refrained after reminding himself once again that he could wake up at any moment.

Hanzo snapped again, and Jesse came back to life. Immediately, he locked eyes with Hanzo and smiled again.

"Remove my clothing." Hanzo requested.

Jesse nodded and got to work. The real Jesse probably would have had no idea how to remove Hanzo's garment, but this Jesse managed with flying colors.

As Jesse finished up, Hanzo shrugged out of his loose clothes to find that all of his skin had been painted.

"Pretty." Jesse said as he ran his fingers over the design on Hanzo's chest.

With a soft mouth, Hanzo carefully pinned Jesse back against the ground with a little pounce. Jesse accepted his fate with pride.

"Pretty." Jesse repeated.

"Is that all you can say?" asked Hanzo.

"Ron Paul twenty-twelve."

"...No more speaking."

Hanzo had no idea what position he had fallen asleep in. Given his steady, unending erection, Hanzo assumed the real him was unconsciously rubbing himself in some manner. And after reaching between the two of them and giving an experimental stroke of his own cock, the feeling of pleasure confirmed Hanzo's suspicion.

Although he knew it would end in a mess, Hanzo felt that sleeping was the ideal time for him to masturbate as it was a form of multitasking. After having the thought that he might have been touching himself somewhere else, Hanzo quickly ran his fingers over his nipples and in between his legs. But unfortunately, nothing could be felt.

"In that case, you are bottoming," Hanzo said to Jesse.

Jesse said nothing. Carefully, Hanzo maneuvered Jesse's body into the proper position for missionary.

After another kiss and a whole lot of rushing things along, Hanzo found he didn't need to prepare Jesse at all before he could penetrate him. He didn't ever really need to aim.

 _"Ah_..." Hanzo groaned as he started to thrust.

Fucking Jesse felt suspiciously like masturbation, but Hanzo supposed he could live with it. Especially when Jesse squeezed his eyes shut and moaned in response.

"You feel--good?" Hanzo panted.

Jesse moaned again, louder. It took Hanzo a moment to realize the soundbyte for it was originally a sound of pain Jesse had made after breaking his leg.

Hanzo supposed it would do.

"Wait." Hanzo said as he slowed down. "Wait. I would not construct a hyper-realistic doll of you in my waking hours and rub myself against it without your permission. So why would it be justifiable for me to do it here?"

Jesse said nothing.

"Decrease resolution by thirty percent." Hanzo instructed.

The resolution of Hanzo's dream was reduced by thirty percent. Hanzo wasn't completely sure that it was actually any more ethical, but it at least made him feel like it was as he started to pound again.

Even with the drop in quality, Jesse still looked as beautiful as Hanzo had always pictured; hair messy, body warm and appealing, and face flushed in all the right places.

"Copy." Hanzo said in reference to Jesse's form.

A tiny ding was heard to inform Hanzo that Jesse's model had been saved properly.

"I want to get to the important part." Hanzo said to Jesse. "Have an orgasm."

Pleasure twisted through Jesse's face as he started to tremble. At first, his eyes closed as he tensed, but they snapped open and met with Hanzo's gaze the second he started to convulse.

"Uh, _uhhhh_." Jesse called as he tightened himself around Hanzo's cock and started to spill.

Hanzo watched with passion as Jesse lost himself with the face he'd made while eating steak. The second Jesse was done, Hanzo slid out.

"Are you satisfied?" Hanzo asked Jesse.

Jesse smiled and nodded that he was as his cock started to soften. Still terribly horny, Hanzo almost cursed the level of realism until he remembered he'd prepared for it.

"Paste." Hanzo ordered.

A new naked Jesse popped into existence about ten feet from the other. Hanzo bid the current Jesse goodbye as he made his way over to the one who wasn't in a refractory period.

Once arrived, Hanzo lied down on the ground.

"Ride me." he instructed Jesse. "And wear your hat."

The new Jesse grinned as his stetson appeared on his head. Overflowing with confidence, he sat himself on Hanzo's cock with ease. Hanzo's dug into Jesse's sides with his hands to help him get started.

"Oh, you are gorgeous." Hanzo swooned as Jesse bobbed up and down.

Jesse put his metal hand behind him, resting it on Hanzo's knee. Hanzo was mesmerized by the dirty twists of his torso.

"Are you enjoying fucking yourself?" asked Hanzo.

With dark eyes, Jesse nodded.

"Have an orgasm." Hanzo followed.

Hanzo got an even better look at Jesse's face that time as he shuddered and came. Hanzo felt a hot a little thrill as Jesse's come splattered against his chest.

After helping Jesse disengage and giving him a little hair tousle, Hanzo pasted in a third Jesse.

"Hey there." Jesse One said to Jesse Two.

"Howdy." Jesse Two replied.

"Hey."

"Hello."

"Lie on your stomach." Hanzo told Jesse Three after he'd put up a barrier between them and the other Jesses.

Jesse complied. Hanzo pulled Jesse up and back by the hips a bit until he had a good enough of an angle to slide back in.

"Wait." Hanzo said with a sudden frown. "Wait."

Hanzo wasn't sure why, but he was suddenly struck with the suspicion that the real Jesse wouldn't have wanted to not be looked in the eyes, even in a fantasy.

"Turn on your side." Hanzo followed.

Jesse complied again. Hanzo hitched Jesse's right leg up and settled behind him. After being re-entered, Jesse turned his neck over to capture Hanzo's mouth with his own.

Hanzo dug his hands hard into the meat of Jesse's leg as he started to thrust. With a little groan, Jesse spread his own legs farther as if in invitation. Hanzo only broke away from Jesse's lips to speak.

"You feel good?" asked Hanzo.

"Uhuh."

Jesse's face was tense with pleasure. Although there was so much he wanted to see, Hanzo couldn't tear his eyes away.

His rhythm grew messier as he felt himself nearing his goal.

"Have another orgasm." Hanzo told Jesse. "And tense around me this time."

After getting one last eyeful of Jesse's face, Hanzo squeezed his eyes shut as Jesse started to come again.

 _"Ah_." Hanzo called out as Jesse began to rapidly tighten around his cock. "You feel so _good._ "

When Hanzo opened his eyes, Jesse had been replaced with his elementary school geography teacher.

"Tsugawa-sensei?" asked Hanzo.

The scene before Hanzo began to fizzle away. Desperately, Hanzo tried to regain control.

"Undo!" Hanzo shouted. "Undo!"

Hanzo's cries were to no avail. A new scene formed, but it was much less interesting from the last. Now before him was a long table covered in food dishes. At the table sat Lena, Fareeha, Hanzo's mother, and a lobster with his hands folded into his lap.

"Why is that man a lobster?" asked Hanzo.

"Hanzo, be nice to him!" Lena scolded as she pointed to the lobster. "He just lost his wife."

With another whirl of colors, the scene shifted again. When Hanzo came to, everything was much darker.

The sight before him was puzzling to say the least.

He could tell he was in some sort of mine shaft, lit dimly by a light source he couldn't find. Hundreds of people walked around the shaft. To Hanzo's confusion, some of the people were walking around on the rounded ceiling and walls. But after a short moment of thought he realized they were simply in the inside of a sphere with gravity working the reverse of what it usually would be.

The people had no faces.

Hanzo felt a sudden flash of dysmorphia. He extended his arms and took a look to see that they weren't his own. After a moment of panic, he felt his face. The deep scars over his eyes told him he was Commander Morrison.

He supposed he could work with that.

"Why are you down here?" Morrison asked a faceless woman.

The woman let out a dark chuckle before responding.

"A long line of our own poor choices has trapped our species down here." she replied. "We're trying to figure out which way is up so that we can dig out."

"You have plenty of people, and plenty of mining equipment. I would suggest digging a hole in each direction."

"Normally, I would agree with you. But there's a huge cache of bombs under the crust. If we dig too far in the wrong direction? Boom. All of us are done."

"So what's your plan?"

"We're going to have some meetings and decide democratically what to do next. We've--we've gotten almost everyone on board."

As she spoke, the woman's tone began to grow somber.

"What's wrong?" asked Morrison.

"Well, we have a big problem. You remember the bombs?"

"Yeah."

"We got a lady right now digging a hole as deep as she can without the consent of anyone. She claims she's going the right way, the rest of us are almost certain she's digging right towards a bomb."

Morrison's eyes widened with worry.

"Are you trying to stop her?" he asked.

"Absolutely. You can help, if you want. Just go over there."

The woman pointed to another section of the globe. After thanking her, Morrison ran off towards the location she'd pointed out.

It was hard to see what was going on with the low light, but the scene got clearer the closer he got. He could see the start of a long, deep hole in the dirt, big enough for two people to walk into side by side. At the entrance to the hole, dozens of people stood. Some were tossing red tomatoes into it.

"How can you do this?" one shouted.

Morrison couldn't see the lady he'd been warned about, so he ignored the faceless people and climbed into the hole. Although with the gravity like it was it should have been a straight fall, he found himself able walk along to along the hole like it was a flat tunnel. After a minute or two of walking, Morrison found the end of the tunnel.

At it stood Moira O'Deorain with a pickaxe in her hand and a layer of tomato coating her entire person. She was picking away at the dirt and rock like there was no tomorrow.

"Ugh, not you." Moira greeted upon turning her head.

"What are you doing?" Morrison asked.

Moira's glare only worsened with Morrison's words.

"I'm trying to save us all." she answered.

Morrison thought hard about what to do. In the silence, he realized he could now hear the shouts from the people in the shaft at full volume.

"There's a bomb this way." said Morrison.

"Is there?"

"Everyone thinks there is. If you are unsure, I'm certain they can give you some evidence."

Moira flat out laughed.

"They have no evidence." she replied. "If they did, they've yet to send it."

"What do they send?"

Morrison's question was answered as something hit him in the back of the head. At first, he thought it was a tomato, but upon further inspection, he found it was of a triangular shape. Upon further inspection, he realized it was a logical argument with two premises supporting a conclusion.

 _'If there is no evidence to support what you are doing, you are a monster._ ' and ' _There is no evidence to support what you are doing._ ' were the premises. _'Therefore, you are a monster._ ' was the conclusion.

"No evidence?" said Moira. "I am digging this way because every piece of evidence I've seen in my entire life supports my decision to dig this way. See?"

Moira turned to Morrison. With a flash of light, a complex structure of thousands upon thousands of interlocking triangles creating a messy structure appeared before her. But before Morrison could read any of them, he was hit in the head with another argument, which he read instead.

 _'If anyone tries to kill us all, they are despicable._ ' and ' _You are trying to kill us all._ ' were the premises. _'Therefore, you are despicable._ ' was the conclusion.

"The weakness of these arguments implies to me that these people are so stupid that whatever democracy they are planning will only hurt them." said Moira as she continued to mine.

As she spoke, a tomato hit her square in the back.

"And the impassion they have for me and my ideas only tells me that it’s my duty to save us all." she followed. "If no one else will save us, I must."

Morrison supposed he could almost understand where she was coming from. However, he had a much bigger problem on his hands. He wasn't going to let the mine blow up. Another tomato whizzed by, but Morrison caught it before it could hit Moira. In his hand, the tomato turned from a soft red ball to a sharp stone.

Although it gave him no pleasure, Morrison knew what he had to do.

After Moira's body had been taken care of, Morrison put the stone in his pocket. But to his surprise, another woman materialized in the space where Moira had been standing.

"Satya?" Morrison asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I am following my programming." Satya replied as she picked up the ax. "This is the path I have been programmed to take."

"Do you mind the tomatoes?"

"No. They only serve as reminders to why I must do what I do."

Morrison pulled the stone back out from his pocket. Again, it gave him no pleasure to hear her final cries.

After Satya's body slumped to the ground, she was replaced by a grown man and a small child. Morrison wasn't sure how, but he recognized them as Shimada Sojiro and his first born son. Sojiro caught an argument from the air and handed it to his son.

"As you can see, Hanzo, the common people lack the discipline and intellect to make their own choices." Sojiro told his son while they picked at the wall. "Which is why for their own good, we believe it's best to for them be...absorbed by a greater purpose."

After Sojiro and his son came others still. With his stone, Morrison worked his way through dozens of totalitarians, hate group leaders, god-fearing suicide bombers, and cultists of every kind. Bodies littered the floor of the tunnel as far back as Morrison could see.

"How can I convince you to stop?" Morrison asked a man as he dug yet another foot with his pickax.

"I--"

There was a flash of light and a massive boom. With a jolt and a cry, Hanzo shot up into a sitting position in his bed.

He exhaled slowly as he brought himself back to real life. He couldn't see much in the dark, but he could feel that his sheets and skin were soaked with sweat. The glowing numbers on his bedside clock informed him that it was four in the morning.

Hanzo had never been a stranger to nightmares. However, what he'd just witnessed was more than a little strange. Usually, Hanzo's nightmares were vivid replays of his brother being slaughtered by his own hand. But never before had his mind conquered something so abstract and removed from anything he'd ever witnessed.

He got the feeling he would have had to have been someone else to understand it. He also got the feeling he wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep for a while. With a little grunt, Hanzo pulled himself out of bed and slipped on a loose shirt and some sweatpants. He wasn't sure where he wanted to go, but his quarters were getting more and more cramped by the second.

The halls were dark as he wandered them. He supposed he could start his work out routine a little early, but he felt too tired. Eventually, he wandered into the breakroom with the goal of a simple cup of tea.

To his surprise, the lights were already on in the breakroom. Hanzo's eyes drifted to the table to see a very tired looking Jesse sitting alone.

"Howdy." Jesse greeted.

"What are you doing here?" Hanzo replied.

"Could ask you the same question."

"I asked first."

Jesse gave a lazy click of his tongue before replying.

"Couldn't sleep." he answered.

"I'd gathered."

"Had a nightmare."

"I'd figured."

Jesse gestured to the empty seat across from him. Hanzo took it.

"You are not the only one." Hanzo admitted.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Do you?"

"I don't really wanna talk about mine. I'd be up for talking about yours."

Hanzo nodded and slowly described the nightmare portion of his dream to Jesse. Jesse listened with a half-lidded, sleepy expression on his face.

"Huh." Jesse said once Hanzo had finished. "Sounds...a little Freudian."

"That is the worst thing you've ever said."

As his face broke into a smile, Jesse chuckled quietly to himself.

"Please just tell me if you have any thoughts." Hanzo followed.

"Oh, I got thoughts."

"Will you share them?"

"I think it would be best for the both of us if I kept them to myself."

Strangely enough, Hanzo wasn't upset. He got the feeling he couldn't have understood what had happened in his dream even if it was spelled out to him.

"Very well." Hanzo replied.

"Glad we're--on the same page." Jesse said as he yawned.

"Do you have nightmares often?"

"Not as much since I started smoking pot before I went to bed. But they still sneak up on me."

Jesse had been very secretive about the lasting damage of his post traumatic stress. Still, Hanzo had managed to notice.

"Ain't looking forward to the morning." Jesse followed.

"Do you have an assignment?" asked Hanzo.

"Yeah. Would've been nice to get more sleep."

"Can you not fall back asleep after having a nightmare?"

"Sometimes I can, but it's hard. Everything just looks so--sinister."

"I understand what you mean."

"I've never liked sleeping alone. Used to be a big reason why I wanted to get married."

An idea began to dawn on Hanzo, although he was unsure how to voice it.

"Is there any way I could be of service to you?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse gave Hanzo a little glance before responding.

"What do you mean?" Jesse replied.

"I'm asking if there is anything I can do to assuage you."

"Like..."

Hanzo said nothing.

"Anything?" asked Jesse.

"Within reason." Hanzo quickly replied.

After a few long moments of what looked like intense, inner debate, Jesse finally opened his mouth.

"What are you offering?" Jesse questioned.

"...If you would rather sleep alone, that is perfectly--"

"Why are you offering this?"

"I believe it would be mutually beneficial."

"Cause you're lonely?"

"Yes. And I want to help you."

Quickly, Jesse glanced at the door before returning his gaze to Hanzo.

"You really don't mind?" asked Jesse.

"I do not."

"Alright then."

With a little grunt, Jesse stood up from the table. He motioned for Hanzo to follow.

"You wanna go to my quarters or yours?" Jesse asked as they walked.

"Yours." Hanzo replied, remembering the sweat-soaked state of his sheets.

"Huh, that's new."

The walk to Jesse's door was short and silent. Jesse yawned again as he punched in the code.

All the lights were on in Jesse's living room. And as they traveled to the bedroom, Hanzo discovered that the lights where on throughout his entire quarters.

"I'll turn those off." said Jesse as he flicked a switch down.

"Hmm."

Hanzo had never been in Jesse's bedroom before. Perhaps it was due to his tired state, but it felt very personal to sit down on Jesse's bed and touch the brightly-colored quilt that covered it.

"You sure about this?" Jesse asked.

"This was my idea."

"...Good point."

After turning off every light in his room but a bedside lamp, Jesse slid off his own sweatpants to reveal a conservative pair of boxers.

He kept his shirt on.

"Wait." Jesse started as Hanzo put a hand on his own waistband. "Before you do that, I got a rule."

"What's that?"

"Look, I know you like to be a little footloose, but if I'm gonna share a bed with someone who I ain't screwing, they better be wearing panties."

Hanzo didn't think it was the best time to say that he wasn't wearing underwear.

"Lemme guess." Jesse followed. "You ain't wearing underwear?"

"I am not."

"You can borrow mine."

Jesse pointed to a drawer. Hanzo stood up and opened it to reveal a drawer of underwear and socks.

"Thank you." Hanzo replied as he dropped his pants.

" _Ah_ \--Christ."

Hanzo rolled his eyes with a tiny scoff as he stepped into a pair of boxers. Jesse had seen him naked dozens of times.

After he'd properly covered himself, Hanzo was allowed access under Jesse's covers.

Hanzo took the left side. Jesse's mattress was a queen, which provided about a foot of space between the two of them if they both hugged the sides.

"Do you, uh," Jesse stammered, "do you mind if I face you?"

"Not in particular. Although I would like to ask why."

"I wanna know you're there."

Hanzo knew what he wanted to ask was probably crossing a line, but that had never stopped him before.

"Would you like to be touched?" asked Hanzo.

"...You'd do that for me?" Jesse replied.

"You are welcome to sleep on my chest, so long as you refrain from hugging me."

"That won't keep you up?"

"So long as you refrain from hugging me."

"Yeah, reckon I'd like that."

Hanzo nodded and rolled onto his back. Tentatively, Jesse placed his head over the left side of Hanzo's chest.

It took Jesse a moment to relax.

"Thanks for putting me to bed twice in one day." Jesse mumbled.

"You remember that?"

"When I was drunk? Yeah. Sorry if I did anything gross."

"I did not even notice a difference."

"Fuck off."

Hanzo's mouth softened as he remembered Jesse's words about friendship. He considered bringing them up again, but was too afraid.

They both fell asleep in seconds.

Over the following month, Hanzo ran into Jesse late in the breakroom twice more. Each time ended in late night cuddling and sleepy breakfast that was so domestic Hanzo didn't know how to handle himself.

As for masturbation, Hanzo swore to himself that he would have started doing it had his life not suddenly gotten a whole lot harder. Due to a bad bone injury, Ana had needed to take some time off, which had temporarily left Hanzo as the only sniper on the crew.

Hanzo would have thought that the onslaught of hard work would be enough to distract him from his neglected sexual needs, but they did nothing to stop his body from being a body. Which meant that Hanzo couldn't help feeling more than a little relieved when they finally got sent out on shore leave.

"Look, I ain't saying I think they're selfish, least not the ones who ain't big politicians." Jesse slurred as they waited for their food. "I like Lucio fine, even though he's a commie."

"You think I'm a _what?"_ Lucio asked from the other side of the table.

"But the thing is, I just ain't comfortable with anything that don't allow...personal freedoms."

Hanzo was unsure as to what had prompted Jesse's speech, but he was thoroughly entertained nonetheless. Jesse examined one of the gilded forks on the table with interest.

"Personal freedoms such as...?" asked Hanzo.

"Like property ownership." Jesse answered as he discreetly slid a fork and knife up his sleeve. "Now, I'm all for people sharing outta their own freewill, but if nobody can own nothing, that just means the government owns everything."

"Do go on."

"Now I don't trust the government not to just start taking stealing our hard earned--"

Jesse cut himself off for a moment to smile and wave at the waitress as she passed by, who gave a charmed little giggle before continuing on her way.

"--our hard earned shit."

As soon as the waitress looked away, Jesse shoved a shot glass into his hip pouch.

"How can you be so entertaining?" Hanzo asked in wonder.

On the other side of the table, Angela pinched Genji's cheek.

"Meet me in the bathroom." she muttered to Genji. "Ten minutes."

After Angela had left, Jesse jumped up from his own chair.

"On that." Jesse stated. "I love ya'll to death, but here's how it's gonna be. Apologies for being crude, but I ain't been fucked since our last shore leave. Which if I might remind you, was two years ago."

Hanzo watched as Jesse pushed in his chair.

"Catch you later." he followed as he walked by.

Jesse made his way for a group of attractive women next to the pool table. Hanzo watched as Jesse scooted right up to the heaviest one and started a conversation on the spot.

"Are you alright?" Genji asked Hanzo quietly.

Hanzo nearly jumped. He hadn't realized his brother had been watching him.

"I'm well." he replied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Should I not be?"

Discreetly, Genji gestured to the pool table. Hanzo stared back at Genji, confused.

"You're not jealous?" asked Genji.

Hanzo chuckled.

"Jealous, no." he replied. "I would only be jealous if I had reason to think that if McCree wasn't attempting to copulate with strangers, he'd be attempting to copulate with me. Instead, I suspect that if McCree was not attempting to copulate with strangers, he would have fucked his hand and gone to bed."

"Is that really how you see it?"

"Yes. The only regret I feel is that I am unable to watch."

With a violent cough, Genji began to choke on his saliva.

"Why do you tell me these things?" Genji asked when he caught his breath.

"I will see you later." Hanzo replied as he stood.

After considering that Jesse had gotten the pool tables on lockdown, Hanzo made his way to the opposite side of the bar while Genji snuck off to the bathrooms.

Hanzo liked to be sexy. And he was good at it, too, for as long as he kept his mouth shut. Never before had he been more thankful for his taste for traditional fabrics as he tied his hair ribbon around his head like some sort of headband and joined a small group of attractive people his age.

"Hello." one of the women greeted. "What's your name?"

Hanzo bowed politely and pointed to his headband.

"Oh, you don't speak for religious reasons?" the woman clarified.

Hanzo nodded.

"Are people of your order...abstinent?" asked a man.

Smiling, Hanzo shook his head no.

"That's very interesting." the man followed.

The rest was easy. To Hanzo's delight, no one in the group seemed particularly opposed to branching out. In fact, the only thing that stood in Hanzo's way of fucking half the bar was the risk of getting distracted by Jesse's discovery of the mechanical bull.

"Feel free to tip." Hanzo heard Jesse say from the other side of the room.

Hanzo shook his head and turned back to his task. Although he couldn't help himself from keeping an eye on Jesse, and following after him when he took a break for the bathroom.

Jesse didn't actually go into the bathroom, just leaned up next to the door and began to count the money that had been tucked into his waistband. Hanzo went straight for the drinking fountain to seem like he'd come over for a practical reason.

"Hey." Jesse greeted.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

"Saw you pretending to be a monk."

"Ha. I saw the bull riding."

"What'd you think?"

"I thought it looked like sex."

Jesse blinked.

"The way your pelvis moved while you were riding heavily resembled sexual thrusting." Hanzo explained. "I'd thought that was why you were doing it."

"It were." Jesse replied blankly.

"It was an exhilarating sight."

"...You--you think so?"

"Mhh. But may I give you a pointer on seduction?"

"What's that?"

"I've seen that you are only trying to attract women. You could nearly double your output by not excluding."

With a little chuckle, Jesse shook his head.

"Ain't trying to fuck the whole bar." said Jesse. "Let a man be a little conservative."

Hanzo shook his head with a tiny scoff.

"I suppose I should have known besting you would come with ease." he replied with faux dismay.

"Hell's that supposed to mean?"

"I've said what I've said."

Jesse's eyes squinted half closed. Hanzo refused to back down with his gaze.

"You wanna make this a contest?" Jesse asked.

"Very well. What will I be winning?"

"A fleeting moment of accomplishment followed by a lifetime of personal dissatisfaction."

"I look forward to it."

Hanzo gave Jesse a mocking bow.

"Wait, what are we going off for points?" asked Jesse.

"Whoever fucks the greater number of people." Hanzo replied.

"Nah, I don't wanna do that. I reckon people deserve to feel special."

"In that case, we could compete for who can simply have the most sex."

"Guess I can get behind that. May the best man win."

Jesse gave a tip of an invisible hat as he walked away, leaving Hanzo with a pounding heart and massive pupils.

Hanzo already knew who was going to win.

The night ended up going pretty much as planned. Hanzo left the bar early, and didn't see any of Jesse until after the night had passed and they'd both returned to base.

Jesse yawned while he poured hot water for his coffee. Given that it was just the two of them, Hanzo made his way over from the doorframe with a smile. Although Hanzo had managed a slight hangover, it did little to dampen the glow of relief that the night before had given him.

"Oh, hey." Jesse said as he turned to face Hanzo.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

Jesse looked the same as he usually did, but Hanzo couldn't help but feel that something was off about his expression. Instantly, Hanzo felt himself grow nervous.

"Hey, uh, are we alright?" asked Jesse as he chewed on the end of his unlit cigar.

"Yes. Should we not be?"

"No. I'm just being stupid."

Hanzo was still confused, but Jesse's face began to soften.

"How did it go for you last night?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse looked down.

"Feels kinda scummy to talk about." he replied. "Though I suppose that ain't really rational."

"Of course not. I will not tell a soul."

"Alright, fine, I'll tell you."

Jesse leaned forward into a closer speaking range. Although he still looked a bit embarrassed, he opened his mouth nonetheless.

"I ended up at a townhouse with--two ladies." Jesse started. "They were both very nice."

"How many times did you--"

"Four. Last time was a bit rough, but I knew I needed something to get myself through the next two years."

Hanzo chuckled.

"I don't usually--do that." Jesse followed. "With, uh, two people."

"That does not surprise me." Hanzo replied.

"But I reckon it went alright. It was what they said they'd wanted. And then in the morning, the one lady whose house it was gave me some money for the bus and we talked about her mom for a while."

"How noble. I fucked eighteen people in the basement of a coke mansion."

As his cigar fell from his mouth, Jesse made a noise somewhere between a snort and a cough.

"You--eighteen times?" Jesse asked.

"Twenty-four times. I was not counting the times where I was the one who was fucked."

"You're pulling my leg."

"Are we only counting penetration?"

Jesse made a face.

"This image disgusts you." Hanzo realized.

"Hey, you know me. I support your right to be disgusting."

"Prude."

"What!? I ain't a prude. You're just missing some chunk of your brain."

"Yes, I'm missing the chunk that forms in Catholic school."

Hanzo's smile widened as Jesse began to chuckle.

"You're crazy." said Jesse.

"And you are insane."

Out of nowhere, Jesse's face fell. He didn't quite look upset, but Hanzo started to feel nervous once again nonetheless.

"Hey, uh, there's something I wanna talk to you about." Jesse started.

Jesse's face was frighteningly serious. Hanzo's heartbeat quickened with anxiety.

"Have I done something wrong?" Hanzo asked.

"No. No. There's just--something I've been telling myself to say to you for a while now, and I really need to get around to it."

Eyes wide with interest, Hanzo waited for Jesse to continue.

"Watching you get fondled by half a bar's worth of strangers last night got me thinking about what I want outta life," Jesse stumbled, "and..."

Jesse trailed off and shut his mouth. Hanzo burned with sudden curiosity.

"And what?" asked Hanzo.

"Well, what do you think?" Jesse replied.

"Think of what?"

"Think of what I'm getting at."

"I do not know what you're getting at. You've yet to tell me."

Jesse tilted his head with skepticism.

"Come on, you know what I'm gonna say." he said.

"Why would I know?" Hanzo replied. "You make no sense."

"So you really ain't gonna help me out at all here?"

"Help you with what?"

To Hanzo's intense, unending frustration, Jesse didn't respond. Instead, he tapped his ear lobe.

"I'll be there in a minute, Ana." Jesse spoke into his comm. "Just getting some coffee."

After Jesse put his hand down, Hanzo crossed his arms in front of his chest. There was no doubt in his mind that he was owed some sort of explanation. After several failed attempts, Jesse finally managed to open his mouth.

"I'll tell you when I get back." said Jesse.

"Will you?"

"Yeah. I'll be back on Wednesday. Knocking at your door at noon."

Before Hanzo could even process what had happened, Jesse grabbed his coffee and was out the door.

Hanzo supposed it wasn't that big of a deal. He'd see Jesse in a few days.

Wednesday was just two days away. The fifteenth, to be specific. Thanks to Ana's recovery, Hanzo hadn't been scheduled for any more assignments. Which meant he had plenty of time to think, write, train, and try to find creative new ways to do them all at the same time until Wednesday rolled around.

When Wednesday did come, Hanzo felt himself growing more and more anxious as the time grew closer to noon. He couldn't stop wondering what Jesse wanted to tell him.

He hoped it wasn't bad.

Too quickly, Hanzo jumped off his couch and got to his feet after hearing a knock at the door to his quarters. When he'd managed to collect himself, he made his way over to the door and opened it.

His mouth grew tight when he saw it was his brother on the other side.

"Hello." Genji greeted.

Hanzo raised an eyebrow as he noticed Genji's face was covered completely by his face plates and visor. Genji rarely covered his face when he was off the job, so it was a bit of a strange sight.

"What do you want?" Hanzo asked.

"There is something you must know. I've come to tell you." Genji replied.

Genji's voice was steady, but there was something in it that made Hanzo feel uneasy.

"Please make it fast." said Hanzo. "I'm expecting company."

"What company?"

"I can hardly see how that is any of your concern."

"McCree has been captured."

Hanzo blinked.

"What?" he asked.

"McCree has been captured and taken as prisoner."

As he processed Genji's words, Hanzo inhaled too quickly and sucked saliva into his lungs. He brought his fist up to his mouth and began to cough.

"By who?" Hanzo sputtered.

"Talon." Genji answered.

"Is he alive?"

"When we last saw him, yes."

"Do we have a plan?"

"No. We know nothing of his location, and Talon has not reached out with demands."

Hanzo squeezed his eyes shut. He knew it was more likely Talon would simply attempt to reprogram him rather than ask for an exchange.

"We are all prepared to offer you support." Genji followed. "Please reach out to--"

Hanzo closed the door in his brother's face.

While he sunk to the ground with his back to the door, Hanzo thought back to the beginning.


	15. Son of Morris

_April 15th, 2077_

Hanzo hadn't stopped crying by the time Satya left. She'd offered to stay longer, but Hanzo felt tired enough to try and sleep through some of his pain.

As Hanzo bid Satya goodbye at the door, Moira got herself a glass of water. Hanzo assumed she was going to leave as soon as she'd finished it, but she stayed put.

Hanzo almost flinched in surprise when he saw how intense the expression on her face was.

"Is something wrong?" Hanzo asked.

Keeping her deep frown as it was, Moira turned from the sink to face Hanzo. Silently, she slid Hanzo a tiny note.

 _'Come with me._ ' it read. _'Lose your phone, and cover the communicators in your ears.'_

"Nothing." Moira replied as she began to make her way over to the bathroom. "I'm going to use the shower, if that's alright."

"I don't mind." Hanzo replied, heart pounding.

Quickly, Hanzo covered his earlobes with a few layers of tape and some acoustic foam he'd found. After trying to figure out if he had any other devices on his person that could record audio or video, Hanzo simply stripped down naked before taking off for the bathroom.

After entering, Hanzo closed the door behind him while Moira sat on the sink counter. He then shoved a towel under the door.

"I cannot promise anything, but I think I know where McCree is." said Moira.

Hanzo was unable to reply as his heart jumped into his throat. With his hand, he gestured for Moira to continue.

"McCree was captured in Central America, so it was most likely he's in Talon's Colombian interrogation shelter." Moira followed. "I will give you the coordinates."

As Moira spoke, Hanzo wrote the coordinates down with a tube of eyeliner on his arm.

"Thank you very much." Hanzo said as she finished. "Is there anything else I must know?"

"Not much. The interrogation facility is very small, so you should not need to expect many troops."

"I understand."

"But Gabriel Reyes will certainly be there. He has wanted to catch McCree for a long time."

"Mhh."

Moira took a quick glance to both her left and right before continuing.

"You should kill Gabriel, if you get the chance." she whispered.

"Do you know how to kill him?"

Moira's face twisted with thought. A moment later, she opened her mouth to speak again.

"I have something that may help you." said Moira.

"What is it?"

"...Turn around."

"Why?"

Hanzo's question was answered as Moira began to tug her pants down.

"Oh." Hanzo said as he turned.

After a moment of shuffling, Moira informed Hanzo that he could look again. Hanzo turned to see that she was peeling protective plastic off a small needle.

"What's that?" he asked.

"This is a serum I developed before I was captured. It should kill Reyes if struck anywhere in his body."

"Did you have plans to kill him?"

"Yes. Although I had a difficult time finding the courage to strike him."

Moira's gaze intensified as she handed Hanzo the needle.

 _"Anywhere_ on his body." she followed.

Although Hanzo didn't know what to make of Moira's comment, a few more important questions came to mind.

"How did you get this past Overwatch's security?" asked Hanzo.

"It is not toxic to humans." Moira answered. "It is only toxic to...him."

"You live your life with a needle in your vaginal cavity that is designed to protect yourself from one specific man?"

"Yes. And if you were wondering, I am very uncomfortable to be without it."

"If you wanted Reyes dead, why did you work for him?"

"For many years, I thought Overwatch was a larger threat to humanity than Reyes. I still consider Overwatch to be a threat, but after thinking through things, I believe Reyes must be stopped. Then someone better could take over Talon. Anyone would be better."

"Why did you not say something when you first heard that Jesse had been captured?"

Moira's face fell.

"I was worried as to what would become of me." she answered. "And I still am."

"I understand." Hanzo replied.

"But I know that you are the one who fought for me not to be tortured and reconditioned. In compound with my desire to stop Reyes' reign of terror, I cannot justify refusing to help you."

Hanzo said nothing as Moira covered her eyes and sighed.

"Perhaps it was foolish of me to even try to be discreet." Moira followed. "I have no doubt that Morrison will know where you heard this from."

"I will make up a story. And Ziegler will protect you if something goes wrong, as will I."

"Thank you."

Hanzo had nothing more to say, and Moira made no indication that she did either. So with a small bow, Hanzo bid her goodbye.

"I will inform my commanders that I have information." he said as he left the bathroom and uncovered the foam from his ears.

"Do you mind if I use your shower?" asked Moira.

"I do not mind."

As Hanzo made his way out the door, he only just remembered to dress for combat and grab his bow. He shoved the needle into the front pocket of his pants as he did.

"Morrison, I have information on McCree's location." Hanzo said into his comm.

It took Morrison less than ten seconds to reply.

'Be at my office in now.'

Hanzo broke into a jog for Morrison's office. When he got there, the door was open and Morrison had taken a stand in front of his desk.

It was late. Hanzo couldn't believe Morrison was still in his office.

"What's your info, son?" Morrison asked with wide eyes.

Hanzo read off the coordinates from his arm. Morrison typed them into a device at his hip and took a look at the screen.

"They're in Central America, so that's promising." said Morrison. "Guess we're going to Columbia."

Morrison bolted out his door as he spoke. Hanzo jogged to keep up.

"Oxton, Song, Ziegler, both Shimadas, and both Amaris report to the loading bay in now." Morrison said into his comm.

As soon as his hand had left his ear, Morrison turned to Hanzo.

"You wanna tell me where you got these coordinates?" asked Morrison.

"I hired a private team of investigators." Hanzo replied.

"They managed to stumble upon a hidden facility in the middle of the Colombian rainforest without getting caught?"

"...They are very talented."

"And I'm hiring."

Upon reaching the ship, Morrison went inside to change his pants. The rest of the agents arrived quickly, as if they had a suspicion as to what the mission was about. They were overjoyed when Morrison confirmed that it was a rescue mission.

"Well, don't be weird about it." Morrison said as Genji burst into tears.

The ship took off in minutes. After he got bored of watching everyone change and load their guns, Hanzo took a seat next to Morrison.

"What is the plan?" Hanzo asked.

"You, me, your brother, and Oxton are gonna go in cause we're small and quiet-ish." Morrison answered as he stroked one of two machine guns he had attached to his person, both with comically elongated magazines. "Amari junior and Song are back-up, and Ziegler and Amari senior are on medical duty."

"What will we do when we get in?"

"First we're gonna get McCree back to the ship. Then--"

Morrison touched the bayonet on the tip of one of his guns.

"--then I'm gonna give Reyes eighteen rounds of bullets, and then some stab wounds." he finished.

Hanzo thought it was best not to reply. After a moment, Morrison reached into his pocket.

"Suicide pill?" Morrison asked as he offered Hanzo an injection.

Hanzo shook his head no.

"I have a metal ball filled with nanobots installed at the top of my spinal cord." answered Hanzo. "With a sequence of distress, rapid eye movements, and--"

"Oh, you got the GR-14?" Morrison cut in.

"...You know it?"

"Yeah. But you gotta get the GR-15. It's way better."

"How?"

"Rips you down to quarks. And in half the time."

Hanzo nodded with interest, although he couldn't think of a good way to reply. Neither of them spoke for an uncomfortably long amount of time.

"I used to have a lot of sex in the military." Morrison announced.

"Uhuh." Hanzo replied.

"But then they started letting women join too."

"...How old are you?"

Morrison only scoffed. Hanzo decided that there was someone else he should probably be taking to.

Hanzo found Genji sitting quietly near the front of the ship. Genji seemed surprised to be approached, but scooted over quickly to allow Hanzo space to sit.

"Hello." Genji greeted.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

Although most of Hanzo's mind was on Jesse, he did still take a moment to worry for his brother's safety.

"I forgive you, you know that?" said Genji.

Hanzo looked down at his knees.

"For?" he asked, as if he didn't know.

"Killing me."

With a tiny noise of distress, Hanzo squeezed his eyes shut.

"I understand that you felt it was the rational thing to do." Genji continuing.

"I've come to understand that it was more complicated than that."

"And what would that be?"

"I cannot say with complete truth that I did it because I believed it to be rational. Upon further examination of my past actions through what I know now, I see that I was done with motivations tainted by self-interest.

"And I forgive you for that."

Hanzo choked back the urge to sob and said nothing. They sat in silence for the remainder of the trip, but Hanzo didn't mind.

He stayed close to his brother as they exited the ship with Lena and Morrison.

"The place we're looking for should be about half a mile that way." Morrison said as he pointed into the jungle. "I don't want the ship to get any closer."

"I understand." Ana replied.

"I'm guessing we're gonna have to go underground to get McCree, so we'll be out of communication range. If we aren't back in two hours, send in back-up."

"I am prepared."

The walk to the base took a little less than fifteen minutes. It was a hot, humid trek, and Hanzo began to resent the thick tropical forest quickly.

Finally, they came to what looked like a rundown entrance to a nonexistent primitive hut. The crude doorway was overrun with vines, and Hanzo was skeptical if it could even open until the door started to shift.

"Hide!" Morrison ordered in a hoarse whisper.

Hanzo complied. He ended up behind a tall tree with Genji, about fifty meters from the entrance. He could just barely make it out as a massive man stormed through the door.

The man wasn't as big as Reinhardt, but he was big nonetheless. After a short moment, Hanzo realized he recognized him.

"Oh, Akande." Hanzo groaned quietly.

"You know Doomfist?" asked Genji.

"He used to beg me to join Talon. He left me so many voicemails I had to change my number."

"...And you are on a first name basis with him?"

Although he seemed to be ready to take off, Akande only got a few steps from the door before he turned back around to face it.

"No, this is it." Akande said. "I'm not coming back."

Hanzo heard a voice respond, but it wasn't loud enough for him to make out any of the words.

"This has gotten too--strange." Akande replied to the voice. "I came here for political reasons, as I thought we had common ground. Obviously, I was wrong. I'm not interested in your reign of terror."

Akande began to stomp away. The voice from inside let out an angry sound, but it was ignored.

"He does not even deserve a two week notice." Akande mumbled as he walked by.

A few minutes of silence passed before Morrison gave them the signal to come out. Hanzo stretched upon removing himself from behind the tree.

"Genji, you're going in first." Morrison ordered.

Before Hanzo could protest, Genji walked up to the doors and peeked inside. After a long moment, he gestured with his hand for them to follow.

"Ana, we're about to lose signal on the comms." Morrison followed after he'd tapped his earlobe.

Hanzo walked behind Lena as they traveled to the entrance. Once they'd gotten close enough, he looked through the open door to see a long, dark staircase. Upon stepping through the door, he realized the staircase wasn't as long as he'd thought, only about a hundred steps. The lighting was dim, but he could still make out the layer of black goo that was splattered against the grey steps.

The goo grew thicker the further down they went.

"Does anyone hear anything?" Morrison whispered.

Everyone shook their heads no.

After they'd climbed down the steps, Hanzo took a moment to examine their new location.

They were in a hallway, about the same width and height as any hallway at Watchpoint. Weak lights adorned the ceiling in a neat row. Despite how poorly lit it was, Hanzo could make out the end of the hall a few hundred feet away, as well as several connecting doors. The black goo that had covered the stairs also covered the walls in intricate tendrils that connected like webbing.

The tendrils were pulsating. It almost looked like they were breathing. In the cracks between them, the worn brown of the walls could be seen.

"Don't touch them." Morrison scolded before Lena could stick her finger in a black vine.

"Do you have a heat signal?" asked Genji.

Morrison pulled a small device off his hip and examined the screen.

"Yeah." he replied. "I see two."

"Where are they?"

"The smaller one is two rooms down to the left. There's also one that's at the end of the hall, although it's a lot larger than what I should be getting from a single body."

"So there are no guards?" Hanzo asked.

"Not that I can see." Morrison answered. "Although the larger heat signal could be a mass of guards, just standing really close together."

"Why would they do that?"

"They wouldn't. It's obviously Reyes. He's just...really big for some reason."

Along with everyone else, Hanzo turned and stared.

"We'll take care of Reyes once we get McCree out." Morrison followed.

Hanzo supposed he couldn't think of a better solution.

As he led them to the second room on the left, Morrison pulled a needle from his pocket. Hanzo recognized it as morphine.

"I'm assuming none of you want to get him?" asked Morrison.

Along with everyone else, Hanzo shook his head no. He wouldn't have wanted Jesse to see him filthy and abused, and he had no reason to think that Jesse didn't feel the same way.

The door to the cell was as worn as the rest of the place. The only thing keeping it locked were the black tendrils of goo, which shied away as soon as Morrison brought his knife an inch away from them.

The tendrils hung like string after being detached from the door.

"That's weird." Morrison muttered.

"Can you open it?" asked Lena.

After jiggling the doorknob, Morrison nodded. Hanzo's heart pounded as Morrison opened the door and peered inside.

"Yeah, that's him." Morrison said. "You all just...look off in opposite directions and tell me if anything gets any weirder."

Hanzo breathed out a tiny sigh of relief as he readied his weapon. Morrison stepped through the door.

From inside, Hanzo heard some shuffling. The shuffling was followed by the quiet sound of Jesse bursting into tears, and a whisper from Morrison warning him not to get too sentimental.

When Morrison returned, he was carrying a doped Jesse over his shoulder.

All Jesse was wearing were a set of combat pants that certainly were not his own. After noticing that Morrison was in his underwear, Hanzo figured out where they had come from. Jesse's eyes were closed, indicating he was unconscious.

Hanzo thought it was probably for the best. Reaching forward, he grabbed Jesse's dirty wrist and didn't let go until he could feel the pulse for himself.

"Is he alright?" Lena asked.

"He'll be alright, but he needs medical attention." answered Morrison. "Here, Hanzo, can you take him back to the ship? The rest of us will deal with Reyes."

"I would like to help with Reyes." Hanzo said, just a little too quickly.

"Whatever." Morrison shrugged. "Genji, can you take him?"

"Very well." Genji replied.

With a grunt from each of them, Morrison gave Jesse to Genji.

"Ping us if you need help." said Morrison.

With a nod, Genji took off back towards where they'd come from. Hanzo shot him a tiny glance before turning to follow Morrison and Lena.

The farther down the hall they got, the thicker the lines of goo became. Hanzo ran his fingers over his pocket to make sure he still had the needle Moira had given him. Silently, they got about two thirds of the way towards the back door before they were interrupted.

'We have a problem.' Genji sent.

Hanzo's eyes opened wide with alertness as he spun a hundred and eighty degrees. To his relief, he could see the faint outline of his brother with Jesse over his shoulder on the other side of the hallway.

"What's the problem?" Morrison asked into his comm.

'The black tar has covered the exit.'

"Try threatening it with a knife. That's what worked for me."

Before Hanzo could disagree with Morrison's terrible idea, he was interrupted by the sound of his brother's blood-curdling scream.

Snapping open his eyes further, Hanzo took off running towards Genji. He arrived in seconds, but it was too late.

The black tendrils had separated Genji from Jesse and wrapped around their arms and legs. While Jesse was still unconscious, Genji shook his head desperately as he tried and failed to keep the goo from tearing off his visor. Hanzo lifted his pant leg and pulled out the knife strapped to his thigh, but found the goo didn't seem to care that much about being sliced.

"Tasukete!" Genji shouted.

Hanzo watched in morbid amazement as the tendrils began to drag his brother down the hallway. The black vines worked together and worked fast, communicating with each other well enough to move both Genji and Jesse faster than Hanzo could run after them.

"What the hell?" Morrison muttered as Hanzo ran past him.

Lena had better luck catching up to them, but was unable to free either one. She tried shooting the black web, but was stopped by two long tentacles of tar that dropped down from the ceiling and grabbed her blasters.

To Hanzo's horror, the vines returned to grab Lena by the arms. In just a second, they began to pull her up to the ceiling.

In a blur of blue light, Lena recalled. Hanzo yelped as she ended up right on top of him and sent him flying into the wall.

At first, Hanzo thought it was the vines that wrapped around his ankles that caused Lena to scream. But after twisting himself around to try to get away, he found it more likely that it was the pair of eyes popping into the mess of black that had scared her.

 _"Nani kore nda yo?!"_ Hanzo yelped.

Hanzo was unable to do anything else but stare in awe as the lines of webbing directly under the eyes morphed into the shape of a crude mouth. He continued to stand and stare as more tendrils began to reach towards him, but found himself on the ground with a sharp pain in his side as Lena put her hands around his waist and pulled him out of the way.

The face in the tar watched as they flew backwards into the far wall. Hanzo stepped forwards and turned as quickly as he could, but found that Lena had already been deeply ensnared.

"Oxton!" he shouted as Lena was dragged in the direction of Genji and Jesse, towards the end of the hall.

Lena looked ready to recall again, but was unable to as she was slammed against the ground hard enough to make her go limp. Hanzo tried to catch up to her body, but failed quickly.

 _"She'd not dead._ " said a new voice.

The voice was raspy and horrid. Hanzo looked back in the direction where he'd last seen the face in the wall, but found it was no longer there. He returned his gaze back down the hall to see that it had managed to reposition itself in the ground below his feet.

 _"I prefer them conscious._ " the voice followed.

This time, Hanzo could see the mouth on the face move along with the words.

'Out of the way, son.' Morrison sent.

Eyes wide and face dripping with sweat, Hanzo whirled around back towards the entrance to see Morrison with a loaded gun.

Seeing nothing else to do, Hanzo broke out into a run to get out from between Morrison and the far end of the hall. He positioned himself behind Morrison.

 _"It's been a long time, Jack._ "

"Yeah." Morrison replied. "And I gotta say, Gabe, you've really let yourself go."

With a cold wave of ice up his spine, it finally dawned on Hanzo that it was less a matter of what they were inside of and more a matter of who. Swallowing his shock, Hanzo nocked an arrow.

"Nah." said Morrison as he handed Hanzo the other gun. "You got the other nine rounds."

Morrison began to walk forward and fire in a straight line down the hallway before Hanzo had time to argue. Hanzo looped his bow over his shoulder and readied the gun. Careful not to hit any of his coworkers, Hanzo followed Morrison with an onslaught of bullets towards the ceiling, far wall, and the tendrils that tried to reach towards them.

 _"...down south in the land of traitors, rattle snakes and alligators,_ " Morrison sang, _"ride away, come away, ride away, come away..._ "

Hanzo couldn't tell how effective their strategy was. Chunks of goo rained down from the ceiling, but all their ammunition really seemed to be damaging was the far wall, which crumbled over and opened into a cavern that Hanzo couldn't make out much of.

For just a moment, Morrison stopped firing as Jesse, Lena, and Genji were all dragged into the cavern.

Hanzo was hit with the sudden suspicion they'd made a mistake by opening the cavern. As Morrison started to fire again, Hanzo remembered Moira's words.

 _"Anywhere on his body._ " she had said.

As quick as he could, Hanzo disengaged and reached into his pocket. They had nearly reached the open cavern by the time he stuck the needle into the first tendril he could see. Swiftly, he hit the plunger and injected the serum.

It was only when Morrison ran out of ammo that they realized the goo was no longer pulsing. Hanzo grabbed his gun back to make it look like he'd been firing to avoid having to explain to Morrison about the serum and where he'd gotten it from.

"Guess eighteen thousand rounds did the trick." Morrison said happily as he walked into the cavern. "Let's go get our teammates."

Hanzo followed Morrison into the cavern and took a look around.

The cavern was a square room about the size of Hanzo's living room. In the center of the room was a shapeless mass of black goo about the size of a horse. It seemed to be the birthplace of the tendrils, as they branched out in every direction from it. The tendrils continued into large cracks that filled the floor. Hanzo couldn't tell how long the cracks were, but he got the feeling they ran deep into the heart of the earth.

Hanzo felt about Reyes the opposite of something that he would want to run over to and shove his face inside of.

Genji, Lena, and Jesse had been pulled up against the left wall, their bodies still wrapped in the now-limp tendrils. From Genji's closed eyes, it seemed he'd fallen unconscious like the rest of them.

 _"System down._ " a new female voice stated before Hanzo could say anything. _"Restart in two minutes._ "

"I believe he's only unconscious." said Hanzo. "We have to kill him."

"I'm outta ammo. Guess I'll hack him to death."

Morrison buried the tip of his bayonet into Reyes' body with a grunt. Along with Hanzo, he raised an eyebrow in surprise when a panel fell open on Reyes' body.

The panel was square and large, about six feet by six feet. It opened it up an eerily smooth layer of black. Hanzo couldn't tell if it was a liquid or a gas, but it definitely didn't seem like a solid despite its evenness.

Hanzo wasn't sure why, but he got the strange feeling it was some kind of code.

The panel itself was completely grey save for the red numbers of a clock ticking down from a hundred and twenty seconds.

"Uh." Morrison stumbled. "What if instead of a system restart, we had a system shut down?"

 _"Manual turn-off required for shut down sequence. Press red button found through portal._ "

Hanzo searched the floor until he'd found a long piece of wood. Carefully, he stuck it into the inky black portal and continued to jab with it until he felt a click.

_"Must activate button with human hand."_

After a few fake outs, Hanzo managed to stick his hand through the portal. Immediately, he pulled it out with a scream of intense pain.

"You alright?" asked Morrison.

The pain had stopped instantly upon Hanzo's hand leaving the portal. He looked down at his hand to see that it seemed unharmed. After flexing his fingers, Hanzo found it was working as well as ever. Even more so, he found no residue on his skin.

"I appear to be fine." Hanzo answered.

"Did you feel anything?" Morrison replied.

"No. I did not have enough reach."

"Why did you scream?"

"It was extraordinarily painful."

Morrison didn't reply. Hanzo knew what he had to do.

"I must look inside." Hanzo announced. "Just for a moment."

"Scream if you need help."

Hanzo grit his teeth as he stood in front of the portal. He'd let his brother die once, and he had no plans on letting him die again. After sucking in a breath of air and forcing his eyes open, Hanzo plunged his head inside and out.

He'd been expecting the agony, but nothing had prepared him for the sudden pause of time. He'd intentionally timed his body to have himself back out after a fraction of a second to decrease the pain, and he could even feel his own hands pushing hard enough to have him flying back, but he still couldn't budge. His entire body was clearly paralyzed.

He couldn't even manage to breath.

A minute passed, and then an hour. Morrison and the others felt like a distant, fleeting memory. He was unsure how he was still alive, as Reyes should have woken back up. Not to mention the suffocation that should have hit him. He tried desperately to activate the suicide device at the top of his spinal chord, but was unable to move his eyes.

Although the experience was maddening, and although the feeling of a thousand burning hot knives against his face was enough to make him try and fail to close his eyes, Hanzo did manage to make out a red button in a sea of black. It was just a few feet away from him, and he might have been able to reach it had he had an arm out and jumped in much further.

After another hour of gut-wrenching horror, Hanzo felt himself sucking in a breath as reality returned. He just barely managed to process that he was in the middle of another shout, and didn't even feel a thing as he began to vomit on the floor by Morrison's feet.

"You good?" asked Morrison.

It took Hanzo a long time to answer. He felt like his brain was in two places at once. Or at least he did until the perception in his frontal lobe threw itself from across the room and smacked him in the forehead.

 _"Restart in sixty seconds._ "

"What?" Hanzo asked.

"What." Morrison replied.

"I was in there for hours."

"You were in there for less than a second."

It took a moment for Hanzo to comprehend what Morrison was telling him. But when he did, he began to feel sicker than he already had.

"I want to forget." he begged Morrison. "Please."

"What did you see?"

"A button. On the far wall, about a meter away. Please let me forg--"

The scene before Hanzo changed in an instant. He felt like his brain had lagged, as both he and Morrison were suddenly standing in different positions than they had been, and Morrison was sticking a small pen device in his pocket that Hanzo had never seen before. The last thing he could remember was sticking his arm through the portal and yelling in pain.

"What happened?" Hanzo asked Morrison.

"You stuck your head through that portal thing to see what was in it. You were only in there for a quarter of a second and said it felt like two hours." Morrison answered. "Then you asked me to wipe the memories, and I did. Got rid of the last thirty seconds."

Hanzo supposed that made sense. Although it seemed strange to think his perception of time had been so altered when the memory wipe had left him feeling like no time had passed at all.

"Oh." Hanzo replied, bored.

"Guess one of us is gonna have to plunge in there for real."

Hanzo felt his skin turn clammy white with the thought.

"It could take days of torment." said Hanzo. "At least from our perspective."

 _"Master Reyes' self-destruct button is guarded by four different levels of time-perception fluctuations, each exponentially more intense than the last. The total perceived time to press_ _the button would be one billion years._ _He wanted it to feel even longer, but was unable to create a program capable of altering perception any further._ "

All color left Hanzo's skin. His heart began to pound like it had never pounded before. He thought he just, just might be able to deal with the existence of what he was hearing about as long as the levels weren't themed.

 _"The levels are themed._ "

"What are the themes?" asked Morrison.

 _"Physical pain, boredom, fear, and shame._ "

"Lame."

Hanzo began to pull on the ends of his sweat-soaked hair with grit teeth.

"Those are the worst things." Hanzo stated. "What sort of horrible creature would define those things as utility?"

"I told you I wanted this guy dead." Morrison replied.

Morrison had a point.

"I could kill myself and then you could push my body into the button." Hanzo told Morrison.

_"Subject must be conscious."_

Hanzo felt his jaw unhinge.

"Why even have a self-destruct button?" he spat.

 _"Master Reyes believed he could more efficiently bring about his reign of terror by openly having a way to be defeated that he knew no human was strong enough to go through with._ "

"How much terror is Reyes planning on reigning?" asked Morrison.

 _"Although infinite terror is impossible, Master Reyes plans on bringing about as much terror as is physically possible within the laws of physics to everyone who lives now and will live. Which we currently estimate at nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine--_ "

"I get the picture."

Hanzo wiped a thick line of sweat from his forehead. He was almost certain that he was having a nightmare. He'd known for years that altering time perception was possible, but he'd never thought there was truly anyone evil enough to manipulate it in such a way.

 _"Reyes' power runs deep within the earth._ " the automated voice continued proudly. _"There will soon be nothing stopping his bidding._ "

"Sounds like Reyes." Morrison replied.

"One billion years of torment for one person is extreme, but it is still minuscule compared to all terror which is physically possible within the laws of physics to everyone who lives now and will live." Hanzo said. "Which makes it an unethical decision to not initiate self-destruct."

"Are you gonna jump in there again?"

"No. I am not capable of doing what is ethical in this situation."

Morrison rolled his eyes.

"Coward." Morrison stated as he lifted his arm and plunged his top half through the portal.

Hanzo ran forward and got behind Morrison. After a few seconds, a tiny click was heard over the sound of Morrison calling out in pain. The moment that Hanzo heard the click, Hanzo grabbed him by the waist and yanked him with enough force to send them both flying back into the wall.

Morrison stopped screaming with a tiny gasp.

"Wow." he said. "I would not recommend yelling in there. I didn't realize how hard it was gonna be to stop, and I had to listen to myself for a long time."

After escaping from Hanzo's grasp and brushing himself off, Morrison grabbed the pen-like device from his pocket. Hanzo watched with a jaw on the floor as he programmed it to wipe the previous minute.

"You have been sitting in agony for a billion years and that's all you have to say for yourself?!" Hanzo yelled.

"And I'm about to forget about it, if you don't mind. It sucked."

Morrison's eyes glazed over after he'd removed the pen from his neck. As if out of instinct, he put it back in his pocket.

"What just happened?" Morrison asked Hanzo.

"You subjected yourself to ten million lifetimes of torment to abolish an eldritch horror." Hanzo answered in thick awe.

"Guess that sounds like something I'd do."

"And then you wiped your memory."

"Yeah, I got that."

Morrison took a few steps over to Lena. He began to cut her free with a knife at his hip.

"Memories aside, should it not have done severe damage to your brain?" Hanzo questioned.

"Eh. Isn't much left to damage."

Hanzo blinked.

"Don't you understand?" he asked.

"Understand what?" Morrison replied as he slung Lena's body over his shoulder.

"You are the most ethical person to have ever lived."

Morrison shrugged.

"Take that, Jesus." said Morrison.

Desperately, Hanzo fell to his knees and clasped his hands with the sudden need to express himself.

"Morrison-san." Hanzo stumbled. "It is my great honor to have met you."

"...Don't make it weird."

 _"Self-destruct in sixty seconds._ "

"Shit!" Morrison followed as Lena began to shift.

 _"Please note that self-destruct sequence will reduce all matter inside facility to quarks_."

"...What's happening?" Lena muttered.

Hanzo rushed forward and began to help free his entangled team members. He ended up with his brother over his shoulders while Morrison carried Jesse and Lena.

The red timer was down to thirty seconds as they started to run.

"Looks like the exit isn't blocked off anymore." Morrison shouted to Hanzo.

_"Twenty...nineteen...eighteen..."_

Hanzo was strong, but his brother was heavy. Still, he willed his body to over-perform even harder than usual. He yelped when the tip of his Genji's sword struck him in the side before falling to the ground.

_"...fifteen...fourteen...thirteen..."_

In the dim light, Hanzo could see the base of the stairs. He accounted for the distance, the clock, and their speed as he calculated their chances of survival.

They weren't going to make it. Hanzo simply couldn't go fast enough to make up for the two or three seconds they were going to need.

_"...ten...nine...eight..."_

Time slowed down for Hanzo as Lena twisted her torso around and locked her eyes with his own.

"Have we got enough time?" she asked.

Before Hanzo could open his mouth to lie, Lena was hit with an expression that told Hanzo that his face had said it all.

Lena pulled a knife out of a sheath on her hip. Hanzo watched in disgust as she used it to pry out the chronal accelerator from her chest and back.

_"...five...four...three..."_

They had reached the base of the stairs when Lena had completely disconnected herself from the accelerator with a cry of thick pain. After sticking the knife through the shoulder straps, Lena pinned it to a tendril of black goo on the wall and gave it a punch.

With a flash of light, the web of tar disappeared and the solid grey of the stairway could be seen. It reappeared a second later, but something was different.

_"...five...four...three..."_

Morrison made it to the top of the stairs with two seconds to spare, and Hanzo made it with one.

Dropping Lena and Jesse, Morrison slammed the door to the facility shut. After a massive boom that was mostly blocked out by Hanzo's communicators sounded, the dust settled to reveal an underground facility-shaped hole in the dirt.

"Ana!" Morrison yelled into his comm. "Pick us up now! Winston, make Lena a new chronal accelerator!"

Hanzo dropped his brother next to Jesse. But to his horror, Lena was suddenly no longer a physical person. He could still make our her shape, but he could see right through her.

"Oxton!" Hanzo cried as Lena turned back into a solid.

Curled over on her side against the dirt, Lena clutched her frontside. Hanzo rushed towards her as quickly as he could and cradled her against his chest. Hugging her hard, he wrapped his arms around her back in a feeble attempt to stop the bleeding that he felt soaking his shirt.

Lena's form flickered into a ghost-like one once again. Hanzo looked down to see that even her blood stains had turned transparent. He felt himself start to sob, although his mind felt numb to the sensation.

A second later, Lena appeared back in his arms. Hanzo lifted her legs into his lap in the hopes it would provide her some sort of protection.

"She needs help!" Hanzo called to Morrison. "She's bleeding out."

"That's on the rescue team." Morrison replied.

Lena's physical body blinked in an out of existence in no pattern that Hanzo could pick up on. He tried to use his shirt as a crude bandage for her wounds, but each time she phased away, the scraps of clothing fell to the ground.

The ship nearly landed on top of them. After Morrison grabbed Genji and Jesse, Hanzo scooped up Lena and did his best to carry her into the ship.

"Have the biotics ready for Lena." Morrison shouted as the ship took off. "We got a short window."

Although her form continued to turn transparent for longer and longer intervals, Hanzo found he was still able to move her. So he kept his arms outright even when she had no weight.

"Keep holding her." Angela ordered as she rushed forwards with her staff. "Ana, she needs blood."

Hanzo nodded while Ana rolled over a cart with a red bag. In short bursts while Lena was physical, Angela managed to close Lena's wounds with her biotic staff. But the blood transfusion proved itself to be a bit trickier as the needle had to be constantly reattached to Lena's arm.

Finally, Lena disappeared altogether. The remaining blood from the bag trickled out onto the floor.

"I have done all I can." Angela announced. "She should be alive when she reappears, but I cannot say for sure. Next patient, please."

Morrison offered both Jesse and Genji's bodies to Angela. Angela pointed to a cot to her left, which Morrison tossed Jesse and Genji on with a grunt. A minute later, they were both rushed behind a white curtain.

"Will Oxton be alright?" Hanzo asked Ana.

Ana glanced over Hanzo's shoulder.

"Why don't you ask her?" she replied.

With surprise, Hanzo turned on his heels to see Lena, once again translucent. She was standing, and no longer bleeding, but she looked very tired.

But at least she wasn't falling through the floor. Which seemed impossible to Hanzo, although he supposed everything about Lena's situation seemed impossible.

"I'll be fine, love." said Lena. "I might disappear for a few hours, but I'll be fine."

"How will you survive? Can you eat?"

"Time doesn't pass for me when I'm away. So unless Winston takes a million years to build a new accelerator, I should--"

Without so much as a flash, Lena was gone. Still, Hanzo felt much better.

"Uh, Hanzo?" Fareeha asked as she tapped him on the shoulder.

"What?"

"What's that?"

Fareeha pointed towards Hanzo's side. Hanzo looked down to see that his shirt and pants were soaked. When he touched the fabric with his finger, it came back red.

"Blood." Hanzo answered as he blacked out.


	16. goddamn

_April 16th, 2077_

Hanzo's eyes snapped open to see the roof of the dropship. He recognized it as the same one he'd been in before, but it seemed to be a lot less crowded. Angela and Winston were the only two occupants he could see.

Winston looked like he was waiting for something.

"Is he alright?" Hanzo coughed. "Are they alright?"

"McCree and Genji are both fine. We are still waiting for Lena to reappear." Angela answered.

"Where are they?"

"In their rooms, I assume. Genji and McCree were both discharged last night. But you were still asleep after being treated, so I let you spend the night here."

"Does that mean I can leave?"

"In just a moment. I need to--"

Angela was interrupted by the sudden appearance of a figure.

"--be fine." Lena finished.

"Winston, now!" Angela yelled.

Holding out a new chronal accelerator, Winston leapt forward and brought the straps over Lena's transparent shoulders. Hanzo watched in awe as she immediately turned opaque.

"Oh, I'm back." Lena followed happily.

"I just need to fuse it in." said Angela. "Would you mind taking a seat?"

Lena nodded and sat down at the cot next to Hanzo. Angela pulled out a needle of anesthetic and a blowtorch before moving the curtain so that it covered the both of them.

"How are you feeling, Hanzo?" asked Winston.

Hanzo looked down to see that all he was wearing was a tiny hospital gown.

"Overdressed." he replied.

"Heard you and Morrison took out Gabriel Reyes."

The memories of the day prior all came down at Hanzo at once. Immediately, his eyes turned into wide disks.

"Morrison-san!" Hanzo shouted.

"Huh?" a familiar voice replied.

Hanzo looked over to see that Morrison was walking up to the ship. After entering, Morrison took a seat at the end of Hanzo's cot.

"You must hear what Morrison-san did." Hanzo said to Winston.

"Stop calling me that." Morrison-san replied.

"Very well. You must hear what Morri-san did."

Winston looked very confused. Angela and Lena came out from behind the curtain.

"Thanks, doc!" Lena said as she touched her chest.

"No running for twelve hours." Angela warned.

"You want your memory wiped?" asked Morrison.

Lena's smile faltered for just a short second. Hanzo wasn't sure if he was imagining it when she snuck a glance at him.

"Absolutely!" Lena replied with a new smile. "Don't wanna be dreaming about goo for the rest of my life, if you don't mind."

Lena was silent as she passed by Hanzo. Hanzo was unsure if she made any attempt to look at him, as he turned his gaze away. He set his face in stone as Morrison brought the pen up to her neck.

Hanzo couldn't say he blamed her.

"What's happening?" Lena asked once Morrison had removed the pen.

"You got your memory wiped." Morrison replied. "McCree's back, and Reyes is dead."

"McCree's back? I'll go find him!"

Lena was out the door like a shot.

"Let me just get you your clothing." Angela told Hanzo. "I had McCree grab some from your room, as your old clothing was dirty."

Hanzo was handed a fresh yukata, but it wasn't really what was on his mind.

"Morri-san is a hero." Hanzo announced. "He has suffered greatly for all of us."

"He sure has." Angela replied.

"No, you don't understand. Morri-san has willingly suffered for a billion years to prevent a trillion years suffering to us all."

Angela and Winston both blinked.

"The hell are you talking about, son?" asked Morrison.

With a drop of his jaw, Hanzo turned to Morrison and stared.

"How much pain-killer did you give him?" Winston muttered to Angela.

Both Winston and Angela left shortly after, as Morrison announced that he needed Hanzo to help him with a mission report. Angela told Hanzo that he was free to go, but warned him to stay away from staircases and to not take any drugs for at least the rest of his life.

"Why did you lie!?" Hanzo yelped.

"I dunno." Morrison shrugged. "Thought it might piss you off."

"But you will tell people, won't you?"

"Nah."

Hanzo grit his teeth with irritation. Morrison stared back blankly.

"You deserve to be treated as a god." spat Hanzo.

"Reyes is dead. That's all I need."

After a long moment of silence, Hanzo let out a long sigh. He forced himself to suppress the urge to drop to his knees and state his lifetime servitude to Morrison.

"McCree's in the breakroom if you wanna see him." Morrison followed.

Hanzo's eyes snapped open with interest.

"Hmm?" he asked.

"Yeah. They're having a welcome party right now."

Hanzo looked up as Morrison tossed him a small bag. He opened the bag to see that it contained his dirty clothes, shoes, and gourd of sake.

"We put your bow back in your room." said Morrison.

"Thank you." Hanzo replied.

After slipping on his shoes, Hanzo stood up next to Morrison. He took a celebratory swig of sake from his gourd before tying it back to his hip.

"I just remembered that you got a blood transplant." Morrison stated.

"Mhh." Hanzo hummed.

"Which means I probably should have stopped you from drinking."

"I will be... _oooohhhh._ "

Tripping over his own feet, Hanzo would have crashed into the ground had Morrison not caught him.

"Guess I'm walking you to the breakroom." Morrison said.

"I am very drunk." Hanzo slurred.

"You're fine."

The edges of Hanzo's perception were mush as they turned the corner to the breakroom. Hanzo was limp enough to need Morrison to half drag him.

The breakroom door opened to reveal Angela, Lena, Ana, Reinhardt, Hana, and Jesse.

Jesse was standing in the center of the room. The first thing Hanzo noticed was that his arm was still gone. His hair had been cut short, and his beard had been shaved, most likely for medical reasons. It was a bit of a shocking sight, but Hanzo forgot about it immediately as Jesse's face broke into a wide smile.

"Hanzo!" Jesse greeted. "How you do--"

Jesse was cut off as Hanzo broke into a run and wrapped his arms around his chest. Although Hanzo had only been intending to go for a hug, they both ended up on the floor.

"Oh, yeah, he's shit faced." Morrison said as he took a seat next to Ana.

"You let him drink!?" Angela yelped.

"...I'm not his father."

Ana moved a pillow out of Morrison's way. Morrison rested his head against her shoulder when it was offered.

"Aitakatta yo." Hanzo muttered as he laid his head on Jesse's chest.

"I can't breathe." Jesse replied.

Hanzo only curled up into a tighter ball as he felt hands try to grab him and pull.

"He's so heavy." said Hana. "Someone help me."

Reinhardt cleared his throat.

"I will handle this!" he announced.

Hanzo quickly found himself airborne as he was lifted and placed on Reinhardt's left shoulder. Hanzo looked to his right just in time to see Jesse get placed on shoulder beside him.

"Tiny men!" Reinhardt bellowed with pride.

"This the view you always getting, Rein?" Jesse asked.

"Yes!"

"That's something right there. You know, I've always wondered. What's it feel like always being the biggest guy in the room?"

"Perpetually satisfying!"

Ana made an indescribable face.

"Speaking of Reinhardt and perpetual satisfaction..." Hana started. "Is he ever going to tell us how big it is?"

With a tiny sound of protest, Angela's jaw dropped.

"Hana!" Angela scolded. "You can't ask people the size of their--"

"Twenty six centimeters!" Reinhardt interrupted.

"That is twice as long as any phallus should be." Hanzo muttered.

Jesse, Reinhardt, and Lena all shot Hanzo looks of confusion. Hana, Angela, Ana, and Morrison all nodded.

"There is beauty in modesty." Hanzo continued. "Not to mention comfort."

After sucking in a breath of overdone reluctance, Jesse opened his mouth to speak.

"Makes me sad to say," Jesse muttered, "but I don't reckon I'd be able to help you too much with that."

"I would make an exception for you." Hanzo replied.

Jesse's reaction was to cough into his fist. Hanzo failed to notice the money that Angela passed to Ana.

"Ain't you sweet." Jesse muttered.

"Of course." Hanzo replied. "Intoxicated Japanese men are known for their outstanding chivalry."

Hana and Genji both burst out laughing, but not as hard as Reinhardt, who bent in half far enough to send Hanzo tumbling onto the couch.

"Ha!" Reinhardt said as he pointed. "It's funny because intoxicated Japanese men are not known for outstanding chivalry!"

As Angela covered her face and groaned, Hanzo did his best to stand back up. He only managed after Jesse, who had also fallen, lent him a hand.

Hanzo's first instinct upon returning upright was to grab onto Jesse's side and not let go as Jesse made his way over to Ana.

Jesse didn't seem to mind.

"I'm so happy to have you back, Jesse." said Ana.

"Yeah, I'm glad to be back." Jesse replied.

"Hanzo kept me company while you were gone."

"Is that right now?"

"We went through your stuff." Hanzo slurred.

"...Course you did."

"What do you think of the new eye, Jesse?" Ana asked.

"Pretty neat." Jesse answered. "Winston's checking it for any weird shit tomorrow to see if we need to pull it."

"You know, Ana, there are procedures we could look into to repair your eye." said Angela.

"You're very kind, but I'm comfortable with who I am now." Ana replied. "It's a good reminder."

Jesse turned to Ana with a brow set with skepticism.

"Ana, you're a sniper." he stated.

Eventually, Jesse had to use the bathroom. Hanzo refused to let go for the walk over, but was pried off as they arrived.

"Hanzo, you gotta let go." Jesse laughed. "Just for a minute. Let me pee."

With a tiny noise of disapproval, Hanzo refused.

"You can wait right here for me, alright?" Jesse followed. "How about that."

Hanzo frowned but complied. After forcing himself to rip his hands off of Jesse, he took a seat with his back to the wall.

True to his word, Jesse was only gone for a minute. Hanzo shot up onto his feet the moment Jesse returned.

"You miss me?" Jesse asked as Hanzo reattached himself to his side.

"Totemo." Hanzo replied.

"Take that as a yes."

"If we were not in public, I would kiss you."

"...What kinda kiss we talking?"

"Kyū jū ichi shigoto-chū."

The walk back to the couch was a bit tricky, but Hanzo didn't mind. He was happy enough to melt into Jesse's shoulder after they'd taken a seat.

Hanzo closed his eyes, just for a moment as Jesse shifted. When he opened them, he accidentally locked gazes with Lena.

Lena looked away almost immediately and turned her attention back to Angela. Hanzo got the impression that her eyes had only been on him out of circumstance.

"I want her to like me." Hanzo mumbled.

"Hmm?" asked Jesse.

"I want Oxton to care for me."

"Seems a little sudden."

"I don't know how to explain."

Jesse's mouth twisted with thought.

"Anything I can do to help?" he asked.

Hanzo thought to himself before answering. He eventually realized that getting Jesse back in near perfect health and destroying a demon bent on reigning terror until the heat death of the universe was probably enough of a reward.

"I suppose I cannot have everything." Hanzo stated.

"That's the spirit. Why don't you play with this while I talk to Angela?"

Hanzo was handed a thin, bendable wire, which he took with great interest. First, he wrapped it around his little finger. Then, he continued around his ring finger. A minute later and he'd wrapped the wire in loops around all five of his fingers.

"Don't hurt yourself." Jesse said as he took the wire back.

Sleepy, Hanzo closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he found he was once again in a hospital cot.

 _"Uuuhhgg_." Hanzo groaned.

"Serves you right for drinking." Angela replied.

Hanzo took a look around to see Angela was the only one in the room. The sun was seeping in through the window, indicating it was morning.

Angela took a step towards him and handed him a small cocktail. Hanzo downed it and felt much better in less than a minute. Still, he didn't think he'd be drinking again anytime soon.

"Why am I in the hospital?" asked Hanzo. "Did I injure myself?"

"No, I just wanted to make sure you did not asphyxiate on your own vomit, so I had you spend the night here after you passed out."

Hanzo nodded.

"You are free to go whenever you wish." Angela followed as she left the room. "But let's not go for a third night under my care."

On sore feet, Hanzo took a stand to see that he was wearing the same set of clothing he'd been wearing the night before. After going to slip on his shoes, he found a note tucked into the straps.

_Hanzo,_

_You didn't really seem like you were in the best state last night for me to say what I wanted to say. I'm in Florence right now getting my arm fixed, and I won't be back until late tonight. If you want to meet me for dinner, I'll be looking for somewhere to eat around eight thirty. And if you can't come or just don't want to, I'll see you tomorrow._

_\--JM_

Hanzo checked the time on his phone to see that it was about noon. Groaning to himself, he left the medical bay in favor of the training grounds.

Three hours later, Hanzo returned to his quarters and got to work on cleaning himself. He'd obviously been scrubbed down by Angela after escaping Reyes the day prior, but it wasn't quite enough to satisfy him.

Washing his hair had never felt so nice.

Hanzo still ended up with a few hours to spare. Needing someone to talk to, Hanzo invited Moira over to his quarters for tea.

"You believe me?" Hanzo asked Moira.

"Of course I believe you." Moira replied. "Why do you think I grew to fear Gabriel Reyes so heavily?"

As she spoke, Moira pulled a photo out of her pocket. Hanzo took a look at it over her shoulder to see that it was an old team shot. Along with his brother, he spotted Jesse, Moira, Ana, Reinhardt, Angela, Morrison, and Reyes. Hanzo watched as Moira touched Morrison's face.

"A billion years." she stated in awe. "I suppose that merits him the most ethical person to have ever lived."

"Yes, that is what I thought too."

"And therefore, I cannot deny the heavy indications of my misjudgment towards him."

Moira fell silent for a few long moments. A question popped into Hanzo's head.

"What will you do now?" asked Hanzo.

"I don't know."

Hanzo nodded with as much understanding as he could manage.

"Gabriel is gone." Moira followed. "That is what matters to me, at least for now."

Moira left shortly after to clean her quarters. Hanzo bid her goodbye after walking her to her door.

As Hanzo took off down the halls in search of another person, he wondered what Overwatch would do with Moira. Due to the flimsy nature of Hanzo's lie regarding where he'd gotten his information, Morrison would surely figure out that it had been from Moira.

Still, Hanzo thought it unlikely that he'd be stupid enough to like her less. He shook his thoughts away as he knocked at Ana's office door.

"Come in." Ana said from inside.

Hanzo opened the door and took a seat.

"What would you like from me?" Ana followed.

"I would like to go to Italy to meet with agent McCree." answered Hanzo.

"Why?"

"I worry for him."

"The facility we sent him to is perfectly safe."

"I am aware of the foolishness, but I would feel much better if I was with him."

Ana shrugged.

"Alright." she replied. "You can ship out."

"Thank you." Hanzo said as he stood.

"We'll pick you both up at eleven."

Hanzo made his way out the door and down to the ship bay. He found himself in Florence in just a few minutes with barely enough time to change into undercover clothes. Carefully, he stepped onto the bridge before him while the ship hovered over the water.

The dropship took off as soon as Hanzo's feet were on the ground.

The city was beautiful, although Hanzo had little interest. He checked the time to see that it was eight.

"I've arrived." Hanzo said into his communicator.

'Oh, you came.' Jesse replied. 'Gimme a few minutes.'

"Where should we meet?"

'I'm near the Santa Marina cathedral. How about you find a restaurant near there and send me the address?'

"Very well."

Upon ending his conversation with Jesse, Hanzo caught the first bus he could. He wasn't particularly picky where they went, so he chose the first place he could that looked like it was in Jesse's price range and sent the address.

Fifteen minutes later, Jesse greeted him with a wave of a new arm.

Jesse was dressed down, also in standard undercover attire. With his new hair and lack of beard, he almost looked like a different person. At least until they got a little closer.

"I do not speak Italian." Hanzo admitted.

"That's alright." Jesse replied. "I've seen a bunch of spaghetti westerns, so it'll come naturally to me."

"Wasn't your mother Italian?"

"I think she was Mexican."

"You _think?"_

"I never asked."

"Did she speak any languages besides English?"

"Spanish and Italian."

"...We will go inside."

Jesse shrugged and led the way. Hanzo was happy to follow.

They were attended to quickly. Jesse ended up requesting a table right next to the exit, although Hanzo was unsure why. Furthermore, Jesse started to become visibly anxious as the waitress left.

"Are you alright?" Hanzo asked as he opened his menu.

"Yeah." Jesse said with a tiny start. "Yeah. I'm doing pretty alright."

"Are you truly?"

"Seems weird to say, but I am. Can't remember a thing. Honestly, was pretty much just like waking up with a new eye that can zoom in on stuff."

Hanzo snuck a glance at Jesse's yellow eye. Other than the color, it looked the same as the old one.

"You are going to keep it?" Hanzo pushed.

"Seems practical. Winston scanned it for mind-control shit and tracking stuff, and everything came up negative."

"I admire your choice to honor practicality."

"Yeah, reckoned you would."

The conversation lulled as a waitress came to take their orders.

"Número ocho." said Jesse.

"Otto?" the waitress replied.

"...Si."

Hanzo pointed to a pasta that didn't look too threatening.

"Él tendrá un zumo de naranja." Jesse followed to the waitress.

"Che cosa?" she asked.

"Uhhh....arancione..."

Jesse made a drinking motion with his hands.

"Ah, succo d'arancia." said the waitress.

"And no, uh," Jesse stumbled, "no blocchi freddi."

"No ghiaccio?"

"...Si."

The waitress left for the kitchen.

"May I ask what happened last night?" Hanzo questioned.

"Last night?" Jesse replied. "Nothing much. Uh, we watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas and you started crying cause you said it was just like your life. Then you fell asleep in Ana's lap."

"...Should I be ashamed?"

"Nah. Everybody likes you now."

Hanzo took a long look at Jesse's face, trying to read him. It was subtle, and Hanzo wasn't the best at identifying emotions, but he could tell that Jesse was still a bit nervous.

"What?" asked Hanzo.

"Everybody thought it was real cute. And they like you better now."

Hanzo wasn't sure he understood, although he supposed he was happy enough to take Jesse's word for it.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?" Hanzo asked.

The levels of anxiety on Jesse's face increased dramatically, although only for a quick second.

"Fore I get into that," Jesse started, "I just wanna let you know that--"

Jesse cut himself off as the waitress came by with a glass of orange juice. She set it on the table in front of Hanzo before taking off again for the kitchen.

"I did not order this." Hanzo said once she'd left.

"I ordered it for you."

"Why?"

"Thought you could use something to drink."

As he spoke, Jesse reached into his pocket and pulled out a thin, white object. Hanzo didn't realize until Jesse had pulled the paper away that it was a drinking straw.

"Use this." Jesse followed as he pulled up his cuff and dropped the straw into the orange juice.

The glass of juice was pushed towards Hanzo.

"You are acting strange." said Hanzo.

A twenty dollar bill fell out of the same cuff Jesse had pulled up. Jesse pushed it back in with a look of embarrassment.

"Don't worry about it." he replied.

The waitress came with their food. Hanzo was happy to see the portion sizes were small. Absentmindedly, he took a sip of his juice before digging into the pasta.

"What were you saying?" Hanzo asked.

"Oh." Jesse replied. "I just wanted to say that I'm doing alright."

"You've said this prior."

"Yeah, but I wanted to say it again."

Hanzo shot Jesse a questioning glance as he ate.

"I'm alright with where my life is right now." Jesse followed after he'd finished chewing on his bite of pizza. "And I got plenty of friends."

"...I will keep that in mind."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can handle disappointment."

Hanzo fell silent and went back to eating. Jesse's answer had done nothing to clear his confusion. As Jesse stared at the end of his fork with his yellow eye, Hanzo continued to suck through the straw of his juice.

"There is something in my drink." Hanzo realized.

Jesse put the fork down and began to drum the silver fingers of his new hand against the table. He turned his gaze away from Hanzo and seemed unable to bring it back.

"Uhuh." Jesse replied.

Carefully, Hanzo used his straw to fish out the object. It took him a few tries, but he managed.

"It is a ring." Hanzo stated as he placed it in his hand.

"...That it is." Jesse coughed.

The ring was a solid, silver band. Hanzo squinted to see that etched around the outside was a dragon with a long tail that wrapped around the band and ended up in its mouth.

"I don't understand." said Hanzo. "Did you get me this?"

"Yeah. With two months salary."

"Two months?"

"It's an engagement ring."

Hanzo raised an eyebrow in thick confusion. He could only think of one obvious way to interpret what was going on, but the interpretation was so absurd that Hanzo couldn't humor it.

"For?" he asked.

Jesse began to rub his forehead with a little sigh, hiding his face with the gesture in the process.

"Hanzo," Jesse muttered. "I'm asking you to marry me."

The dawning realization that hit Hanzo left him with a pink face and a pounding heart. He placed the ring gingerly on a napkin before shoving his face into his arms.

"Why?" Hanzo asked into his elbows.

"Well, I, uh." Jesse stammered. "I reckon I love you."

Hanzo tightened his hands around his head as he was overtaken with an overwhelming mixture of pleasure and anxiety. He couldn't remember the last time he'd flushed, or the last time he'd been so lost for words. His turmoil only increased when he realized that the reason Jesse had put them near the exit was so he'd have the easiest time leaving the restaurant had the gesture made him uncomfortable.

It was one of the kindest things that had ever been done for Hanzo, although completely unnecessary.

"You are a mad man." Hanzo choked.

"How?" Jesse replied.

"You've known me for eighteen months, and you consider this enough time to ask me to die by your side?"

"Yes."

"And you, when considering who you are, want the government to become involved in our personal lives?"

"Yes."

"You want to have a frivolous ceremony that ends with us kissing in front of our friends?"

"Yes."

Hanzo shook his head with wonder. Finally ready to face reality again, Hanzo lifted his head up and hoped his face wasn't too pink.

Although he still couldn't meet Jesse's gaze.

"Do Americans truly kiss their lovers in public?" asked Hanzo.

With an eyebrow raised, Jesse chewed on the end of his tooth pick.

"So kissing in public's where you draw the line, huh?" Jesse mused.

"Kissing is _personal._ "

Jesse sighed and looked back down at his half-finished pizza.

"I don't really care about a wedding." he said. "I just wanna be with you."

"You do not want to be with me." Hanzo replied.

"Do you wanna be with me?"

"That is besides the point."

"Why don't you answer me anyways?"

Hanzo took another sip of his juice, just to cool himself down.

"I would not be opposed." he mumbled.

The smile that spread itself across Jesse's face was so warm that Hanzo ended up needing all his will to keep himself from smiling in return.

"That does not mean I should." Hanzo followed.

"Why? Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be together."

Hanzo's eyebrows came together as he thought.

"I am a very strange man." he started.

"I've noticed." Jesse replied.

"I am very compulsive. I will never want to move in with you full time."

"I can live with that."

Hanzo gave Jesse's face a glance to see that it was painted with sincerity. Tentatively, Hanzo moved onto the next hesitation that popped into his mind.

"I'm a very promiscuous person and I have no desire to be sexually exclusive." Hanzo admitted.

"I can live with that." Jesse repeated.

"If I ever have children, I will have them with someone else."

"Reckon you might have to."

"I would be tolerant of you raising children independently of me, but I will judge you harshly if the children are not adopted."

"I can live with that."

"I doubt I will ever retire. If I'm given the technological opportunity to become a god-like being so that I can continue with my political pursuits, I will most likely take it, no matter the existential consequence."

"...I can live with that."

"And, uh, I kick. In my sleep."

"I've been living with that."

Hanzo smiled as he remembered the few nights he'd spent with Jesse. The knowledge that he could have more if he played his cards right was as exciting as it was terrifying. He finally mustered up the courage to look back at Jesse, who had been staring him down with the softest pair of eyes for the past minute.

"What?" asked Hanzo. "What is that face?"

"Really wanna kiss you."

There was something about Jesse's answer that made the situation suddenly feel much more real. Hanzo shoved his face back in his arms and prayed that no one was staring at him.

"We are in public." he muttered.

"I wasn't gonna do it here."

"...Then perhaps we should get the check."

By the time Hanzo wrenched his head out of his hands, Jesse had flagged down the waitress in a shot.

"Conto?" the waitress asked.

"...Si." Jesse replied.

While Jesse dealt with the check, Hanzo took another look at the ring on the napkin. It was quite beautiful, and he could tell it was well made. He used his straw to dip it into Jesse's water and clean it off while Jesse's eyebrows raised into what was left of his bangs.

"Well?" asked Jesse.

"What?"

"You wanna marry me?"

Hanzo sighed as he touched the ring. He thought long and hard before answering.

"If you can manage to tolerate me for five years." Hanzo started slowly. "And still wish to wed. Then yes, I will marry you."

"So that means you wanna...be with me?"

"Yes."

Jesse had been smiling for an absurd amount of time, so it only looked more ridiculous when his smile widened.

"In the meantime, how would you feel if I still wore the ring?" Hanzo asked.

"I ain't stopping you."

Silently, Hanzo slipped the band onto his left ring finger. It fit perfectly.

Hanzo hid his fingers just in time as the waitress came to pick up the check. Jesse slipped her a twenty dollar bill, which she took with great interest.

"I gotta be back to the technicians soon." Jesse said once the waitress had left. "They still gotta make sure my arm's working alright."

"How long will it take?" asked Hanzo.

"An hour, maybe."

"I do not mind waiting."

"You wanna walk with me?"

"Very much."

A long moment of silence passed, giving Hanzo the opportunity to realize how hard his heart had been pounding and how shallow his breath had become. He set his face like stone as the waitress came back.

"You ready?" Jesse asked as he slipped his card back into his wallet.

Hanzo looked down.

"I need a minute before I am ready to stand." he mumbled.

"Why?"

Hanzo said nothing.

"My god." Jesse followed. "You got an--"

"Do not say a word."

"How the hell did you get a..."

With a tiny scoff of humiliation, Hanzo stared at his finished orange juice glass.

"I started thinking of kissing." Hanzo said to the juice. "And then I started thinking of--other actives."

"While I was professing my love?" Jesse replied.

"I can multitask. Can you not?"

"Just tuck it."

Hanzo looked away and pretended Jesse wasn't staring at him with unadulterated amusement as he went through with the suggestion. An erection in public usually wouldn't have been a problem, had he not been wearing undercover jeans.

"I am ready." Hanzo stated.

"Good for you."

The night air was welcome on Hanzo's skin as he left the restaurant. Jesse pointed across the square to a small, sleek building.

"That's where I'm getting my arm fixed." Jesse said as they started to walk.

"I will wait by the fountain."

Jesse nodded. When they got to the fountain in the center, Hanzo took a seat on the concrete rim around it.

"I'll--" Jesse stuttered. "I'll see you soon."

"Yes."

Jesse still looked like he wanted to say more, but after glancing at the time on his phone, only gave a look of reluctance before turning around and breaking into a jog towards the building. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to watch Jesse from behind, Hanzo watched him the whole way.

The following hour was tediously long. Hanzo sat on his knees and tried to meditate, but found his fantasies too vivid to collect and the sensations in his body too wild to observe with any dignity. He finally, finally managed to tether himself on the feeling of elation, and examined a few of his underlying anxieties regarding fear of loss and rejection.

When Jesse came out of the building, he broke off into another jog. And when he got to the fountain, his eyes were bright with amazement.

"Howdy." Jesse greeted.

"Hello." Hanzo replied.

Jesse was panting as he smiled wide once again. Hanzo did the same, although he tried not to.

"I'm guessing you don't wanna stay in Florence?" asked Jesse.

"I would rather not stay in public."

It was only because he was watching so intently that Hanzo noticed the spark that flashed behind Jesse's eyes.

"Amari-san mentioned picking us both up at eleven." Hanzo followed.

"Shit, forgot about that."

"You forgot about our jobs?"

"...I ain't really thinking straight."

Hanzo checked the time. The ship was coming to get them where he had been dropped off, in a lesser populated part of town. It was a bit of a walk, and Hanzo wasn't sure they'd be able to make it in time.

"It is best we catch a bus." he stated.

"Sounds good."

The walk to the bus stop was short and the bus came almost immediately. Hanzo left a few inches of space between the two of them. To his horror, he quickly learned that Jesse was capable of willingly participating in conversations with others on public transportation.

Once, Hanzo saw Jesse's hand move to hover over his knee. However, Jesse pulled it back almost immediately.

Thankfully, the bus ride wasn't too long and Jesse was forced to bid the eighty year old woman who he was flirting with goodbye. Hanzo was silent as they got off the bus and stepped into the night.

"How much time do we have?" Jesse asked.

"Ten minutes." Hanzo replied. "And it's a seven minute walk."

There were very few people on the street, which made it easy for them both to break into a run.

"Damn." Jesse stated.

"Why?" asked Hanzo.

"Was hoping we had time to take a detour."

"To do what?"

"...What do you think?"

Hanzo shut up quick as they continued to run. He snuck a peek at Jesse's face and found himself momentarily unable not to fixate on his mouth.

They came to the bridge by the water where Hanzo had been dropped off. Hanzo looked up, but couldn't see any signs of the ship. After they'd slowed to a stop, Hanzo took a seat on the edge and let his legs dangle off the side. He turned his eyes to the water below and kept them there as he felt Jesse take a seat to his right.

"Morrison, you got a ship coming?" Jesse asked into his comm.

'Yeah, Ana should be there in two minutes.'

From his slightly raised view, Hanzo could spot a few people in the dark. Although none of them were particularly close by.

"Guess we got a little time on our hands." said Jesse.

"A very small amount."

"You consider this public?"

Hanzo groaned as he covered his face with his hands once again. He could no longer bear to look at Jesse's face, as it made his heart pound so hard it was painful.

"I will die." Hanzo whispered.

"You're so pretty."

"You are not helping."

Although he couldn't see much, Hanzo could tell that Jesse was smiling at him.

"You got every right to say no," Jesse started slowly, "but can I hold you?"

Hanzo took a quick look to both his right and his left to see no one.

"So be it." he groaned.

"That's the spirit."

Hanzo did his best not to yelp as Jesse's right hand touched his left arm and Jesse's left hand wrapped around his back. After a short moment of hesitation, Hanzo accepted his fate and let his head fall into Jesse's chest.

Jesse touched Hanzo's hairline with his cheek.

"Was that so hard?" asked Jesse.

Wanting to prove himself as someone who had dignity, Hanzo did his best to look Jesse in the eyes. Still, he shut his eyes immediately when he saw how intently Jesse was staring back at him.

Jesse's beard had far from grown back, but he'd managed to gain a thin layer of stumble. It did very little to aid Hanzo's goal of calming down.

"You can't even look at me, huh." Jesse followed.

"Must you be so handsome?" Hanzo asked.

"I ain't gonna kiss you unless you ask."

"The ship will be back soon."

"We got like forty seconds till it's in range to see us."

Hanzo surprised himself when he willed his eyes open and tipped his own chin up. He found that Jesse was still staring right back at him. Desperately, Hanzo tensed his core in an effort to stop himself from trembling, although he was unsuccessful.

Jesse had a very nice mouth.

"Make it quick." Hanzo muttered.

The look of interest that passed through Jesse's eyes was almost intoxicating.

"No tongue." Hanzo followed.

"Course not." Jesse replied. "Can't have tongue on a first--"

In a snap, Hanzo decided that he'd waited enough and grabbed Jesse's face with his hands. His anxieties melted the second their mouths made contact.

In an attempt to give himself as little time as possible to overthink things, Hanzo had hit Jesse's mouth fast. Jesse made a tiny noise before squeezing Hanzo's waist with both hands and returning the gesture with enough force to send them both tumbling sideways onto the concrete of the bridge. Less than a moment passed before their mouths started to roam, and Hanzo's instinctual attempts to deepen the kiss were more than accepted. Hanzo slid his hands up from Jesse's face and into his hair, pulling him as close as he could manage.

There was tongue.

A sharp noise caused the two of them to break apart in an instant. Panting hard, they both looked out in opposite directions from one another.

After giving it a moment of thought, Hanzo realized the noise was only a distant car horn. However, it was most likely for the best, as an Overwatch ship began to drop into view from the dark sky.

Hanzo did his best to dust off his clothing.

"Goddamn." Jesse panted.

"Is that all you have to say?" Hanzo muttered in response.

"Hey, don't blame me. You made me forget how to breathe."

The ship fell before the two of them. The door rose up almost immediately, giving Hanzo a shot of Ana's boots before the rest of her came into view.

"Hello." she greeted.

"...Howdy." Jesse replied.

Hanzo's heart rate nearly doubled as Ana squinted at the two of them.

"Are you two all right?" asked Ana. "You look like someone died."

"We ran here." Hanzo answered.

"Oh. Come inside."

Thankful that his penis was still tucked into the waistband of his underwear, Hanzo stepped into the dropship after Jesse.

"How's the new arm?" Ana asked Jesse.

Jesse gave the air a punch before answering.

"Feels pretty good." he replied. "Just like the old one, cept no chipped paint."

"It will get there." Ana chuckled. "But in any case, I assume you can still help me organize my office when we get back?"

For a tiny fraction of a second, Jesse's face fell.

"Did I say I was gonna do that?" Jesse slowly asked as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Yes. You were supposed to help me three days ago, but you'd gotten yourself captured."

"Are you sure you wanna do that today? It's pretty late."

"I'm certain. Angela has been getting fussy."

Jesse snuck a quick glance in Hanzo's direction. With a soft mouth, Hanzo gestured with his head towards Ana.

"Sure, I'll help." said Jesse. "How, uh, how long do you reckon it'll take?"

"Half hour to an hour." Ana replied. "You'll be free by midnight."

"...Good to know. I'm gonna use the bathroom."

Jesse took off towards the end of the ship. Quickly, Hanzo turned his head so that they'd have a moment to exchange glances with Jesse as he walked by.

 _'Your place, or mine?'_ Jesse slowly mouthed.

 _'Mine._ ' Hanzo mouthed in return.

Jesse disappeared behind the door. Hanzo wandered back over to Ana.

"How are you doing, Hanzo?" asked Ana.

"I am well." Hanzo answered.

"I heard that you didn't get your memory wiped."

"I do not become traumatized easily. I don't say that to be boastful, as I believe the trait likely comes from a part missing from my brain."

"No, I've gotten that feeling from you."

"And I..."

Hanzo trailed off for a moment to collect his thoughts.

"I actually found the experience to be quite uplifting." he finished.

"Hmm."

The ship touched down just a short while later. Ana dragged Jesse off to her office upon them touching the ground.

Back in his quarters again, Hanzo decided to hit himself up with another round of showering and personal grooming. Once he'd finished, he did his best to get some constitutional writing done, but found it nearly impossible to focus on the merits of one-world governments when his eyes couldn't stop drifting to the ring on his finger and his mind couldn't stop wondering what sex with anarchists was like.

He couldn't believe that he had to wait yet another hour. It really felt like someone was working against him.

A spark shot through Hanzo as a knock finally sounded against his door. Hanzo downed a shot of liquor before answering it.

Jesse's eyes lit up as the door opened. He'd changed into his usual jeans and a flannel, and he held a small box in his hand.

He wasn't wearing shoes.

"You look..." Jesse trailed off as he ran his eyes up Hanzo's body. "Goddamn."

Hanzo looked down at the ornamental kimono he was wearing.

"This is what I always wear." he lied.

"Your hair looks real nice down like that."

"Thank you."

After shooting a look down both the left and right side of the hall, Jesse stepped forward into Hanzo's quarters. Hanzo closed the door behind him.

"For you." Jesse stated as he held out the box he was carrying.

Cautiously, Hanzo reached for the box. He found it was a simple cardboard box with a lid.

Hanzo opened it to see three silk hair ribbons, a familiar looking lucky cat, and about a hundred thousand yen worth of coins and bills.

"Is this--" Hanzo started.

"--all the stuff I stole from you, yeah." Jesse finished.

"...I love it!"

Overcome, Hanzo left for a moment to put the box on his shelf. When he returned, he found Jesse was still in the doorway with an anxious expression.

"Is everything alright?" asked Hanzo.

"Yeah. Just nervous."

Jesse rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke. Hanzo cocked his head with interest as he took a few steps forward.

"I, uh." Jesse stuttered as he reached for Hanzo's hand. "Feel here."

Hanzo's hand was pressed against the left side of Jesse's chest. Under his fingers, he could feel the deep and quick pounding of Jesse's heart.

"Oh." said Hanzo.

"...Yeah."

Jesse was still standing in the doorway. Hanzo took another step forward, causing Jesse to take a step back.

"Was there anything specific you wanted to do tonight?" Hanzo asked.

Jesse swallowed.

"Kinda was." answered Jesse.

"Tell me." Hanzo ordered.

"Kinda hard to think when you're backing me into the door."

"Would you like me to stop?"

Jesse's response was to reach forward and pull Hanzo in by the hips. Hanzo complied easily and let their pelvises fall together.

"Think I can handle myself." said Jesse.

"Perhaps you would prefer to be the one backing me."

"Depends. How do you feel about getting backed into walls?"

There was a small swap of power as Jesse dug his hands into Hanzo's waist. Hanzo nearly hissed to feel Jesse swell against his stomach.

"I've done my fair share of backing, and my fair share of getting backed." Hanzo answered. "I am very fond of variety."

Jesse's eyes seemed to flicker with thought. Hanzo used the time to shift his hips to make sure Jesse could feel how hard he was in return.

"I will say." Hanzo followed. "That I can assure you I'd--"

With two hands on Jesse's shoulders, Hanzo urged them both to take a step back towards the wall.

"--back you with enthusiasm." he finished.

Jesse's eyes seemed to flash with sudden challenge.

"I ain't much for getting backed." Jesse replied.

"I prefer to switch things up."

"We'll get there when we get there. But in the meantime--"

Jesse cut himself off and dug his hands into Hanzo's thighs. Hanzo wrapped his arms around Jesse's torso as Jesse lifted him a few inches in the air and spun him around until the positions of their bodies had swapped.

With a tiny yelp, Hanzo's back hit the door.

"How's this?" Jesse asked.

Hanzo could almost feel his pupils swallow up the brown of his eyes as he felt Jesse's strength against him, holding him in place. Jesse's own eyes looked back at him with enough unadulterated interest to make Hanzo tremble from his core to the tips of his toes that could barely scrape the ground.

"Hanzo?" Jesse followed.

 _"Uh?"_ Hanzo breathed in question.

"How's this?"

Impatient, Hanzo's jerked Jesse's head closer with his arms.

The kiss was a short one, faster and sweeter than it had been on the bridge. The delicate nature of it gave Hanzo a real moment to appreciate the tobacco-scented taste of Jesse's mouth. After a moment, Jesse pulled back and let their foreheads fall together.

"Goddamn." Jesse whispered.

"Is that all you can say?"

"Goddamn."

Hanzo reciprocated quickly as Jesse dipped his head and reconnected their mouths. He pushed a warm, pleasant noise into Jesse's mouth as their lips mutually parted. Jesse cocked his head in response and dug his hands deeper into the sides of Hanzo's thighs.

The glide of their lips grew messier as Hanzo scraped his fingers into Jesse's hair. Hanzo was mildly regretful there wasn't more hair to grab, but he got over it real fast.

"You're gonna kill me." said Jesse.

"So be it." Hanzo replied.

"You got a gorgeous mouth."

"Thank you."

"Been driving me up the wall, not getting to kiss it."

Hanzo cut Jesse off with another kiss that deepened quickly. The delicate popping sound of lips sliding could barely be heard over the hot hum of heavy breath, and Hanzo quickly found himself getting lifted another inch or two off the ground.

"Not to mention the rest of you." Jesse muttered as he pulled back just enough to glance down at Hanzo's torso.

"Hmm." Hanzo hummed with amusement.

"You gonna help me out here?"

Jesse tugged at the belt of Hanzo's kimono. Along with the under-layer, Hanzo loosened his garment enough to let his legs free and reveal the short pair of grey briefs he was wearing.

"One time you wear panties, huh?" Jesse followed.

"I did not trust myself to keep my clothing dry."

With a tiny scoff, Jesse's eyes turned dark. Hanzo let his knees fall apart as his legs were lifted into the air and pinned tight against Jesse's sides. Hanzo tightened his legs of his own freewill as Jesse's hands moved up to cup his ass.

The warm, familiar scent of Jesse was overpowering.

"You mind if I'm a little assertive?" asked Jesse.

To enunciate himself, Jesse pushed forward hard with his pelvis in a clear request. Hanzo exhaled at Jesse's perfect aim.

"I do not." Hanzo answered.

"Good. Only so much I can take, you know?"

Hanzo exhaled a little louder when Jesse jerked his hips again.

Jesse only increased pressure when their mouths reconnected into an exchange of lips and teeth. The movement of Jesse's hips was all done from the waist down, in constant quickening thrusts that grew smarter each time. The mild discomfort of the back of the door against Hanzo's bobbing head did nothing to tamper the thrill of getting ground into the wall.

Hanzo could feel the fabric of his briefs grow damp. He couldn't tell what was more sensitive, his mouth or his cock.

"Still, you tell me-- _ha--_ if I do too much." Jesse managed.

"Who do you take me for?" Hanzo replied. "A man who does not loudly voice his every discomfort?"

Jesse's voice was rough as he chuckled. He paused their hips for a moment to take off his belt before diving back in to rub his cock against Hanzo's at full force. When Jesse leaned forward again to reconnect their mouths, Hanzo urged him to go for the neck instead.

 _"Uh_." Hanzo breathed as Jesse gave an experimental scrape of his teeth.

Jesse hummed with pleasure as he gave another nip. Hanzo traced his own hands over Jesse's roaming ones, aiding them in their quest to squeeze every inch of him.

"You are like a _rock_." Hanzo followed.

"Yeah, I work out." Jesse muttered.

"That is hardly what I meant."

As best he could, Hanzo returned the movement with his own hips. The only downside to the position was that they were too close for him to work down the buttons of Jesse's shirt.

"Wish I could fuck you like this." said Jesse. "Up against the wall."

Hanzo swallowed down the spark in his stomach.

"Why not?" Hanzo replied.

"Arms are getting tired."

At first, Hanzo was reluctant to find himself getting lowered down from the door as Jesse fell to his own knees. But he quickly grew in favor as he was laid out onto his back.

"You comfy?" Jesse asked as he crawled on top of Hanzo and slotted his left thigh between Hanzo's knees.

Hanzo nodded and undid his kimono completely, letting it fan out underneath the two of them. His breath hitched as Jesse got his right hand between the two of them and slowly started to palm against the front of his briefs.

"You're soaking." Jesse followed.

"You wound me." Hanzo muttered.

"Trust me, I ain't much better."

Jesse touched against Hanzo's collar bone with his lips once before moving his head down. With Jesse's hand still teasing his hard-on, Hanzo quickly urged Jesse's mouth down to his left nipple.

He groaned and pressed his own hips against Jesse's hand as teeth caught against the flesh.

"Oh, you like that." Jesse said before lowering his mouth back down to suck the nipple he'd been neglecting.

Jesse's voice was barely above a whisper. Hanzo longed to hear more of it. He felt both his nipples grow hard under the stimulation and hoped Jesse didn't find it offensive when another gush of pre-come turned the fabric of his briefs into an even bigger of a mess.

It was almost too much when Jesse shoved his hand underneath them.

Jesse got his hand around Hanzo's cock and started to stroke right away. Hanzo was amazed that Jesse was able to multitask well enough to keep his mouth in place as he continued to bite. He wasn't quite sure, but he got the feeling Jesse was feeling very impatient.

When Jesse finally pulled away from Hanzo's chest, there was no blood left in Hanzo's head.

"Mind if I move my mouth a little lower?" asked Jesse.

Jesse's eyebrows shot up twice as he spoke. Hanzo shoved Jesse's face into his stomach and just barely resisted the urge to flick him in the forehead.

"Point taken." Jesse followed, his voice muffled.

Heat fluttered in Hanzo's belly as Jesse kissed his waistband. By the time his underwear had been pulled off, Hanzo's was about ready to start begging for it.

 _"Hah_." Hanzo sang as Jesse took him in his mouth.

Hanzo had been expecting a bit of a tease, but Jesse sucked in his cheeks and jumped into a full rhythm right away. As he worked his mouth, Jesse rubbed both his hands into Hanzo's iliac furrows. Hanzo was at first hesitant to have a metal hand on his bare flesh, but soon found it to be just as warm and delicate as Jesse's other.

From the noises he was making, Jesse clearly enjoyed having his mouth full.

"Getsumen chakuriku wa kyohōdeshita." Hanzo muttered as he grabbed two handfuls of Jesse's hair.

Jesse seemed happy enough to be controlled and quietly moaned when Hanzo urged him to slide his lips further down on each stroke. He didn't resist at all as Hanzo tentatively started to grind against his face.

"You are skilled." Hanzo said truthfully.

 _"Mmh_." Jesse replied.

The skin under Jesse's eyes had been flushed pink since he'd first gotten Hanzo up against the wall. Hanzo caught another glimpse of it as Jesse removed his mouth and licked two of his fingers.

"Mind if I..." Jesse trailed off as he snuck a hand under Hanzo's butt.

"I do not." answered Hanzo.

Jesse nodded and filled his mouth back up before moving his hand. Hanzo felt his toes curl in anticipation as Jesse pressed his thumb over the cleft between his legs. He did his best to keep from smiling when Jesse's eyes widened in realization.

Jesse pulled away with a dirty pop.

"Oh, you didn't." he muttered as he picked up some of the slick on his pointer finger and worked it into Hanzo with ease.

"I saw no reason not to." Hanzo replied.

"I can't believe it."

"I figured that if you wanted to make love, it would be worth my time. And even if you did not, or if you specifically wanted to receive, I at least had fun."

Jesse's eyes lip up at the words 'have fun'.

"Naughty boy..." Jesse trailed off as he pressed two more fingers in.

Hanzo wasn't sure exactly why Jesse's words caused him to flush with pride, but they did.

"What are you planning to do of it?" Hanzo replied.

Jesse's response was to remove his fingers and reach into the back pocket of his jeans. He quickly pulled out a small foil square and got to his knees.

"I have a bed." Hanzo followed as Jesse unzipped his pants and pulled his erection through the opening in his boxers.

"Mighty flattered you think I got the patience to wait that long."

Jesse rolled down the condom. To Hanzo's relief, he could see that Jesse's cock was of a standard, manageable size. It was still a little larger than Hanzo would have liked, but he supposed everything about Jesse couldn't be perfect.

As Jesse pulled out a tiny bottle of lube and began to spread some on his cock, Hanzo was struck with the sudden suspicion that he was about to get fucked very, very hard.

"How do you like getting screwed?" asked Jesse.

"From behind."

"I wanna see your face."

Hanzo chuckled lightly and rolled slightly onto his left side. After a moment of lag, Jesse grinned.

"Good compromise." Jesse said as he pressed his chest against Hanzo's right side and scooted up behind him.

Hanzo's right leg was hitched up and over Jesse's body, with Hanzo's ankle brushing the back of Jesse's pants. Jesse laid his head against Hanzo's right pec as he took aim and started to press in.

"That alright?" Jesse asked after he'd given a few inches.

Hanzo nodded and willed himself to relax. Jesse pressed a quick kiss against his cheek before sinking in the rest of the way.

 _"Oh._ " Jesse groaned. "Can't tell you how long I've wanted to do that."

Just for a moment, Hanzo tightened himself to fully enjoy the feeling of being filled with Jesse's cock. Jesse lifted his head up, giving Hanzo the choice of looking at his face.

"You've not even taken off your shirt." Hanzo replied.

"You mind if I'm a little rushed?"

"Not at all."

Hanzo made a few tiny adjustments in his hips to help his muscles relax. Jesse's right hand brushed under his right thigh and gave it a tiny squeeze.

"And do you mind if I'm a little dirty?" Jesse asked. "Kinda feel like being a little dirty."

"Please." Hanzo replied as he backed up into Jesse, wanting to show his impatience.

Jesse's eyes flashed with interest. Slowly, he pulled himself halfway out and pushed himself back in.

"That alright?" he asked.

 _"Yes._ "

Their eyes locked as Jesse started to thrust for real. Although the pace was slow, Hanzo had to bite his tongue to keep from crying out.

He watched with interest as Jesse’s expression shifted from elated to amazed.

 _”Ah…_ ” Jesse muttered.

"You are so warm." said Hanzo.

"Thank you."

"You should aim towards my navel."

After a tiny lull in his rhythm, Jesse complied. Hanzo maneuvered his own body a bit to help Jesse find the spot.

"There!" Hanzo called when Jesse found it.

"Here?" Jesse asked.

"No, up a bit."

"Here?"

"Down."

"...Here?"

"Ah-- _ah._ "

"Gotcha."

After making a tiny adjustment to his position, Jesse resumed the roll of his hips and began to hit Hanzo's prostate properly with every thrust. Hanzo felt eyes on him as he turned into a mess.

"Sorry I didn't give--a little more foreplay." Jesse muttered. "But that's what you get--when you torture a man for eighteen months."

The breathlessness of Jesse's voice mixed together with his usual silky tone to create something truly memorable. Hanzo felt a shudder run up his spine at the sound.

"I've tortured you?" asked Hanzo.

"Running around naked?"

"I was unaware it affected you so."

"Well, it did. Might make me a--weak man, but there ain't been one time I've seen your ass--where I didn't think about bending you over the counter."

"Keep talking."

"Gave me plenty to think about at night, I can tell you that."

Unable to help himself, Hanzo sung out a note of pleasure at Jesse's words.

"I had a--dream of you once." Hanzo admitted.

"Yeah?"

"I was--I pleasured myself in my sleep."

Hanzo could just barely feel it when Jesse's cock twitched with interest. A moment later, Jesse added a bit more speed into the roll of his pelvis. Hanzo did his best to bring his own hips back to help things along.

"Woke up with come all over the sheets?" Jesse asked with a messy exhale.

Hanzo nodded. Considering the nature of what his dream had turned to, he thought it best to lie.

"Oh, that's real hot." Jesse followed. "Got me burning up."

"I am--I feel so good." Hanzo stuttered.

"Yeah?"

"I lusted for you."

"Should've told me. I knew we'd make--good love since the moment I saw you."

Hanzo felt his face heat up at Jesse's words. He looked down to see that his chest had flushed pink.

"Gonna level with you, I ain't gonna last." said Jesse.

With another nod, Hanzo lowered his right hand and wrapped it around his erection. He rubbed his thumb over the head before settling in on a slow, tight pace.

"Think about you touching yourself a lot." Jesse whispered.

 _"Mhh._ " Hanzo hummed.

"I had this--"

Jesse cut himself off.

"What?" asked Hanzo.

"It's nothing." Jesse replied.

"Tell me."

"I liked to think about you--uh--trying to multitask."

"Hmm?"

"Thought about you--getting real revved up while you were--doing the dishes or something. So you'd shove a hand down your pants to see--if you could do two things at once."

"And?"

"You'd get a little--distracted."

Jesse's breath grew warm and heavy. By the stoic tension in his brow and the pretty flush under his eyes, Hanzo could tell he was getting close.

"You'd figure out that you couldn't really play with yourself and do the dishes cause that don't really make sense but you'd--ha--"

Jesse sucked in a breath.

"--keep playing with yourself anyway." he finished

 _"Nhg._ "

"Then you'd kinda...fall to your knees."

Hanzo groaned again as Jesse landed a particularly good strike against his prostate. A drop of precome dripped down Hanzo's staff and onto the tight muscles of his stomach. Hanzo wondered if Jesse could feel it when he started to quiver.

"Fuck, I'm real close." Jesse followed.

Pumping his hand faster, Hanzo felt himself nearing his own peak as well. He didn't resist when Jesse captured his lips in a messy kiss. A hot jolt rushed towards Hanzo's pelvis when Jesse moaned into his mouth.

"Right there." Hanzo muttered as he began to teeter on the edge. "Please don't stop."

"Couldn't stop. You gotta come for me?"

"Yes."

"Want me to come inside you?"

 _"Yes._ "

"Hell, I'll come in you--gonna come so--"

Jesse cut himself off sharp inhale. Hanzo's toes tightened as the rhythm grew deep and messy. He felt so good, so good that he wasn't sure how much more he could take until--

 _"Iku._ " Hanzo said as his body tightened.

"Fuck, I can feel you tensing around me."

Hanzo looked down just in time to see white start to pool over his navel. Against his right shoulder, he felt Jesse nuzzle him.

"I'm gonna--" Jesse started.

The push and pull of Jesse's breath was thick with pleasure as he buried himself deep. As he let out a low whine, Jesse's cock started to twitch once again.

"Ahh...ahh... _ahhhhh._ " he finished.

Hanzo could almost feel the tension melt from Jesse's body as his orgasm concluded. After two more long, shaky presses of his pelvis, Jesse let out a sigh of relief.

A long, lazy moment went by before either of them said anything. Jesse wrapped an arm around Hanzo, and Hanzo pressed a kiss into Jesse's sweaty hairline.

"Don't say it." Hanzo muttered.

"God _damn._ "

"You've said it."

Jesse let out a short giggle of a laugh. Carefully, he laid Hanzo's leg back down and slid out. But before he could pull Hanzo's body close to cuddle, Hanzo opened his mouth.

"Do you truly want to lie on the floor?" asked Hanzo.

"I'm so happy." Jesse replied.

"Would you like to retire to my room?"

"I'm so _happy._ "

"Could I interest you in being happy somewhere else?"

"...Suppose I could handle some blankets."

"Good. Get up."

After letting out an empty groan of protest, Jesse got up on two shaking feet. He quickly pulled off the condom and tucked himself back into his pants.

"I'm gonna go...throw this away." Jesse said as he left for the bathroom.

When Jesse returned from the bathroom a moment later, Hanzo walked in himself to clean off his belly. He hung his kimono on the back of his door after finding that it had managed to stay clean.

Hanzo was naked when he stepped out of the bathroom. Jesse looked him up and down and took a step forward.

"What?" Hanzo asked.

"I feel overdressed." Jesse replied as he scooped Hanzo into his arms.

With a grunt from both of them, Jesse did his best to lead Hanzo into his bedroom with shaky arms. However, he was unable to open the door.

"Sorry." Jesse followed, carefully lowering Hanzo to the ground.

"Pathetic." Hanzo scoffed as he slung Jesse over his shoulders.

"Ah!"

After opening the door with ease, Hanzo dumped Jesse onto his bed. Jesse ran a hand through his short hair before opening his mouth back up.

"So what I'm hearing is that you're alright with me spending the night?" asked Jesse.

"If you wish."

"I wish. Mind if I get naked?"

"I'd be appalled if you didn't."

Jesse chuckled a bit before getting to work on his clothes. Having never seen Jesse naked before, Hanzo watched with interest.

"Stop staring." said Jesse.

"I want to see if you have a chastity belt."

"Think you'd have figured that out by now."

Although Hanzo was no longer horny enough to fully admire it, Jesse's body was something to appreciate. Hanzo was mildly disappointed when Jesse covered himself with the blankets. After grabbing them both a cup of water, Hanzo joined him under the covers.

"Mhh." Hanzo hummed in pleasure when Jesse's arms wrapped around him.

"Can I kiss you again?"

"You do not have to ask."

Jesse chuckled and pulled himself onto Hanzo's chest. He lifted his chin up so that their mouths could meet in the middle.

Hanzo let his eyes flutter closed. He felt like it was the first time he really got to appreciate just how soft Jesse's mouth was. He did his best not to burst into tears with the overwhelming reminder that Jesse was safe, alive, and in his arms.

After a few short, satisfying presses, Jesse pulled back.

"Mind if I smoke?" he asked.

"I do not."

Jesse leaned over to grab a cigar from his discarded pants. After he'd lit it, he returned to his spot on Hanzo's chest.

"Something I wanna ask you." Jesse stated after he'd taken a draw.

"Ask."

"How long have you wanted to be with me?"

"...Since we met."

Hanzo watched in interest as Jesse's face turned from bashful and elated to downright flabbergasted.

"And you never said anything?" Jesse asked, as if it was the most absurd thing on the planet.

"You never said anything to me." Hanzo replied.

"I was nervous, was all. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did not want to put you off."

With his flesh hand, Jesse rubbed his forehead with amazement.

"You knew I wanted to fuck you." he muttered. "Why didn't you use that as leverage?"

"Everyone wants to fuck me." answered Hanzo.

"...Fair enough."

"Furthermore, you knew _I_ wanted to fuck _you._ Why did you not use that as leverage?"

"You wanna fuck everybody."

Hanzo joined Jesse in a short snicker.

After their laughter tapered off, Hanzo found his mind wandering back to the day of Jesse's capture. He then found it wandering back even farther, to the day he'd first met Jesse up on the roof of the radar array.

"May I ask you something?" Hanzo questioned.

"What you got for me?"

Hanzo thought to himself for a moment to determine how to best express himself.

"After all that has happened." he started slowly. "All that you have seen in your life. What do you believe to be best for society?"

"...Hell of a question. What brought that up?"

"I was thinking of all that I have seen since coming to Watchpoint. The question seemed relevant in an overarching sense, and I wanted your opinion on the matter."

Jesse nodded. A moment later, his face twisted with thought.

"I think you gotta be nice to people." answered Jesse.

"You can't be serious."

"No, I am. It's like...a chain reaction. You being nice to someone makes them more likely to be nice to somebody else, and then so on."

Hanzo said nothing.

"It ain't that I don't think politics and philosophy are important." Jesse continued. "It's more that I reckon being kind leads to better politics and philosophy."

"You truly believe it so easy?"

"Easy? It ain't easy at all. It's real, real hard. Cause you still gotta do it even when people ain't nice to you back."

Hanzo supposed Jesse had brought up a good point.

"I've often wondered why you love them so." Hanzo muttered.

"Who?"

"Humans."

Jesse let out a short snicker at Hanzo's response.

"I just reckon most folks are doing their damndest." said Jesse. "And that makes them real hard to hate."

As he spoke, Jesse rolled over and away from Hanzo. When he pulled the blanket up over himself, Hanzo got the feeling he was about ready to sleep.

"You are a very amusing man." Hanzo muttered.

"So be it." Jesse replied.

As he turned off the lights, Hanzo couldn’t help but wonder how he’d gotten so lucky.


	17. epilogue

_April 16th, 2084_

Hanzo sat on the the breakroom couch with Jesse to his right and Morrison to his left. Genji and Fareeha sat at the table, although they both looked ready to leave.

"I should probably be on my way." Genji announced as he stood. "I enjoyed our conversation, but I have dinner with my wife."

"I should go too." Fareeha replied. "But before I do, does anybody want the rest of my food?"

"What is it?" asked Jesse.

"Calamari."

Hanzo's pupils began to rapidly dilate.

"Gross." Morrison stated.

"I would be interested." Hanzo said to Fareeha in the most innocent voice he could manage.

Fareeha set her plate of calamari in Hanzo's lap along with a clean fork. Hanzo dug in as soon as he'd gotten the fork in my hand.

"Enjoy your squid." Fareeha replied.

"You--you too." Hanzo stammered as Fareeha left the room.

"It's _fine._ " Jesse whispered before Hanzo could get up to go kill himself.

As soon as the door had closed behind Fareeha, Morrison began to look uncomfortable.

"Well, I'm gonna do us all a favor and get going." he announced. "I don't really think there's anything the three of us got to talk about."

Morrison's butt was about halfway off the couch when Jesse opened his mouth.

"Goddamn, I hate hippies." said Jesse.

Morrison froze.

"Hate them." Jesse followed.

"What?" Morrison replied as he plopped back down on the couch. "I love hippies."

"You do?"

"Yeah. What's better than listening to Joe No Shoes talk about how we can fix the economy by smoking enough weed?"

As Jesse began to chuckle, Hanzo widened his eyes and nodded.

"Hippies smell bad and are dumb." Hanzo agreed.

"Can you imagine being that proud not to have a job?" asked Morrison. "If I was as poor as a hippie, I'd apologize to my parents."

"Hippies accumulate a total of five hundred credits in their lifetime and it all goes into one pair of Birkenstocks."

Morrison let out a dry, raspy laugh that Hanzo hadn't heard in seven years.

"Stop." Morrison begged. "Laughing hurts."

Jesse let out a sharp chuckle.

Under the blanket, Hanzo reached over and touched Jesse's metal hand. Against his ring finger, Hanzo felt the gold band that had long since been soldered on.

"You guys wanna watch Die Hard?" Morrison followed.

"I would not be opposed." Hanzo replied. "Although I feel it's best I warn the both of you that the villain in that film makes me horny."

"I'm fine with that if you two are."

"I'm fine with that."

"...What the hell?" Jesse asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed my work, I really appreciate how friendly the ao3 audience usually is. I had a lot of fun writing this and the comments I got were very encouraging. sorry that most of my replies were some iteration of "henlo thbans u" 
> 
> special thank you to everyone who supported me on patreon and the artists who drew my dumb scenes
> 
> also you can read my original-ish work [here](https://www.owoot.net/)

**Author's Note:**

> my twitter is [my twitter](https://twitter.com/AssesButtz) if you wanna follow me or whatever
> 
> thank you everyone for the comments i really appreciate them, especially reviews


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